She was the only thing which had kept me functioning at all since my Father's unfortunate death. God bless you Milly: my tears will be without end. I'm so sorry things haven't worked out for you as I would have liked and I'm going to miss you more than words can ever say.

This, will be a year without a Summer ............

It's really strange how few pictures I've taken of her considering how fond I was of her and how affordable photography became since the arrival of digital Computers. I suppose part of me didn't want to believe, or hadn't thought about the fact that she wouldn't be there forever. I think this one says an awful lot and is perhaps the best I've got. Besides the fact that she was a stunningly beautiful animal she was thoroughly fearless and remarkably intelligent. It is a simple observation to say that I was arguably more closely bonded with her than I ever have been with another human: what being of the remark that my Mother had chosen? to do something else.

04 06 12

It seems to me that I should make some attempt to explain in short what I see as all too plausibly lies at the root of my personal & family troubles.

What is of the fact that my Father was without any doubt as far as I can see on his paternal side originally derived from Whitechapel's Jewish community about five generations ago or more, seems to have been so to speak something like a camp follower of this gentleman and may have thought that his family's fortune would be safer in Victorian England than under the auspices of the Hohenzollerns.

It is of course Albert of Saxe Coburg Gothe and I'm afraid the pictorial evidence tends to strongly support the contention that he was in fact the Son of Baron Mayern the Court Musician and half Jewish: every picture of him I can find tends to show him squinting guiltily askance as in the Winterhalter portrait of 1842 below.

Interesting enough especially in view of the fact that the Windsors don't acknowledge any Jewish blood but are obviously partly Jewish. I hadn't noticed until my Father pointed it out some time after the turn of the Millennium though I don't doubt it is taken as fact by most Germans for example: he had initially suggested that the Bowes-Lyon connection was to blame. What is of the observation that not only have they managed to rid themselves of their own Monarchy within the last few generations but most of the mentally feeble and infirm as well.

Now what interests me at this point is not the matter of airing my own opinions or prejudices but the necessity of acknowledging facts. I may have good personal reasons for not finding anything to celebrate in the Queens Jubilee and in this I do belong to an anonymous majority if Polls are to be believed but I do think it true that the 20 yr old Victoria had joined in a girl's plot with her Mother and Aunt to free herself from various constraints by marrying a first Cousin who she knew to be illegitimate. I think Albert ignored subliminal gossip to that effect and that Victoria quashed it by various means including adroitly moving around bodies of troops and daring those of the upper class who had noticed this to try and make a fuss about it, which they couldn't do without raising the question of why didn't they do it when they first had the chance. I would say that this became more and more difficult to explain as time went on without raising a dynastic crisis that would probably have pitted the Queen and loyal aristocrats as well as significant elements of the commonalty who didn't want to see a little girl upset against an upper class establishment: lots of little things tend to support such a view of events such as the fact she had a headache on the fist night of her honeymoon, that toward the end of her reign her regime lacked authority and that the greatest Empire the World had ever seen reached its zenith with the shameful embarrassment that was the Boer War.

What I am about to say next may have an impact on the amount of state sponsored violence in the middle east especially and consists of the allegation made by various authors that this man Walter Sickert is Jack the Ripper and that a considerable story lies in alleged concealment of the fact by the British establishment. I know little about how much attention my website has had from various quarters in the fifteen years or so since I first started making written expositions on the extent to which I find my national legal system to be overwhelmingly corrupted and I earnestly wish I were flattering myself in terms of the explanations I have found that tend to suggest that my personal history has been manipulated as a response to the interest of powerful individuals.

The point is that we shouldn't believe that western nations with their clumsily acquired and rocketing Post War Living Standards are in principle different or more virtuous somehow than smaller middle eastern nations with dictatorial regimes who really have little choice but to copy the more successful nations. The Sickert hypothesis convincingly incriminates the 'holier than thou,' portrayal of the British Empire and Commonwealth in the 20th century as portrayed by English speaking historians and not enough is made out of the fact that the economic success of the United States is built on Genocide and War. Whilst I don't necessarily suggest that short term political strategy can be easily built on such a blunt suggestion about such realities, I think as a point of principle it is going to be inescapably quite necessary if any sort of genuine trust or understanding of any diplomatic value is to be contrived in the longer term in questions about 'the rule of law,' or the facts of so called 'international law.'

I would rather ask the opinions of others about the impression that this version of late 19th century history simmered on between the lines of the big News stories and Wars of the earlier 20th century and that Hitler's speeches were in many respects designed to try and expose Sickert's voice as having said certain things, perhaps saliently in respect of the immorality of Prostitution and that he had found himself targeting Mr Whiting in seeking to expose and explain the scandal of the Whitechapel Murders in an easily understandable manner to the European 'literati' of the earlier part of the 20th century than I would care to proffer a less than comprehensively analysed opinion. I have to admit it seems plausible that when my Grandfather was thinking of settling down and getting married in the thirties, that he had to sign away the entirety of his family fortunes to the family of a girl from the Suffolk Essex border in order to keep the suggestion from clumsily appearing in the Media to support the anti-war appeasement faction as Churchill was taking over and actually being serious about confronting Nazi Germany.

If we accept the Sickert hypothesis then we ought to extrapolate that into a brief resume of key 2Oth century events that were clearly influenced by it.

The first key event of the 20th century that could obviously be said to have been overwhelmingly determined or influenced by a posited conspiracy to ignore the fact of Walter Sickert's alter ego would perhaps be the killing of the Romanov family by the Russian Revolutionaries. What is obviously of the remark that things might have gone better for them if Tsar Nicholas 2nd's identical Cousin George was not immersed in just such a scandal: that is of course highly debatable and Nicholas was no Angel in that it seems he was known to have at least informally encouraged attacks on ethnic minorities. I feel however that it is very plausible and probably quite true that Victoria had at least partly intended to provoke the sort of conflict that had broken out in 1914 with the central powers over the issue of minority rights though again this is highly debatable and really lies within the purview of specialist historians.

The next is probably in terms of our view of Hitler and WW2: it should perhaps in some respects be accepted that in principle he only started copying the use of political assassination, that he got carried away with it and that he didn't speak good enough German to really drive Sickert's voice into public view so to speak. It should perhaps also be accepted that Churchill had significantly neglected to inform Roosevelt about this aspect of the European War that America became involved in but again it's not an easy matter to define casually in that for instance such suggestions are very close to the nature of the personal sort of ideological understandings that underpin the precise nature of contemporary political and ideological stability as the post war era recedes slowly into history.

It seems difficult to avoid some examination of a fairly complex question or rather a series of questions about the nature and reality of Murder and Political Assassination in our so called civilised and democratic society. Such allegations about the reality of political history in the western world obviously have a bearing on contemporary events in the middle east but as far as domestic issues are concerned the suggestion implies a very much less meaningful portrayal of Democracy than that in which we are encouraged to believe. A lot of contemporary hiatus about military and state secrets seems to support the suggestion in terms of the fact that the Internet has quite suddenly exposed the fact that beforehand people generally had little choice but to accept what facts they were given about issues like Crime and Government Spending as part of a highly simplified party political dialogue.

It seems reasonable if this were true, to surmise that the Yanks had gotten into a bit of a tizzy about how to interpret and acknowledge the apparent truth of the Sickert hypothesis as an open secret among world leaders in relation to ensuing events with numerous high profile assassinations of public figures accompanying the liberal sixties in North America. In historical terms what is needed is a much more down to earth view of history that views the Age of Empire as just another episode in an endless litany of moral and organisational human failure though of course it is something of a truism to say so: it is a rather more meaningful remark that what is relevantly of the allegation that it was progress that brought comparative material success later in the 20th century not ideological correctness. This is why the anti establishmentarianism so often seen as characteristic of the post war era focused (correctly in my view) on issues such as militarism and racism and I think it's important to understand that it was rather mere Progress, not really Politics and certainly not Politicians that has improved the lives of so many in the 20th century and beyond.

Politicians today need to address this fact and deal with the impact it is having on the environment, are finding it far too easy to avoid the blunt realities and cover themselves in glory they do not deserve. Whilst this may also seem fatuous I do believe that it is overwhelmingly what needs to be said if our faith in Democracy is to have some real justification.

If it were true that positive qualities of English speaking Politicians had made a vital worthwhile contribution to human endeavour in general in the post industrial era, then surely there would be some genuine acknowledgement of it obviously in evidence but there isn't, and the British Empire collapsed precisely because it's leaders had failed to convince non ethnic citizens of their/its moral superiority and good intent. About a hundred years later what we have instead is a huge garbage patch in the middle of the Pacific ocean about the size of Europe as the product of competing jurisdictions, thoughtless mass production with highly notional propagandistic concepts of International Law, propounded by a media machine that feeds us garbage about the "big society," and "role models," who should really be viewed with suspicion or contempt rather than admiration. This is very much (among other things) to say that no-one deserves anything for the fact that I was born in a comparatively prosperous time and place compared to most human statistics, this was a pure coincidence of fate and most emphatically not a symptom of any inspired management deserving of any sort of unusual gratitude.

At a personal level I have to now presume that the difficulties and extraordinary problems I have encountered in my own lifetime may stem almost entirely from the fact that predominantly female Irish relatives whom I have never really had anything to do with otherwise had overheard or perhaps rather noticed this conversation about the identity of Jack the Ripper against a background of Cocaine sniffing Gang fights in the London of the 1960's though they probably didn't know what it was about at the time. It's not definitely significant to my personal situation and I don't specifically proffer it as anything other than a believable background scenario. It seems I was moved around too much to have retained accurate memories of my infancy until I was about forty years of age, and all I could then remember about it was being hassled by Pimps (the Kray Twins) who were owed money for Cocaine. That seems now to account for much of a general failure to communicate effectively with local officialdom since I was of school leaving age in that it is in fact very possible that not even one single friend or relative of any variety or description had realised that subsequent to being transported several hundred miles to a Northumbrian Coal Mining Town at the age of six I had only a handful of the vaguest memories of my infant existence. These have all proved to be generally false and it seems for instance that close relatives found subsequent to my return to my infant neighbourhood in my early teens, that it was a simple expedient to suggest that I knew of certain distasteful facts and I have possibly seemed to have been involved in relevant conversation subsequently. To be somewhat more specific: if One takes it that 'recovered memories,' from 2004 did refer to instances of serious Crime that family/relatives obviously don't want to talk about, it seems logical enough to suggest they in turn persuaded people to think not only that I did know about them but that I had also managed to psychologically adjust to certain inescapable conclusions about them, and had even added to the story or stories insofar as the centrepiece of these recovered memories is the conclusion that I was witness to the arrangements of big name Gangsters who were very much in the public eye of the society that existed in the London of the sixties.

I don't want to end up playing the role of the dying swan but my life has been a fairly disgusting ordeal in almost every respect that I can think of and I have to assert that for instance the best years of my life were spent being forced to work illegally with the abbetance of local Officials who have mistakenly adduced that I had any association with my Irish relatives beyond the fact that I was a blood relative with expunged and fictionalised memories of infancy. It seems appropriate to point out that it isn't so very unfair to suggest that my Mother should not have been allowed to develop that situation and that officials supervising Educational, Welfare, Medical and Legal Services had let me down to an unacceptable degree. The contention obviously elicits a number of questions about which it is possible to obtain a frighteningly contrasting range of official or semi official viewpoints concerning the role and scope of such persons and their respective Offices. It must have been a few years ago now that I realised that a number of individuals had been blackmailed by my Mother and an older sister in particular over Drugs and Sex scandals in the early 1970s but it is only within the last few weeks that I have made the fair seeming conclusion that there had been a noticeable exchange between ER and my Father at about the time of the Kray's reign of terror in the previous decade and that it was plausibly about the allegation that Sickert was JtR and a Lover of Queen Alexandra or at least a confidante shall we say, and that it had been noticed by at least one of my Mother's sisters.

She obviously didn't personally have much idea how to manipulate such information and was in fact guilty of trying to engineer my Father's Murder in the mid sixties or so it seems. I have little doubt that she had trouble getting proper attention from a GP and that this partly accounts for the manner of her collapse and death in 2006.

Over the years I have tended to try and ignore the fact of a remotely viewed the Royal Family being faced with an endless list of problems that their presence did observably less than nothing to improve and One cannot help wondering if they are aware of the extent to which docile Parliaments and corrupt non functioning legal system have not provided things which exist only on paper. I have been trying without success for thirty years to find meaningful Legal Representation and unless One has money the actual reality is when compared to that it simply doesn't exist. Obtaining something of any appropriate worth from the National Health Service and the Education system is something that is highly hit and miss. I don't deny that either are a good idea, and I don't say that it is generally true, but in my Case the attention I have had has been of such poor quality for one reason or another, that I would refuse to buy it, and the Dental Service has proved worse than none at all. The fact that the NHS exists in name means increasingly little of genuine value as far as I can work out and my own prognosis is unfortunately that I would have been better off if it didn't. The Politicians propounding its value are propagandising to the unlearned who largely cannot meaningfully question or examine what they are told and the majority of its Employees are as self interested and evasive of responsibility as any private concern and some of them do earn decent money. A basic assumption that the NHS would honourably fulfil its role in my existence has left me quite sick and is arguably going to be the biggest single factor in determining that I am unlikely to surpass the average life expectancy. If what I consider a generally dishonoured GP's care had been the subject of a necessity to seek health insurance instead of the subject of a so called national service I would have been better able to insist that I did not fall under my Father's deranged mismanagement than I have in stupidly trusting in the vague idea that some Public Servant to do the decent thing.

So I don't want to pour cold water on anyone's chance of enjoying the Jubilee celebrations as an excuse for some sociable recreation but from my point of view there is very little, or no basis at all for any sort of nationalist fellow feeling in the event. I did have an atrocious time as a child and it isn't my fault that things I was told I could expect in the way of assistance don't work, did the opposite of what they were supposed to, or simply didn't materialise at all.

I suppose the most interesting thing about the allegation that Sickert was JtR as far I can see, is that the Abdication of 1938 was probably occasioned by a failed attempt on the part of the Windsors to do the dirty on Mr Whiting and distance themselves from knowledge of the Whitechapel Murders. One has to consider that if One accepts the Sickert hypothesis then it should probably also be accepted that a significant proportion of the House of Lords were accessories to the fact by the '20s. In terms of historical reality this would also tend to suggest that especially at the top of society, many were not motivated by a desire to oppose fascist tyranny, but rather by fear of the Mob and/or the Hangman's noose. This could obviously go a long way toward explaining why a class bound pre war society mutated so rapidly between approximately 1930 and 1970 into the acceptance of a significantly powerful 'liberal,' establishment which rejects Capital punishment.

I have obviously thought about keeping some of this to myself and trying to write a book or something but the fact of the matter is that I have been trying completely fruitlessly for approximately thirty years to acquire the most basic of Legal Advice and Representation and I haven't much intention of spending another thirty years writing to people who simply take anything less than an angry Mob as a sign of weakness and laugh up their sleeves at people stupid enough to put any faith in British Justice and write letters about it which are going to be laughingly binned by faceless Officials.

As far as I am concerned the Suffolk Police need to put their hands up and admit that they have been hiding letters about my Father's Death/Murder at the Ipswich Hospital: their failure to do this has had and will continue to have horrific consequences.

I find the legal system in the County of Suffolk is so corrupt and worthless that I have to consider that my best option will be to write to foreign Ambassadors in an attempt to shame and embarrass those Officials most obviously responsible.

I would have said for example it was far too visibly arguable that people like the young James Callaghan and other post War Labour Politicians had realised sometime during WW2 that it has significantly blown up in the way it had, over the putative fact of the open secret of our Walter's alter ego and that a trail of intrigues followed which does account for predominantly Labour Politicians and aficionados so self interestedly circulating pauperising lies about me, whilst profiting from things like absentee Councillorships. Further corroboration of the Sickert hypothesis can arguably be found in the manner in which my good name and household have been plagiarised by acquaintances of the present MP Ben Gummer and Tory aficionados, who had been told not to mistake my distaste for Politicians to indicate a factional interest.

What is of the remark that their seeking to associate themselves with me (if rather indirectly) was probably the main motive for the fact my Dog Milly was poisoned at the beginning of 2010: I have no intention of helping the Gummers make a career or earn a living, I find any suggestion I should preposterous and have repeatedly made the observation there might be certain unworthy reasons why an appropriate citizen hasn't found his way into the Job instead of an out of Town Placeman. I might choose to modify one or two of these remarks but in general I'm afraid the reality is that rather than belonging to some mythical folk community wherein successful Capitalists look after unsuccessful Capitalists and low earning 'wage slaves,' the less people like this can find out about you and your well being the better off you will be. It's a much better idea to be just out of the limelight and know what is going on than it is to find Oneself in the position of being associated and having to fit in with the publicity related deceptions of Political Parties and Political Candidates which involve the individual's wherewithal. This is especially the case when one considers the large picture. For instance the fact that the Election of 1979 really represented for most Britons, a massive deception which outwardly feigned interest in the political process rather than the mere maintenance of prosperity and stability at any ideological or moral cost: British politics became a means of pretending to take an interest in the political ideology of what became known as the 'global village,' by the mid to late nineties not a vehicle for it which is what we are overtly encouraged to believe.

You can see what I mean surely: this is her looking happy and fit in 2007 below left in a fairly hi res picture taken by the local Paper, when for some reason she had developed an (ill fated) resemblance to the owl eyed Father of the then Tory Challenger for the Seat John Selwyn, whose Son Benjamin had captured the Seat at the last General Election as local people will know.

Certainly has the look of a man who has stolen someone else's shirt and I also believe it to be true that the Housing Benefit reforms were significantly the result of an attempt to misreport and launder the fact that persons who largely identified themselves as Conservatives were forcing me to commit Benefit Fraud in the eighties. What is of the remark that the Town is really fairly hostile to him and that Candidates should have rather more association with a Constituency other than being able to buy a House in it with Daddy's money. He seems to admit that he is rather a representative of Oligarchy (government by the wealthy) than of any democratic aspiration or ideal. It is very tempting proposition indeed that his (or should I say his Father's) attempt to take advantage of lawlessness has significantly led to last summer's riots and that his attempt to feign friendliness with my voice significantly underlay the recent incident in the Spreadeagle. It is rather more obvious (to me anyway) that his Father John Gummer has known for many years that the eviscerated corpse of Mary Kelly (and a few others) is the skeleton in the closet of the House of Windsor. What is of the suspicion that the only person who might obviously stand to gain anything from such ghastly ineptitude on the part of the Legal Establishment is the Labour Candidate. What is of observing as far as either or perhaps any ambitious political wannabees are concerned that being the Member of Parliament carries no statutory right to take an interest in the personal affairs of the Boroughs's Householders, Citizens and Taxpayers, that they are both grubbily eavesdropping on territory that isn't their own and trying to profit from political machination rather than at all genuinely popular or representative.

For the record I considered Mr Mole and Mr Gummer equally iniquitous and I resent their attempts to be friendly whilst they're profiteering from a generally deceitful attempt to make a pretence of serving consensual Democracy or upholding Justice. As matters stand it is a simple economic fact I cannot afford a Conservative Government without the legal rapprochement I feel it is obvious that I deserve.

10 06 12

As far as allegations of personal dishonesty go I am reminded of what was happening when this photo was taken in about 1998.

What is of the remark that I have consistently sought to confront any allegations of impropriety not avoid them. I was badly ruined by the events of the early eighties and have stuck to the remark that the legal advice I had was unacceptable and unsatisfactory. Of an odd minor incident or two from prior to '85 that had not been noted and at least one of which I had mentioned on my CV document by the late nineties, what is of the remark that they are acceptably classifiable as accidents of intent which only really substantiate the picture I paint of having been robbed of the sum of what little I owned as a School Leaver. Of course it sounds dramatic to say I was set up by Blackmailers and Sex Offenders whose affairs were significantly laundered under the auspices of a notable German Refugee Teacher whose real name was Heinkel. In asserting that I was not and am not to blame for certain dysfunctional situations, it seems worth reiterating that a massive pretence of caring for me and my life chances was undertaken by School and Welfare Authorities prior to 1980, and it is hardly surprising, given that my Father's behaviour was in fact schizoid and thoroughly disturbing that I expected to find something genuinely helpful or worthwhile as a result. Instead I was dumped in an inhospitable Tower Block long overdue for demolition with him on the far side of Town miles away from anyone I knew who might really have been willing and/or able to help me with what would have been an austere and difficult start in life under the most optimistic interpretation of circumstances. The assertion that he did not deserve to have allegations of sexual misdemeanour overlooked does not somehow rule out the suggestion that I was and am indeed more than acceptably honest and always have been: he had obviously tried to make one go with the other and it didn't work out. No-one had ever seriously believed anything else about him than that he was evading such allegations, and the fact it was not officially the case was without any value, especially to me when people have subsequently thought I was involved in some sort of cover up which I had in fact pointedly refused to join in with.

This is Jack Whiting again, in about 2005

What is of suggesting that the image does bear out the suggestion that he is a sinister schemer with something "of the night," about his personality and that any semblance of innocence or virtue is in fact appertaining to my own voice.

I described an incident with a Chicken I had taken from a Party in a fit of attention seeking in about '84 at some point in my CV and I may have forgotten to relate that I had actually tried to give it back but that one of Alois Bruner's Grandchildren had prevented it by threatening someone with a big stick. This could have been either incriminatory or sympathetic in that the simple fact could be that he was happy enough that he had done serious damage to my life chances by then, in that he had been at Northgate before me and was significantly responsible for some disastrous failure to communicate with staff there. What is of the remark that it is almost certain now that the incident has been understood in the light of my being genuinely lost and unremembering of any of the detail of my previous life, and being half way through trying to explain to a certain young lady Scholar that I had been unhappy about the way in which I felt I had been saddled with bad company at my previous School. I think she always agreed that this half German family had been trying to make trouble for me on historical, ideological and racist grounds and had been far too happy about trying to develop an argument in which I had been tarred with the brush of an unpopular Opposition which would remain out of power until the Blair years.

I had ended up keeping the Chicken rather than leaving it the Road which I suppose I probably should have done; it was very arguably however a surprisingly logical consequence of the conversation which preceded it if you take it that a young Lady whom I have given the pseudonym of Mona Stammering on my CV Life History was in the process of admitting that all my own property had gone missing in the course of an Official laundering of serious familial problems in the previous few years.

It was the Summer of 1984 and this conversation had been properly extrapolated at the time it would have become apparent that the entirety of such personal property as I had owned and worked for in previous years had been stolen and it would not be until the last ten years that I surmised that I was apparently supposed to have understood that I had traded it in respect of some understanding about ignorance of sexual misdemeanour. What is I suppose of stating firmly that any individual whose dysfunctional family background had intermittently included such allegations against one or both parents and other near relatives, might innocently become forgetful about other details of his own personal history that it would really have been best to remember from the individual's point of view.

The truth was as I say that I had lost almost every relevant memory of my previous existence except that I wanted to go back to Sixth Form where the company had been very good: in truth it is probably the only place that I had found any sort of meaningful hearing in my entire life.

One incident that I have never mentioned was that at Christmas of 84 I had blundered off with someone's purse in a packed Carol Singing Concert in the Town centre. At the risk of sounding repetitive the fact is that I had been robbed of everything by people who had blackmailed my Father or found that I wasn't interested in selling sexual favours whilst still a minor, but it would quite tragically for me, be 2005 before I consciously realised this was the case. I had spotted a purse teetering on top of some poor old lady's shopping and I wasn't thinking of stealing it but picked it up with the idea of telling her to put it somewhere safer when I found I couldn't quite reach far enough to replace it and tripped as there was quite a packed moving crowd and I found myself jostled off balance, there were dozens of people looking and the main door was then nearer and easier to attain than the replacing of the Wallet. My legs then took off by themselves and embarrassing explanations that might not have been believed were avoided by the time honoured expedient of showing a clean pair of heels. When I had been involved in a drunken shoplifting incident in '81 it had been too deliberately misunderstood. It should have become apparent that everything I owned or worked for in previous years had been disappeared among some suspicious familial arrangements that sought to deceive Welfare Agencies: the fact it did not is entirely sinister and can only reasonably be said to betoken the malicious contrivance of guilty parties. That however isn't the only forceful and compelling remark I can make in Defence of my virtue. In 1982 one of the local youths had stolen a whole months's Unemployment Benefit from the Maisonette. This had been a crippling and deeply upsetting blow to any naive enthusiasm I may have entertained for living on the far side of Town from anyone I knew and I was told by a Police Constable when I reported it that it wasn't worth doing anything about it, that the State couldn't afford to prosecute shiftless down and outs and that I simply shouldn't talk to people who lived on Chantry Estate.

The strange thing is that I never really remembered that incident in the Carol Concert properly or in any fully conscious sense until late last year. Of course it depends on what exactly One means when using such words as recall, recollect or remember. It didn't occur to me at all for almost a decade, had only half occurred to me on about three occasions in the almost thirty years since, had never properly surfaced as an undeniable concrete memory until very recently and is interesting in that it probably also occurred after my putative home was turned over and picked clean of anyone's possessions by a person or persons who remain unknown to me. The fact the whole thing was over in less than a single minute with all the evidence disappeared into the Town's drainage system was probably why it didn't lodge itself in the way a memory usually does, it was just another episode in a long, nauseating and inexplicable ordeal that has never ended and has had few edifying diversions of any sort over the years. The reason why the fact of being able to recollect it in any way obstinately refused to surrender itself to conscious consideration does seem to betoken the awareness of a third party or parties, that the incident had in fact occurred.

The Solicitor Smythe refused to acknowledge any of this and if anyone deserves to be blamed for what has happened to my Life it is in fact himself. He was not only diametrically mistaken in principle as regards the fact I was innocently deranged and disturbed victim of Crime in 1985 rather than someone with a criminal shiftless nature or guilty memories he was struggling to hide. What is of the remark that he didn't care and looked on me as someone who could easily be spuriously victimised for a Lawyer's fee because he didn't seem politically correct. I'm quite sure he must have realised that the reason my Father didn't return to the Country was because he was involved in culpable intrigues relating to sexual misdemeanour and held onto the information with an eye to profiting from it rather than relating to me that there was more to such a suggestion than I had realised.

At least one Vicar/Teacher had been tacitly involved in laundering the fact that I had been robbed of everything I personally owned by 1980 though it might not be quite true to say that he was personally responsible: that was the responsibility of a Gentleman known as Wolfgang Powell the Head of year at Secondary School or so I believe. If he wasn't literally legally responsible he certainly knew that I had failed to appraise what had happened to me in familial terms and probably that I had lost any accurate memory of owning anything among other things, but as I say he seems to be the author of an apologetic remark saying that he lacked the confidence to take colleagues to task for guiltily failing to honour their social (and legal?) responsibilities and that he had succumbed to the temptation to behave negligently shall we say.

Something else has been happening other than my ignoring questions or comments about this incident (I had never noted or ignored any) and it really relates to the fact that I never learned to recognise the voices of my natural parents to a degree which I surely find as astonishing as anyone. One way of explaining it is that I never learned to recognise what is a human voice and what is not, as neither parent had honestly shown me one, and other near relatives had effectively learned to impersonate my sense of self when I was too young to have resisted. My argument is in scientific/psychological terms that I was told to forget, remember, and do certain things at a key point in the infant imprinting stage and that in 2004 when I broke down rather badly after awakening in a nightmare of recollection one morning a very significant part of my consciousness was still trying to obey those instructions. This was why I immediately described cognitive problems in that I started to realise not only that I didn't recognise the contents of my Mother's memory but that I arguably didn't recognise another human voice at all in anything the way I should be doing.

It has taken many years and the process of resolution is far from complete but I suppose among the significantly interesting conclusions of a psychological nature is that an unrecognised individual, my Mother's older Sister had not only learned as I say to impersonate my sense of self to a degree which is uncanny and frightening but had convinced almost anyone who knew me that I was aware of this and had significantly made conversation that was apparently mine.

I feel that it is a very interesting scientific point that most who undergo the psychological phenomenon of Primary Socialisation within a nuclear family environment, tend to assume this has to happen, that it is an essential aspect or element of everyone's psychological development, and that you must recognise the voice you're with because everyone does. Rather than having been involved with my maternal relatives in any friendly, understanding or conspiratorial basis, what was seen in this respect was rather symptomatic of the fact that my Father was too frightened and my Mother too drugged up and scheming to have been sufficiently concerned as to have prevented her Sister from in effect psychologically abusing me at key stages in my early development and I failed to recognise that she had been making conversation for me so to speak, until she collapsed and died in 2006.

It so happens to be the case as far as any personal feelings of guilt (or lack of them) are concerned that I did also surmise from 2005 that my Mother's family had effectively blackmailed several people associated with that Church, and that she and her older Sister had also robbed me (and my Father) of everything she could whilst I was an infant. I speak of a now deceased Lady Teacher and her Husband whom it seems had been buying Cocaine via the Kray connection and had been ripped off while my Mother and her relatives were trying to acquire the sort of money my Grandmother's people had in the late thirties, and the former especially was significantly associated with that Church through her senior position in an Associated School: among other things I am extremely sorry to hear that she has died within the last few years as she was among a very few who know the detailed truth about my history and good character. The fact seems to have been that inherent and implicit blackmail on the question of drug use meant that in effect they helped to launder the fact that I was a victim of Crime and goes a long way toward explaining why I have been misjudged by Legal Authorities and Solicitors. The only extenuating circumstance relevant to my Mother's actions is that in framing blackmail it is true that she was only copying my paternal Grandmother: in itself a fairly significant consideration I'm sure most would concede. In providing me with financial and material assistance since the early nineties I take the view that she is following unofficial prompts from people like retired Policemen who have realised much of the truth about our relationship and the laundering of criminal behaviour in her past and have suggested that it would be best if she didn't make herself responsible for further obvious misfortunes in any way.

The fact seems to have been that at one point this maternal Aunt Bernadette all too arguably sought to engineer his Murder at the hands of clumsy or not so clumsy London Mobsters and he then sought to embarrassedly cover it up during a complex series of events in the latter sixties. This is what is arguably responsible for a genuinely distressing state of cognitive disorder I have suffered as an Adult and it was largely why he moved to the other end of the Country by 1970. I didn't realise that many had mistaken her for a friend of mine, or even that she was familiar with my memory or that she had been listening for me until she was dead. People who knew her in Ipswich wanted rid of her for fairly obvious reasons in that what she had learned since the mid sixties had made her too good at finding out about the peccadilloes of the local Gentry; quite a few people were it seems concerned not to admit to knowing her and I really don't deserve to have been associated with the things she did and the situations she sought to contrive.

22 06 12

I had never painted an optimistic picture of my Father's attempt to posture as a respectable Teacher and always considered him severely psychologically troubled especially from the mid seventies. Anyone who gives out otherwise is party to a nasty piece of malicious deceit. However cleverly you try to put it going along with certain ignorances that were designed to launder allegations of sexual misdemeanour would have made me an Accessory and it was never a genuine option for me however convenient it may seem to suggest that it was. On both occasions I visited him in Thailand in the eighties he was enduring a very strange relationship with his so called Wife which could only boil down to her agreeing to a cover up of his past in order to obtain monies to pay a Mortgage. I didn't readily understand what was going on at the time, being really rather lost in confusion ensuing from prior chapters in this drama/scandal so to speak. On both occasions I had been invited under false pretences and had to spend what little money I had in finding my own accommodation. On both occasions I really needed a holiday that I was not going to get one way or another and I probably should have returned rather than put up with what became my Father's attempt to launder suggestions about himself at my expense. At the time I suppose I felt it was too late to have recalled how disturbing my Father's behaviour was, and that I couldn't afford to waste the money I'd spent on a Plane Ticket by just going back home which strictly speaking I should: this was money that I badly needed for other things like Dental Work and a Car Licence which I still don't have and need badly.

What is of the remark that the Thai Officials he had been involved with were significantly aware that the British Authorities (especially at a local level) had already been substantially involved in covering up scandalous elements of my Father's past and that they set out to profit from what they had managed to surmise, which it would seem was somewhat more than I had myself realised.

23 06 12

As far as the present situation goes I find that I am hopelessly bogged down in complex tasks of administering Paperwork. I had done a lot of work over the Winter and had managed to significantly turn the tide, but the fact it has significantly occasioned the somewhat premature demise of poor little Milly has reduced me to a rather tearful, shocked and dazed state which is to say nothing of the fact I believe I may have been given the wrong medication as part of a hasty cover up of negligence on the part of a GP's Surgery. She was on the point of needing intensive care, giving it to her was the only thing I really wanted to do and this is obviously apparent from the correspondence that I was involved in at the beginning of March. That she had suddenly become a cripple in the first part of 2010 hadn't entirely escaped me as I was rather irritated that she was no longer able to do all sorts of tricks for the children in a fresh neighbourhood as she had until very recently. She wasn't really that much trouble to keep happy, I had been sidetracked from remembering one or two simple things such as the fact I had some plastic sheeting which should have been used under her bedding and really felt I owed her the best of care. She had brought me a lot of positive attention once I had managed to get her out of a muzzle, she proved popular with parents of small children because she could be relied on to play safely, would sit for treats and fetch things, and with other dog owners who realised that she could be relied on to tire out their own overweight creatures quite satisfactorily.

As far as legal problems are concerned I recently went to see if I could find someone I knew briefly in latter Schooldays whom had qualified as a Solicitor but within days had succumbed to an overwhelming sensation that she has been significantly responsible for an all too arguably ill considered laundry Job on my Mother's reputation and that it seems to some extent to be a subject of conjecture and conversation among mutual acquaintances and other interested parties: in terms of making references to this person in a future narrative I am going to call her Jilly Hackit. What is of observing above all that she first seems to have erroneously and self importantly related to many that I was happy to have accepted that I was unworthy of a continued sixth form career in 1981, which perhaps interestingly in view of recent events was related to me by a Teacher with a Norwegian name.

28 06 12

I think it is obviously becoming apparent that the recent deaths of two close friends have evolved quite directly from this ill considered whitewash. Now I have to admit that I don't have all the facts to hand but it is to say the least, as far a I can see now, an extremely well informed piece of speculation that Chris Schonbeck was found hanged after being the victim of an itinerant copycat blackmailer from the same part of Ireland as my Mother, and Alastair Barrow I believe was the subject of Rape charges in the later part of the 80's on the part of an ex, whose real problem I would say was rather embarrassment at having become, the subject of close interest on the part of hordes of immigrants and common folk at a downtown address, who had significantly been stirred up by Jamie Cann telling them about how liberal and friendly local society was/is and so on and such.

Neither of these friends ever mentioned these matters in any direct way, and I am to say the least appalled at not having pieced these facts together before it was too late to have saved their lives. What is of the remark that Mr Cann at least tacitly patronised this Laundry Job instead of raising the question of school bullying which was what he had been asked to do, and that if my conversation had been properly followed many dysfunctional events and these two premature deaths would simply not have occurred. When these two friends did pass on I had scarcely gotten to the point of groping toward these separate conclusions about them and had only a vague idea that their separate relationship problems did seem to curiously ensue from what little was known about the marriage of my Grandparents. Chris Schonbeck's case is perhaps somewhat more clearly related to the events of my own personal history; it isn't widely known that he had run into trouble with a Rape accusation (or was it just an unwanted pregnancy), and indeed strictly speaking I'm guessing as among other things Anglo Saxon Males don't tend to discuss this sort of thing outside of immediate family, but it isn't really possible to read much else into his conversation in more recent years except that he was quite professionally snared into some kind of blackmail (I think his family made a payment) on the part of another Irish girl who was consciously aping the blackmail that procured my mother a financially desirable marriage. This younger Irishwoman has never been seen to do a single day's work in the thirty odd years she has been living in Ipswich; I furthermore know of at least two others who tend to accuse her of blackmail tactics and the fact that she has been claiming a massive rent on desirable house away from crime ridden Estates tends to suggest that she has acquired some undeserved favour and attention for some reason.

Jilly Hackit's Father is coincidentally a northerner who worked in social services and I'd say there was a fair amount of truth in the suggestion they were responsible for exaggerating the worth and virtue of a Labour Movement that was significantly divested of much of it's former influence in the eighties. He certainly seems to significantly be the Agent of misinformation in various ways which account for the manner in which the more ordinary working class characters around Nacton Road thought I was generally allied to Chris Mole when I was in fact desperate to get away from indigent petty criminals he was pretending to have some fellowship with: what is of the remark that to understand this properly One has to have an in depth understanding of the way that political activists predefine issues and viewpoints as politically correct or otherwise within the two party system as well as the way this tends to get reported.

What is of suggesting that of one or two who had been prompted to this suggestion I was happy with the presence of Chris Mole have arguably stolen a garden gate from a nearby premises.

Contrary to what, shall we say character assassins have put about concerning myself, I was not hanging around with and trying to ponce drinks from parliamentary candidates in 79-81 whilst distinctly under aged from some sense of shiftless irresponsibility. I had been offered/promised help with a seriously difficult family situation which seems to have mysteriously disappeared from the Official Record, had nowhere to live and should have been housed in my own right whilst I still qualified for further Education and before the infection of street life took hold. From September of '81 I tried to make it plain whenever and wherever I could that I had really been lied to and exploited by Labour Politicians but this did get largely ignored one way and another. They got too much help from local media for instance in trying to make themselves out to be the good guys on the side of the poor etc. The detailed truth as I saw it however was that they were as keen to get away from poor folk as they were to pretend to care for them. It's very strange because I haven't seen Jilly Hackit more than once or twice since 1981 and I was never that much to do with her. I haven't noticed her presence about but it seems unquestionably the case that her voice has arranged or has tried to arrange a resolution of one or two matters involving criminal behaviour and I simply don't know anything about it. I have to repeat that I definitely don't like making sensational and unsubstantiated remarks like these but they do seem to clear up or at least explain various misunderstandings.

It isn't really a good idea to be poor or sick! Or to have criminals and lunatics for relatives!

09 07 12

What is also it now seems of the remark that some new Officials at the then Suffolk College in 1992 made up allegations of my sending threatening letters to them because my Mother was trying to shape up to blackmail them though it could have plausibly been motivated by someone in the role of a jealous husband in that the Accuser was a fat shapeless greying bearded fellow whose Wife had taken some significant interest in my affairs: requests for some indication as to where and when these threats were made in the shape of copies of any such written threats were studiously ignored. I prefer to say that no-one has ever seriously made allegations about my being violent and what allegations do exist tend to point back at right wing rag tag and bobtail who were mistakenly haunting me and trying to foul up my prospects in the early eighties, at first sight on the basis that I was some kind of Levellerist rabble rouser, but behind that lay to some extent the more sinister influence of a less than thoroughly politically correct right wing underground. I suppose it has in recent years become more apparent that my Father's surviving Aunt had been systematically falsifying the appearance of being a conversational acquaintance and relating all kinds of deceptions about me being liberal and pro labour which were designed to gain attention with no responsible thought for the consequences and to launder her Nephew's pervy reputation. I had no knowledge of her presence or manipulation of my signal flow until recent years having only ever seen her on about a half dozen occasions and perhaps only once during the 1970's.

My purpose in saying this isn't to make some prurient or vain witticism but to point out that instead of confirming a few simple facts about my Father to a Solicitor in 1985, most relevantly that he was a suspicious freaked out nut, who hadn't less than tried to Prostitute me as a minor during the manufacture of highly questionable marital relations and that disappointed parties had robbed me of my last personal possessions, My Mother and her Partner had taken the opportunity to turn on me as I was assaulted by this giant reactionary Oaf of a Solicitor who instructed me to believe among other things that there were no such things as Paedophiles and they therefore couldn't have stolen any of my Property. After browbeating me into silence they then threatened me with summary imprisonment if I didn't fiddle the dole for another ex of hers which was the worst most dangerous thing they could have done since I was convinced Prison had ruined my Father's mind. Many years later of course it occurred to me that he was a onetime blackmail victim of hers and that she was trying to engineer his repayment for publicity reasons. All I really asked people at the College to do was to confirm to Michael Irvine that my Mother wasn't welcome to take any interest in anything that might have been of advantage to me and relate this story to him. What is of the remark that I have explained how unusually neglected, isolated and abused I was in various places and that this probably requires no additional emphasis here and now. It is unfortunate that at this time I did not notice the veiled but clear reference to the abuse of minors. As is still being extrapolated and elaborated there is no longer any reason to doubt that various things including the slash across my right palm point toward my having been savaged by my Mother's family in infancy and that the only interaction I seem to have had with her was in surrendering to threats of blackmail and violence so I never had any motive but fear in working for her ex.

The Letter from Michael Irvine The fact that I cannot find a Solicitor to talk to about this doesn't mean that I'm not seriously offended with it or that I haven't been so for the last twenty years. I did want to do something else than bother people for attention at the then Suffolk College. Learning things has a value and a justification all of its own but I really needed something of a domestic rethink before 1992 rather than seeking to make serious ambitions materialise out of nowhere and with next to nothing. My personal medical situation had been badly neglected and was quite debilitating really. What was of the fact that for one reason and another I had never had other than cramped bedsit accommodation when the English Lecturer Dumper could conceivably have endorsed the remark that no-one had ever taken any proper trouble on my account over acquiring anything like a better quality piece of public housing that I arguably should have had when I was sixteen or seventeen. I would have been much better placed to do something Educational in the nineties when I did find somewhere to live a bit more settled and appropriate and had one or two medical matters attended to. As I say I don't think that the remark that I was supposed to be a Danger to Staff added up to much other than that I had complained a bit too much about other things which strictly speaking I hadn't tried to do. It was always the case that the individuals responsible for making this remark about me had gone too far with it; I hadn't really said anything other in simple terms other than being threatened by odd youths did make one angry and I wasn't trying to make a big scene out of it or anything. It must have been apparent that I wasn't really optimistic about getting things done but had little choice but to try and make what I could out of the situation I found rather than senselessly berating any College Staff.

So much of the Town's Crime problem stems from the fact that Jamie Cann was trying to popularise his opposition in the early eighties and didn't find any of the conscientious middle class support that he was officially supposed to have had that was supposed to be happy with the Company of comparative illiterates and immigrants and in many respects could really only find rightists who were really trying to avoid such company among other things and circulating fake stories which took in a lot of people and have visibly contributed to all sorts of misfortunes including obviously the fact that someone who was within earshot of some of my invective about phoney Labourmania commenced a spree of vice girl murders.

It is a horrible oversimplification to say that Jamie Cann was following me and that a huge number of criminal incidents as well as serious and fatal road accidents ensued in the pro labour neighbourhood I had to live in from 2002-10 because Chris Mole did the same thing: he was a politically active BT Worker from out of Town (another Londoner I think). It is a glaringly obvious remark that the Prostitute killings of the last decade ensued from the consonance of the local political establishment with vice criminals in that what is of the remark that it seems my Mother and her family and friends had blackmailed and robbed at least several important Conservatives locally before I was ten years of age. Many have mistakenly thought I knew of it and/or was helping her but the truth is that I have only just realised this and begun to work out the details in the last few years.

It seems worth repeating that I was poor and quite sick when my Mother bamboozled some letter out of me to the then Tory MP Michael Irvine in 1992 which was an entirely pointless exercise which only really with hindsight had the purpose of laundering her blackmail of some of his more notable supporters in the early seventies: what is of the remark the College authorities and Mr Irvine the then MP should have ignored her. The main point that seems worth making is that when I first heard the name I clearly recognised the voice as being an intimate of numerous mutual acquaintances and I would contend it had become clear that I was nothing like the distasteful rabble rousing lefty weirdo I had been portrayed by certain of these Gentlemen below, who amongst other things had acquired a considerable influence over the direction of his constituency party. What is of the remark that given the fact that of the remarkable resemblance of two brothers to a much sought after War Criminal they (especially the elder) should have concluded it unrealistic to take an interest in Politics as a career: especially once he had forgotten to rat on a number of thieves. At the time this photo was taken in 1983 sometime I was awakening to the fact that he/they had apparently indulged in a fairly professional nobbling of my own career. I'm not asking people to draw immediate conclusions here but that specific allegation seems to be the subject of some subliminal discussion among those in the picture: I should probably try and get around to recapitulating in somewhat more careful detail what happened at my careers interview in 1981 sometime very soon.

11 07 12

The only other thing that should perhaps be added is that the reason I've only managed to hold onto about two acquaintances who aren't basket cases since the early eighties is because my Mother and/or her Sister has been conducting implicit blackmail of a notably impolite nature: it also accounts for much of my innocent confusion and upset which isn't some attempt at any sort of malingering or feigned ignorance of unfortunate events. Most importantly I would say with little reservation that it is the reason that relatively new Officials at the Suffolk College in 1993 invented a story about my sending threatening letters to staff in that she has been trying to blame others for my poor condition and perhaps thought too seriously about trying to blame the College Authorities for ignorance of Cannabis use. These Officials would not have seen the manner in which I was dumped on the College Authorities some ten years earlier as being relevant in that I would say that several Lecturers who had, have made certain subliminal comments to the effect that they had noticed that this was related to allegations of under aged sex on the part of a Teacher somewhere along the line. I could be wrong of course but I rather think for example that the diligent Linguist Peter Fox and others had made more detailed observations in that on balance, he seems to have noted that among the reasons I was moved through sixth form with such indecent haste was because a proper scrutiny of the realities of my affairs would have focused on such a scandal among the teaching staff at Copleston: these are retrospective observations obviously.

I should add that I'm really not sure whether or not it is a good idea to mention names but have decided on balance that individuals do deserve some credit for their attempts to justify their salaries it being the obvious case that the anonymous get none.

I was very grateful to many Teachers at the Suffolk College as the Institution was for many years, and never had any idea at all as to what may have lain behind a number of odd circumstances that led me to undertake so many part time courses. I was particularly grateful to Trevor Grimshaw without whose patience and understanding of my migraine ridden and black toothed demeanour this site would be a good deal less readable than it is.

I was not grateful to Robert Dumper who presumably noticed that there was something going on between the Royal Household and my Irish blood relatives in particular my Mother's older Sister Bernadette who collapsed and died in 2006: this as I say I have to presume, is something to do with encounters in the London Nightclubs of the 1960's. I would have said that Mr Dumper was motivated by some awareness that it would look bad if Irish indigents had been persecuted for using Cocaine when Princess Margaret was getting it routinely overlooked though I think there is rather more to it than that. I think he set out to pauperise me for her when he should have realised that I needed an honest and open start in life at age 16 and that I couldn't afford to help anyone else with any questionable understandings. It's important to understand that I have been stuck in a sort of psychological limbo in which I didn't recognise properly the voices of my near family all of whom had been involved in criminal activity to some extent, because I'd been moved around in infancy and looked after by different relatives and in later life didn't realise that they were each framing suggestions and conversation that it was assumed was mine without my really knowing anything of significance about it: I think the GP I had for many years was aware of this to some extent and also turned a blind eye with the aim of laundering the royal reputation.

It may sound difficult to believe but so do the stories about enslavement of down and outs by Irish gangs which have been prosecuted recently. It is much more the case that I was being forced to work illegally to pay off debts of my Mother's family as the result of official neglect and corruption in this manner than I was seeking to perpetrate fraud for my own self enrichment: this had never occurred to me at all. I thought that British people were basically decent and expected someone to notice this and say it for me. This didn't happen and it was about a year later that I started trying to make complaints to the Police: I was and in many respects still am a socially conservative small Town boy who had little idea as to why the Police would find reasons to ignore such goings on or even condone them.

I can recall the way that Mr Dumper had hinted that I should be proactively trying to manicure my reputation and seek to do things like voluntary work but it was a ridiculous thing to say to someone who had literally nothing, and whose opportunities he must have known had been fatally tainted by scandals he was not responsible for. I did think about this a lot and it was significantly why when I subsequently did, that it was as I say in seeking to explain that I was attempting to draw attention to the poor quality of Legal Advice I had rather than as a direct attempt to secure improved employment opportunities. I can recall throughout the eighties seeing on most weekday mornings the heel of a brunette with multiple sclerosis (it was encased in a steel frame obviously) who used to make use of the facilities and society at the College with a blind albino friend, and thinking well of course I want to help but you should really pick on better favoured individuals than myself. I think he really should have suggested that I try and get some time off on the Sick List and some treatment for my facial scarring which took me about another ten years.

I am still trying to work out what the significance is of various jumbled memories of the 60's which have only resurfaced within the last eight years and it seems a fair suggestion that some of them relate to the manner in which Murders and Gang fights erupted around the Kray Empire. I should never have been associated with or blamed for the voice of my Mother's older Sister Bernadette. That my Mother's family had been involved in some scandalous and illegal contrivances is perhaps best instanced by the fact that both my maternal half brothers are arguably trapped in unwanted relationships as the result of their trying to conceal and profit from the fact of such illegal chicanery.

16 07 12

The CV document on this site was for a long time the equivalent of a Weblog and I should say here and now that the reason I deleted certain references to Murder upon the death of my Father was not due to any local or historical scandals. I'll probably restore the bits I excised at some point but the essence of the matter is this. I'm not anything like the extreme sort of liberal character I have been made out to be though I like to think I'm highly principled, but the fact was that as my Father died he was saying several things. Perhaps the most significant was a belated confession to the effect that he was guilty of manufacturing a complete catastrophe quite deliberately which culminated in 2002 with the (perhaps not quite literal) destruction of everything I had worked to build up into a household from the nothing he had left me with in 1983, and I've only just gotten close to restoring it at the most enormous cost in various respects, this it now seems unquestionable was because the legal inquisition into the events of my Schooldays that I have never had any choice but to seek, would have exposed him to allegations of sexual misdemeanour. I didn't realise this immediately, and it was in fact several months before detailed scrutiny of the photos in his collection revealed this to be unquestionably the case: I had realised rather more quickly that he was accusing his Sister of killing his Mother.

At about the time of his return to the UK in the late nineties I had been involved in doing a little writing for Amnesty International on behalf of political prisoners and so on while I was making use of new technology to advance my arguments about the poor quality of legal aid in this country and happened to have expressed my condolences to the Israeli Ambassador on the death of Yitzak Rabin and I recall mentioning perhaps several things, foremostly that I found the shooting strangely familiar, and it was for instance the case that I had only just decided that I was in fact partly Jewish myself; I also pointed to the fact I had been or was being haunted by German Refugees and their descendants with apparently hostile intent which I presumed must have been on that basis though at the time I didn't think it could be anything serious.

I didn't tell my Father anything about this presuming him a penniless and discredited wretch but as he died I thought he was making reference to his having overheard such remarks and was suggesting that I should be more careful of writing to or about powerful figures and that I had perhaps contributed to the shooting of Jill Dando with plaintive remarks about the influence of right wing Germans in the post war era: this was of course no secret. I did seek to voice my concerns to the Security Services without going to the Suffolk Constabulary having found that they had simply lied about not receiving letters about my Father's death and having found them culpable generally corrupt and worthless over many years.

I remain absolutely flummoxed at this and simply cannot understand the motive for such destructive and iniquitous behaviour on their part unless it is the case they have been embroiled in the laundering of instances of sexual misdemeanour. I don't suggest for instance that it is the case that serving Policepersons were originally to blame but I do suggest that it did happen, that they have become embroiled in it, and is worth apologising for.

22 07 12

July 22: Was nothing but a torment without my canine shadow.

Far from being paranoid it makes more sense than one can easily think, in that very few people of my ability are not employed with particular loyalties of one sort or another and that my fulminating over the character assassination that disgruntled German refugees of one sort or another were increasingly obviously responsible for could easily have unwittingly been the motivation for a number of significant incidents. London has been the centre of the Spy trade for at least half a century and rather than it being strange that persons of immense influence should have taken an interest in some of the conspiracy theories I have mentioned as perhaps relevant to my own personal history in various Media, it is in fact precisely what One ought to expect, especially if One accepts that there may be some substance to one or more of these conspiracy theories which one tends to assume there must be. Taking care over the manner in which One addresses powerful individuals is of course always a good piece of advice. I tend to presume that Ms Dando was associated with wartime Axis powers and that the money which paid for her top notch Education came originally from Ultramontane sources. I could be wrong of course, but in either case I can think of perhaps half a dozen powerful Agencies (including our own security services) who might have taken a dislike to such a person or have assassinated her with the aim of putting across some kind of political message even discounting the fact she seems probably to have been a Cocaine user, which is true of about half the BBC and I gather that her family do not want any further investigations into her death.

On balance now I think it much more likely that he was referring to the Case of Jeremy Bamber who was controversially and narrowly convicted of murdering his adoptive family in 1985 on the basis of forensic evidence which has this year been shown to have been flawed and is entirely discredited. Given the fact that my Father had family from the same County I think it a highly meaningful coincidence that I have been complaining about more or less the same thing over the same period of time. The motive for fitting him for with the killings seems to have been the allegation that he was a greedy wannabee inheritor and I have a certain amount of trouble reconciling myself to the idea that this happened under the Thatcher regime as it is scarcely an ideological exaggeration to say that greed was it's leitmotif and greed was its watchword.

The Bamber Case in my view proves that senior Policemen can fabricate evidence leading to Conviction and Imprisonment for Murder and every citizen should be profoundly concerned at the suggestion that this is in fact true: there are now a few more remarks on my High School reunion page.

29 07 12
July 29th

I watched a startling programme about the World Aids crisis last week and noted a few frightening statistics that people really ought to be more aware of than they are such as the fact that one in three females in their twenties are HIV positive in South Africa. This was at around the same time that the British Daily Newspapers published a fourteen hundred % plus rise in the HIV rates in Greece. I can't help wondering if I'm not the only person who links this to official hypocrisy about what is often termed recreational drug use. The thing is that most of the Politicians I know are on the one hand trying to plagiarise the feelgood factor inherent to the exercise of liberal freedoms (for want of a better word) in their communities and on the other are pretending to do the opposite whilst fawning on existing power structures and powerful individuals of a generally Conservative description. Surely it's quite easy to see how this translates into millions of infecting accidents whilst people in poorer parts of the World seek to copy the lifestyles of the first.

I really don't feel there is any democratic mandate for the criminalisation of drug use and that it is largely a device to ensure the continuance of existing power structures, the maintenance of inequality and the worship of foolish human greed. In this respect I'd like for instance to see a little less in the way of conspicuous consumption on the part of characters like Kate Middleton and a little more in the way of worthwhile criticism and dialogue. If it were the case that the Government legislated for the benefit of the health of the population it would have outlawed the sale of tobacco many decades ago and I feel that the relevant truth is that existing power structures and interest groups seek to control anything that commands the interest of Voters and Consumers. The fact is in many respects and I say this without wishing to sound like a conventional leftist that the people at the top in the first world are increasingly irrelevant and easily replaceable and that something very much like the "withering away of the state," predicted by Marx has in fact significantly occurred in tandem with the digital revolution: the "Arab Spring" is in the big picture very arguably another symptom of this.

In saying that a lot of the talk we hear about Democracy is really just rhetoric and that different people mean all sorts of different things when they employ the term it might seem a good idea to consider the reality which is that a lot of freedom and genuinely meaningful Democracy only asserted itself when conservative power structures were shocked into accepting a whole new set of norms and values after WW2. It's far too easy to accept iniquity when progress brings prosperity, and for instance it should very much be remembered that the high minded 'Democracies,' of France and Britain stood aside and in the most abjectly shameful manner allowed the reactionary Wolves of fascist Europe to dismember and devour the Spanish Republic in the 1930's: so where was the high minded idealism that is supposed to have fashioned our civilisation?

I'm afraid consensus definitely does say that we should decriminalise the recreational use of drugs in western society. It also says that we should pay a lot more attention to the fact of establishing an effective rationale for dealing with the problem of disease in the second and third world and that more energy needs to be spent on seeking to establish some genuine international agreement about how the Oceans are going to have billions of tons of plastic rubbish removed.

As for the British being responsible for governmental hypocrisy about vigilantism throughout the 20th century it is a bit unfair really; there are thousands of documented cases of state ignored murders in latter 19th century Prussia and if One starts from there (which is probably a little more logical) it turns the hypothesis completely on its head. What I find particularly interesting is trying to look through the film and photographic record of the late 20th century to spot the precise moment when Tony Blair discovered that Walter Sickert was Jack the Ripper: what is after all of the unavoidable allegation that most of the British Opposition Governments in the 20th century were the result of implicit blackmail over the fact on the part of left of centre Statesmen.

Since Freedom of Speech is such a prevalent topic I thought it would be a good idea to provide an instance of how truthfully informing the public about issues can be a bad idea.

Following the Tsunami which trashed the North West Japanese Coast recently there was a big outcry about Nuclear Power in Germany which sparked off some assertions there that there would be no more Nuclear Power Stations because of the long term biohazard: sounds reasonable of course. Fact is that it also happens to be true that the Germans would simply buy more Nuclear Electricity from France which would construct more Nuclear Power Stations to meet demand. The moral of the story is that there are some good reasons why Governments restrict the flow of information to the general public and that stating a truth is often a means to disguise a general untruth.

30 07 12

I think in the first instance it is more important in a proper objective consideration of macrocosmic behavioural studies, to acknowledge that it is much more generally true that Governments in general have and do employed questionable use of judicial systems and judicial decisions to effect what the American Cognitive Scientist Noam Chomsky calls the "manufacturing of consent," than it is to try and apportion blame on a partisan basis: I have reproduced Mr Chomsky's recent excellent exposition around the subject as an example of the sort of depth of understanding that voters in the First World should be able to attain, and must attain if they are to be taken seriously.

Noam Chomsky's Recent Guardian Article About the Erosion of Civil Liberties in the Post War Era

I find the Article very relevant to my own contemporary experiences of there being no possibility of obtaining Legal Advice or Representation despite the tasteless media campaign being waged against the defenceless elements of our Society as costing the taxpayer significant fortunes in the maintenance of civil liberties. This as far as I can work out may exist on Paper but has no real meaning other than in forming the basis of such right wing polemics and in keeping unconscionable sycophants employed within the criminal justice system.

04 08 12

I do like the downbeat, informal sort of style of the London Olympics which makes a thoughtful and edifying contrast with the grandiose and spectacular shows that have accompanied recent Games. In a world of conspicuous consumption it is a reasonable idea to induce some conception of statistical reality among the thoughts and suggestions that tend to accompany the scrutiny of the fittest people on the Planet.

I didn't realise that the United Kingdom had such a strong team this year.

It is also a very interesting thought that most people who have witnessed this the Greatest Show on Earth on our own shores will probably never again see such an exhibition of national, and international aspiration and endeavour in their own lifetimes in this country.

24 08 12

For some time now I have been haunted by recurring images of my late friend Chris Schonbeck who was found hanged in the grounds of a local Hospital where he was supposed to have been being looked after. The story is recounted in some detail on my CV Life history and raises unpleasant questions about the manner in which the NHS is used and abused as a political football among other things. It isn't so much political angles and interests on the fact that have preoccupied me, but the simple fact that we had been friends for approaching thirty years. I don't have many friends left from the early eighties, at least none that I see regularly and it is probably a fair comment that this is because they don't like my Mother and her relatives, which isn't to seek to excuse my paternal family their faults far from it. Anyhow the point is that I am having recurring hallucinations of seeing his corpse hanging. It happens irregularly and without warning when I'm doing something and I suddenly have this eery feeling that I'm looking at him hanging somewhere and swaying slowly in the breeze. I go for a walk in the Park and suddenly I stop and freeze and he's there swaying gently from a tree. I go to the Town centre and look up and he's there hanging from the Town Hall Clock like an iconic testament to human failure. The last time I went to a Pub besides getting Assaulted by the landlady's boyfriend I was fixated with the idea that he was there hanging behind the Bar like a constant reproach. In respect of the fact that I really should have gone to see him when he was being detained there I have to reiterate that he was quite secretive, had been slumming it for years much like an archetypal middle class dropout and without him making some specific reference to the fact, I wasn't to know that he was unusually depressed: he could have called me from the Hospital and I'd have been very happy to have gone to see him.

04 09 12

I believe that a significant number of Agencies and various individuals have overheard the staff in the local Jobcentre inventing unpaid loans and taking money from my Allowances in recent weeks. In certain respects that is perhaps unsurprising as so many people have robbed me in recent years that anyone might just want to get in on the act so to speak. The catalyst for this seems to have been the fact I sent an email to them earlier this year pointing out that the fact they failed to pay monies into a Building Society Account some seven years ago had occasioned a financial collapse which cost me a great deal in subsequently being unable to obtain cheap subscriptions for key services. At around the time I was reluctantly planning my Father's funeral and hoping for some, "police action," against my half brother I was for instance having to use an enormously expensive mobile phone, but what had rather elicited the observation that the matter was worthy of some legal action and that I had obviously kept the paperwork for such purposes, was the fact it had also militated against the likelihood of my maintaining a basic Insurance Policy for Milly which I had been enquiring about at around the same time this catastrophic default occurred. What was of the fact that during the course of the last winter having become an exhausting litigious labour, I had managed to recall that this aspect of her care was among considerations of her state that I shouldn't have been diverted from, and (wrongly as it turns out) thought that I had escaped a disaster with her and that there would have been little difference between what she had cost in terms of medical treatment and the price of a covering Insurance Policy.

More does need to be said about some of the claims I have made about my circumstances in my CV Life History since the late nineties when it was commenced. From my point of view this mostly consists of reiterating that I did really say such and such at the time, and the fact I didn't repeat it endlessly, or with an increasing volume or violence that isn't easy to summon, doesn't mean that it isn't what I did actually say am saying or have said. I have to put that aspect of my life history in the context of the hopeless young men who were victims at the recent slave trials in which it became apparent that not only was it perfectly possible for Gangs of one sort or another to manage questionable claims with the relevant individual under duress, and with the ignorance, even compliance of Legal Authority, it was in fact possible to make the more neglected sorts of welfare claimants entirely disappear without any significant or official comment taking place at all.

18 09 12

Let's get it absolutely straight what I'm saying here.

I have no choice but to believe that the reason I have experienced so many problems in my life is because I am a descendant of someone who if he wasn't actually involved in helping Walter Sickert aka Jack the Ripper evade the Whitechapel Police at some point late in 1888 was certainly identified strongly with the failure to apprehend or prosecute him. Too little is known of the Windsors for facts about their relationship with Sickert to be at all a matter of informed debate to any but specialist historians but what is of the fact that it is quite undeniable that the film and photographic record shows quite clearly that my paternal forebears were specifically the subject of Hitler's abusive language. It seems just as undeniable that the two Sons of George 5th must have been embroiled in a plot to launder the Whitechapel Murders from the earliest age and that the Abdication of the elder in 1936 perhaps rather reflected the fact that he had gone too far toward a Nazi plot to rid himself of Mr Whiting by exposing his role in the matter of the Murders whilst having his own family's overlooked or laundered.

It seems to have been the case that when my paternal Grandfather was thinking of getting married in the early 1930s that it was spotted by a Girl from the Essex Suffolk Border that he simply knew too much about these unsolved Murders and his family had to concede the entirety of their fortunes to her in order to maintain the sort of silence that narrowly succeeded in maintaining the will to war. A discussion of social/sexual behaviour in the immediate post war era unavoidably seems to have infected my Father with some very curious ideas about sexuality which were partly an admission that something different and more constructive could have happened in dealing with a onetime rent boy who had become the Dictator of an aggressively assertive Nazi Germany. He gets in trouble with the laws of the 1950's in respect of bisexual activity and arm twists the younger of a couple of itinerant Irish Orphans into pregnancy and marriage within a year or two of being released from incarceration. She and/or her near relatives then generally finds out that his Mother had managed to blackmail the equivalent of a seven figure sum in today's money from his Father's family or some similar such story and they, get into trouble with owing money to the Kray Empire.

These two Irish girls want in on the action and he finds that the only way he can retain the affections of the younger my Mother is to play along, they get wound up and foolishly embark on a mini killing spree after having taken too many liberties, largely at the behest of my Mother's older Sister who had first tried to persuade them to Murder him. He eventually gives up on trying to politely get rid of this older sister by 1970 after presumably having laundered my Mother's role in these events and takes me with him to a Library Job in Northumberland when I lose any effective memory of what has gone before until 2004 when I succumb to a series of the most severe sort of psychological episodes during which various extremely disturbing memories reassert themselves.

I'm afraid that generally speaking he was disturbed and jealous of the numbers of unpunished criminals in the London of the sixties and must have taken the idea of grooming the younger of two half brothers for illegal sexual activity rather too seriously though their Mother seems to have perhaps been more enthusiastic about it and perhaps saw this as a means to escape the poverty racked mining community they came from.

I suffer from all sorts of problems upon returning to Ipswich in '76 which persist until the present day and it now seems to be the case that I had been the subject of all sorts of deceptions because I knew too much for my own good. That isn't a literal fact as I didn't consciously realise this until 2004 and subsequently but what is of observing that if one accepts these facts as generally correct that various parties had significant motives for maligning and misleading me and the Officials I tried to compose my existence with. I cannot overstate the extent to which this still leaves me frightened and incapable. One example is that it is only within recent months that I have realised that my Mother's sister had robbed and blackmailed people who were trying to buy Cocaine locally in the late sixties and they therefore unavoidably had a powerful motive for wanting to see me condemned as a criminal or lunatic, as a proper recollection of the events of infancy could very easily have cost them their professional careers. A Solicitor who should have identified me as an innocent victim in 1985 successfully destroys any chance I had of meaningful happiness by wrongly identifying me with the criminal scheming of my Mother's older Sister in particular. Among other things my Father's Sister is seeking to conceal the fact that she had hardly less than murdered her Mother before she could change her Will in 1975 and she continues to play the innocent while taking satisfaction in my legal troubles it being the case that no-one else who knew of it had a motive for making an issue out of it.

If the their is any substance to the allegation that my Father had considered pederastic activity somewhat to seriously between 1970 and 75 then it must be the case that all sorts of people who found it convenient that he should divorce my Mother in order that they could marry her to one Mr Taylor must have decided to launder the fact for their own purposes which rather makes a nonsense out of their subsequent Thatcherite respectability but before that they must have tried to take advantage of the fact that he was afraid of my Mother's older Sister. This would account for the evasive behaviour of maternal half siblings in their unwanted looking relationships and attempts to portray me a some kind of sex weirdo myself. I'm still not absolutely convinced of his guilt in that the fact he plotted ridiculous horribly destructive and deceitful actions and made remarkable accusations in 2002, and that they were obviously motivated by a desire to evade accusations and imprecations doesn't mean anything more in itself than that he was very seriously concerned about them.

Several other parties have significant motive for wanting to see me ruined before their roles in various events could become exposed: German refugees and their offspring; various Blackmail victims of my Mother's family; a Policeman's Son who kicked me around intolerably at School after 1976; a somewhat less well substantiated story about a Teacher or two who couldn't afford an honest discussion of sexual impropriety seems to explain a fair bit.

Perhaps someone somewhere can make a suggestion as to what I should do. The main obstacle to my making any progress with the problems I face is that almost everyone seems to think that there is legal Advice or Representation available to citizens and there is not. I have spent the last thirty years trying to find some and it is not available, full stop, period, end of story it doesn't exist. The only course of action open to me that I can see is to communicate the fact to foreign powers in the hope of at least embarrassing those who continually refer to Legal Advice and Representation that has absolutely no real existence whatsoever in this country except in that taxpayers have been cheated out of money for something I didn't get. Of course it would help if a Newspaper paid me for a story or the Government gave me a reward of some sort for being honest about Crime

20 09 12

As far as the recent altercation in the Spreadeagle goes I should point out that it seems fairly well substantiated now that a number of Officials and other ambitious individuals had tried to associate me with the fabrication of positive stories about the society in the poorer quarters of the Town, largely from a pro Labour viewpoint. When the Management of the Betting Shop too out a Court Order to get me out I think it was a friendly attempt to get me to hasten something I really needed to do rather than any other sort of negative comment but the fact is that I did tell the adjudicating Judge in a few relevant comments including the fact that characters had ended up simply forcing their way into the Flat to sit and smoke and watch me work whilst being surreptitiously plied with positive fictions about the neighbourhood and local democracy: one day there had been an incident when I ended up in a minor scuffle with someone in the entryway.

I had met this Mancunian bloke back in the late nineties and he had sabotaged a Motorcycle I was trying to get on the Road after telling me he'd help me with it and being unable to extract any significant payment which he had initially suggested he didn't want. A few days later he walked under a Bus and was severely hospitalised. Anyhow the point is that he uses the same Doctor's Surgery and I could be wrong but the GP seems to suggest that he may have been the/any headache that I might have seemed responsible for, in that many mistake me for a what one might call a Labour Agitator and throw their weight of opinion behind my conversation as result: the fact this altercation occurred in the doorway of the Pub seems to substantiate such a theory quite well. It's interesting that he seems to be something of a refugee from Manchester drug wars, and that the incident led to Police, especially a deceitful white trash WPS by the name of Jennifer Powell, shabbily lying about everything. It is possibly quite a fair comment that they were trying to cosy up to the presence of Ben Gummer in feigning to be conscientious and respectable pro law'n'order conservatives, and that Manchester has just witnessed the Execution of two other female Police Officers; what is of the remark that at some point in the latter nineties I had pointed out that he made a very compellingly plausible suspect for the Karen Hales Murder; among other things at the time he did live less than a mile from the scene along a sheltered route and matched the photofit quite well. I had seen him about again on Nacton Road some years later when his injuries had secured him a comparatively desirable ground floor Flat near Copleston School and had taken pity on his apparently infirm condition, at the time of the altercation in my front door I had an old cd player of his that I was looking for some cables to go with for him: I have since returned this to him obviously. At the time I was doing something or other you see and I just wanted to make something of an issue out of people wandering in as for example things had gone missing from outside and it was likely true that at around this time I was half overhearing the suggestion that Lorraine Thorpe had lifted a minor sum of petty cash from inside which may be a significant contributory reason as to why she seems to have explained her role in the deaths of Rosie Hunt and her Father Desmond very badly.

The observation that it's a fairly difficult matter to put one's finger on or substantiate to any extent which is particularly self evident but I do think some badly phrased electioneering gossip played a role in his bad luck and that of the family he was trying to keep on the rails in 2006-7 may not seem directly related to the Spreadeagle incident but I do think it was definitely true that different political candidates had overheard some discussion of his situation as for instance, I was atop on of a row of busy shops in between three Housing Estates, and he had moved out of his Wife's a few hundred yards away from me on one side to stay with a mutual acquaintance a few hundred yards away on the other so many had overheard this by late in 2008 and much of it at the local Cafe. He had managed to get a house nearby before moving to the downtown address where he died. I had been busy with my own Father dying obviously and hadn't taken that much detailed notice of the precise manner in which he had lost control over its direction: his children hadn't really seemed that wayward and they were making some attempt to look after it and him though they were short of money obviously. It was probably a fair comment that I did need to be more careful of what I was listening to in the months before and after my Father died but Desmond wasn't that much in the way of fair game for negative comments. He was entirely a victim who didn't need among other things to be associated with an inappropriate political faction and it's difficult to imagine a more inoffensive and innocent character: it was a much better idea for him to be seen to be in the company of Chris Mole and Councillor Edwards that with the Tories.

If you're someone who's made a careful scrutiny of my web spinning for local reasons you've probably realised that if at some point I felt like double talking to the Constabulary about the Hales Murder that I hadn't seen relevantly or meaningfully any further into the then past than the Perry mason Murder of '92. If the Mancunian in question had overheard that remark it could have been a contributory reason why I found myself meaningfully pondering over the Bank of Cameras in the Pub while I was thinking about trying to orient my memories in a familiar place.

I suppose as far as taxpayers are concerned and the national debt is of some importance that I have to proffer that the trouble I took over explaining how I saw the evolution of such tragedies to this local Judge was a worthwhile endeavour which I'm fairly sure is what taxpayers really wanted from me. I have to suggest that compared to a lot of people who think they're smart like Lawyers and Politicians who ask people to consider that they are making a worthwhile contribution to society and the nation in the process of really doing little more than toadying to existing power structures and exploiting fears about Crime for their own short term benefit I have elucidated much that is of value to the Community.

26 09 12

My Apologies to those who've left messages about for me on Twitter and Facebook as so far I've done little with these programmes beyond registering them. Since I was first personally taken by the potential of the Internet and managed to acquire a certain limited ability to compose web pages I've focused on certain things and keeping a Computer system running while moving home in difficult circumstances has been a big enough problem to monopolise my time all by itself, without any consideration of my incomprehension of a certain pointless local diversion or the ambition of getting personal and familial matters sorted with administration in good order.

So I will have to beg forgiveness for this inadequacy and can only presently undertake to say that I will probably get around to it sometime fairly soon. I cannot allow any more immediate delays in the matter of formal Legal Representations I have been working on and this will have to take priority unless something remarkably unusual should happen such as my coming into sufficient of a fortune to make a few Lawyers and Judges jump to attention.

29 09 12

I see there are new rumours about Obama's parentage circulating, this time he's the Son of a onetime Pornographer James Ray Jones or something.

08 10 12

My mind is stuck in a sort of loop that continually replays the journey I took with my Father to Northumberland in a Removals Lorry late in 1969. In many ways I have extreme difficulty in thinking about anything else because it was the point at which my world turned into a hell: it also raises lots of legal questions in that no-one has ever told me the truth about what was happening to him or about what he did.

I can't stop it from happening but I can refuse to get involved in any of the plots of various individuals who contributed in different ways toward that event.

It seems clear that he did have some kind of run in with the Krays that I had been witness to and wouldn't recall until 2004; it also seems clear now that he had persuaded school authorities that I knew of it in the late seventies and a disastrous trail of concomitant misunderstandings thereby ensued.

06 11 12

In respect of this and of the fact that the suggestion that School Authorities didn't want to discuss sexual abuse and the grooming of minors allowed my Father slip past any conscientious Welfare Agencies. If I've mentioned somewhere that I thought my friend and acquaintance Pip Wood knew about this I suppose I should apologise and suggest that the relevant fact was that it was a conversation of sorts that he had to some extent witnessed without being aware that gossip that was only approximately about myself included some such shortcoming, among those who were supposed to have prevented such shortcomings.

18 11 12

In respect of the remark that my Father did suggest in about mid to late 2006 when I started seeing him again, in terms which were both surreptitious and vague, that my long term problems were owing to a misconception or misconceptions about the role of the Royal family in framing legal authority. I obviously was not amused given the obvious observation that the first outstanding noteworthy fact about my situation was that the Monarchy had failed in its role as had every source of legal authority. Of course One doesn't like leaping to conclusions about what one is hearing especially when One is still in the process of working out the consequences of discovering that One's entire close family had all kinds of grubby and dangerous secrets, but what is of stating that a number of parties seemed to agree at the time that my Father was or had been involved in some kind of personal exchange with ER. As matters stand at the present time, if it is to be considered the case that they were involved in some sort of exchange which has been a factor in the consideration of relevantly interested parties who tend to have thought they were observing something respectable, I have to stand by the remark that perhaps the largest element of this exchange was really that they both knew too much about Walter Sickert's alibi for the Murder of Mary Kelly in particular: accepting that of course in turn implies general acceptance of the historical perspective on other key events of the 20th century which I have theoretically outlined.

If my Father was having some sort of explicit conversation with the Queen and or other members of her family then it obviously stems in some respects from the fact of what happened in the thirties and earlier forties of the last century. What is of the observation that the earliest known Film of the Queen with her nuclear family does in fact tend to substantiate what I have said above about the political position of my Great Grandfather and what being of the remark that doing the dirty on him as an accessory to the Ripper Murders is all too arguably clearly what is being subliminally discussed in said Film. I have to say that if anyone thinks I was a party to such a conversation I must protest my innocence and assert that I have never been party to any such understandings about Murders historical or otherwise. It is a fairly simple remark that there was really no such thing as a 19th century State that had no association at all with vigilante killings, and the notion that Great Britain was really that much different should probably be viewed as an invention of bourgeois novelists and ideologues looking at the world through rose tinted spectacles.

What is of the remark that it so happens to be a corroborative circumstance that the behaviour of three separate step families can coincidentally be explained by reference to the suggestion that my Father was involved in some sort of visible exchange with the Queen which as I say I didn't notice until around 2007. I didn't quite make the conclusion that if this was true then the nature of their exchange significantly included an element of mutual blackmail and of course explains why he had so much luck in concealing evidence of his unusual sexual preoccupations. From what I've heard the Queen does know about a lot of crimes that have gone unpunished over the years including the fact of decorated serial abusers and of course it would be fatuous to expect her to act as a Police Agency but this is a much more specific sort of allegation than that there are a lot of Sex Offenders in public life, probably more than most had realised twelve months ago.

At this point I really need to get it across that although I didn't quite consciously realise it at the time, my belongings such as they were had been seized by a friend of my Stepmother's Son Guy in late '79 or early '80 because I would not sleep with, perform intimacies upon, or otherwise scratch her itch. I always said that they had both propositioned and strictly speaking stolen from me when the inevitable refusal arrived, but it is only within recent days that I have consciously recalled the manner in which this was said to me. If I didn't realise that specifically at the time, it was probably because what little hearing as I had was among other things the subject of invasion and plagiary on the part of said Magistrate's daughter. The Gentleman in question a Mr Cornforth may have less than half realised what he had said, and it may well be the case that he didn't realise that I hadn't realised what had been said to me at the time. There are perhaps several salient observations worth making and one is the fact that just as I have always maintained matters were certainly already seriously untoward if these sort of remarks had been fabricated and conveyed to me second hand. Surely most would do as I seem to have done, in that among the reasons I didn't hear this at the time is in simple terms the fact that One would expect decent conversation to have forestalled such an exchange: without an appropriate explanation I didn't consider such an eventuality plausible enough as it may seem to a third party that I should or would have. I took the view that my Father needed to confront his own problems more honestly and when he had told me he wanted to marry again off the cuff I didn't imagine that he was thinking of doing anything other than leaving me in his Sister's spare room for the last two years of my mandatory education. I could hardly remember half the strange scenes I had been through since I was five and neither did I have any explanation as to why Schooldays had become so farcical and unpleasant. The only conscious thought I had was that such a move was only obviously going to be a fatal blow to any chance I had of making anything out of my schooling: time has borne out the suggestion that there were too many unexplained voices effecting some familiarity with me.

What seems to be of the remark that following a failed? attempt to groom a minor for sexual activity between 1970 and '76 my Father was looking for other opportunities. The fact that this should be viewed as fact stems from the observation that he and his Sister were pretending they had no problems. Any genuine concern for me or my problems should have taken the shape of acquiring accommodation that would facilitate my education instead of sharing a bedroom with him which I was still doing at seventeen. This was especially disconcerting in that he did evidence severe symptoms of abuse including wetting the bed and grinding his teeth. When he decided to marry again to Ms Cormack she and her family appear to have been told by my Father's Sister that I knew all about his ultraliberal views and was fully in consonance with them. The truth of course was quite the opposite in that I was in fact completely dismayed by his grubby appearance and perverse preoccupations which I believe included corresponding with persons associated with the Paedophile Information Exchange. What I have to now infer was significantly what had happened was that I had lost track of anything to do with my education whilst FJK impersonated me and rather than being able to indulge in normal School life had fallen into the company of petty thieves and criminals as my Father continued with a pretence that he was not one. At about the time of his marriage to Ms Cormack I would now say that he had been told that he was bluffing and that he knew perfectly well he wasn't going to inform on anyone as he couldn't afford to expose his recent personal history. What is of the observation this makes me entirely a victim. If I'd been prevailed on to filch one or two items at this time as a display of macho courage I didn't keep them and obviously showed no liking for such company or behaviour in subsequent years. There is no good reason this hasn't come to the light of official approbation and the only explanation of any sort has to assume that these adults wanted to go about grooming individuals for illegal sexual activity.

If One accepts that ER and my Father were involved in such a mutual blackmail over the issue of tall Walter's alibi for the Whitechapel Murders and the concomitant furore over esoteric knowledge of the Ripper phenomenon as WW2 broke out then One has as I say a good explanation for the semblance of some conversation in the 1970's. If you accept this was the case then one has to look at the fact of the assassination of Lord Louis Mountbatten in 1979 and suggest that if the story about Mr Whiting is in fact true then one has to infer that various members of the royal family have different perspectives on it and that at the time of the assassination would have been discussing the fact to some extent with different individuals having differing views. It may not come across as readily comprehensible to many younger readers who have never heard of Louis Mountbatten in understanding the presentation of social messages involving the royal family but I suppose the point is that he was the strong man of the Windsorian Court in those days if such a remark is a fair comment on anyone's particular role, an adopted German great grandson of Queen Victoria through his maternal grandmother her daughter Alice he was very much the guiding light to Charles who soon after married the doe eyed teenager Diana Spencer and whose public behaviour since might be said to betoken some lack of purpose, courage or guiding ideological theme: it's an inescapable comment that whatever One should happen to call it, that this country was a country in which I was being rather dishonestly told that I would have to engage in Acts of Prostitution for the resources to pursue an Education. A lot could be argued over the meaning of various details but in essence the point is that such a remark has the quality of being generally true. Welfare and Social Security Legislation was very different at the time and on the basis of what had been said then I should really have been housed in my own right at age sixteen if perhaps on a short term semi supervised basis. In saying this wouldn't augur well for the future I should suggest that it perhaps wasn't the first time that unfortunate occurrences associated with the Anglo Irish question had occurred near in time to the fact of familial problems. I had not ever taken an unusual interest in the fact of the flaring up of contemporary Troubles that had accompanied the fact of the formal separation of my natural parents as what had happened between them didn't really allow for my taking any kind of intimate interest in my maternal connections but in general consideration of the matter it foremostly occurs that the fact of the bloody Sunday massacre in late February 1972 I believe happened some weeks after my Grandfather died and it also being the case that in recent weeks I have moved to the definite conclusion, which hasn't done much for my state of mind, that the old boy had in fact to say the least accused his Son my Father of in general terms being a Pervert though it wasn't a remark made in isolation.

It's one of the more obviously significant capacities of the Internet that the details of such incidents can be checked against authoritative sources like Wikipaedia online but the short and the tall of it is that the Bloody Sunday massacre involved the gunning down of a total of fourteen civilians by British soldiers and despite various enquiries over the years the Government has failed to establish that Demonstrators were carrying anything more hazardous than a pencil sharpener or penknife.

Interesting that the current sex scandals in the media limelight occur concurrent with my elaborating these observations: Savile was very much a contemporary of my Father. I think it a rather better idea to make a fuss out of the fact of the state of Children's homes than pandering to every teenage girl who's been groped backstage since the mid sixties. There's going to be a lot of talk about the inevitability of double standards when middle and upper class Legislators make Laws the Individual finds out the State can't afford to keep: this is what seems to have been said to me between 1978 and 1985 if rather indirectly. There are many interesting talking points perhaps foremostly is the fact for instance that if it were known that Childrens' Homes were any good that too many parents would give up on looking after their own offspring. I am afraid that some of the reports about paedophile groups at high level have some significant substance and allegations that some victims have been murdered whilst pondering on the effectiveness of whistle blowers also seem well founded: the Journalist Eileen Fairweather seems to have done some meaningful work around the subject and it's quite easy to find relevant Internet Articles.

19 12 12

There must surely be certain flaws in the perception of Sir James as a serious sort of Offender if his detractors don't get heard until he's dead. I think many of the pictures of him in later life like that above tend to substantiate that he may have perceived something more seriously "rotten in the state of Denmark," than his own experiments on the youthful institutionalised of post war Britain. The fact he was a serial Lecher in a line of work where it was arguably almost inevitable doesn't quite make him a monster especially in view of the fact that he did significantly turn his talent to the general good and I have the utmost of difficulty in believing he had got away with performing anything like a violent rape. The present furore could easily be said to be as indicative of a a broken and failed legal system and/or a badly appraised post war value system as it is of anything. Lets not forget that when I was a child and Savile was a young man on prime time Saturday TV a vast amount of Victorian or even Mediaeval social legislation had only just been repealed. This had framed a society where pair bonded couples held society together in terms of framing anything like the question of national identity. The consequences of repealing the legal framework which directed this in terms of things like forbidding 'homosexual' behaviour can arguably be considered to be more profound than might be considered, and the relevant point is perhaps that in examining and questioning the Law as every society does to some extent, we don't have anything like such a hard and fast norms and values we did as a pre war society. It certainly is very arguably rather strange in a world where justice is really little more than an abstract concept and so many suffer so much comparative misfortune to see public figures being arraigned for perhaps little more than thirty year old gropes: as I say we need better information and what has been publicised could easily mean various differen6t things. It may be somewhat more contentious to suggest that perhaps as many don't recall their encounters badly as numbers of those who do, and we don't hear from them because there is not so much prospect of any reward for such a comment. In general I feel that the religio-moralistic world view implicit to the suggestion these recent actions are particularly worthwhile is a rather fatuous and unrealistic one and that it is too difficult to tell whether the recent round of news stories about, shall we say personal morality for want of a more precise phrase, really reflects the fact that of any sort of righteous spontaneity lies behind them, rather than for instance the suggestion they are in fact symptomatic of the character of a poorly adjusted and badly functioning legal system: only a more detailed and holistic evaluation than that which has surfaced in quite odd looking circumstances should in my view be taken as reliable information. Apart from the sensational subject matter one has to suppose that what is really being shown if involuntarily as far as the moral thinking of the Ministry of Justice is concerned, is the extent to which people have seen the world through the lens of the TV camera in the last fifty years or more and it being relevantly the case that most of the more shameful stories seem to be connected with the issue of preferment: I was never particularly interested in youth culture and never took an interest in any of Savile's programme's. On Saturdays I'd watch The Pink Panther and Dr Who always ignoring Jim'll Fix It though I did watch Top of the Pops

Whist it seems more American than British I don't see that the fact of paying out a few sums in damages from the Savile Estate to some of those who haven't done so well out of their encounters with this popular figure, or have good reason to feel aggrieved by them should be such a big deal. It is a difficult matter to evaluate without having the details of specific alleged assaults but it seems probably a fair comment that One has to make allowances for the fact of the sort of work that Sir James was doing as well as in respect of the historical context of hi life and times. It probably has to be supposed that many will be very justified in saying that they simply did what others were doing.

Actions like tearing down his tomb are not going to achieve anything much except a tarnishing of the national reputation and represent an exercise in moralistic knee jerking which is thoroughly suspicious. I find in a lot of characters who have managed to get themselves employed in justice or security that they are simply individuals who had taken it upon themselves, or been prompted to have their reputations manicured at the right time and I'm afraid that it often betokens dishonesty rather than moral fibre. It's why I oppose the Snooper's Charter in that I simply don't believe that such professional liars are capable of making worthwhile judgements about the behaviour of citizens who don't routinely misrepresent themselves with the explicit intention of deceiving others.

What makes my own experiences so fraught with potential for hazard is the fact that in 1985 a Solicitor simply denied I had been the subject of such deceptions, propositions and thefts; he was large , poisonous and entirely unconcerned about anything but imposing his own reactionary political perspective without any regard for any other fact whatever. What is very much of the remark that it is an entirely fair comment, that he perhaps more than any other individual still living who had been involved in related cover ups and deceptions, is to blame for my ruined health and career prospects to say nothing of the spiralled local Murder rate and millions of pounds worth of calculable inconvenience to local taxpayers: it's very tempting to suggest that his awareness of his criminal behaviour underlies much of the confused and disastrous chain of events that seemed to erupt around me at Nacton Road from 2002.

This may be of some interest to neighbours of his (the Solicitor Smythe) at the bottom of Woodbridge Road, especially those who do have children for example.

The thought prompts me to recall how I irritatedly and uncharacteristically threatened to punch a Thai Solicitor who started going on at me about the Law once I had related that I didn't get anything in the way of Legal Advice and Representation and knew next to nothing about who had burgled the address my Father had abandoned. I had thought he was warning me about not getting involved in any promiscuous partying as part of defending a marriage that I had alleged was to say the least flawed but I have to suppose now that he was trying to agree with the suggestion I had broadly made that the old boy had gotten several screws loose in the estimation of almost anyone who knew him. I hadn't myself chosen to go to Thailand to meet people who broadly speaking identified themselves as liberal and respectable and would have much rather spent the time or the money with females I already knew at home if I'd really been that sort of person.

This is unfortunately how I will always remember my Father! A sick deranged individual living a fantasy world of his own and entirely divorced from any sort of understandable social reality. The picture was taken a few days after I arrived in Thailand for the first time. The Solicitor Mr Tick (parasite by name and parasite by nature?) had apparently shut up when I told him I'd punch him if he didn't cease making derogatory comments about me at around the time the picture was taken. I had come 8000 miles to see my Father and there was no other portrayal of him as other than seedy and disreputable at absolute best as far as any effective sort of intent or purpose was concerned. Since his funeral and after considerable anguished searching of my long term memory I have to conclude that the Lawyer in question opted to react to an impersonation of myself as effected by one of my Father's younger Cousins. He turned up at the funeral and it was clear that he and his brothers had made a big mistake in their remote evaluations of what their Cousin was by the mid seventies. I had at the time only a vague idea that they existed at all but it became apparent at the funeral that they had been making all sorts of ludicrous portrayals and contrivances. The fact that the youngest was a Cop probably accounts in general terms for the unutterably absurd and contrary portrayals of myself that have apparently been palmed off on the local Force.

The bloke on the right was someone just hanging around on the Waterfront looking for interesting company who seemed to be symptomatic of some unusual general interest on the part of local society in the unusual spectacle he presented: I forget the name but he seemed a decent enough sort. Second from the right is Sukhum a local odd job man who lived near the house that my Father was having built and third is Liverpudlian Dave another expatriate who worked on Merchant Shipping as an Engineer. The other Ferang (foreigner) is Prachuwap, I believe that's a surname and he is the more interesting of the group in general terms. He was said to be a bigwig in the local Education department and seems to have presided over a conversation whereby Ken my Father had been allowed to pick up various of the more Official sort work contracts available to a University Graduate. I believe it a fair comment and a generally accurate observation that he had ignored what was in some ways an obvious question mark about his personal history in relation to some apparent unhappiness with life in England. He probably found that anyone who might have wanted to make an issue out of a perhaps effectively irrelevantly liberal reputation from his more youthful years were easily moved to unconcern by the fact he had married a Thai national which under any circumstances was a highly unusual sort of alleged fact insofar as photos clearly suggest he was unwilling; though it was very much the case to judge from the state of him in the late nineties when he returned to the UK that the semblance of familial interaction he had contrived wouldn't corroborate, appearances of genuine respectability had fallen through and he wasn't getting them.

Several things are important in evaluating what was said here a few years later and it's quite an interesting remark among a series of suggestions about social/sexual behaviour/interaction that I never did for example confide anything that might have been accurate conversation about any genuine romantic interest that might have existed to either parent.

From my point of view his parenting was best forgotten and not only was he worth effectively nothing but neither was I so I there was no apparent significant financial motive for any unusual interest in either of us: there was no point in reiterating the truth about his immediate reputation as an adult and as a parent. My comments about a serious misapprehension and lack of meaningful legal representation at home iro a charge of burgling my own putative home were something which has probably eventually been believed if they were considered with any real skepticism at the time. Recent events ensuing from my Father's death tend to suggest they have foisted some faulty interpretation of events into the superficially observable exchanges with Jack Whiting and his family. If I heard any references to the Law at any point from the time I first arrived in Thailand on a visit as pictured I only repeated that strictly speaking I had been refused any intelligence about the Charge, been told I was an unworthy fellow due for Prison if he didn't shut up and plead guilty, and had any assertions to the effect I was being badly misjudged and that the situation was being badly misjudged had been clumsily shouted down by Mr Smythe.

25 12 12

Here's the News Articles from the local Rag about the killings of Rosalyn Hunt and Desmond Thorpe for easy reference so that you the individual can make some judgement about whether or not they ensued from ignorance of my half brother's behaviour which is at least superficially informed. I do concede that it can take a lot of thinking to agree with some of the propositions and hypotheses I have advanced, but in respect of the suggestion that it was a quite deliberate sort of negligence in investigating the manner in which my Father died that led to the bad tempered fracas in which Rosie perished and the ill considered disposal of someone who had heard about it: I don't think it's at all in question not only that this was significantly the case but that it was largely the whole truth. Most of the ordinary people who will have appraised this were residents of the Nacton Road shopping parade neighbourhood.

Most telling is the fact that the only person I did not know was Paul Clarke and it doesn't take a great feat of imagination to work out that these were very poor people who had heard that my half brother had all too arguably shaken my Father to death in the Hospital and with the help of Police who deliberately ignored or lost letters of complaint about this and the fact he had simply taken what he wanted without any regard for my Father's Will or for that matter anything except making violent demands and that the same thing happened again, and then again.

This picture below also comes from the local Rag and is demonstrative of my suspicion that this Gentleman and his colleagues were making roundabout comments and observations arguably as a response to remarks I made immediately after the Murder of Karen Hales, which is in general about the remarkable figures relating to the increase in serious crime and homicides within the last thirty years in the sort of isolated urban centre where it should be easy to keep crime rates down to well below the national average: isn't that the case!

Of course it could be the case that I'm just imagining all these people look as if they're doing an impression of my now deceased Hound but I think there is a significant something in the suggestion: it is perhaps more obvious in the case of Ms Thorpe than with Detective Lambert.

11 04 13

That may as we observe, seem a bit remote but what is, or rather has been of noting certain facts about the recent Prosecution of certain individuals for the Murder of Stephen Lawrence including the fact it has been going on behind the scenes for approaching twenty years in tandem with the rise of the Internet. What is of having rather more to offer unfortunately in the way of a theory to link these two murders than some vague notion that the individuals responsible for the sickening murder of Ms Lancaster had been semi professionally prompted to attack Weirdos. What is now of having to accept that whatever any other feelings about the matter may happen to be, I have been strongly associated with the person of the Queen during the course of my lifetime. Among other things this explains why it was that prior to the age of twelve when I began School in Suffolk under the auspices of Herr Heinkel I had been the centre of favourable attention despite being notably dirty (and black toothed) and uncared for: also the subsequent unwholesome exploitive interest of Politicians.

So in itself the fact I went to School in the neighbourhood of the Lancaster Murder, have been considering some fairly serious remarks about shall we say social ideology in view of unspoken comments made by various people I knew there, could conceivably account for such hostility in the minds of youthful impressionables. I have been thanking of travelling there to see if anyone I knew in the seventies was about since 2006 and it could with just a little stretch of the imagination have been anticipated by rightists who may have discerned some motive for shadowing me.

Of course that may seem a little paranoid but what is firstly of suggesting that this is how information gets around in the Internet age so it's not such a long shot as older minds might assume given also the fact that some people have little better to do than circulate cheap ideologuery. What is secondly of pointing out that inferring some link between the Borough of Ipswich and the Lawrence family has been at the back of my mind for some time now. I suppose it's the fact that as I understand it Stephen was to mix metaphors a bird of a given stripe, he has been portrayed as keen to develop and assert issues of personal respectability and took part in affairs at his local Church: what being I suppose of the partly relevant observation that most children of immigrant families especially those who are involved with the lower end of the labour market and/or are not ethnically European, tend to exist more or less as openly allied to the Labour Movement: people do of course vote Tory for other than broad economic reasons.

It's very difficult to generalise without more accurate facts about Stephen and whilst I realise that it's almost inevitable that someone will find cause for offence in my musings no matter how much care I take over expressing facts as I see them, I also have to say that if I don't deal with certain very serious matters it is only a question of time before someone with less conscience, ability and motive to achieve resolution from the perspective of public concern for order will simply do so and it is in fact best that I say now what seems to require expression

I suppose it's that picture of him that has become quite famous over the last two decades that first tended me to think the Lawrences have Ipswich connections which isn't surprising if the allegation for instance that the Borough has a higher proportion of West Indian citizens than anywhere outside London. God only knows that it can be difficult to talk about the issue of ethnicity if an issue it is, without saying something contentious or foolish. I tend to think however that the photo shows what one might commonly expect, ie that shall we say less tasteful and responsible individuals seem to be in the process of seeking to conceal themselves amongst, within and about his own.

My CV Life History narrates that a friend related to me in about 2005 that the silence following an odd Murder I had heard about in '83 had been perceived as meaningful in relation to remarks about my own career and possible political ambitions, and interestingly occurred at around the time my Father left the country with an unceremonious and unscheduled semi-permanence; leaving me as I have in fact as far as partial memories allow, consistently asserted, with medically hazardous free dental work, a bag of trash and the rags I wore for personal possessions and as time would show, an entirely fictionalised set of memories of how I came to be in a long overdue for demolition three storey prefab block on the wrong side of the tracks miles away from helpful company and Schools I had attended.

The facts around said Murder (or death) in question specifically make if the facts as I have them are accurate, an inescapable suggestion to the effect that I was in the process of being alternately flattered and vilified by differing political and nationalist interests because of some unusual perceived consonance with the person of the Queen in my paternal family. When said Murder took place, that is to say the strangled body of a teenage girl was said to have been found in the local Caribbean Club which, has just been demolished after various contretemps including an almost gun battle early in 2010. It could be said that various local COnservatives have found this an immense relief as it couldn't have been more badly placed, if such unusual crowd behaviour was to be tolerated willingly or otherwise bordering the central business district and the traditionally more prosperous north side as it did. I further have to suppose that certain facts are relevant to the suggestion that the death occurred as the result of disappointment perhaps, misunderstanding certainly, and political ambition quite likely. This was at a time when the political and ideological landscape had suddenly become uncertain. My Friend Nigel told me roughly that in the isolated goldfish bowl society that was Ipswich in the very early eighties there was some disappointment with the harsher reality for non ethnic citizens as tastelessly and carelessly portrayed by certain young Tories and though it was apparently a coincidence that for me disastrous personal matters reached an unpleasant and unexpected lack of assistance from a reactionary Lawyer obsessed with finding someone to blame for the state of the nation by the end of '84, he very much did as I say suggest that significantly unbeknownst to me I was considered important in this Goldfish bowl as for instance I was supposed to have been a leftist firebrand so to speak and that it was the case by early in 83 that some self interested deception on the part of Labour's local leadership was becoming exposed. Some of that may have been innocent as for example the kind of allegations that have been made against my Father were not the best conversational material and some of the political hopefuls I met may for example have thought that the stepsister I didn't want from the late eighties and had managed to forget by October of 81 was an acquaintance who was trying to launder allegations of an unworthy interest in under aged sex on her Mother's part, rather than a friendly confidante. Nigel spent almost all his life in Ipswich by 1983 as far as I knew and so has to be considered well informed in addition to which his sister has at least one half caste child.

Steven Norris's Father is if publicity is to be believed what many call a professional or career criminal. If it is accepted if only for the sake of a logical hypothesis, that the Lawrences number among their acquaintances persons with associations to the Ipswich Caribbean Club whose subliminal conversation contained some reference to an effective wall of silence around the death of a teenage girl then it is also logical to consider it was above all, precisely the sort of gossip that his Father would instinctively notice. There are other supporting or corroborating coincidences such as the fact that the near gun battle which arguably precipitated the closure of what was an old building happened to be between Londoners and locals.

Perhaps most tragic for me is the suggestion that my old friend Chris Schonbeck who was found hanged at around the time of the Lancaster Murder, was trying to tell me this was what he believed without cheating too much by telling me directly. I think he was acquainted with one of Mr Norris's Gang probably Mr Darcourt, Harcourt? Some Indian Psychiatrist had taken a dislike to his antics and he'd been confined for some while in the local Nuthouse: there are relevant comments and details in the CV on this site.

In respect of the meaning of friendship and the loyalties and duty we owe each other as citizens I can only lamely repeat that he was if anything in fact a loony liberal from a comfortable background who'd always seemed to regard occasional such confinements as an opportunity for amusement and a chance to lighten the boredom of poorly paid Nurses: if he'd called and said he was taking it badly I'd have been round like a shot: I know it's really no good saying I couldn't have known when the fact is I should have.

Article from The Guardian 01 02 13 about good reasons for a lack of public confidence in the Independent Police Complaints Commission

19 06 13

Uploaded a few additions to recent entries

16 09 13

I note in recent weeks that Ben Gummer the Town's fat, pink and blushing embarrassment of an MP has Offices few doors down from the Spreadeagle which he has brashly done out with his name in Ipswich Town Football Club colours. This of course can quite likely explain the deceitful and criminal nature of the management there in 2010 and the equally deceitful manner in which the Police have misbegottenly pursued the fictional allegations they made. If anything I would have said that the Gummers were more associated with Norwich than Ipswich and one can't help but wonder what is going to happen if whomever it is that young Ben is humming along with should stop making noises. Much as I don't want to make waves or deviate from what is in fact my own personal agenda I cannot join any semblance of party political interest however nominal. Quite a few longstanding acquaintances whose opinions and friendship I value enormously would no doubt like me to identify with the Conservative interest locally but it isn't going to happen. I'm not wiling to express any sentiment except the profound sense of betrayal I found as a youthful victim of Pimps Perverts and Corrupt Officials when I was savaged by the thuggish, unpleasant smelling poisonous piece of sh*** that is the Solicitor Anthony Smythe despite patiently waiting decades for the slightest sensible, sincere or worthwhile piece of advice from an authority figure about the disgusting ordeal I had endured for a lifetime. In career terms nothing young Gummer can ever say about Ipswich really in essence amounts to anything much other than what can be found on this site minus the story about how ignorance of a mini crime wave perpetrated by contemporaries of mine that were Young Tory aficionados has all too arguably played a decisive role in crippling Andrew Turner which matter is more than alluded to on my High School reunion page.

Deliberately blazing your name up downtown in the local club colours when you're dependent on a calculated ignorance of crime for your Job might be viewed as brash at the best of times. The fact of Ben (General Bummer is inevitably what the boy should be called) Gummer being a fresh faced reactionary wacko without the remotest relevant real life experience who has plonked himself incongruously in the middle of the largest urban sprawl for over fifty miles in any direction is curious in many ways besides the fact it is entirely contrary to the logic of generally accepted post war ideology.

Further evidence that there is some serious incongruity between a rhetorically accepted vision of our all important Democracy and its actuality is instanced recent events related to my attempt to deal with ongoing developments from the Prosecution. It being the case that the traduced, corrupted, non existence of meaningful or worthwhile legal aid, advice and representation has unfortunately it has to be said now at my time of life and with my health worries severely tainted my entire existence, I took some pains to try and narrate problems as they arose to at least one currently serving local Councillor whom I have known since the early '80s, with whom I share numerous mutual acquaintances and with whom I had assumed I was on fairly good terms with. I have to say I had been a little disappointed with Councillor Cheeseman's response which seems to have been little more than to have been to lie to me about having phoned which I did generally interpret as a protestation of the sort of misunderstanding that involves bad hearing. Anyhow, soon thereafter he and a LibDem Colleague resigned as I was in the process of trying to explain the problem a little further; so far as of today's date it remains the case that the Mayoress, or perhaps to be precise last year's Labour Mayoress has not responded to an elaborate exposition on the subject in particular of the consonance between the garish fictions of my having given two barmaids a dreadful beating for no reason whatever leaving nothing behind but a snapshot of an overrouged visage in a mysterious red light, and stories in circulation about how neither have the Labour replacements for the LibDem Councillors who pleaded medically unfit in some respect.

I believe it increasingly plain that Councillor Mowles is at the centre of a good deal of misinformation around the subject of sexual/social misconduct. The fact I have heard it alleged that he married a sixteen year old soon after he and other mostly Labour Councillors failed to elicit any worthwhile attention iro the fact I had been getting beaten by a Policeman's Son at Secondary School after three years of trying isn't in itself any particular evidence of questionable or antisocial behaviour, after all it would be a fairly boring world if everyone had marriages of the median age with 2.2 children. The fact is however this came soon after I would say it had become obvious to many third parties that this was because my Father was perceived as having too much interest in the therapeutic audience of adolescent schoolchildren and was obviously hiding dirty secrets. The extent to which Sexcrime has become something of a political hot potato in his Ward does in fact tend to suggest that he has knowingly been taking prompts from the Cormack family who were engaged in soliciting underaged sex with their disgusting Mother in the late seventies and stole every item of personal property I owned and has been calculatingly misguiding the community over many years.

Suffice it to say I think the Prima Facie evidence tends to the suggestion he should resign and I do consider this would be an immense relief to many colleagues and fellow Councillors. I would assert he has clearly been caught doing and saying the wrong thing in respect of misleading the residents of nearby Bartholomew Street who have been hit by a mini plague of opportunist Burglars whilst he has been ignoring my attempts to acquire some assistance with rapacious and negligent Legal Officials, and it seems a fair comment that they have made use of his official aura of respectability in doing so.

I have spent the summer casually but not carelessly in generally if perhaps not fully completing the practical tasks incumbent on maintaining the garden and frontage of the street corner Property I moved to early in 2010 as I had first proffered when applying for the Tenancy and am now contemplating a return to some serious paper work. Much as it wasn't convenient to set this aside some months ago now, I decided to mull over it for a while following a significant conversation with a senior partner at the Dr's Surgery. There is a good deal that requires immediate attention most saliently a formal application to the Criminal Cases Review Commission iro the Spreadeagle incident. It is paramount that I do not pander to people who are trying to mistake my arguments for any kind of rhetorical or factional party political interest especially in terms of maintaining company that can in this respect assist my legitimate ambitions: I really need to be as well balanced and lucid as possible in view of what seems to have been reasonably surmised about my ongoing attempts to validate what I thought was obvious and accepted.

It is of more general than particular interest to say that these events whilst not perhaps earth shattering (except to me) are arguably very disturbing in that events tend to imply that Local Government is an empty myth serviced by time servers and toadies looking for profitable prompts from above, and whose empty headedness makes a frightening and uneasy contrast with the necessity for a positive rationale when the dizzying rate of progress in the modern world has been massively amplified by the advent of the Internet and Digital Communications which have undermined any sense of conventional stability to an extent which is arguably a catastrophe in itself.

26 09 13

It seems logical and necessary at this juncture to point out that references to such romantic associations as had crept into my ongoing CV Life History Legal Protest are highly misleading. As I recall it these were something of an aside at the time in that their sparsity tended to go with the suggestion that my Mother is a ghetto girl whose social and marital experiences were thoroughly inadequate for and thoroughly inimical to the norms and values of small town society in the eighties.

To briefly recapitulate: my view of my Father was that he was completely out of his mind by the late seventies, not that I'd ever had the any real confidence in him. That he had violently tried to prostitute me was something that should have ensured I was housed in my own right as soon as I was old enough. That this did not happen and that he was allowed to continue to ruin what little chance I had of making something worthwhile out of my life indicates a severe failure of School and Welfare authorities whose behaviour was highly suspicious in that it is not an exaggeration to say he was clearly felt to be an antisocial nuisance by every parent.

The characters and the pseudonyms are real but the stories about them became haphazard to the point of being quite fictional. That may be a natural consequence of to some extent trying to recapitulate the importance of minor details of events on odd evenings now some decades in the past, but it does rather more interestingly suggest the question of romantic associations may be more relevant to the legal problems I have encountered than I have previously considered. Be that as it may I suppose the point was that individuals concerned would be able to recognise their pseudonyms and a certain amount of creative amusement might be had thereby.

What struck me then was the observation that I haven't had anything like a therapeutic romantic experience since I was seventeen and that subsequent experiences have left me to say the least, a quite humourless individual who definitely isn't amused and won't ever be willing to say of the state and his countrymen other than that they have failed badly to meet minimum standards of basic decency: what being of the remark that I have been left with a life of unjustified mistreatment and creeping sickness as the years go by.

13 10 13

Further musing over the subject, and a certain amount of mental exertion of the further reaches of my percipient ability in terms of having an elaborate sulk over the fact (for instance) that I didn't end up married to such and such and that I badly wanted to see one or other of a small number of Ladyfriends from teenage years, none of whom I have seen for thirty years or so, then gave rise to the thought that if people have taken the trouble to maliciously mislead me because they thought I was aware of some desirable favour from on high, then it is certainly also the case that this has played a role in what sort of personal romantic history I do have: that is to say that in this respect different parties probably had self interested motives for portraying me unworthily after prematurely impregnating desirable marital catches with trendy reactionary stories.

Thence, it seemed a reasonable hypothesis that the unpleasant stinking turd of a man that is the Solicitor Anthony Smythe may have been deluded by what are often termed 'love rats.' I don't mean to apologise for the man at all and am anticipating a pleasing nemesis in that I predict he will be driven out of Ipswich as the community around the Town Centre becomes increasingly aware that more recently he has been quite undeniably caught bum steering the taxpayers he reckoned he was doing a favour in 1985. I think it fairly plain that his misguidance of the Borough's citizens has played a key role in boosting the startling increase in the rate of murders and fatal accidents, particularly just prior to the last General Election and it seems a fair assumption that someone so violent, abusive and afraid of the subject of Sex Offenders is far from unlikely to have a complaining wife or partner and be one himself.

I started making a few observations about events around some of the few pleasant memories I had from the early eighties and for example I thought I discerned Mona Stammering making the observation that she and Catherine Marie Clare had been poisoned by a tall dark and very, very handsome called Gable Scribblewit which might support the suggestion that there had been some question of preferment from on high. What is of recalling that Gable certainly knew the details of my abject situation as she and her then boyfriend Franklyn had been one of the first visitors to the Flat my Father had acquired late in 1981. I liked and respected them both far too immensely to have entertained shall we say, any less then perfectly honourable feelings toward either of them but I suppose the point is that I was still comparatively young, knew little of the World and the fact of managing to acquire the society of genuinely bright young things was something of a surprising and obviously pleasing novelty. Among other things I'm fairly sure that she or they, had apprised the fact that Rachel Cormack was not any sort of friendly acquaintance or bona fide girlfriend, but someone masquerading as such with the intention of maligning my reputation for refusing illegal sexual relations with her Mother.

Perhaps the most obvious symptom of the allegation Councillor Mowles had with an eye to the suggestion of interest from on high, been implicitly scheming with the Cormack/Nightingales lies in the exchanges I had with Mr Grogan who was the Manager of Crown Pools in the latter nineties in that it is very plausible to infer that he was involved in relating to Staff there that I was gay or bisexual or some other kind of nondescript sex weirdo.

In seeking to opine that I really needed something more and something rather different than being dumped in the cheapest housing available with my suspiciously evasive Father late in 1981 I had been resentfully filthy and unkempt during my sixth form days not wantonly or antisocially. I suppose I thought of Gable as a friendly older Sister sort of character and I think she certainly realised that I was suffering from a severe sort of emotional deprivation, which time seems to have revealed to be due to the fact of my Mother was more absent from my childhood than had been officially recognised. Of course one can make various observations about the speech codes that identify and distinguish people of similar and different social classes to each other; I had never seen sexuality as part and parcel of what I found insofar as I say, I was quite delighted with managing to keep the company of Intelligentsia. She had recently dropped exhausted out of a final year of Middle Eastern Degree Studies of some sort so she and her boyfriend Franklyn Hardiman were rather older having both recently turned twenty and at little or nothing more than school leaving age I was still blushingly thinking of apeing the super fashionable retro style of the day with spiky hair and men's make up. in 1981 I was very glad that I had found such good and helpful society and that people were willing to put up with the fact I couldn't entirely refrain from making pointless noises about politics which I didn't really want or expect to be taken seriously.

I recall one afternoon I had called at a relatively new Flat they had acquired near the Town centre and had sat down and without really thinking about it had found myself involuntarily ensnared in her gaze. I suppose they must have found it quite amusing and taken it complimentarily as we remained on good terms. I had found myself looking at this person and somewhat belatedly realised that I was looking at a very beautiful young Lady just flushing into full womanhood and had literally fainted if only momentarily, blushing apologetically and entirely losing my breath for which my excuse was that she resembled the attractive brunette who'd been in my sixth form class in the earlier part of '81. She probably noticed several things about me that were not supposed to be true such as that if I had been mixed up with the Reds that they had failed to deliver on what I felt I needed and probably shouldn't have been plagiarising peer groups that were so conservative by definition. She was the only female I've ever known who has caught me unerringly on every single occasion I've tried to steal a dirty look at even with her back turned and remains one of a very few individuals whose judgement and social sense I respect without reservation. Franklyn had been at a party in about 1985 (which was the last time I saw him) when I had ended up stealing a chicken; I haven't seen either of them since that time but I do assert that if it was the case that she had ended up getting it in the neck about the theft that she did have to admit that I had effectively been robbed of everything I had owned and worked for by people who should have been fingered as sex offenders if perhaps of the not so dangerous variety: well that is suffice it to say that I hope any third party might conclude so...

In respect of the fact he seems to have put it about that we had some kind of understanding about her, I had never even learned what the name was of the oversized fellow Mona seems to have skipped Town with: we are not and never have been any kind of friendly acquaintance. It seems very apt to point out in respect of some high profile incidents and accidents including perhaps that of the Rock Drummer Pete de Freitas that he was very large threatening and clumsy. I suppose I did have a mini affair with one of these desirable ladies but that isn't important and for example among other things I resent the suggestion that I somehow owe someone else something for it in some respect. I did know the name of the Father of Ms Marie Clare's teenage pregnancy but didn't ever have any sort of really meaningful exchange with him in that he was supposedly a friend of one Conrad Payne a failed Art Student who later committed suicide and whose floor I had been briefly sleeping on in 1983: at the time I wasn't even aware he was an acquaintance of hers. I recall that one day she had chided me for being less than enthusiastic about the monarchy, or to be precise the person of the Queen, and may have thought that I was aware that she was actually listening through my ears which I was not: it would not be until the winter of 2007-8 that I realised this to be a sensational but plausible explanation for a good deal of confusion and distress. Whatever other perspective One might care to view my life situation from I'm afraid it was then and is now a perfectly reasonable remark that the Royal Family should not have been presiding over such a thoroughly unpleasant and soul destroying debacle as I have found the nightmare experience of being a British citizen.

In view of the amount of mental cases that have arisen from various misunderstandings of these events I have to say that if you think you've seen the Queen listening through my ears or anything such, that you should be wary of making importunities or falsifying associated signals. Speak when you are spoken to is a piece of basic good manners which as a simple quality should never be underestimated. It seems a straightforward enough observation that it isn't surprising that people start evidencing mental dysfunction, and having accidents if they are really pretending to have a conversation with such and such a figure, and for instance trying to answer questions they haven't specifically been asked.

The fact that Mona Stammering's friend Michaela Bryce had this funny habit of sarcastically calling me Sir which I completely failed to understand at the time, more obviously points to the suggestion of some lofty unseen interest at the time: if anything I would have said that it had palpably irritated me. Saying that she also seems to suggest that someone who I'd identify as Joan Oily who had been in my class at Copleston, has falsified the appearance of a conversation that has fictionalised an account of my latter Schooldays there from various unworthy seeming motives also prompts the thought that if this is true it may also be the case that Jilly Hackitt concurs this voice to have deluded her about my situation and predilections in 1980. In general I didn't make friends at Copleston and was offended with the input I got. The School really shouldn't have tried to accept my Father's ongoing impersonation which had become the focus of my discontent, as it had been straightforwardly accepted as correct that he wasn't in my first year of Secondary which had been spent in the north west.

No-one in Ipswich except my Father's Sister had seen how badly I'd been served during the previous decade or they might have treated me with a more resigned and understanding sort of caution. Leaving Ipswich at the age of five or so had led to the most disgusting, degrading, sordid, cheapening sort of experience. I was really out of my wits with trying to get to grips with the situation rather than being some kind of antisocial weirdo with vague liberal pretensions. I'd been unfortunate throughout Schooldays especially in material terms, hardly ever having a single item of various ancillary educational and sporting equipment; but not only was some hoped or expected remission of the nightmare not happening once I returned to Suffolk late in '76 but it was another unpleasant experience to feel that I was being treated mean spiritedly and dealt with deceitfully. The fact that I might have noticeably stated during Biology classes at Copleston, that I was rather concerned that the only way I was going to get any investment in my Education was by taking my pants off for the Teacher, and had tried masturbating in class as a means to substantiate that I was not the person who I was being ascribed to be, doesn't mean as some tiny minds seem to have speciously interpreted, that I necessarily wanted to sleep with her, let alone with some spotty Mother of three Magistrate's Daughter: this did turn out to be a simple fact. I wasn't trying to be naughty I was in a dangerously upset condition by then and was failing to find some tolerable present in which I could try and think about the things that had happened to me around 1970.

It isn't surprising that References to Blackmail which have cropped up in recent relevant correspondence which has been floating about are difficult to appraise.

Regardless of whether or not one accepts that it is a matter of historic significance that underlies some unusually difficult family problems there are unquestionably very arguably at least several specific serious instances of such in the thoroughly unpleasant familial wranglings of my own lifetime: among other things of course I do tend to point out that if the former case is in fact significantly true then in general I'm not really to blame for the fact of expensive legal contretemps arising. In respect of some attempt to hastily define and subsequently clarify this question, it is true that I have had to say to any of the authorities in the Country whether Queen, Judge, Lawyer, Councilman or Consort, and I am pig f****** sick of saying it, that the Legal Advice and Representation that these parties mostly refer to in evaluating or responding to my remarks either does not exist at all, or is of such poor and meaningless quality that it is worse than if it did not exist at all.

The assertion that it does exist simply does not compute and I cannot extrapolate any hypothesis containing the suggestion it does because I've never found any; all I have found are expensive pretences that were thoroughly sinister and unpleasant deceptions actually consisting of nothing but poisonous abuse and wilful neglect. Given the events surrounding my Father's death and the fact of my own age it is increasingly unlikely that I can compose a scenario in which I have any real desire to remain a citizen of the UK and repeat that I am increasingly driven to the thought of more unconventional solutions for the problems inherent to the antisocial behaviour of English Lawyers; this inevitably has to include the possibility of foreign governments who can afford to meet my immediate financial/compensation demands as a precondition of any resolution I might be willing to consider legal.

I have therefore, given several related factors such as my age and poor health, no choice but to point out that it is fatuous to expect me to think of being other than deliberately clumsy in various respects, unless one or other of these authorities is willing to admit to some responsibility in the ongoing scandal that has become my official existence. As far as money is concerned I desperately need some dental implants and there's no way of being nice about the fact that among other things as far as I know, it is reasonable and reputable, contemporary science that says I was fitted up with a thoroughly discredited variety of dental work that reputable medical opinion states was a menace to good health in body and mind before my adult dentition had even finished appearing.

That is very much to say that apart from any other related question I am in the first instance genuinely a victim of bad medical practice rather than a worthless wanton careless chain smoker or self harmer looking for medicine he doesn't deserve.

What is of suggesting that apart from signing me off sick as my Father was dying on grounds that I could hardly be bothered to note as the fact itself was so long overdue the NHS haven't got much right. It is only the remark that it seems increasingly clear that they have been led by certain culpable individuals to engage in certain misapprehensions, that gives me any cause to have any reservations about saying that the service I have had is quite incompetent and fairly rude.

What's coming next may seem obvious to many who have at least some familiarity with the arguments I have long advanced on this website and it is inescapably very much to the point.

It's very difficult to express what has occurred in respect of my undeserved and long term legal problems and the concomitant impact it has had on my life like losing touch with friends I could not afford to lose, without referring to the fact that I am effectively unable to conduct serious and legal business without either being struck dumb and paralysed with horror or bursting into tears. Kicking the practicalities of my own household into touch this summer whilst agonising over what shall we say, is a nasty and prolonged sulk about the fact my life is rushing on and for example that among other things I didn't, or at least haven't as I say yet, happily ended up married to such and such is among the things that I am hoping has to some extent been discerned by various parties.

To try and put what is on my mind with some meaningful conciseness is quite an emotive ordeal but I'll have a go and hope that the significance of certain circumstances is properly comprehended in certain quarters.

I have long said there were issues with my family background that needed a different sort of official attention than they got. This consideration was borne out by the arrival of 'discovered memories,' to my conscious mind in 2005ish, but only in recent months have I have arrived at the distinctly unpleasant conclusion that the last time I saw my Grandfather alive he was definitely in the process of accusing his Son of being involved with the Mowbrays principally because he felt aggrieved at his experiences, and was looking to get his own back on what shall we say a motiveless fate, by getting involved with the most unfortunate sort of broken families with the aim of seeking unusual and mostly illegal sexual activity rather than discharging the responsibilities of a parent in any respect. It has only in recent days however become a concrete suspicion that my paternal Aunt may have been eyed up for Prosecution in respect of the manner in which he took a stroke within months of my last having seen him. That we were quite close by the standards of such familial relations was obviously related to the evident shortcomings of my Father and Mother, as I approached the age of six I had spent perhaps my only undisturbed periods of infancy at my Grandparents. It was early in 1970 that my Father moved north and the only time I saw him prior to his death early in 72 was when my Father was en route to Harwich for a visit to a Danish pen friend in 71.

It should have been obvious to many there were issues with the responsibility of parental behaviour that I had always been justified in finding fault with and the role of the officially interested has to be considered as very significantly flawed. In connection with the fact I have spent so many years protesting the unworthy nature of legal advice in respect of relevant situations it seems apt to point out for instance that neither of my natural parents have managed, at least not during the course of my own lifetime, any sort of worthwhile Household in their own right as it were.

I'm not trying to spin out a story for any reason, far from it but I have no choice but to say that it really is the truth that I have been continually making fresh and disturbing discoveries that do tend to suggest I was correct to have been concerned about correctly interpreting the personal events of the time period from 1966 to 1976. Aside from the fact it became unavoidable that I was going to have to refer to the fact that later in the seventies there had been some mucky familial goings on of the sort that can often stir violent behaviour, iro conversations with Solicitors who have continually declined it even existed on what I have alleged were at very best spurious ideological grounds, and which I had been able to at least partly remember since that time, the very particular fact is now that I have in recent days made this very specific and firm conclusion iro the detail of my personal memories and experiences.

To cut a very long story almost as short as possible.

There seems to be some grounds to examine a more specific suggestion than that of my Father allegedly having had a questionable reputation as a failed white collar liberal with teaching aspirations and that his odd behaviour had in fact some sinister basis iro his own Father's death; it being the case for instance that whatever the actual date of the event of his own death might happen to be, the circumstances of his Father's death was clearly what I had found preoccupying me at the specific instant that my own Father did in fact cease to live.

It should probably be possible one way and another to verify this quite quickly as if the hypothesis is correct then various parties will have some perception of relevant deductive conversation taking place. It might seem that the reason I have been having or experiencing a certain amount of mental dysfunction may fairly be said to have its roots in the suggestion that in the first place my memories of events surrounding the death of my paternal Grandfather should not be as vague as they have been: in that shall we say its not really normal for memories of childhood to be such a swirling mass of toxic impulses. Something like the fact of him having tried to send out a serious distress signal as all the necessary conditions for a stroke came together, addressed to me (rather than anyone else) and probably with the conscious aim of attracting the summary interest of a wider audience to his increasing infirmity and the fact perhaps of my own misery within the perspective of the aggressive sort of attention he was getting from my maternal relatives and their affinity, seems now to have very very arguably been edited out of what I am supposed to be able to recall. Aside from mulling over the details as to whether the fatal event was entirely coincidental, or if not as to whether the unworthy actions of certain individuals might justifiably be said to play a suspicious role it is surely without question that the dynamics of the situation fit the story that he was trying to get a message across that he had become seriously unhappy about one or two things including probably foremostly the way he was getting looked after: he and I had both been firm about not wanting anything to do with the Mowbrays when my Father attempted to visit with them.

The unfortunate suggestion that my distraught and embarrassed Father who may far too plausibly also have had some guilt in the matter of possibly entertaining the more extreme sort of mucky personal ambition, had bad temperedly bundled his Father into a Stroke with so much willing or unwilling assistance on the part of my Mother her sister(s) and one large old school friend in particular whilst composing such a signal, is a notion that seems to explain far too much far too satisfactorily shall we say. He certainly wasn't going to win any prizes for his management of his parent's retirement for sure. The fact is that those who have sought to assist me officially in any therapeutic context have I asserted been led to make certain mistakes that are far too predictable if we look at the suggestion that my Father's Sister or any of her friendly acquaintances had ever been under suspicion of having too actively brought together the components of a fatal stroke before such a distress signal could be effectively transmitted: once that thought arose it was immediately reasonable to conclude that it is arguably the only really obvious plausible motive for a secretively carried out and enormously painstaking character assassination of myself carried out over many years which finally became evident when my own Father lay dying. It is of course true that many different versions of events including a clumsily acquired and perhaps deliberately induced stroke could indeed be made up with one or other of a small number of characters as the Prime Mover. These go something along the lines of the suggestion that he may have had a nasty encounter with my Mother's debtors and parties who wanted to impose a remarriage on her, or he may perhaps have been lured into such a fatal attack with the superficial solicitousness of herself and her friends who hadn't gotten anything like the sums my paternal Grandmother's people allegedly had in the late thirties.

What is generally very much of putting it that vague references to the fact of Blackmail in recent attempts to deal with some of the more recent events of my own lifetime, need not refer to the obvious fact of my unwillingness to be concerned with the reputation of my nation or any of its public figures in seeking to be treated by its grubby officialdom with even the most basic level of acceptable decency, and of putting it that it's fatuous to expect that I don't immediately need money as part of the deteriorating prospect for any sort of agreeable resolution, or that I owe any other Briton any unusual consideration because I damn well don't.

I can remember what this country is called I don't need any help with that: the point is that it doesn't matter whether you call it: Narnia; Siberia; Bongo Bongo Land or Santa's Elf Reserve c/o the North Pole it's still the same toxic nightmare.

This wretched stool for Curs, this sordid isle
this dearth of majesty, this shame of ours
this hateful evil, this very pestilence
these fetters built by the nameless for ourselves
approve infection and the hand of war,
this haughty breed of men, this loathed curse,
this precocious tongue set in a serpent sea,
which serves it in the afflicts to appal
as a midden offensive to a house,
abates the envy of less happier lands
this blighted plot, this hell, this England

So the point is that apart from the perhaps obvious that these references to Blackmail could mean any of several instances of such in my family background which I have now known about for some time since I started recalling relevant events within the last decade. It could easily refer to various things including the manner in which George 5th was persuaded to marry his deceased brother's fiance Mary of Teck, or the manner in which one or two female acquaintances were manoeuvred into clumsy looking and over hasty marriages or partnerships in the reactionary eighties, but the mention of the fact does eventually give rise to the suggestion that my paternal Aunt was an unfulfilled and increasingly maladjusted, nagging, scheming Cocaine Addict who had ill advisedly sought to embroil the family's finances in black marketeering in certain respects. The suggestion that she engineered his Stroke before she could be exposed or portrayed in such a light, and had plausibly been eyed up for a relevant Prosecution, then Blackmailing my Father out of asserting any honest account of events with the assurance that he'd be exposed as a serious sort of scheming wannabee paedophile is when it comes down to it, in general terms the only really good or compelling explanation for a highly secretively carried out character assassination carried out by my Father's Sister since I was an infant.

People don't go to the lengths she has to sow damaging fictions and elaborate misunderstandings for innocent or trifling motives: that simply just isn't real!

She clearly didn't want any more of the family's then very unremarkable wealth disappearing, though I think she had ill advisedly entered Cocaine schemes, and of course she hadn't managed to spend it pursuing a youthful romantic attachment in the manner my Father had. The suggestion that she may have been eyed up for a Criminal Prosecution in respect of the allegation that she engineered his Stroke before he could direct inheritances other than toward the aim of unconditionally clearing her path toward ownership of the family property seems to explain far too much far too well. The fact she rudely disposed of this for her own selfish and summary convenience despite decades of sacrificial good intention on my part, whilst another curious disagreement with legal advisors was taking place supports such an assertion; as it seems does the manner in which NHS medics have been led to believe that the verbal regurgitation of my memories is paranoid and/or schizoid rather than being evidence of a dissociative amnesiac condition which I have consistently maintained is a consequence of suppressed memories of childhood trauma. This latter deserves some qualification as to the nature of and manner in which conscious memories are acquired. This is significant in that I seem to have acquired partial memories of events as an infant which were forgotten, and when they were decades later 'discovered,'it remains for instance difficult to state with any certainty as to whether I am really remembering certain details from my own conscious mind or have for example found references to the same events in the minds of older relatives who were there at the time.

The suggestion that this situation may to some extent be consonant with the Government's social agenda in terms of contemporary social dialogue in the shape of Operation Yewtree and the procession of big Labour associated names from the 60s and 70s media world through the Courts for the generally selfish manipulation and exploitation of access to publicity is probably somewhat more debatable. It is certainly significantly true that my Father's Sister had directed the remarriages of both my natural parents a few years after her Father's death in '72 and that one way or another it seems they both had reasons for not honestly discussing certain facts and events. What is very, very saliently of suggesting that she must have sold the Cormacks/Nightingales the fiction that I knew, agreed with or was happy about my Father's 'liberal,' identity when the truth was that I had been completely at my wits end with his behaviour for as long as I could remember finding him thoroughly negligent and disturbing in the extreme.

The allegation that the fact of such a portrayal of events relating to the death of my paternal Grandfather in particular has been thus overlooked should quite easily elicit either a noticeable concurrence or a palpable lack of it: which is to say it's either very true or not true at all rather than being something which is subjectively right or wrong from third party perspectives. I should be able to obtain some meaningful response to such a query quite soon in that for example, not all of my Grandfather's neighbours are yet deceased.

29 10 13

The remark that Joan Oily has conducted a significant ongoing impersonation is I think a highly significant one in that a huge number of disasters can surprisingly reasonably be attributed to this person and her deceitful/fictitious conversation. She probably originally thought she was being clever perhaps even genuinely helpful and something like a secret delight has gradually given way to a realisation that she has made a catastrophic misapprehension. This in turn might by now have become something like a terrified fear of discovery as the key agent in a series of extraordinary misfortunes including perhaps dozens more premature deaths.

It is surely far too clearly the case that far too many appalling incidents of more recent years can be traced to the unpleasant deceits she seems to have sown and tended over the years: I would tend to say the fact we have a similar physiognomy has made the deception more difficult to spot. What is very much of the observation that Teaching Staff and Welfare Professionals are supposed to deal with parents and Guardians as irresponsible as mine not 13 year old girls. Perhaps the most damaging thing she has done is to feign that there was some real possibility of attaching me to my Mother's Household instead of my deranged Father's which didn't actually exist by then. Whilst this may have appeared to make superficial sense what is increasingly of the suggestion that in simple terms subconscious memories of her Sister murdering my Grandfather precluded this and that I have never been on genuinely friendly terms.

Oily seems to protest that my paternal Aunt had assiduously fastened certain deceptions on those like herself who might have exposed her as something like an Accessory to Murder who had blackmailed my Father into silence. The stories she and her Coplestonian contemporaries seem to have patronised are all too arguably the result of self interested suggestions largely originating from Mr Powell (Heinkel) who was it might seem to some extent clearly engaged in a Euromaniac conversation with my paternal Grandmother in the late sixties, and what being of the remark that whatever compelling historical justifications she may have proffered she was in legal terms a Blackmailer. It is of course very interesting that she died about twenty years younger than her half dozen siblings who seem to have benefited from the fact rather more than she did personally; especially in view of the fact that perceptions of such an acrimonious exchange among persons who have been at such pains to portray themselves as 'respectable' and 'conservative' may plausibly be seen to underscore the fact of the Jeremy Bamber Affair. The fact it does seem increasingly apparent that her Daughter my paternal Aunt has patronised Nazis and neo Nazis (as well as Sex Offenders) as part of an ongoing cover up of the details of the premature deaths of her parents, and an attempt to sow confusion among those off guard to the suspicion of sinister and criminal behaviour, very much goes with the story about a family dispute having led to five murders in which the principal victims were an RAF veteran and his Wife.

I have to be honest I didn't like Joan Oily, she may have been among the more attractive females in my year at Copleston but that doesn't necessarily mean that for example I did not find her brash vain and shallow because I did. Such an observation may be a little unfair in that whilst I couldn't take much of an interest in sports or dressing up I did seek to set some unusually high standards in Arts and Humanities subject areas even though I was so disturbed that I could hardly write a legible note.

31 10 13

The key exchanges that defined my ill advised enrolment at Copleston took place within weeks of my having started at Copleston at almost exactly this time of year in 1976.

I had a lot of respect for the Head Girl Jacky Orifice and at the risk of repeating myself it was the case that within a month of my starting at the School she had clearly stated if not verbally that my parents and their families were an extreme nuisance that the authorities had broadly speaking decided they were going to fudge or ignore. The upshot of this was that any attempt to make something worthwhile out of my Schooling was utterly and entirely doomed in every respect. She was and presumably is, like Gable Scribblewit a very rare example of a shire town female who was both beautiful and perfectly wise. I completely agreed with her view and the four years I spent at that School were a complete and utter waste of time from my own point of view as myself and the fact of this exchange were wilfully ignored. The 'O' levels I had obtained were English, History and RE which I could have passed from general knowledge and in which I'd have probably gotten better grades if I'd had a home to stay in instead of pointlessly being forced to attend a School were I had to endure the impersonations of Sex Offenders. She neither made the mistake of engaging in any pointless conversation with my Mother's family and seemed to sense they were people who had blackmailed each other into relationships and were probably best described as criminal white trash.

It suffices to say that I simply didn't like my Mother, why should I? I never had any reason to like her, her behaviour definitely did not ever elicit such a response. In 1980 I had assumed that she and her partner were happy to see that I had somehow made some progress into higher education and that they might have been willing to provide at least some clothes and perhaps some dental work which was probably more necessary. What seems to have happened was that they mean spiritedly joined in the secretive character assassination then being brewed up by my paternal Aunt utilising whatever respectability they had to the utter folly of rejecting what should have been my first life saving medical diagnosis.

To return briefly to the fact of the key allegation that among a series of gruesome and shabby failings the staff at Copleston had set me up with the reputation of a Thief.

It's probably best to jump forward a bit and point our that a few years later in 1980 the son of a sort of professional Thief who was incarcerated at that time I was attending Copleston, and whose Son along with two or three other males, went up to Northgate with me had found a copy of a famously evil and depraved work by The Marquis de Sade which narrates the torture, rape and murder of a couple of dozen peasants by a group of 18th century Aristocrats in a gruesome comic parody of life in a pre industrial Institution. It isn't yet entirely clear to me what the reasons were that various individuals developed particular views of me and my personal affairs at that time but it seems a particularly interesting suggestion that my Father had diverted, misled (and probably as was presumably in Ms Oily's case spellbound) various audiences of Schoolchildren from the time I first went to School, by reciting excerpts from the Work as a background to Morning Registration and classroom changes etc.

A little more ought to be said about the Work to clarify this suggestion!

My view is that whilst it is famously one of the most evil examples of literary iconoclasm ever created having for example been banned by various authorities throughout history including Napoleon, because of the obviously corrosive effect it can easily have on weak minds, it is also arguably one of the funniest. It can perhaps also be said to be quite paradoxically instructive if for example you're in possession of a mind sufficiently sophisticated as to comprehend the psychological value of comparing the mindset of an eighteenth century peasant with that of an adolescent schoolkid in the liberated and shall we say for want of a better phrase, emotionally open post war period.

I have for a few years now been propounding the suggestion that if my Granny was a successful Nazi Blackmailer in the thirties, whence it might seem appropriate to say her daughter was originally a victim, then it is absurd to suggest that she didn't sarcastically teach me exactly correctly about every sort of property crime. I have always argued that it was in fact absurd to suggest that someone of my evident calculating ability was wilfully plotting petty thefts a few years after she died which is for example what Reverend Tricker and the School authorities are putatively saying. I did recently enquire by email of the School as to whether or not Mr Powell (Heinkel) was seeking to convey some kind of message about sexual misdemeanour among teaching staff, or had some other comment about allegations I have been able to air since the Internet era but have had no response: according to certain local news media the School has been the subject of high profile Prosecutions at this time.

What is of hazarding that Jacky Orifice is in fact willing to entirely agree that I was silently screaming for help with crime and criminals including my parents, insofar as I knew anything about them at the time, was most certainly not wanting to plot any thefts of any sort and was in fact saying a good deal about the necessity for better order generally. The fact that someone like Gerry Morecambe may have imagined or argued otherwise if he had some superficial appreciation of some subliminal conversation around the subject among various parties including members of staff, really isn't the point.

What is of pointing to the fact of the death from Cancer of the Reverend's Wife at about this time and of postulating some argument between them about the effect of recitals of the most vile and perverse imaginable nature backgrounding the implementation of timetables and curriculum. If a number of Teachers over the years had found this usefully hilarious in dealing with various groups of large numbers of snotty unwashed adolescents, in that the 18th century Work referred to sets out the dates and manner in which abominable acts are to be carried out it, it clearly ought perhaps to have been borne in mind that sordid and shameful truths could be concealed therein. It is a very interesting proposition that Mrs Tricker who I think was called Jean (though I'm probably wrong) had in the process of expiring from Cancer cursed her Husband for a fool in allowing a sanitised and surreptitiously inserted fiction from Joan Oily to become the official history of my Schooldays there: this, would obviously have been because of the likelihood of various disasters ensuing from such a deception of which the first could arguably be said to be the successful assassination of Lord Louis Mountbatten on Aug 27th 1979.

05 11 13

The hypothesis that Joan Oily had with the connivance of several deceitful parties including Teachers (several of whom she may have slept with) deliberately set out to mislead the school and welfare authorities from the late seventies explains far too much too well. That it has directly and indirectly killed dozens of people is not so obvious as the Prima Facie evidence or argument that it is true. This in the first instance consists of the observation that I have never managed to engineer any understanding at all of my official existence since the time I was wrongly re housed with my Father after the collapse of his so called marriage to a local Magistrate's Daughter in 1978: in which matter he was ignored as a Sex Object and I had been rudely propositioned to the extent of on at least one occasion having been the subject of a violent attempted rape on a so called camping holiday.

From before time my Grandfather died I was living in a nightmare in which I had nothing to live for except the hope that one day some insightful official might free me from the sordid ordeal that life had become. Within days of starting at Copleston, Jacky Orifice (THe Head Girl) had told me not to bother trying to be friendly because my Father was a dirty pervert who was trying to grope her. This exchange wasn't literally made into the respective utterances but it was unquestionably and without a shadow of a doubt what passed between us by the time of Guy Fawkes night 1976. From then until leaving the School in June of 1980 I was entirely cut off from anything worthwhile that might have been happening there. Only a handful of people spoke to me in any respect at all and I was pointlessly trooping from one lesson to another being unable to hear anything in any genuine sense and the whole experience had been very chastening, entirely sordid and considerably less than completely worthless to me, to the Nation or to Society as a whole.

To judge from my memories at the time I don't believe there is any question at all that my Father had been outed by the capable Teacher I'd had at my first Secondary School in Lancashire, and that he had only moved there in the first place to evade allegations of being a predatory pervert and make his relationship with Ms Mowbray appear normative.

In examining the Oily hypothesis and regardless of whether One thinks it true or false; its next stage appears to have been the acceptance of the Oily impersonation by local Councillors and political wannabees in the opening stages of the Thatcher administration. Much as I don't want to make unsubstantiated allegations or air any unwarranted suspicions, it seems to have been the case that Councillor Mowles who is perhaps the only survivor among this coterie of politically interested acquaintances had deliberately accepted Oily's impersonation as part of what he knew was a cover up of an increasingly tangled web of official corruption. I believe that many local people will in time come to acknowledge this as perhaps the biggest single cause of various great ills in the local community of which the rocketing rates of violent and sexual crimes is it seems with little doubt the most obvious.

Aside from the question of my own personal woes and my own personal role in these affairs, I don't think that anyone of my age would dispute the suggestion that Ipswich has suffered an astonishing decline as a social centre since the early eighties.

The Town centre was then stuffed full of interesting Pubs and Cafes and at weekends the Central Business District was thronged with all sorts of people with the Caribbean Community tending to go to the Blue Coat Boy, Motorcyclists the Running Buck, and middle class white youths the White Horse and Golden Lion. Of these the Lion is the only survivor, but the point is very much that in those days on weekend evenings there would be hundreds of young people in the CBD indicating what most would surely assume to be a vital and healthy society. As far as I know there was almost no crime of any sort at all and I believe that many must agree with the remark that the atmosphere of the Town has become quite nightmarish by comparison with just odd groups of young people scuttling around wearing anxious expressions and clutching grimly onto mobile phones and cans of Pepper Spray.

That Councillor Mowles is seen to be under a disreputable cloud of some such sort is possibly evidenced by the fact that despite his increasing venerability he has not to my knowledge yet been Mayor of the Borough.

06 11 13

Like every good scholar should I am seeking to examine the facts and issues in conditional terms rather than boringly telling people what to think. In this respect it seems apt to point out that whilst the evidence of my recollections does unmistakeably point toward the figure of Joan Oily as being the approximate source of extremely damaging personal signals and communications failures it doesn't quite necessarily mean that she was the Prime Mover in what now in my view seems to have been an unquestionably cruel deception perpetrated by the School on Social and Welfare Agencies.

A couple of facts seem to leap to mind in respect of such an appalling misunderstanding as ignoring and even being so blandly open to the accusation of deliberately laundering the activities of Paedophile Parents which (it does in fact happen to be a simple unfortunate fact) was what all mine were in 1978. One observation which may resolve a number of details in the minds of those who were partial witnesses to these events of the late seventies, is that it is now also reasonably unquestionable that it must have become obvious for instance to people who had to endure my sad, unwashed and odorous personage in classrooms, that there was or had been some kind of serious situation with my Father having a questionable history of sexual/social behaviour which accounted for it, and that among the more palpable details he was being framed for Blackmail by my then ex stepbrothers.

My impulse is to suggest very strongly that it should be considered this was the key point at which my Father's sister had painstakingly insinuated the suggestion that I also knew this to be a fact. Most would after all obviously think this generally logical and accept the suggestion without conscious questioning in that only an extremely unusual set of circumstances could possibly explain the fact of erstwhile stepbrothers knowing more about my Father's personal history than I did. The best way to explain it is probably with the expression that familiarity breeds contempt in that my socialisation had been managed by my Father's family. In earlier days as an infant in a northern mining Town for example I had no third party perspective from which to identify the suggestion his behaviour was often considered weird. The disturbing conversations with the Head Girl late in '76 had slipped away as a conscious daily recollection in many ways. I was having to live with the parents and family I had in a strange sort of daydream of criminality and progressive ideology and had already been consistently misled around the circumstances of the deaths of my grandparents earlier in the decade. That other painful facts about my existence which were accruing later in the 70's did not become a particularly conscious preoccupation I have to contend firmly is evidence of a psychological defence mechanism rather than of criminal guilt. Besides any such speculation about thought processes what was of the simple fact that talking and thinking about problems was not going to help. There was going to be no assistance of any genuine worth to me forthcoming and if I had been able to consciously piece together the facts then as I have in the last few years and months I would still have been faced with the conclusion that I was going to have to pretend otherwise and wait until I was old enough to be eligible for some kind of public housing.

A second major observation which springs to mind in respect of the assertion that someone who isn't me has been manipulating my official conversation/signals since the late seventies, is naturally consequent of the argument that whilst I hadn't ever done any homework and was reluctantly going to School where life was an unpleasant torment I was an extremely well read young person in many respects. Living in four different regions of the Country by the age of ten and consequently not having any childhood friends meant that I had spent as one would imagine of a Librarian's child under any circumstance, an unusual amount of time in devouring literature. Whilst I had routinely lost any sort of clean paper or exercise book I had ever picked up at school the very same day and was fairly unable to write anything except disturbed looking squiggles I was not unlikely to have been one of the most literate few hundred or thousand adolescent Schoolchildren in the Country in the late seventies. In seeking to evaluate the question as to whom is actually who it seems relevant to observe that when my third or fourth year class of Biology students found itself with a new young Lady Teacher it is not unlikely that I was a better exponent of English usage despite being scarcely into my teens.

In general terms the most likely scenario is that the new young female Biology Teacher misguidedly ignored the suggestion that my problems with parents were serious and long term, not superficial or trifling, and that Oily subsequently built on the fiction.

What is going to be of unhappily having to return to the historical context at some point as whilst it may not be obvious, it probably is a valid suggestion that from the viewpoint of odd third parties, my story should be viewed in many or perhaps most respects as that of a completely confused small Town boy who has been going quietly out his mind since early childhood without the faintest idea why as the single unknown offspring of a nonentity of a Librarian, who clearly had at least some minor personal psychological problems around the issue of sexuality, was being so negligently misunderstood. What possible calculating motive could anyone have to so painstakingly deceive such an unfortunate child whose only apparent advantage was in theory that he was a particularly good English student and speaker who had no reason to suspect that in general terms he had been or would be perhaps deliberately misunderstood.

I think it increasingly clear that the deliberate acceptance of an impersonation by Joan Oily is responsible for playing a key part in several Murders and numerous accidents. I think that Councillors whom I have known since the Thatcher era must have deliberately and knowingly accepted it. If, like several other A band pupils from the Broke Hall Estate her Father was a Cop, it might go some way toward explaining why she seems to have made suggestions, for example about Drug Use and Ethnicity that have a characteristically sarcastic and catastrophically maladroit semblance.

14 11 13

The first reason that official remarks about teenage drug experimentation in a criminal context were treated with a horrified sort of contempt by me was because an Officially supported attempt to Prostitute me had been made in my last years at Copleston. The manner in which Councillors and Legal Officials reacted to this is suggestive of Oily making suggestions about how such persons might rationalise and informally react to the former phenomenon whilst overlooking the latter. This can easily be said to have a bearing on the Murders of two acquaintances in particular that heralded Ipswich's decline as a social centre from the early eighties. One of these was Canute Lee a Jamaican Nightclub Bouncer and I don't know the name of the girl said to have been murdered in the Caribbean Club some months beforehand but on the basis of what I have been told about these events in the last decade, I think we were vaguely acquainted though I don't have the name.

I would say that the details of the Murder of the girl had been something which retains enormous capacity to embarrass ostensibly respectable individuals. If half of what has been said to me about it is true then it has to contain the suggestion that Councillor Mowles and various Officials had ignored allegations of fairly serious sexual misdemeanour and concomitantly accepted sarcastic and ill intentioned impersonating comments about the kind of society that immigrant manual workers could expect to find.

What is of the hypothesis that Oily was clearly opposed to anything like positive discrimination and made sarcastic suggestions which various acquaintances should have ignored. Whilst this may seem a little difficult to credit I have to point out that my hearing had been far too badly assaulted by my Mother and her present partner in framing their relationship. Being a child beggar from Dublin's post war Ghetto her sense of responsibility is absolutely nil and in simple terms she thinks that lying and blackmailing for any sort of short term gain is simply what people do.

The fact that the script which has been cooked up by Copleston School then Councillors and Legal Authorities has as its central element the omission of such references to Sexcrime directly correlates with a falsified appearance of a healthy community in which Luke Durbin went missing.

It is a simple fact: that if the Management of the Spreadeagle didn't carry out a sexual assault on me; the Police didn't lie about being taken in by them and didn't submit false reports to the CPS; that Solicitors didn't lie to me about how the matter would be dealt with in extracting my signature under false pretences & the CPS didn't lie to the Court then the people who abducted, raped and murdered Luke Durbin as it seems someone probably did, are logically innocent of any wrongdoing.

Of course there is officially no such story as that which suggests Councillors have been spreading false rumours about how white youths are happy to embrace ultraliberal sexual ideology in for example telling people it's OK to practise bisexual dogging with members of various immigrant communities.......

15 11 13

Last night's channel five documentary about Jeremy Bamber continues to add confusion to the understanding of many including myself. Few such cases can have left as many questions unanswered as this one has and it certainly makes a tantalising puzzle for the nation's amateur Criminologists with various conflicting accounts being given of family dynamics in respect of allegations about when for example the Bambers adopted children.

I'm very much afraid that for all the documentary style of the Programme the allegation that the participants are conspirators who have fitted up an unappealing spoilt young man with a Crime he was technically innocent of and which he had arguably cleverly engineered, perhaps without thinking about trying to with any particular deliberateness, stands up as well as any theory: it is my own favourite hypothesis but it should now be obvious as to whether or not Jeremy is really nursing a confession as it were.

This suggestion seems to arise principally from the quite reasonable looking suggestion that he surreptitiously devised the appearance that Sheila had been having mental health troubles of a given sort at a given time, that would conveniently explain the killings

There are numerous objections to the official version of events that have not been answered by the programme.

As far as I understand it: Julie Mugford was much more like a petty criminal in dire need of a break who Jeremy had jilted than some innocent shop girl and this wasn't even mentioned and I feel it clearly should have; witnesses on the programme who claimed to be familiar with Neville Bamber put him at 6 ft 1 inch tall despite it having been consistently stated anywhere else that I can find that he was 6ft 4 inches tall; the programme neither made any mention of the fact that the ballistics evidence as presented by the Essex Police has been pronounced as entirely false by some of the world's leading experts.

I'm afraid the country remains full of spoilt and unappealing young men (and women) in the Thatcher era and if there is one thing that deserves to be acknowledged it is the sense of the powerlessness of our societal infrastructure in dealing with the simple fact of human greed: that is to say I don't think Jeremy was very unusual in his tastes and predilections. The tensions within the Bamber family seem in many ways to mirror that of society at large with young people like Jeremy and myself being faced with a Tory Government that needlessly antagonised young intellectuals with poorly defined economic imperatives and a curiously reactionary social agenda. I suppose it's worth saying this is a clear weakness of two party democracy; on the one hand it can yield decisive action but does on the other often play into the hands of extremist idealogues. I have often pointed in this direction in terms of criticising a perceived tendency of the legal establishment to vacillate inconsistently in devising interpretations based on the superficial changes of political winds when it should be proffering a clear and consistent view of right and wrong.

The programme did include some new information which I have sought to query before, iro the fact that Neville Bamber was planning to divide the Bamber Estate between his adopted children Jeremy and Sheila. This tends to detract from the suggestion that either Jeremy or Sheila had a motive for the killings and clearly poses the suggestion that the Bamber's blood relatives did have a motive for cooking up the Prosecution with their friends in the Essex Police.

I'm afraid generally speaking that the programme had too much of a propagandistic air and that the message was too much in the way of telling people not to worry about Law and Legal Principle and trying to reinforce the message that they can trust the employees of the Ministry of Justice.

Quite frankly on the basis of my experiences I'd rather spend my afternoons practising Crocodile wrestling and among other things I'd like to know more about the allegation that Sheila Caffel owed money for Cocaine to the London Underworld.

19 11 13

There are at least several major points I need to make in respect of the narrative from Autumn this year

It's a difficulty with referencing material that I have noted before that whether One supplements previously dated entries or makes intermittent references to ongoing analyses and conclusions iro various matters it is always going to be less than perfectly expressed. I have to proffer that when I set out to publicise legal problems with a Website in the late nineties I had no idea that I would end up picking my way through my own memories in such detail or from anything like the perspective I have encountered.

It really is odd to say the least to find oneself recalling having tried to incite the shooting of my Mother, or her Sister(s) or whoever was behind the disappearance of familial assets prior to the age of four, and of then having by the age of five entirely forgotten the fact along with other key memories such as the fact my paternal Grandparents were engaged in a dangerously mutually antagonistic relationship. It is likely the case that I had never consciously realised this at the time and that what I am recalling is the instant at which one or other of the other adults involved in various largely unpleasant situations had realised the extrapolated significance of this fact. If what was underlying this was the fact of events of the late thirties having turned very significantly on the fact of their relationship then it would explain much. It ought to be clarified not the least in view of the fact of current debate about Europe as to exactly what did happen then. Much, perhaps most of what we are served up in terms of downwardly directed dialogue on matter of historical and political significance is intended in the first instance toward the maintenance of stability.

Despite leaving aside such sensational personal explanations for the fact of WW2 eventually erupting as the theory that Nazis were making behind the scenes comments about Jack the Ripper's identity involving the Jewish community and the peaceful or uninterrupted succession of Edward 7th, and the assertion that large sections of the Royal Family & the Upper Class had become embroiled in what became hardly less than a collective act of Treason, I find myself having to admit that whilst my wounded psyche and increasingly ailing body don't want to contemplate sensational explanations for immense personal legal difficulties if it is accepted that people still aren't quite discussing the historical facts honestly or openly and that the Abdication for romantic reasons concealed a face saving operation which was a great deal to do with the accompanying failure of the policy of appeasement of Germany at the centre of some kind of pan-european settlement in a new world order, then it does indeed make some sense to suggest that certain parties must have been responsible for it, and for the commencement of serious hostilities in 1940 on the part of the remainder of European Democracy which had belatedly stood up for its principles. What is unfortunately of the suggestion that our present Queen was about seven when certain parties manifested themselves as implacably hostile toward any serious accommodation with fascist Europe and that She, her Father and Family were allowed to jump ship from the appeasement party for the sake of national unity and stability as the Great Britain of the time gripped its will and held its breath with the Churchill's formal accession.

The point is to suggest that if the Royal Family had ever been visited with anything like any seriously unpleasant as the result of for instance Navy Chiefs contemplating refusals to hand over their ships as part of a deal with Hitler, then it might make some sense to say that if it were the case that something as statistically unlikely and sensational as some such personal exchange underlying some subliminal understanding of Royal behaviour on my Father's part, then a more robust fortysomething QE2 might conceivably be fingered as a hostile agent in the contention that my Grandfather's death was viewed as clumsy and/or suspicious. It seems worth reiterating that almost anyone who knew the details of my family situation at the time especially one key family of neighbours and my Father's near relatives all had a powerful motive for not exposing a story in which one of the central elements was the fact of career menacing Cocaine use. There seems little doubt that the Gangster Girl antics of my Mother's family had been misinterpreted and that what there was or had been in the way of genuine goodwill within my Father's family didn't for example subsequently allow for an honest account of what must seem the most likely scenario being that my Mother's Sister Bernadette who died about three years before my Father, had grabbed my Grandfather in the process of seeking to mock the lack of courage of those who might have made relevant accusations and that his Stroke was palpably the result of her unwanted attentions and hostile intentions which should have been better anticipated.

In seeking to explain the subsequent course of personal history another very interesting and quite plausible notion is that he did have time to plant a relevant suggestion of the possibly vengeful nature in that he took a Stroke at home but survived long enough to die in the Hospital. It makes more sense than One might easily think in that it now seems he and his Wife had arguably been trying to kill each other since the time they had met, his Daughter had missed the warning signs about the behaviour of my Mother's sister, and his Son was it seems far too embroiled in accusations of weird ultraliberal ideology to perceive such a menace if he wasn't simply deranged and uncaring.

Saying that he was clearly motivated by jealousy of what a lot of media figures had been getting away with in terms of the question of leading a respectable public existence, tends to necessitate the additional observation that this was likely true of many at the time whose insights were not matched by career success. If it were the truth as indeed it seems to be, that his Mother's family had cleared out his Father's of all but the trappings of a typical retired senior NCO then there is a more obvious material motive for an indebted Royal Family seeking to smile on his aspirations in certain respects perhaps.

My memories seem to suggest that Reggie Kray didn't like the manner in which my Father had acquired a teenage fancy piece under his nose when he reckoned she and her relatives obviously wanted to do business with him instead of accepting my Father as a marriage candidate. The fact she may have innocently thought my Father could or would pay for the quantities of Cocaine they extracted has been of no value to me in that enduring the consequences of her actions is not an ordeal which is at all mitigated by the motives for them in any way.

24 11 13

Since much may hinge on what is or is not accepted about my personal history it seems apt to counter the suggestion that I had some kind of understanding about Education at Copleston other than that which was to the effect that I had been generally speaking abandoned to the fact of indigence and unwanted offers of sexual interaction on the part of School authorities. It is increasingly more than a very tempting idea now that a certain nameless female Biology Teacher has played a more significant and mischievous role in various misunderstandings in that the suggestion seems to reasonably extrapolate toward a number of other misunderstandings. I don't think it quite outrageous to suggest that a proper analysis should commence with the suggestion that my English Grandmother and Mr Powell/Heinkel knew each other as fellow Euromaniacs if for somewhat different reasons. My Grandparents had lived hardly more than a decent stone's throw from the School and the photos taken in the late sixties arguably show him taking a moderately helpful interest in the hostility she has elicited: which as I understand it seems to be associated with some failure on the part of herself and her relatives to transfer certain assets back to her Husband's family after the then relatively recent War.

It may not be so important in terms of what happened to me at School back in Suffolk after her death in 1975 as it is in general terms that such an allegation does carry the suggestion of a plausible motive for some sort of character assassination. Insofar as anyone might have been interested as far as I know it is a coincidental fact I was known as a model of good behaviour at every other School I attended: of course it was never officially said by that School that I wasn't. If One values that sort of literate ability mine was quite deliberately wasted at Copleston, my good name was maligned and my intentions deliberately misreported whilst I found nothing to challenge me. I have mentioned elsewhere that MR Powell/Heinkel had assaulted me on my first day there and thereafter as one might well imagine went some way toward treating me with exaggerated caution. We certainly didn't develop any friendly kind of understanding, which he may have wanted people to think we had. He remained as I recall it quite distant from what was from my point of view an unmemorable train of events being jovial and a bit chummy on the odd School trip which punctuated four dismal years. If he felt impotent and unable to exercise his authority with people smoking and other commonplace infractions of discipline he might have thought about it before opting for such a politically sensitive career. Remarks about how the British had subdued the Zulu King Cetawayo after some mass re-enactments from hundreds of Schoolboys could have been oblique references to some perception of drug scandals in the family background.

I suppose that I have to conclude my favourite explanation for what happened at School has to consist of the observation that if fellow pupils had tried to help me iro my unusual, squalid and abject appearance that it had unfortunately become a means of undertaking some kind of laundry job on the reputation of white trash Irish: my Mothers sister who died in 2005 seems to have convinced certain people there that I knew her on some friendly basis when I hardly had more than a vague and uneasy recollection of her when moved back to Suffolk in '76 and certainly had no idea that she might have been trying to help me with my identity or that she knew things about my Father he clearly wanted to forget ....

It certainly seems quite true that whatever One thinks about the degree of conscious contrivance involved that certain situations evolved thereafter that did tend to undermine the fact of British, Justice, Influence, Authority and rather conduced toward favouring the notion of pan European interaction and integration especially where appertaining to the fact of human resources. The principal part of the answer as to how this has led to personal ruination lies in some reiteration of the absurdity of pursuing a Laundry Job on my Father's reputation at the most crucial time in my life. He had not only failed to take the most elementary steps iro my Socialisation and Education in insisting on moving in with his Sister who was it has now become obvious far too preoccupied with sinister acquisitive enthusiasm rather than being the innocent well meaning character she postured and as he tried to devise various increasingly upsetting arrangements including remarriage and prostitution instead of the obvious step of renting somewhere on benefits which would have been easy as a single parent. In the simplest term ns as far as it was ever practicable I thought my Father and his Sister socially inept to the point of moderate insanity but seem to have made the mistake of thinking they had no motive for behaving toward me with other than good intentions.

I had clearly stated my preferred intention as a fifteen year old was to acquire some sort of public housing in my own right insofar as I was at my wits end with relatives and had been since my Grandfather's death if not before. The failure to acknowledge this is very key to comprehension of how badly my existence has been mismanaged as without some understanding of what an irresponsible person my Mother also was and how little I had in the way of accurate infant memories it is difficult to understand how I fell prey as badly as I did to off the cuff housing arrangements which were too late to have bounced me through the education system which in terms of ability I probably deserved.

In seeking to explain the pointlessness of trying to adduce friendly social dynamics between the relatives my Mother was acquiring as my Grandfather died and myself one only had to look at the general situation. I think part of the reason why his marriage and my life went so badly is because some teenage girl had taken a liking to him when he was first arraigned for sexual offences in about 1960 and had said to him something very much like, give yourself to me or I will destroy it which isn't entirely unheard of insofar as they say all's fair in love and war. I think it quite plain from the photos on the CV that his Head Girl had a crush for him or something such and that his Courtship of my natural Mother reflects some belated awareness that someone had acquired a lot of dangerous personal information about him.

Apart from the specific prima facie suggestion that my Mother's latest paramour had been a key element of the fatal ill health which overtook my Grandfather and that she had engineered a fatal encounter over arguments about who was going to pay her debts and that generally she, they, or a number of people could have been in the frame for nothing less than an intentional murder you have only to look at the simple general fact that whether you blame some Irish girl for the fact or not, she had gone through my paternal family like a dose of potent and fast acting toxin: first her demands innocently phrased as they may have seemed, started bleeding money out of the family at a swift and increasingly devastating rate and fouled up my socialisation to the extent I could barely recognise her; my Father then moved nearly four hundred miles to a job on the Scots border which seems in retrospect unquestionably motivated by the fact of hostile criminal behaviour principally on the part of my Mother's older sister getting to the point of becoming unmistakeably apparent to me; a succession of tasteless strangers and new schools preceded my Grandfather's death soon after; then my Father lost the job he had struggled to hold onto; then I spent two years farming the most dismal squalid rain soaked corner of Lancashire until his Mother died; then my school career went pear shaped and he had tried to sell me to some Magistrate's Daughter.

It seems generally true that in seeking to account for the manner in which someone who had been arguably been one of the best junior English scholars in the country should have acquired the putative reputation of some mentally defective reject from a bad script for an unwanted episode of the Fenn St Gang as free education in the late seventies that whilst Teachers of European background have an inevitable tendency to favour their own interest groups I don't think it a generally unfair comment that Mr Powell allowed things to go wrong when real Brit probably would not. If it's true that the nameless lady science teacher had perhaps acquired some interested romantic desire as the result of over optimistic wishful thinking on the part of perhaps one or two girls including Joan Oily it might account for some impersonative misreporting in that at least a first sight so to speak, her voice does seem to be involved in conveying overoptimistic reports about my Father to local Politicians and others who are unquestionably far too keen on the idea that they were or are going to find some kind of useful or politically correct story; which implausible eventuality in fact lacked any practical or realistic basis to an extent which was entirely sinister.

It isn't really a complex or outlandish idea that I developed a negligible social intercourse with any female associated with Copleston School. I had even lost touch with a couple that went up to Northgate by the end of 1981 but the real point is that there has been at no time any good reason to associate me with any, or infer even minimal conversation with such a party: what has more obviously remarkably been very much of querying the nature of exchanges between other male pupils who were apparently or presumably friends of some sort.

My exchanges with the Biology Teacher on the subject of my quaint and squalid circumstances were confined firstly to the necessity of disposing of my Father's management which didn't happen until he conducted certain hasty and questionable ceremonies with an Asian Lady and disappeared abroad leaving me entirely despoiled of dignity, opportunity or resource of any sort except a questionable association with a cheap address on the wrong side of Town at twenty one years of age. I have always logically asserted that my actions in seeking to attain some command over matters were born of determination rather than some lack of scruple. That a trail of deception can plausibly be traced to a female teacher who may have misreported my motives because of a romantic sort of jealousy is statistically unsurprising as the huge numbers of responsible Politicians, Educationalists and Media Figures arraigned recently demonstrates amply: as far as odd facts go what's an odd Biology Teacher more or less I ask you.

What is of meaningfully hastening to add that my Grandmother was in many respects thought of as a Traitor and that there is more of interest iro her alleged exchange with a refugee Teacher than the suggestion she hated war for example. She and her family like many, had been badly pauperised by the fact of the Great War in her childhood but the real point is as far as she is concerned is that this was in fact serious and seems to motivate a longstanding attempt to get her married family into trouble whenever she could. The photographic evidence tends to suggest that she said they should have shut up about their family's missing fortunes and was resigned if not without some reluctance to living out a charade for their apparent benefit.

What is of asserting it to be quite plain that Mr Powell was significantly motivated by what he thought he knew about her: rather than for instance something I had genuinely sought to say.

27 11 13

It's difficult to describe the sense of betrayal and bewilderment that comes with what I see as the undeniable involvement of this Teacher in deliberately sown misunderstandings over several decades; of course you have to be me or someone who's very familiar with related persons and events to understand why this seems such a significant and incontrovertibly correct conclusion. All I had ever asked anyone at the School to do was dispose of my Father's deranged and disturbing parental management; it is unquestionably true that when they did not achieve this all the conversation they got from me amounts to buzz off. One has to presume that some interest from on high had been perceived to judge from the extent to which some plausible conversation has evidently been falsified.

With an Irish maiden name one has to presume that the Lady Biology Teacher originated from a working class north western labour voting conurbation and this probably plays a significant role in why she has so arguably framed such and such a hypothetical conversation as it were. It makes sense to adduce that someone of hardly thirty years of age from such a background quite likely had little real balanced insight into social and political issues in many respects, this with regard to the fact that certain ambitions were in fact impractical and unrealistic. Generally speaking I was completely devastated by the failure of putatively responsible authority to have found me at least something like a one bedroomed Council Flat in the area of the Town where I had attended School at the age of sixteen or seventeen at the latest: I could have found all sorts of useful help among contemporaries and I had really no larger ambition than that at the time.

In trying to wheedle down some of this interesting analytical material into some sort of useful definitive conclusions I have to go with the remark that this Teacher is a or perhaps even the key link in a chain of disastrous misunderstanding. I have to assert that an examination of the idea that she sold a conversation to mostly Labour Councillors about these events from the early eighties seems beyond doubt to be increasingly confirmed, and moreover that they continued to deliberately accepted by these Councillors which in turn conveyed a highly illusory impression to Legal Authorities. It's perhaps never quite fair to say that someone is to blame in certain respects but the notion this person was a key agent of such misunderstanding seems reasonable and appropriate. The fact that my personal circumstances were unusual to a most extraordinary extent that many highly intelligent individuals seem to have been left entirely confused is very difficult to appreciate, as is the extent to which my Mother failed to make reactions which almost anyone would have assumed she would and proves to be entirely devoid of any sort of conventional notion of social responsibility. It seems to be a reasonably accurate version of events that when this girl Oily had sought to convey an overoptimistic and conveniently plausible story to this new Teacher it soon led to the fact of an officially sanctioned Prostitution which my Mother went along with and partly embellished because it was what happened to her or perhaps rather it was what her Relatives did to her as a teenager. It is impossible to avoid making a personally relevant comment to the effect that I had little real idea that this was how she should be viewed when I asked her to try and get across to the Solicitor Smythe that my Father really was a disturbed and suspicious character who had hardly less than fled the country in order to evade a discussion of legal and social responsibility.

I think it plain that a number of extremely unfortunate and many fatal incidents, accidents, and assaults stem directly from the help given by the School and Mr Powell toward what many Conservatives did in fact know was nothing more than a convincing deception that had attached my good name, reputation and ability to the Labour Bandwagon of Jamie Cann and co in the early eighties. What I suppose is not so obvious is the allegation there might seem reason to believe that Neville Bamber was informally and unofficially perhaps witting of the allegations about my Father's personal history with regard to suggestion it's political significance had been disguised; his assassination may have been significantly consequent of some sort of informal understanding that he was at least supposed to know about certain ongoing situations related to the fact of my Father's curious existence.

Perhaps the best way to explain why so much enthusiasm for contriving and accepting useful and plausible looking stories about me on the part of the political and perhaps the legal establishment lies in what it seems reasonable to infer was the fact that as a Tory my Grandfather had, it seems to fit the known historical facts found himself double crossed by an Appeasement conspiracy extending through the upper reaches of the COnseervative Party headed by Neville Chamberlain. It seems to be the case that he had made surprising friends from among the Labour Movement whom it hardly needs to be said had reasons of their own for wanting to deal with that situation. The detailed truth remains of course a source of embarrassment to many, not lest those who have done well out of nationalist politics of one sort or another without sacrificing a great deal. Anyhow the rest, as they say is history, the so called Democracies had to go to War against fascism in Europe and the extent to which the right wing of the political establishment in Britain and France remains obviously instanced all too well by the shall we say continuing ideological suspicion of the Conservative Party today. So if it seems difficult to believe that I can have been targeted for the sort of deceptions I claim to have been the victim of, then in very broad terms it seems fair now to point out that it isn't implausible to suggest that my paternal family had been closely associated with events that contributed much to the making of many top flight careers in the Labour Party since at least the thirties, and perhaps as far back as Edward 7th's threat to create thousands of Liberal Peers if Conservatives attempted sabotage of social and political reforms like Female Suffrage and the State Pension.

Notes

Insert section about the murders of Rosie Hunt, Desmond Thorpe & the Gerry Morecambe link. 28 11 13

Last Saturday's BBC documentary about the activities of the Military Reaction Force in Ulster during the Heath Government of the early 70's will have raised a few eyebrows.

I like to put the unfortunate conclusions to the admissions implicitly made by military and civil authorities alongside other very different observations about the necessity for informed and discriminating voting behaviour based on a valid and rational World View. It might easily seem a fair comment to say that it is in this respect that One has to consider what sort of valid or acceptable reasons might exist for the failure of the right wing of the British political spectrum to evolve a coherent sort of raison d'etre or philosophy that has some resonance with the norms and values of a lengthening post war period and the 21st century. When it is of course the case that I have always advocated a World View that mercilessly hammers home what I think is the key message about what happened to political authority in WW2. It may seem clever and serve a number of short term ends for Conservative Politicians to seek to disguise the truth about the extent to which we should look upon the most serious and apparently responsible of our ruling class as silly bloody monkeys who are strictly speaking all the most appalling failures, but it would be much cleverer if the point could somehow be accepted and fitted into a conventionally understandable sort of political philosophy and/or a concomitant communications strategy.

The admissions specifically made in the Programme amount to a similar sort of order of magnitude of general absurdity that accompanies the Prosecution of endless Media figures from the last forty years in respect of sexual misdemeanours and predatory behaviour in terms of the manner in which we are constantly subjected to the suggestion that society is well ordered by Law and Democracy. Apparently various candidates were selected for a Platoon sized special unit which was given weapons, plain clothes and unmarked cars then told to go out onto the streets of Belfast and use their initiative. The result of this had been that they had started shooting blokes who were gossiping on the street and happened to have near some barricades whilst about their ordinary business in coming home from the Pub or returning from a Girlfriend's home, killing about eight entirely innocent people before the Unit's disbandment.

One cannot help but wonder if given the ongoing massive campaign of Prosecutions against mostly Labour associated media figures over the issue of sexual offences, as to whether the next Labour Government might consider chasing up some of the Tory associated Goons who've managed to prevent a media furore about such antics whilst Tony Blair was organising Devolution and implicitly surrendering key ground to the forces of regression: fact is I suppose that the Minister responsible for this may already have been blown up.

29 11 13

So where was I, oh yes of course.

Once it is accepted that the School authorities had allowed an attempt at institutionalised Prostitution of a fourteen year old to take place which is what I have always alleged is what did actually happen, the rest of a breathtaking decline in civic order becomes more explicable as a plausible extrapolation of the details of that particular murky and dangerous little plot. Whilst there are a lot of interesting details that various parties will want to clarify, the essential element seems to be that the Cormacks had partly attempted to refer to an ill conceived impersonation on the part of the Girl Oily, whom if she was not a Policeman's daughter herself was among a group including several girls who were. Once that had been shabbily and with considerable ill grace been improperly managed and investigated by a number of grubby and intellectually inadequate Teachers and a few other associated individuals a well as the fact perhaps of a few other less able pupils like Gerry Morecambe having been taken in, it was despite what must have been clear warning signs to the contrary then accepted by several Councillors whom it seems must have been pretending to have made any genuine attempt to bring anyone to book for the kicking's I'd had as far back as the end of '76.

It is a very key point of understanding that what is very much of the allegation or suggestion (one which I should add, in fact originates from someone other than myself) that I then became associated with Labour when the point was of being generally dissatisfied with the postured realities of local government and party politics on the whole; it seems I also started to get noticed a bit by legal authorities who were keen to shall we say try and impose various interpretations of fashionable social and legal conservatism and for various motives, some of which I am obviously keen to substantiate were entirely unwholesome, in spending a lot of time in the Pubs and carousing around Town: which as a matter of fact was the only really sensible, worthwhile or enjoyable preoccupation that was realistically open to me.

At this point Oily was it seems insofar as she had more or less been deliberately mistaken as myself, then trying to make interesting concealed sorts of suggestions about things that had taken place and with regard for example to how Councillors should view certain other interesting matters. So I suppose the key statement is that a proper or thoroughgoing investigation of the alleged Caribbean Club Murder of '83 would have exposed a significant number of Teachers, PolicePersons and Councillors to the allegation of complicity with what in principle amounts to institutionalised Prostitution as well as clumsily trying to get away with simultaneously putting about mutually contradictory stories about widespread use of soft drugs, and a number of associated crimes like deliberately mismanaging welfare provisions.

Suffice it to say that this didn't happen but that it does plausibly connect the allegation that I have been seriously and deliberately misunderstood by legal authorities with all too arguably dangerously sinister motives for several decades while careers in the local 'liberal establishment' accepted convenient deceptions and crime rates in the Town rose dramatically.

Whilst it may seem contentious I think the families of the two boys Scott Towler and Dean Bloomfield killed on Bishops Hill a few years ago by a maddened Indian Gentleman in a motor vehicle can in fact be quite reasonably connected to the suggestion that Oily had sought to assist Cllr Mowles conduct implicit Blackmail of households suspected of having some kind of financial angle on the black market in drugs. It is of course quite possible to reasonably blame various aspects of an imperfect society for such an occurrence but I don't think it quite unreasonable to point out these particular personal circumstances are arguably appertaining to that and perhaps a few other apparently inexplicable incidents like the Murder of Danny O Connor a few years beforehand. It's very difficult to make such a statement without pointing out that a proper or full analysis really needs to be considered before firm conclusions can be made with any legal sort of certitude; if for example Oily had inveigled several families of PolicePersons in a failed script about what was at the bottom line on the subject of a little ignorance of under aged sex it then makes sense to accept that they were all obviously then keen to subsequently steer the conversation toward an exaggerated interest in illicit drug use.

There are in general obviously many sub plots to this major hypothesis: for instance someone seems to be telling me that a certain Australian ex forces gentleman with local connections was known to have unceremoniously banged a 16 yr old Jehovah's Witness's daughter, whom was among youthful individual town centre crowds that in certain respects significantly witnessed what Jamie Cann and the labour faction were seen to be putting about by '82. She has been under Psychiatric supervision ever since and it is an interesting remark that a significant number of people from among acquaintances of her age and weren't by any means what One might call 'bright young things,' similarly became basket cases whilst following an illusorily positive looking conversation about Opposition prospects that had become more attached to my name than it should have. As an aside the remark probably makes more sense if it is borne in mind that most people in the Town under the age of 21 actually knew each other to a significant and surprising extent at that point in history. Whilst I could be wrong or partly wrong about one or two such stories as are appertaining to the recent history of the Borough it is in fact the sort of detail that One would expect to find if the central element of the criticisms I make of local political leadership is generally true.

02 12 13

Opposition Councillors used to drink in a Bar with members of the public after meeting in the Town Hall with both locations overlooking the Town's centre square and hadn't to say the least been seen to frown on under aged drinking or pot smoking prior to the mid eighties. This didn't strike me as that odd given what had taken place in my latter School career though it does now seem the case that my memory has not been functioning as it should. What is very much in looking back at the minutiae of suggestions made about me and of reiterating that when it comes down to it conversation about what sort of educational (and other) investment might be applied to certain bright attractive young things, doesn't really translate into such cheerful conversation about the company of anyone who would be old enough to vote within a year or two.

It may seem an irrelevant digression but the inference has to be that an older crowd of people some of whom were involved in events and deaths in the year following my Father's, were still being influenced by the somehow acquired perception that firstly I had some perhaps unusually liberal views and that young impressionable desirable liberal company was associated with me by them in some way I had not understood. If during the course of woolly mindedly misshaping my reputation at all my the only vaguely functioning local Councillor had become to a significant extent culpably involved in ignoring, shall we say a paternal than a fraternal role over the same thirty years, it might constitute something like a reasonable explanation as to why things fell out so badly. When I met Desmond Thorpe which was only about seven years or so ago now he did what might seem commonsensical in terms of the way One would roughly expect a respectably retired workingman to be humming along with his local Representative and he did end up getting Murdered. Whilst I do have a personal motive for saying so it is difficult to avoid observing that on this occasion the reality was I had implied that the Councillor's presence lacked a beneficent influence. It is probably also true that it isn't the result of anyone's personal iniquity that modern media have undermined the way that such socially significant gossip is traditionally handled: if that isn't too much of an exaggeratedly meaningful interpretation of life in different sorts of communities prior to about 1990ish.

One such case is that of a local Man Clove Edams resident to the south of the Town who is fairly atypical of those who had been teenagers in the late sixties and seventies whom I saw about a bit in 2002ish when I was briefly resident of Stoke Park with my Father: he is an acquaintance of our Antipodean friend (shall we call him Sidney Massey) who had probably adduced that educational and welfare authorities were being followed by local Politicians in some studied ignorance of the sexual exploitation of minors. It seems to be the case (and I do say seems) that Clove Edams has jealously studied what it seems had happened between Mr Massey and a fairly illiterate girl from a religiously extreme family. He may not have been the original or prime mover in circulating deceptions that were apparently wanted by Labour Councillors but we are for instance no longer on speaking terms in that it became apparent at that time early in the last decade that he was firstly, wrongly going along with gossip suggesting I was willingly involved in petty employment housing fraud, secondly and also wrongly, that I was at all understanding of my Father's weird socially ultraliberal ideology. Those who knew me well should have realised that I found his demeanour unreservedly disturbing and that I should never have been housed with him once he had refused not only any discussion, but even the most basic of admissions to his having a history of sexual impropriety.

I should perhaps reiterate a bit more of what has been said about this key point in my personal history. Much of it has of course only recently become comprehensible to me. What is of insisting that it is highly relevant to the fact of seeking to clarify mistakes that NHS and Welfare people have made with regard to my case. What is for example very much of suggesting that Chris Schonbeck was hardly less than murdered by Indian NHS Workers when he roughly tried to point out that many of the key individuals associated with left of centre politics in the Borough were hardly less than accessories to scheming Sex Offenders whose progressive multiracial proselytising was far too arguably an institutionalised deception concealing thoroughly self interested motivation and playing a key role in the evolution of high profile crimes. I remain insistent that shortly thereafter an Indian Surgeon deliberately removed good teeth after deciding on the basis of superficial and inadequate observation that I was something to do with unwholesome right wing political interests: the references I had made to local political figures in fact tended to criticise the inadequacy of or political system in general rather than one party or another within it.

This Jehovah's witness's daughter, shall we call her Shula Sheen, was a bit coarse and by the standards of the bright young things who dominated the Town's youthful society, quite empty headed if probably a basically decent person and she had fallen in with a young Irish vagrant emigre whose name was at the time shall we say Annabel Whelping, who came from the same Dublin district as my Mother. She and a number of others appear to have realised at this time that my Mother's marriage was a very coarse sort of mutual blackmail which Whelping in particular seems to have sought to duplicate in trying to eavesdrop on people and singlemindedly gather all the interesting personal information she could in the wake of the negligent deceptions apparently put about by Jamie Cann and John Mowles in particular. The general point here is to say that a lot of contemporaries who were familiar with downtown society at that time and weren't bright young things have sought to follow the putative advice or suggestions of these Councillors and found themselves variously condemned as this or that sort of lunatic in the process of finding a much more demanding conversation than is required to qualify for a vote: among other things it seems apt to say that it shouldn't be the case that people who are simply rude and nosy should be considered respectably mentally ill. It seems relevant to add at this point that generally speaking nationalist interest was not something that we were encouraged in as School leavers from around 1980; as far as I can recall we were told that things were supposed to work and that if they did not it was reasonable to expect financial compensation. If by the time I had reached the age of 21 or so and had the strange feeling that in some way I was, as a bright young thing being asked to try to improve the nature of political dialogue on an avocational or semi professional basis in some respect, I had dismissed it as an absurdity given the genuine harshness of my personal history present situation and entire lack of resources. Whelping's personal career history makes an interesting contrast with that of another Irish Girl born in the mid sixties Linda 'O' Knockers who along with the Head Girl in my year at Copleston was in Revd Tricker's RE Class; she, ie the former had taken an ordinary Job working in a local Co-op and seems to have uneventfully managed to pay off a Mortgage and raise a family within the last ten to fifteen years.

A lot of interesting material is surfacing here obviously and it seems appropriate to point out that in terms of the issues of accountability and responsibility that Councillors did know they had been given a faulty story/impression by Teachers from Copleston and continued to play up to what they knew was an unwanted impersonation on the part of one Biology Teacher in particular. The Caribbean Club Murder of '83 may therefore have ensued from certain individuals or a certain individual trying to make remarks about one or other interest groups associated with the conversation of Labour Councillors, having black market interests and feeling emboldened enough by the superficially wholesome appearance of local democracy to phrase implicit remarks about sharing soft drug caches. If that's true then the Murder of the Jamaican Immigrant Canute Lee in nearby Bar at around the same time and the question of the amounts of money changing hands in a black market in soft and hard drugs being almost entirely ignored by conservative interests happy with their parliamentary majority should probably be associated with it: though at this moment in time what has been related to me is that Mr Lee had a love rival.

What had eventually been related to me by friendly acquaintances by 2006 was that the matter of a friendly looking acquittal by a right leaning Shire Court in 1993 of two locally known rightist skinheads for the incident of butchering a down and out man Perry Mason and his pet dog directly stemmed from perceptions that the Jamaican community had been backchatting the failure of local authorities to contrive a Prosecution for the alleged fact of the Caribbean Club Murder of ten years before. What is unfortunately of having to notice that the fact of the Steven Lawrence Murder that year can all too arguably be in turn linked to unwholesome such perceptions about politics and crime. It seems an also unavoidable remark that the picture of Mr Lawrence which has become the defining picture of him, does bear a resemblance to another first generation Jamaican Immigrant man (who does have connections to Ipswich) called Vernon Mussington who happens among other things to have tried to mug me in about 1986-7 and is I believe an acquaintance of Prince Charles via some pet charitable project or other of his: what is of recalling that he had seemed surprised not only that I had nothing about my person, but that I simply had nothing.

These observations about the realities of local government and certain of those who have sought to profit from promotion of Ipswich as a Unitary Council with a cultured sort of Cafe Society very much goes with the Abduction theory in the disappearance of Luke Durbin; in which respect as far as I know the favourite theory is that he was being driven around Woodbridge by members of the African ethnic group the day after his disappearance from Ipswich Town centre, who couldn't find the sort of voluntary friendliness that forms the basis of the sort of social and political propaganda to which they have been exposed or subjected and has less then voluntarily constrained into some Brixton Basement from which he has as yet to emerge: either that or he has been permanently entombed under one of the thousands of hedgerows that line the roads into north Ipswich. One cogent remark that seems worth making about this is to the effect that local government is in personal terms far more orchestrated from above than evolved from below as it were and that an awful lot of people, some of them surprisingly intelligent, have a completely erroneous view of meaningful participant politics. I have to say that the Opposition queue for prestigious or lucrative position in the early eighties had a very curious talent for eliciting respect and interest in local government which it almost entirely did not deserve. One symptom of this was perhaps that they were keen to pay lip service to how you say egalitarian ideology in the hope of reward and that they would have been more respected by for example the Jamaican community in general, if they had given the loud young males from this community some stick instead of retreating every which way but lose from criticising members of such ethnic minorities. It is of course a horribly oversimplified remark ands very difficult to evaluate how much truth there may be in it, in that not everyone agrees on what is conservative and what is not: I cannot help but feel that there is a significant element of truth in it. I myself tend to speak from the assumption that drug prohibition is in fact considered to be a widely discredited white elephant vehicle for pseudo morality and my notion of social conservatism tends to say that people should be more careful with the norms and values of romantic and familial relationships than they should worry about drug legislation that appeared little more than an unwanted embarrassment to Conservative Politicians in the early eighties and is on the basis of current trends surely likely to be significantly dismantled within thirty years at most.

East Suffolk is of course a very conservative place and the Internet is doing more than just embarrassing people who thought themselves intelligent and discriminating voters, acquiring and exchanging useful information instead of following the outworn political rhetoric of the Wilson/Heath era. In terms of attitudes toward Crime and the activities of the Crown Prosecution Service it might for example have often occurred to many concerned citizens, that victimising statistics isn't good or well considered meaningful justice at a community level and it is relatively novel for citizens to be easily able to discuss relevant published statistics in a worthwhile context. In other words it is the fact of the matter that the general public has historically been forced to accept highly theoretic interpretations and manipulated facts and figures coming months and years in arrears from second or third hand sources. For example it seems to be generally accepted that the Murder rate in the UK recently topped a thousand annually though it isn't easy to find honest responses as to what proportion of these are variously prosecuted, solved, or result in a Conviction. That in itself was rather more than I had imagined but is quite believable; within the last fortnight I have heard it alleged that a similar number disappear permanently each year and that is probably about ten times what the everyday citizen tended to assume.

Today's Independent article on the subject quotes unnamed Police sources as saying that approaching 20 000 people in the UK have been missing for more than a year and that at any one time a thousand unidentified bodies are lying in the nation's hospitals and mortuaries many of whom have been there for years. It is therefore remarkably evident that there must be some plausible analysis as to where they have gone, specifically, one which constitutes an unfortunately much overlooked sort of functional self examination of the murkier side of national life and societal self identity. Even allowing for the significant proportion of those who could reasonably be deemed as probable suicides, spontaneously random sorts of undiscovered killings and those who have likely died in captivity, it is a very disturbing conclusion that a lot of misunderstood conversation on the subject of Blairite Britain and Prime Minister Cameron's "Big Society," in fact points toward the existence of a large number of individuals being incarcerated in some form of slavery which very unpleasant allegation we have as a society largely thus far ignored in terms of intranational dialogue: more logistical effort is apparently put into tracing missing cars than people and One's impulse is to assume that this betokens some official unwillingness to confront such an uncomplimentary demon in the national psyche.

The simple awfully plausible postured magnitude of this particular statistical suggestion is very disturbing indeed in that no matter how skeptically One examines the suggestion it is a perfectly reasonable assumption that the Household of Fred and Rose West at 25 Cromwell St Gloucester which was bared to the world's appalled gaze in 1994, is likely the tip of a vast undeclared iceberg which has been casting a cold shadow through our vision of national life in terms of common preconceptions about the daily, weekly, monthly and year to year existence of the general population.

Such a perception and the obvious need for it to be addressed is I think going to be very key to the evolution of political ideology in the years immediately ahead. Lecturing African Despots about not butchering attractive wildlife to feed the demands of Asian quack medicine is for example going to be much more effective if we are a society that does not merely sweep evidence of its own iniquity under the carpet. I prefer to place the suggestion that there is something of a most significant scandal here alongside the suggestion that the so called upper class was rendered more significantly functionless than is often diplomatic to suggest by the World Wars of the last century, especially in terms of an objective developmental sort of perspective on social development over decades. I feel it is a perfectly reasonable extrapolation of that suggestion in particular that the fact of drug prohibition can be ideologically viewed as an attempt by a morally bankrupt and as I say, in many ways curiously functionless elite to promulgate the illusion that people need to be managed in more or less the same way as they were before the outbreak of the Great War presaged a breakdown of the class system and a questioning of the notion of the moral superiority of the ruling class. I think it needs to be hammered home to certain types of conservative audiences that trying to wage a morally bankrupt and questionably motivated war on drugs is having much more of a negative impact on the State's ability to fight numerous really serious problems: illegal immigration; trafficking of endangered species; trafficking of hazardous biological material such as bushmeat foodstuffs; the passage of arms and munitions across our borders and Cyberterrorism as well as having a powerful negative impact on necessary intrasocietal command and control in general than is readily conceived by those who don't have up to date, relevant or first hand insights.

What happens when the several million or so of the most socially active and intellectually creative people are being demonised by the nannying pseudo morality which the argument has it is what constitutes the thinking behind the drug laws in western society, is that in a place like Britain where there is a relatively high turnover of transient individuals and numerous resident communities of varying origins, not everyone readily comprehends the evident existence of institutionalised double standards and the fact that the country is still arguably obsessed with a stubborn sort of historical conservatism that sits ill on the need for some kind of assimilation of new technology into the traditional way of life. The larger mass of those for instance who are not so literate and discerning as the children of domestic white collar interest groups tending to be engaged in more routine economic activity such as members of European and colonial communities, is that they fail to discriminate particularly well between issues like that of recreational drug use and other issues where there is no real significant dispute or respectable contrary view such as in the case of various sorts of financially motivated black marketeering and the smuggling of potentially dangerous Organisms into the Country whether it be e.g. disease carrying micro-organisms in questionably sourced foodstuffs, or an exotic pet like the Mink or the Grey Squirrel that could escape, breed and disrupt the domestic ecosystem. The point is that the less well educated and integrated interest groups tend to apparently or presumably accept that there is a general sort of ideological flaw with legal authority, rather than just a significant democratic demur on a significant issue. In the bigger picture this catastrophically undermines efforts at Conservation in the less developed world, because when conservative interests in a supposedly yadayadayada, democratic society simply ignore their own public opinion at will, western nations appear disreputable and discreditable in the eyes of huge numbers of their own people and the perception evolves that these authorities will routinely disseminate convenient fictions, simply cannot be trusted and the assumption tends to be made that if they are institutionalising hypocrisy or simply seen to be clumsily lying about moral and ideological issues, then economically challenged communities in places like sub saharan africa are enormously motivated to think there isn't much point in taking any notice of what they are being told about global warming and the advisability and necessity of the application of ecological scientific method, even when it obviously conduces to the general edification of various nations and peoples. In other words when people from less educated and prosperous parts of the world see the sort of supposedly morally superior people like those who have prospered during and since the Thatcher era in this country making such a pointless and expensive charade out of Drug Prohibition when real victims of crime go neglected and criminal gangs thrive on the black market, they tend to think and not without some justification that the values of our society are generally flawed and that World Leaders are also being less than pragmatically truthful about the necessity for measures to combat global warming and conserve disappearing species of flora and fauna.

06 12 13

I'm hoping it is going to be the case that various authorities will comprehend that it is part and parcel of trying to make an application for the Criminal Cases Review Commission that as the result of conversation with the GP's Surgery the unusual question of some interest from on high led to the suggestion that if there were any truth in it that it would unquestionably have been accompanied by a powerful motivation on the part of those who have known me to a greater and lesser extent over the years to generate conversation and ideas prejudiced by any such perception which could plausibly account for the nature of what to some extent should obviously be described as personal communications problems. In view of the particular remark that I have despite some arguably extreme personal experiences been unable to find as much as the slightest scrap of meaningful legal advice or representation it therefore isn't merely a good idea to try and trace the fault as it were but is also a line of thought which holds the promise of personal resolution and legal exoneration even if it is unfortunately the case that I can't get my life back.

I haven't been able to do this hastily and indeed the fact of the matter is that I was completely surprised by the failure of the local Police to take particular offence at the behaviour of my half brother's involving the fact of the decease of our Father and at almost everything that has happened since and I have to admit that there shouldn't be that much of a reason why so many Officials I have made relevant exchanges with in that time as well as acquaintances generally should be so badly failing to comprehend the precise nature of my situation given for example that I have consistently related the same tale over decades.

I have explained a lot and at a practical level I may still have some good reasons for holding onto certain interesting secrets and ideas but the point is that in the short term my next bout of letter writing and official application making not only has to be bang on the mark but I also have be prepared to back it up in that I have to keep myself quite free from other considerations while trying to file my Library up, keep abreast of daily tasks and remain prepared to expand the volume of correspondence as meaningless time wasting responses from corrupt and worthless Officials pile up.

Does it seem ridiculous that my memories seem to point toward the suggestion that sometime in the latter 1960's somewhere between England winning the World Cup and a burnt out Judy Garland being found dead slumped over an expensive west end bathroom suite that ER had ordered Reggie Kray to hand over some of his black market winnings to Mr Whiting iro the family's war losses (or was it the late Princess Margaret), who was neither senior nor junior at the time and that during the course of acting deaf and trying to jealously hooking his teenage fancy piece with bad debts for Cocaine ended up dying in Prison? Well it wasn't a literal fact. The notion could easily be put alongside the suggestion that Mr Whiting was trying to make Ronnie help him do some funny things to the Queen's gutache instead. The idea is ridiculous and preposterous no doubt but it does so happen to be an interesting fact for example that her husband has lots of quaint German relatives whose likely displeasure at any grain of truth therein may be reflected in the unfortunate outcome: the Krays it is true were also known to be lacking in depth for some of the roles they imagined themselves cut out for, at least prior to such an unusual opportunity to read lots of books. What is of unfortunately having to say that society at the time was much more Gangster ridden at Street level than historians care to reminisce about, that things like widespread black marketeering did give rise to a lot of worthwhile commentary about the true nature of the society we live in and that again, if there is a significant grain of truth therein then the suggestion has to be that they have significantly managed to remotely impinge on the fact of my existence and as I now seem to notice or recall, it was a somewhat better idea to have been caught trying to do funny things to the Queen's gutache than it was to be caught managing an exploitive criminal empire.

If the notion is a paranoid delusion of some sort then it is one which just happens to bear an uncannily plausible relation to known fact and the notion that I might have been something to do with it, possibly a significant element of an explanation for clumsy unjustifiable remarks on the part of questionably motivated local authorities that I should be furnished with a taste of life in such an establishment.

Perhaps the central element of my personal story in childhood and infancy insofar as it is of general interest or concern to taxpayers, voters, householders, various public servants and other statistics lies in relating inescapable conclusions from the discovered memories of the last seven or eight years to what was contemporary debate about Gangsterism with particular regard to the remark that I suppose is parallel to current debate about military intervention in the middle east. This goes something along the lines of saying that if technically superior western nations start slinging Tomahawks and hi-tech weaponry at Dictator X because Y amount of political prisoners have been executed against commonly held notions of basic human decency it may seem justified but if Z amount of people are killed in the process and A amount of people continue to perish monthly or annually then you haven't managed to do the population of Country B any favours. The point being that a parallel argument is of course often employed by various sorts of researchers and analysts both amateur and professional with regard to the social and historic inevitability of Crime Lords such as the Krays in such a time and place as sixties London and the short term consequences of their removal from society being in many respects counterproductive to the chances of vulnerable individuals not being a victim of crime in such an Urban sort of community.

The gist of what seems to have taken place is that in evading acknowledgement of an explicit command that was probably significantly accompanied by some qualification to the effect of don't try openly quoting me on it Reggie seems to have accused my Father's family of failing to fight my Mother's family for caches of Cocaine. The Policemen trying to follow the exchange seem to have won the argument that among other things he thereby became an exploitive Pimp rather than some kind of benevolent paternalistic figure necessarily governing a society where black marketeering and a lot of other Crime was the subject of much institutionalised hypocrisy. My Grandfather seems to have tried to assert that Reggie deliberately gave this to my Mother's family or let them take it so he could exploit the situation for his gratification and that he had rather staged a conversation with the voice of my solitary maternal Uncle's eldest Son who was one of two older first Cousins that I had and as far as I know still do have, instead of having an honest conversation with me: what is of the presumption that when the Krays lost control of themselves in comparatively gratuitous killings that Reggie was under fire from various quarters iro this deception. This seems to have had a significant bearing on subsequent events in that this is generally what seems to be the central conclusion appertaining to the sum of my 'discovered memories,' in recent years and the fact being for example that the first obvious deduction was that they suggested my Father did have a motive for making entirely false allegations in 2002. This deception iro the voice of an older Cousin or Cousins seems to have had some significant bearing on subsequent events in that the suggestion I ever had any sort of understanding or psychological rapport with my Mother's family was a pauperising put up job which others subsequently found other motives to accept and in some cases build upon. For example, when I made what seemed an obvious comment or two in the direction of the local Constabulary in the early to mid nineties about the Irish Troubles I assumed it was actually known that I wasn't and hadn't been involved in any sort of serious conversation or situation of any sort of genuinely sort of friendly nature with them in any really meaningful sense: I had as I say never really been allowed the opportunity to be anything like genuinely friendly or familiar with my natural Mother in a genuine or fundamental way and had no idea that she had any motive for cultivating the subsequent fiction that I knew her in terms of actually being familiar with her memories let alone one that might have been highly or overwhelmingly significant.

The event of the Death of Nelson Mandela yesterday contains a salutary reminder of the fallibility of our own society and the allegation that among other things the moral hypocrisy and short term economic determinism that governs day to day life far too much of the time is as arguably responsible as anything for the diplomatic debacle that is instanced by the fact of large scale civil troubles in Syria and the Middle East.

Whilst there's a lot that could be said about that I suppose a couple of things leap foremostly to mind in respect of making worthwhile insights and one is of course obviously the fact that within the last twenty years 'Madiba' had changed from being an incarcerated Terrorist to the status of one of History's most respected political leaders. Aside from the fact it does tend to suggest very strongly that the norms and values we take for granted in Middle England can easily be found to be flawed, he also uncannily demonstrated that diplomatic ability is not entirely the preserve of quick talking English speaking white European legalists.

I am irresistibly drawn to memories of my Father telling me about how he and others in the London University Student's Union had dumped the Queen Mother from her honourary presidency and elected an imprisoned Mandela as a snub to the political and social morality of the late 1950's.

This was without doubt one of the better things he had done with his life!

In dealing with the realities of the global village economy many western politicians have since the dawning of the Internet leaned to a much greater extent than many care to admit on the perception that with the forces of militarism and fascism that had menaced the World in the earlier half of the century defeated, the immediate aftermath of WW2 represented a massive social revolution with the most enormous and fundamental implications for the future evolution of not merely the human race in general but also for all life on the planet. It is a demonstration of some relevant insight to realise that if billions of its less prosperous human citizens are to accept this rationale as a basis for peaceful and co-operative action between peoples, then it had to have some more immediately significant ramifications than was instanced by the fact of just accepting that doing business with regimes like that of apartheid era South Africa and Rhodesia in the seventies, should continue to be a fact of life, when basic principles of democratic consensus such as freedom of speech, a secret ballot and universal adult suffrage were held in racial militaristic contempt by these regimes.

07 12 13

A lot of the feedback I might seem to be getting could easily appear to agree with the suggestion that this nameless Biology Teacher was the key Agent of misunderstanding over some decades now. It should be possible to mop up the details within a few days now; it seems appropriate in thinking of drawing up some fairly firm conclusions that people are free to believe what they will in respect of historical perspectives and conspiracy theories and that it isn't important insofar as the issue I set out to deal with when I first took to the Internet was to protest my meaningless and entirely worthless legal representation within the perspective of my status as a citizen and with regard to the questionable conduct of Officials appertaining to the County Council in various respects.

Obviously I don't like having to introduce sensational speculative material at this stage of the narrative but there you are it can't really be helped. Given the complete sort of mystifying failure to find official stories concurring with actual experiences over some decades and the appalling sum of what has unfailingly and suspiciously foundered at every turn throughout my lifetime I don't think it wise to avoid confronting the suggestion that certain situations can reasonably be said to ensue from particular events. Copleston School wasn't exactly a high achieving establishment in the late seventies and one version of exchanges between this Teacher and myself could be said to have consisted of something as contrasting as the suggestion that what got said was that the better pupils were better at teaching the rest of the Pupils than the Teachers were. My Father had a few items left over from smallholding days in Lancashire that were of some use in basic experiments and demonstrations but rather than such a situation leading to anything positive in 1978 it can really only be concluded that what happened was a disastrous exercise in underachievement with about one and a half O levels being the average: from what I hear about annual test results and this sort of thing people do much better nowadays.

I didn't deserve to be talked down to and subjected to criminal neglect because I postured conversation that was out of the depth of most adults including perhaps this Biology Teacher. Whatever else might have been said some kind of convenient rapport with my Mother's family was not really a practical idea. The manner in which she had produced a fresh Partner was traumatic and hostile enough even if he hadn't been as abrasive a psychological mismatch as he was and it being a fact that he was quite likely considered a bigger nuisance in most respects than was my own Father. Of course at the time I had no conscious reason to think that he would set out to ruin my life chances because he wasn't that happy about his marriage with my not really recalling anything specific about her that wasn't vague and uneasy. I've mentioned most of what was relevant to my time at that School including the fact that the English teacher who in theory should have been the mastermind of some attempt to do something worthwhile with my time there had mysterious fits of sickness throughout the final year which in hindsight can easily be said to point to some unusual circumstance having been poorly managed.

It is however a relatively new idea that an acquaintance Gerry Morecambe had misinterpreted and exaggerated the nature of what he had heard about an incident of Biology Class Autoeroticism. I suppose I do tend now to think that the enigmatic Head of Year may have been thinking of encouraging such a misinterpretation in making a handful of abortive attempts at offbeat joviality at subsequent appearances on the odd school trip.

Mr Morecambe hasn't as a white British skinhead been favoured by fortune having been cursed with less than the best of health and spending most of the eighties and earlier nineties as a lone parent bringing up his Son Damien who is said to have fallen into a cauldron of magic mushrooms at a Country Fair during infancy and has trouble understanding what people say. The notion that he thought of trying to arrange some assignation in addition to some misconception about what I was trying to get across fits his known behaviour. The Teacher in question may also have been prompted by the quest for advancement in some respect and/or have misbegottenly contracted some romantic interest; of course it was some time ago now and long before this appalling explanation occurred to me about her in recent weeks it was the case that I did seem to recall that my Father's bubble had then quite recently been burst rather more intelligently by a more experienced Lady Teacher with a family and children of her own a couple of years beforehand. It seems worth pointing out that he wasn't in that Biology Class but that a half German skinhead with 'refugee,' relatives did, along with someone who became a reactionary career cop. The latter seems to have overestimated the extent to which I was involved with the Labour Movement and culpably concomitant intrigues but of the former it is perhaps more relevantly the case that I tend to assume he was at the John Bull with Morecambe in '83 when another white British skinhead killed someone with a scaffold pole in a bad tempered incident: the point is that it seems a reasonable suspicion that this was something to do with interesting misunderstandings that Morecambe had partly generated on the subject of illegal gropings and that sort of thing you see. The Killer in question was controversially acquitted of the Butchery of Perry Mason and his pet Dog ten years later in a downtown Churchyard. It is in very broad terms, perhaps more obviously to locals familiar with the events in question to some extent, far from being an entirely unreasonable inference that either or both of those incidents were significantly occasioned by youthful or vulnerable individuals being told to respect official conversation about civic life that was really rather cheap, deceitful and therefore inevitably abrasive.

08 12 13

It isn't really complicated in principle to suggest that as I progressed through the earlier stages of adult life I didn't know who it was that had familiarised themselves with my person even if I'd realised that specific failures to communicate were the result of my not realising how the presence of others impinges on One's own mentality in the way that in theory a nuclear family child does, or that such individuals had learned to falsify signals, messages and official understandings, or even that they arguably had an unusual motive to. That may sound a bit odd but I'm going to have to go quite firmly with the remark that the particular key fact in precipitating an unusually disastrous and chastening life experience is the fact that this Teacher had persuaded Other Authority figures to accept an entirely contrary story to that which was absolutely essential to me and that by the mid eighties they were in too deep to back out and easily admit it. What the new Lady Teacher saw in 1978 was not some superficial, recently acquired or easily overlooked turn of poor fortune. I was entirely resigned to a messy and difficult separation from my Father as soon as legally possible and was at my wits end. As 1980 progressed and this failed to materialise I pointedly scored a line through anything that the Teachers from that School had to say and naturally assumed that no-one would subsequently dare to lay anything like accusations of dishonesty in my direction: any contrary discrepancy can in fact be very significantly explained by reference to the fact of the death of Reverend Mrs Tricker.

The existence of so many high profile Prosecutions for relevant offences under the Coalition Government is a can of worms that could easily spill over and leave a lasting mess in that one has to consider it for example a fair assumption that most guilty of predatory behaviour of the type under definitive discussion between say 1960 and the present will have escaped formal censure of any sort. I obviously think it is a better idea than questionably motivated bedroom tacks and would reiterate prior to forming a few more relatively firm conclusions that the School Authorities had literally colluded in seeking to procure instances of statutory rape, that such contemporary debate as we have conduces to the suggestion the story isn't really far fetched and that people will undertake all kinds of dirty tricks and sinister chicanery in seeking to launder official notice of such behaviour.

On the one hand what Mr Morecambe has seen is a straightforward substantiating conversation about someone who's Father was supposed to have been an Historian but who wouldn't explain or debate anything of it for some quaint motive or other, in that over the years I had devoured numerous history textbooks myself and the motive for his not responding with any sort of interested dialogue about research was always an immediately inevitable question that must have arisen in the mind of anyone who'd really noticed much detail in the exchanges I had with him over the years: that they did become not only lacking in much real value but horribly destructive of creative potential of any sort is probably more superficially obvious to casual acquaintances.

It's probably worth adding that if One considers that my Father did clumsily lead his own to premature distress and death while fudging the question of bad and dangerous company and fuming over the failure of different Police Forces to protect his marital relations from the Gangsters and Racketeers that infested London at the time in subsequently trying to cultivate the acquaintance of youthful and vulnerable individuals for questionable motives, then I was the only person harmed by the fact: even if it wasn't much in the grand scheme of things, in relative terms everyone else excepting of course deceased persons, had got something out of the fact.

09 12 13

I have to put it that what the local Labour MP Chris Mole didn't know about these events from the late nineties he should have. I would have said that he must have had some idea that something stank about the local Constituency Association and the manner in which Jamie Cann succumbed to the simplest of matters to diagnose, entirely tallies with the suggestion that he had failed to obtain me the credit for making such a diagnosis of severe blood/organ disorder from an Aunt's boyfriend's complexion as far back as '79. That Mr Cann did in fact make such an appalling mistake does in fact tend to support the contention that he was involved in some deception and that deception it seems increasingly reasonable to suggest was something to do with having accepted a plausible impersonation that he found useful as a Party Political Polemicist instead of discharging his duty as a Public Figure.

The fact that so many of the more unpleasant incidents which have marred the Borough before and after the succession of Mr Mole can be fairly said to significantly originate from his apparent vulnerability to accusations of being more like a political carpetbagger than someone who knows much of value to the citizens of the Borough, in my view has to pose a fairly serious question mark against his fitness to be the Labour Candidate in the next General Election. Perhaps the only reservation that might reasonably be entertained in respect of such a statement is in the observation that there might or might not seem no plausible or credible rival for the position.

I suppose it's true that logically the only really good answer to the remark that Gen *ummer his Tory counterpart has made use of insider knowledge of criminal activity rather than seeking to have it addressed and that they are a pair of Conmen is to confess that would be by offering One's services as an Independent Candidate. I'm getting a little ahead of myself here insofar as if it is to be serious, the idea presumes much happening in the very near future including something like a triple whammy of legal victories, but I don't believe the notion should be entirely ruled out just because at first sight it might seem a little far fetched or sensational. I have scarcely within weeks clarified somewhat the allegation that from one valid sort of perspective my story could perhaps be fairly said to have been a case of the Girl went missing, and of course One supposes that there are quite endless ways of saying that it is the sort of confession that most men don't care to overtly make in any respect when I have to concede that I never really fancied my chances of attaining any serious ambitions without at least that: the assertion I may have taken the odd optimistic story or two about my prospects a little too much at friendly face value is something which does deserve a little further qualification and seems quite an understatement. Of course I shouldn't have to think of doing that just to make a fuss about less than worthless legal representation; or the suggestion that at first sight the experience of fifty years has been that the Institutions governing the sinister debacle of my long term existence are effectively in disrepair rather than functioning in anything like the way they should.

11 12 13

Eleven twelve thirteen, unlucky for some ..............

I happen to have a photo of the first time I went to Thailand which I think will bear out much of the hypothesis that several certain individuals associated With Copleston have sought to foist the most malicious official misunderstanding of my long term situation and with luck now it won't be many days before I can dig it out and publish it here: of course it is only really evidentially useful to those involved because other third parties obviously won't recognise that certain voices are clearly involved in certain deceptions.

In seeking to proffer what seems surely an increasingly plausible explanation for the mean spirited and no doubt illegal legal advice I've been given over decades I'm very much moved to accept the idea that some kind of official deception is derived from Mr Morecambe having misappraised the nature of a Biology Class incident. The sequence of events probably went something along the lines of the fact that My Father and his Sister knew full well that I wanted to end the ridiculous and sinister charade they were entered into and managed to persuade other pupils that I was indulging in some sort of exhibitionist showing off rather than genuinely upset and distressed. The Teacher Ms Lennon had ignored the fact and have not recalled it until extensive consideration of the reasons for my sad estate having in recent weeks led to some recollection of Mr Morecambe's behaviour on odd occasions I've seen him over the years. It seems a relevant thought that he is or was the kind of person that would self importantly embellish such a story and that his conversation does in fact tend to point toward him being something like a brash and bungling if generally well intentioned (at least as far as I was concerned) catalyst of an increasingly widespread misunderstanding about the meaning of these events and perhaps crucially seems to have accepted the fact of some meaningful interaction with my Mother's family which didn't really exist.

It seems to be the case that the children of my Mother's present Partner obtained some such faulty impression of me and their parents from this situation in the for example what thought seems to arise from their elder Son in particular seems to refer to overoptimistic deceptions originating thus: the Cormacks for example seem to suggest that it was Joan Oily who sought to broker a career as an underage Prostitute for me and the Taylor children seem to have tried to find a stereotypical version of events relating to their parent's marriage at around the same time.

My Mother has since the later seventies generally speaking attached too much wishfully thinking significance to the convenient but entirely empty fictions which certain parties have engendered; she simply ignores anything she doesn't like and tries to make it appear otherwise by talking to someone else who's listening. If you're among those who have had some reason to try and follow the dissertations of recent weeks such as odd neighbours and interested health workers, you may have noticed the evolution of the remark that perhaps the only coherent exchange that has taken place between my Mother's family and myself in any respect is arguably an assertion being made in this time by the firstborn child of my maternal grandparents her older brother William which seems roughly to the effect that his background silences to the events of the mid to late sixties don't contain any unusual inclination toward disguising the malevolent intent of his now deceased younger Sister Bernadette, iro the idea of her younger Sister my Mother managing to marry out of her ghetto girl background at that time instead of having fun on the streets with her and her friends, and it seems a rueful kind of concomitant observation that it was a shame that my Father's Sister didn't take the idea more seriously. This would be a logical extension to the observation that relatives and acquaintances have probably overestimated the extent to which I was aware of actualities when my Father belatedly sought to escape my Mother's Sister by taking a Job at the other end of the Country late in 69; it being the case that any thought of any genuinely friendly exchange with the voices of a few Cousins I could recall vaguely completely stopped by the time my Mother appeared with more boyfriends. It is probably the case that as the result of exchanges which have taken place on the very few occasions I have seen first Cousins since the late sixties, that they have only just appreciated the fact I never managed to remember anything of significance at all about the events of those years until the last few summers of my Father's life. That this is the result of some unusual manipulation tends to reinforce the suggestion that there was perhaps some unusual and specific reason for it, and from my view the key point has to be that I have not until very recently adduced any reason for them to have either imagined or falsified a different more friendly conversation. What is of having no choice but to point out that as far as parenting three year olds is concerned, it is unfortunately the case that really I was being psychologically abused in several sorts of ways at that time, particularly in respect for instance of being told to like some friendly Aunt who was in fact a source of calculating and determined hostility. My recovered memories from 2005 are unquestionably to the effect that when my Father left for a Northumberland library Job in '69 she had definitely been trying to pick a fight and was wandering up and down the Road telling people he was a Pervert. What is overwhelmingly of the remark that she had of course nothing whatever to lose except her limited liberty and life which this latter she duly did in 2006 when she collapsed days after receiving a five figure sum of Compensation from the Irish Government in respect of her savage upbringing in a Dublin Orphanage.

What point was there in the fact of my Mother who was an endless dirty trick that wasn't helping me manage my Father and who I was better off and/or significantly happier without when it came down to it making a point of telling me that I wasn't it: what would any three year old be supposed to understand about this. When One considers it now obvious that my Father's Mother was going to bum steer any sort of conversation that didn't include an unreserved laundry Job at the suggestion she and her blood relatives had failed to return significant assets to my Grandad's family after the War, a trail of failed and shabby intrigues and the fact of an increasingly sordid and unpleasant childhood existence becomes more explicable. It is probably a fair comment that when my Grandmother died in the local Hospital there was some significant truth in the remark that there had been at times a good deal of unwillingness on her part in a postured train of events which culminated in her dying about two decades younger than any of her Siblings.

15 12 13

In terms of detailing the last thirty years around the specific notion that a certain group of people associated with the School I had to attend from '76 to '80 have been involved in professionally derailing any progress toward legal conclusions not in line with certain fictions which it might seem reasonable to identify as originating with Teaching Staff it is quite a significant thought that they had infected the then very young children of my Mother's present partner with an overoptimistic view of the reality of interpersonal relationships and that they had in turn subsequently sought to join in contriving some hostility toward me. It is of course very difficult to evaluate such remarks which in some ways are little more than speculation about what someone or other might have thought some decades ago but it is for example much less of a problem to assess for instance as to whether they are presently or have been within the more or less recent past seeking to manipulate my signal flow in terms of conversation relevant to my legal situation. I'm very glad that having recently moved to a place roughly half way between where I went to School and the Town Centre, and it is reasonably auspicious for me, that there are a number of Residents and Households within a stone's throw that have been in existence since the late seventies and even some predating my birth. The point is that even those who haven't actually met me or any of my maternal blood relatives with whom I'm supposed to have had certain kinds of social and legal relationships, find it an easy matter to pidgeonhole who it is that I'm talking about since it's fairly difficult for those with memories of childhood and residence here extending back to the mid twentieth century and earlier in some cases not to have run across individuals who were Wartime Children of local families at that time, or at least find it a fairly easy matter to verify the general truth of a given story about such a family: it is clearly to be hoped that from my point of view this fortuitous circumstance may lead to some chance of better understanding in certain respects.

Little could be presently more useful to me than someone able to accurately comment on the familial tensions underlying the fact of my own existence with perhaps some specific idea of how plausible and valid or otherwise, the theory of an historic context may be than someone who was about School Leaving age in the Town when my Father was born.

Having quite recently acquired forty years of intermittent residency of the Town it is an inescapable observation that someone with ninety or more with possibly significant numbers of also locally resident descendants would be thoroughly unlikely not have noticed something or other relating to such a story about my older living relatives in particular having been the subject of some unusual scrutiny from on high at any time. Such a person would moreover be also very, very likely indeed as far as odd technicalities go, to have some specific idea as to how true or otherwise it may happen to be that School Authorities in the late seventies had colluded with the Procurement of Statutory Rape and deceived Welfare Officials: also a particularly good idea of as to whether or not certain political careers had been influenced in different ways by any sort of blameworthy ongoing ignorance of such a case or fact.

With any luck I might not now have to go on about interminably about the fact of the Solicitor Smythe being the villain of the piece who should be carrying the legal can for a variously disastrous chain of events so to speak. Solicitors are in fact paid good money for carrying the responsibility of solving these sort of problems and have remained mysteriously untouched by the recession and the question of the national debt in some cases having fees more than double what they were in 2009.

Of course he wasn't an acquaintance of any sort in '82 when people who were in some serious respects Employees of my Mother's erstwhile boyfriends burned down the local Docks but it might not seem unreasonable to hope for some concurrence with the suggestion that I was a shocked, upset and innocent victim that he rudely set upon a couple of years later when he violently imposed a ridiculous and misconceived version of events of my life that I was powerless to conform to. I always felt it should have been emphasised that I always sought to protest Mr Taylor was a poisonous f*** and that he'd had too much luck in getting away with speaking indecently to me. I have always asserted despite whatever rumours to the contrary might originate from maternal relatives that by this time I had also been dumped on the wrong side of Town in a ghetto block with nothing but a deranged and unmanageable Father who promptly fled abroad, that I was guilty of doing nothing except trying to be serious about that fact by any reasonably fair means to hand, and that in buying any other story Smythe allowed himself to be duped by more genuinely questionable characters entirely failing to justify his theoretically superior legal and social status to an extent which constitutes an abuse of the public trust.

16 12 13

I have now just about gone over sufficient details and reached some firm enough conclusions to think of making one or two formal applications. It may well prove to have been a well adjusted remark that I made to the Criminal Cases Review Commission a significant short while ago now that I definitely would be making an Application, but that there would be some appreciable delay in resolving medical issues; the lack of an immediate concurrence on that question including the fact that certain plaintive arguments have been upheld by the Local Primary Health Care Trust inescapably adds vehemence to the remark that the actuality of my situation is that I cannot find any legal advice or meaningful comprehensible legal representation of any sort, so further problematic situations cannot be resolved by references to Services which don't seem to exist on anything but a propagandistic basis.

I can now go so far as to out together a pre application so to speak consisting of the Prima Facie argument that certain specific errors of consideration were made by the presiding Judge in particular even were the whole matter not thoroughly improperly proceeded and that he had in fact signalled his retraction of the Conviction during the course of iterating the Sentence: I will then have to have another careful look around online for Solicitors who investigate Solicitors and Solicitors who investigate medical malpractising and surgical foulups.

There's something simple to say about people who cannot orchestrate the provision of quality services being bad hunters. 23 12 13

I'm going to briefly reprise the main points of my life in order to underline the allegations that a significant fiction has been imposed on my personal history by persons associated with Copleston School and that secondly it has foolishly been taken as the truth by Politicians and Lawyers. It is of course interesting to note that if there is a single piece of propagandistic deception played on low end taxpayers involving Lawyers in particular it is in the notion that they seek to uphold the Law for individuals, they do not, they try and ignore the failure to keep laws that might have been of some benefit to powerless individuals and spend most of their time planning Courtroom activities with the idea of staging social propaganda in favour of the wealthy and powerful.

I could usefully add a few details about my life here insofar as the Weblog itself is merely an attempt to reiterate in simpler terms what was said on the CV from the late nineties. I like to think I have increasingly got across that my childhood from 1970 was an dirty, unpleasant, sordid and chastising experience and that of three or four adults who knew of it should be said that they have been shown to have been at best generally behaviourally disordered and socially irresponsible pursuing petty criminal agendas. My Father's actions can be fairly said to be perhaps the result of embarrassment rather than criminal culpability but it doesn't neither the fact that allegations he made about my behaving badly in any noteworthy manner at any time were entirely false, nor does it make the practical consequences of his disastrous attempt to micromanage my affairs from 1980 any easier to deal with even if I had gotten over the, what was for a well spoken middle class southerner of scarcely six, the inescapably perverse seeming atavism of individuals in a declining mining community exacerbated as it was by a then inexplicable distraught and irritable neglect.

I think many have been pretending they don't know what I have been saying and that it is to some extent part of a dumbed down character assassination on the part of my Mother's family because I couldn't effectively be rejoined with her after 1970 so to speak. This seems to have been aimed at fitting in with some convenient seeming fiction cooked up by Copleston School in one respect or another in between the time I first started crossing the Town centre daily in 1978 and the point in early '81 when I found myself poncing beers off political wannabees in the central business district at night having nowhere much to go.

24 12 13

Once a Solicitor had been taken in by this at the end of '84 and odd College Lecturers particularly Robert Dumper had continued trying to hammer square pegs into round holes apparently it might seem now motivated by considerations of what was wanted in the way of a story on high in trying to help launder social security fraud and mistaking badly what I was actually appraising in relatives and legal situations, I was really in an appalling state. I was really always too upset, deprived and neglected to do anything much with part time College and Night Classes, I was continually disappointed of appropriate representations to these various effects particularly iro the remark I should have been housed independently at 16 or 17 at the latest instead of being bamboozled into pauperising schemes aimed at paying the debts of white trash Irish and getting involved with businessmen I didn't want or ask to meet. In 1985 I had never personally had anything to do with my Mother and her family beyond being a hapless infant who it seems had been the subject of some seriously unwholesome interest on the part of the London Underworld while they feigned normative familial interest.

It was the latter eighties before I managed to break free of business acquaintances of my Mother and 1993 before I found somewhere to live that was suitable or congenial at all. There is a lot of sordid detail that I could and in time probably will apply to the twelve years or so that I was if not entirely by choice fairly socially active but it had all become a nightmare. Having at least moved back to the more familiar side of Town in the aftermath of meeting Anthony Smythe by 1985 didn't help me realise anything much at all about what was happening to me; one or two of the girlfriends of some sort that I'd had who had half sort of cryptically explained what they thought they had seen had disappeared or been hastily partnered elsewhere. The fact that I lost touch with much of the congenial company of contemporaries at least on a day to day basis can be explained by evident distaste for what the cleverer sort of young intellectual easily spotted as arguably fraudulent in the way I was pursued by the Labour publicity machine. I had never really quite been the extrovert character that responded to urgent necessity and older predominantly working class and Irish females in my background postured me to be while inveigling exchanges they found therapeutic and evading notions of legality: the fall and decline of Gerry Morecambe should probably be viewed in juxtaposition to the laundry job on their reputation particularly that of my deceased Aunt Bernadette.

Many of these sorts of social and psychological problems do of course tend to work themselves out as individuals enter into adult relationships which ideally then develop to form a familial cocoon with/for the arrival of children.

The main point that really needs to be emphasised about my life between then and now is that I spent nearly ten years constantly nagging at the Members and Officials of a local Church that what I really needed to happen was for someone to help me say why the Legal Representation I'd had was a thoroughly nasty whitewash of official failure which had left me robbed and destitute. The essential point is that not only was I ignored having firstly been quite deeply disturbed to learn that the Priest one Reverend Butts was a friendly acquaintance of Mark Howes and that he had developed some fictitious view of the manner in which I was forced to work for him in that it was in fact owing to the simply abusive and threatening behaviour of my Legal Representative Anthony Smythe. It seems appropriate to reiterate the extent to which my Mother's behaviour is to say the least extraordinarily irresponsible by the standards of the place and time in which few can readily consider that she had deliberately done me as much harm as she did; this now apparently seems to have been motivated by the desire to hold onto a relatively lucrative marriage with no regard for the cost of perpetuating illusions which were going to fall apart sooner or later. Most people think she looks after me fairly well but they don't realise how much harm she has done me or what really lies behind the innocuous apparency of occasional visitational converse.

25 12 13

No matter how carefully I think about this I'm inevitably going to miss various detailed minutiae of any worthwhile and readable account in scrambling to meet legal objectives. Since this is neither the time for anything slapdash given the years of enormous effort that has been very strangely misunderstood I'll have to be as concise and succinct as possible.

I had looked at the situation that existed in the late seventies and assumed that my Mother was willing and able to help with progression through the education system given the fact that by 1981 despite enormous familial problems I had managed to hang in there and was obviously enjoying the company of a much better sort. I didn't need much beyond the insistence that my Father's behaviour in particular respect of the fact that he simply ignored the most serious and well intentioned of enquiries warranted his being neatly cut off from the question of how I should have been housed given the unlaundered facts about my circumstances. I could have done with a few clothes but materially didn't need much otherwise in that for example books for students are fairly cheap: the fact that my dental work was painful and foul was what I was hoping would have been noticed.

What happened there over roughly the few years before the summer of '81 can now be understood better since accurate memories of infancy have resurfaced and it remains a tragedy that this has not yet been properly understood and that so far psychological enquiry only really comes up with the firm suggestion that culpable parties have long been able to manage and prepare for what preceded it in terms of my personally getting anything like any genuinely worthwhile or appropriate attention. I am still coming up with fresh unpleasant discoveries that have real scope for extrapolating into hazardous situations since the first eruption of severe emotional trauma which preceded the firm conclusion that my long term memory had been badly malfunctioning since my very earliest years. I could not be more certain of anything than that this is a matter of the most serious sort of concern and not some paranoid delusion. Too many people seem to have assumed that I have been aware of what was in my own long term memory and what is of pointing out that isn't necessarily the case; for example in 2005 I really did just stop what legal work I was doing to acquire fees for a week or so's work as a Courier when I felt that my Mother's old friend was seeking to contrive a friendly interest and I really hadn't ever had the opportunity to adjust to what was only then apparently the facts about my Mother and her marriage to a certain large heavy object.

They really did say some very silly spiteful things about trying to get my sixth form education axed whilst missing the importance of a putative Uncle's unnaturally sanguine complexion, waiting for their business to absent mindedly burn down and needless to say completely forgetting to mention how my miserable possessions had been traded off during the course of my Father's most recent marriage, when I was accused of shoplifting at Christmas the following year in the course of an afternoon's heavy drinking.

With respect to the fact a few acquaintances got mixed up in this it might seem appropriate to suggest that Jilly Hackitt might easily agree that the schemes of others were in fact reasonably blameworthy for that odd situation/incident insofar as she was for instance well placed to adjudge whether another Coplestonian had followed me to night classes at College, after my having gotten upset with my sixth form careers interview as part of a scheme to smother limited awareness that he was a fair target for Magisterial censure; what is perhaps of additionally observing that a small number of people must have realised this to be the case and that she might have related such a suspicion prior to embarking on a such a profitable career as a Lawyer.

29 12 13

As far as odd details go there is a fair bit I could add to this and will do before very long but there is one significant sub plot that I should mention before leaving this Weblog temporarily and working on the wording of some specific legal applications. This relates to the fact that during the ten years prior to my Father having faked the appearance of an assault in 2002 I had assumed I was merely being ignored by Church Members and the erstwhile Vicar to a significant blackmail victim of my Mother's in saying that I had hardly less than been violently assaulted by a poisonous reactionary Lawyer who seems increasingly to blame for various ills. Lawyers are paid such good money because they are supposed to be clever enough to see through schemes like that which I feel it is becoming increasingly obvious was not merely negligent on the part of the Educational Authorities, who seem to have actually connived in presenting an entirely false picture of myself. If the story about the Biology Teacher is generally true then it does add up to that!

People don't like deadbeat parents especially those who are working hard, paying taxes and reasonably expecting the School to be providing them with a good service. Aside from the problems I had with mine. It isn't paranoid or delusionary to suggest that there were also racist and political motives that I had no significant suspicion about among fellow pupils and Teachers of German descent. By the time that various supposedly helpful authorities were complicit in potentially career destroying Sex Scandals I have to assume that most of the people who knew a significant amount about these events were assiduously trying to misled me, again without my having the faintest idea what was going on.

I'll need to go over my entries for the relevant time period to check on the exact wording that I used but when my Father made up the story about my assaulting him in 2002 I did make a point of saying that the manner of the investigation of the missing Soham girls which happened within days pointed toward a lax sort of liberalism on the part of local Officials who tended to portray themselves as respectable and shall we say generally conservative but had entirely ignored his determined undermining of anything resembling normative respectable behaviour. I thought I had made it perfectly clear that I considered my Father was a complete nut who I would not again trust or pay any attention to under any circumstance, I certainly couldn't in 2001 have imagined that anyone involved in his Health and Welfare issues or his Younger Son's Education could possibly think otherwise that he would have been subject of severe legal/medical censure if any meaningful Legal Advice or Representation had ever been available to me in respect of his actions.

So I had considered it perfectly clear that I had prefaced my conversation generally with the remark that this was my view of my Father and that generally speaking individuals with similarly strange or unusual ideas about social and sexual interaction in broad terms ought not to bother trying to make friends with me. I had been so sure this was understood that I didn't bother to look for evidence of such sentiment as I didn't imagine anyone but a resigned sort of criminal would dare present it to me. Without going to the details immediately here and now what needs to be said is that one or two characters with such views now seem to have conspired if perhaps wordlessly with my Father from behind a masquerade of civic, social and religious fellowship and with considerable characteristically criminal and malicious aforethought assisted him sow a trail of deception which culminated in his fabricating the deception that I had assaulted him: the consequences of his unbelievably being taken seriously soon wiped out the fruit of a whole decade of hard work as I was dumped on the streets where among other things I soon ran across distracting bad company I'd managed to avoid for a decade, my half brother returned and helped himself to what he wanted of my possessions and my pair of knackered old motorbikes were swiftly stolen.

I will as I say phrase this remark in somewhat more detail in the fairly near future but the point is that this deception has cost me a great deal of my natural health and enabled among other things my half brother to walk off with whatever money was in my Father's Estate a few years later. Whilst other persons such as my Father's first Cousins have made various disastrous contributions to the debacle of my own career in making overoptimistic assumptions on sadly outdated evaluations the point is that I feel that from my own point of view the State Church has a considerable case to answer in shaping enormous personal disaster. From the Taxpayer's point of view what is of the remark they have a right to expect certain standards of decent behaviour from any of the Institutions they mange and subsidise in any respect and that in this instance the Church has been seen to behave as an antisocial nuisance at best. I think it was known that one such person had made an attempt to drunkenly perform a sexual act though I didn't make a formal complaint; this might have been iro the suspicion that he had been originally a Clergyman's rape victim. Unfortunately however I think it had become clear by 2009 that this person had wilfully and with mischievous intent been sowing the seeds of a large and elaborate false story about myself and my situation for a long time prior to the Millennium. One has to suppose that he has been told certain kinds of sexual behaviour is mainstream and or socially acceptable and that he has tried to stir up trouble and make problems when he cannot find other males who want to practise sexual acts with him. A Cambridge educated Musician seems to have been similarly misdirecting such comprehension behind a facade of approval for the Labour Government, which he seems for example to have outdatedly associated with it's social agenda of the latter sixties.

It is perfectly possible to make out all sorts of plausibly sinister portrayals of the reality of local government and civic life in this respect and in pointing at the incident of the disappearance of Luke Durbin as almost predictably symptomatic of it. Especially if one of the Councillors who arguably acted stupid when I first started complaining about Solicitor Smythe in the mid eighties, had knowingly ignored suspicions of official collusion in an instance of statutory rape and under aged procurement before seducing a 16 year old into a relationship.

04 01 14

When I spoke to the Suffolk Constabulary about the Irish troubles in May of 1994 I didn't imagine that the intelligence they had about me amounted to nothing more than to be quite precise, a few quite dangerously misconceived cover ups of sex scandals appertaining to older relatives. As a matter of fact I had tragically it seems discounted the notion that they were not aware of the basic simple truths about my dysfunctional family as being so unbelievably stupid that I couldn't possibly credit it . I had thought it in fact plausible that a senior Cop from the RUC might have been intending me to hear things that related to the acquittal of Messrs Suttle and Ellis the previous year for the Murder of Perry Mason which was among the reasons I spoke to the local Constabulary at the time. This was not least in view of the fact that a number of individuals including regulars of the Spreadeagle Public House where I was a regular at the time had expressed serious concern and disbelief at the acquittal. What has been put to me within the last decade was that both the incident itself and the acquittal were consequent on the fact of at least one other unsolved murder rather detracting from the image of civic figures who at the time of the Mason Murder, were arguably how you say in broad terms popularising themselves by being seen to be advocates of Welfare spending and promulgating a vastly overoptimistic view of civic life. Without reiterating details I have broached elsewhere on the site I do generally tend to agree with the suggestion this scenario is quite meaningful in terms of the fact that Mason, Suttle and Ellis were all supposed to be living in some kind of, Socialist Paradise is a phrase often used to describe this particular sort of social propaganda targeted at less well educated voters, and it has to be presumed that some such sort of overpromoted feelgood conversation went badly wrong and that certain individuals whilst heeding the overoptimistic ideological propaganda of a longtime Labour Council, had perhaps tired of pretending that their society had not become extremely low end.

Though of course I didn't have all the details then that I do now, when I pointed out what I thought was obvious about the Karen Hales Murder in November of '93, what I sought to show was a conversation or remark in which I'd said to the recently deceased Councillor Edwards, that such and such an individual whom I presumed the Prime Suspect and pointed at rather than named, was likely to have been an acquaintance of Mr Mason and that much as it gives me no pleasure whatever to say so, it might not be anything at all of an exaggeration to say that a certain amount of rancour among locally known poor folks at the failure of a Prosecution for the extravagant butchery of a down and out, might to a meaningful extent reasonably be said to underlie the subsequent attack on a family associated with the Labour Council. What is of observing that the traditionally working class communities to the south and east of the Town in particular get sold a lot of propaganda about the meaningful and worthwhile nature of local democracy and the traditionally red political hue of their representatives. Large numbers of indigent young men from these neighbourhoods had at a local level throughout the Thatcher years been governed by a Labour Council which sought to emphasise that it would keep public services running for this sort of people and those Councillors at its ideological heart so to speak, had clearly been easily and effectively snubbed by Judges and Lawyers in declining a conviction of individuals for the dramatic butchery of a down and out.

05 01 14

The evident topicality of some of what I have to say iro my own personal history in society at large, is all too readily evidenced by the Independent's reporting of Police corruption this week click the link to bring up a fresh page with a copy of Yesterday's disturbing article.

It really is quite disturbing in certain respects especially if you are a relative nobody who might have need of Police for any of a number of random misfortunes at some point in your official existence as an adult. Some of what has been said is not clear in its meaning most particularly in the remark that one Officer felt that the situation in the Capital with Police corruption was so bad he could not conduct "an ethical murder investigation." My point is that I have little idea what is meant by this, after all what the Dickens is an unethical murder investigation? Surely any Murder investigation must be ethical in the sense that the idea is that we reject the idea of going round killing each other because of moral and ethical considerations: I would presume the commentator meant something like impartial or objective.

20 01 14

As far as local affairs are concerned my perspective on some perceived official dissatisfaction with the Vicky Hall acquittal is that some debate about the burden of proof in such high profile prosecutions was current in local society. As far as I understand it the main element of the Prosecution case was an expert opinion that soil samples from the Accused's vehicle matched those from the Murder scene, and that this was immediately and catastrophically contradicted by another expert who said they could have come from anywhere.

04 02 14

Application for References from March 2013

The document linked above constitutes the gist of the Enquiry the Solicitor Claire Hullock refused to undertake on my behalf in 2002. It omits much detail that I should briefly recount which to the effect that my paternal half brother was a delinquent and impossible nuisance from the time of his arrival in the country as a fourteen yr old until he was shepherded onto a Plane with a fake cheque for monies he had been demanding late in the previous year. At the time my Father was black and blue and I had been worn to a frazzle by constantly having to attend to among other things a dying Cousin, a delinquent half brother and a deranged Father and much else besides.

The fact that this seems to have been catastrophically under-reported at the same time as some kind of character assassination was being attempted iro the ludicrous contrary portrayals of myself that the Constabulary seem to have got hold of and that the local Force also found reasons to refuse consideration of the allegation he did eventually kill my Father thus in the Hospital does unfortunately then quite directly lead to the bad tempered incident in which Lorraine Thorpe died and one has to consider that whomever it was that has been consistently and ill advisedly laundering Jack Whiting's Behaviour has a lot to answer for.

Details that are not specifically included but are worthy of a mention in the context are that for instance the failure to comprehend that my Father's Cousin was dying from a deadly neurological disorder arose directly from the deceptions my Father put over on the WRVS and that Jack Whiting was so delinquent and made such bad company that I had to fasten his Car steering wheel to the Driver's seat with a ship's chain at night so that it could not be driven off by his friends.

I will probably think of a few more such points in due course.

Notes about Legal Complaints and separate specific Legal Problems.

     

This gentleman stole a wallet containing £87 something from my Flat on Nacton Rd in about 2006. As soon as it is returned to me this article will be removed. If it is not returned the character in question will be named and shamed.

I am also looking for a character called Mark Born who disappeared from a Computer Shop he had been running at Anson Rd Martlesham in 2005. He had built me a Computer which didn't work and in respect of which he owes me £300.

In 2007 I was ripped off for some Courier work in west London and I have not been able to compose myself to conduct more than the first half of a small claims action. I had been offered £550 for six days work and I haven't had any of it. It is really only relatively recently that I have assessed that among other things I am being subjected to a barrage of hate from my Father's 3rd Wife/Partner who was associated with the local Courts via the fact of her Mother having been a Magistrate and it being the case when it comes down to it that she and/or her family were getting much too lose to simply trying to buy under aged sex.

The Letter From Michael Irvine

     

The image is of a letter signed by the last Tory MP and which seems evidential of some such story about the inadequacies of our Education system in that it arguably refers to the age of consent: without making any other relevant remark here and now it seems interesting to note the fact that we have never met face to face.

Ongoing Notes Sections Originally Undated

Note 1

I'm hoping that it is understood that the reason I have mentioned the Murder of Canute Lee in the Bar Fontaine opposite the southern end of Christchurch Park is to do with the impression that must have been gained by most of the Town's youth at around this time in the mid eighties, that a vast and thriving black market in controlled substances was routinely ignored by everyone except a handful of relatively unwilling Officials formally attached to the Suffolk Constabulary.

Note 2

A lot of unpleasant things happened during the years I unwillingly worked for Mark Howes but one little interesting story which springs to mind was that of the fact that a Normandy Veteran of some reputedly distinguished service was among the people he employed. I would have said that he was among those who mistook me as having some insight into the hearing capacity and general interest of the Royal Family as he rapidly took note of my presence and in signalling that he wanted to know who I was, it seems retrospectively that he did associate me with the Queen to some extent and had even gone so far as to surmise that he would be able to find if perhaps indirectly, some kind of therapeutic society if you take my meaning. At the time I hadn't quite adduced any link between my appalling situation and such surmisals about the interest of the royal family, least of all in assessing that it or they may have had some reason to take an unusual interest in the fact of my own existence, but I unfortunately had to seek to advise him that his Employers were not nice people in quite the way he was thinking, that they had taken advantage of deliberately negligent legal work and blackmail threats to compel me to work illegally, and that because I was therefore in fact particularly hostile toward his Employers he was as I say at least as likely to have an accident than he was at all likely to find any therapeutic input as the result of sounding me out. I didn't find him how you say objectionable despite that his personal philosophy and feelings about the War didn't quite match my own personal and historical viewpoint and as a matter of fact I flatter myself to think that he was appreciative of my efforts to define his personal demons for him, as well as the significance of his life and times in terms of political and personal self sacrifice: Ernie's story seemed very much that of a slum kid who in WW2 took on some of the most dangerous challenges the cause of nationalism could manufacture and to some extent I would have liked to have picked his brains at somewhat more leisure.

Among the things I did say to him an observation which I'm sure many think of making to a person of such singular and particular distinction and was of course to the effect that it can take more courage to join the Merchant navy and sail Atlantic and Arctic convoys than it requires to think of personally joining in ideological and nationalistic conflicts with the idea of fighting other adult males.

     

An interesting article I thought

What makes my tale of meeting Ernie so interesting is the fact that he was a neighbour of Jason Mitchell's (Jewish) Father who was decapitated by his Son at around this time. He may have been responsible for my ropey looking appearance in some pictures taken by the Ipswich Evening Star some years ago now. If he's still kicking around I reckon it's an impressive feat as he was a fairly sick looking 60ish back in the mid eighties when I saw him last: what is of recalling that those who were about twenty in 1944 are now roughly ninety years of age. It is particularly interesting to note at a time of increasing and turbulent interest in the question of European integration, that the of fellowship which binds us together is originally about the fact of being British and that the fact of ongoing British ideologuery might seem to be at odds with, and in general terms traditionally has been inimical to any reasoning behind the possibility of anything like any genuine or justified outbreak of Euromania as perhaps breaking a post cold war power vacuum, and/or ideological deadlock. What seems to me to be most important to note is the fact that most people are only just awakening to the truth about the historical and political context of our lives in terms of things like discriminating voting behaviour and deterministically meaningful self government on social, national, and individual bases.

This ought to be elucidated into several key explanatory remarks the first of which it seems to me is some examination of the suggestion what those who have attained a good standard of living from the fact of general progress, obviously even with the best will in the world have some tendency to promote self justifying ideas, and have managed to vastly exaggerate the self importance and self regard of the population in general as far as its realistic role in decision making is concerned. This I have commented on numerous occasions, enables the economically successful to portray our history of parliamentary democracy as causal rather than coincidental. This means that their political representatives can blame the last Labour Government for various woes that should more properly be viewed as an inevitable fact of life in many respects. It is perhaps a weakness of a two party system that those claiming to be concerned for and representative of economically unsuccessful voters have allowed the wealthy to blame the poor for the fact of national debt when they should have extracted something more like a confession of advantage taking on the part of the better off in a society where it is rather the case that too many of these have obviously enjoyed good fortune rather than it being a fact they have earned enormous financial rewards for good works.

So for me what overwhelmingly needs to be generally acknowledged about the last twenty years is that most voters have had to admit how little they really know once they got hooked up to the Internet and started analysing the political rhetoric they had no realistic choice but to accept in the Cold War era.

Note 3

In view of such facts as that the average Belgian was responsible for about 3 deaths in the Congo between 1920 and 1950ish, I have to assert that I would resent any suggestion that I should be considered culpable in such a manner because my paternal forefathers in the 19th century can be plausibly portrayed as having engaged in some sort of defensive vigilantism.

Note 4

That my regular drinking, film watching friend Mr Strutt has been engaged in some deceptive exchange with this Lady Biology Teacher referred to in Weblog entries from the end of last summer. I'm still musing over exactly what this might mean given for example that I had commented before that our conversation too often seems like a business relationship: at the moment I tend to think she was the first to start manufacturing a significant fake signal flow but I am going to have to consider the matter carefully b4 making further comments: they are both associated with Copleston School.

Note 5

It is interesting to note that despite the fact she is dead, a lot of people still mistake the Queen Elizabeth 2nd for her Mother the late Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon. It seems apt to point out that they are very different in that the late Queen Mother was a very boring anti-intellectual conservative; while she did have personable qualities as far as such upper class characters go, she was quite tactless and almost entirely lacking in any sort of inspirational insight into the lives of humble folk: I think her smothering sort of knee jerk conservatism will come to be viewed as at best a mild pestilence by history. The Queen herself is a relatively different kettle of fish, quite probably as a consequence of having been a wartime youth I think it fair to say that she does have a radical streak that was entirely absent in her Mother and is or was perhaps in younger days significantly feared by other elements of our national 'establishment.'

Note 6

I've made a few comments about the significance of a perceived failure of School Authorities in the late seventies at Copleston School in various respects. Aside from any specific remarks about my own personal history there is always some justification for complaining about the fact that characters like Gerry Morecambe could barely read and write after ten years of Schooling in that taxpayers surely deserve something more.

The point was about Reverend Tricker's class that far from complaining about him then, what stuck in my mind if anything was the fact that his lessons were a comparative Oasis of calm and order compared to the average classroom and indeed, as a matter of fact the only one in which I had managed to concentrate on anything to any sort of worthwhile degree though this may perhaps have had something to do with the suggestion that certain types of pupils didn't opt to study Theology in any respect. It seems now to be the case that the Reverend in question had figured out that I knew nothing about the presence of Irish and half Irish Cousins whom it now seems all had motive to feign a friendliness or understanding with me when the truth was that they had happily been long forgotten.

It seems relevant that the impersonality of a Comprehensive with 1600 plus pupils in it obviously makes it easier to disguise failings than would be the case in a smaller School. Comments he made about the conflict between John Knox and Elizabeth the 1st could likely be some metaphorical reference to this suggestion that there was seen to have been some consonance between my Father's family and the Windsors.

What comes to mind now is that I believe his Wife had come into his lessons on odd occasions as she was in her final months of dying from some form of abdominal Cancer, and of examining the suggestion that attributing her manner of meaningfully playing with a Pen to the fact of some significantly elaborate comment on my own familial circumstances in particular is in fact a fairly reasonable deduction given some of what has become apparent to me only within recent months. The suggestion that something was awry in identificational terms could refer to the fact it seems that three nominally English first Cousins I had been in fact involved in knowledge of serious crimes from their infancy and may have assumed that I knew of the details in that my Mother seems in recent weeks to have been surprised to learn that she did not succeed in relating to me that she was engaged in Prostitution on some basis when I was an infant: three years later at the age of six I had no idea what a Prostitute was. It was ten years ago or at the age of about forty that it finally dawned on me that this sort of activity was or had been her problem and as I say it is only in recent weeks that I have deduced that she really did think I had known this since the age of three.

I had said repeatedly at the time that I wanted the Cormacks arrested and charged according to the fact of their paedophilic importunity. I WAS NOT HAPPY WITH THE SUGGESTION I WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT THE LAUNDRY JOB ON THEIR REPUTATION, and maintain this is what should have happened.

23 02 14

Of course everyone realises what was wrong with the apparently charitable remarks made by a series of Bishops and Religious Leaders this week: I didn't doubt it for a moment! Isn't it the fact that what the poor really need is for these creeps to be honest about how little effort they are willing to put into the matter of chastising or even chiding their wealthy friends for paying themselves too much. It's much easier to deceive the poor about the real comparative worth of their cash benefits isn't that it? The remarks were specious and misleading! Whilst apparently taking issue with the wealthy, that is exactly what they are not doing when they perpetrate the deception that they're taking issue with injustice and inequality in trying to make a big deal out of dropping what are in relative terms a few measly crumbs whilst hiding away larders full of goodies: quite frankly it's a disgustingly grubby excuse for an honest debate isn't it.

Of course everyone got that right didn't they........

28 02 14

This is the latest offering from the British people iro my health and welfare. It was conveyed to me by an Iranian Dentist and two Lithuanian Assistants.

I don't mean to seem rude but I did make certain vain attempts to get the eastern gentleman in question to elaborate on the item before simply procuring it. This went through one ear and straight out the other and it is predictably unfortunately exactly what I didn't want. It's too big, too foul tasting, the teeth don't match the original: I was vomiting and coughing within seconds and I found the thing unequivocally dangerous. It's interesting to note that the Dental Surgeon in question is probably quite well qualified to assess relatively objectively what the condition of the so called NHS is in this respect as he has been resident and working in the UK for some decades and I'd say probably since the Islamic Revolution of '79 or thereabouts.

He isn't the first refugee I have noted finding it far more easy to acquire the makings of a decent life than someone like myself who's hamstrung by the fact of people knowing who he is and wanting to settle scores with his relatives: in relative terms I have been playing the game of life with marked cards.

What is of the remark that since I was told forcefully in the early Thatcher years that NHS Dental Provision wasn't even worth applying for I have been the victim of several botched procedures and ill considered treatments, which it seems a reasonably fair comment to say have played a significant role in some perceived failure to cope with adversity in general. I have spat out an enormous amount of broken and painful teeth in the last few years and whilst I'm no longer tormented by severe dental pains as I have been throughout most of my adult life it is a simple fact that without implants I am moderately handicapped. I am unavoidably further upset by the thought that this is what my existence is worth to people, something that looks like some kind of a joke toy out of a Cornflakes packet. Go ahead and take a good long look at it, because if you're also British you've likely worked and paid taxes for the horrifying debacle that has ensued from some ongoing attempt to make up comforting propaganda about NHS provision.

(note added 19 10 14) More recently some further explanation for this Iranian Dentist's apparent inability to hear anything has surfaced. His Hygienist related to me that one of the Caps he has refilled with Porcelain was in fact filled with the same material as he took out and it's unlikely to be rectifiable because he stripped away too much enamel while he was doing it. I had been suspicious that this was in fact the case as it didn't taste right and it can't be seen without a reverse mirror which I don't have. It is also unfortunately the case that this Lithuanian Hygienist couldn't (or didn't) explain to me how to use the home cleaning materials I paid for.

12 03 14

What's probably more striking in financial terms is the remark that the two Doctors who have been mostly involved with my case since 2002 have earned something like £6 million pounds between them. What is genuinely frightening is the remark that their actions on my behalf can be rationalised down to the comments that they have failed to make accurate observations pass on relevant notes and precipitated more legal problems by failing to make a simple phone call when it was needed.

That's a quite an expensive piece of incompetence.

It may serve as some sort of effective explanation for much of the tone that I have employed throughout the written work on my website if I seek to reaffirm generally how hopeless my life was at School in the late seventies. I never did entertain any believable ambitions of any sort except perhaps in trying to escape my family in any realistic way as I simply had no means to. Whilst I have entertained some optimistic stories about what I might achieve I never had any faith in them and they all fell through just as I said they would: I was stuck in a genuine dystopian nightmare of a very high order. My guarded response to familial social and consequently educational difficulties prior to the age of sixteen was to assert that I ought to have been housed separately from my Father before he could become the author of any further dysfunction. It is impossible to avoid observing that if an NHS provided GP had not been the subject of so much naive faith and political manipulation I would arguably not have encountered some of the significant problems I did. Dr BEB Williams should clearly have obstructed in some way the activities and importunity of Sex Offenders to whom I am unfortunately related by 1980: the fact he had not done so by 2002 is simply unforgivable.

21 03 14

On the Suicide of Simon Hall

27 03 14

I have been diligently trying to focus on making the Application to the Criminal Cases Review Commission iro the Spreadeagle incident and expect to complete within days.

Further choices/recommendations of News articles this month are both highly relevant to my immediate situation in different ways. Patrick Cockburn's Independent Article on Libya from the 16th of March will be a bit of an eye opener for many who haven't perhaps given much thought to the knock on effect of Phony Tony's moral and ideological bankruptcy. The last Labour Government had fudged the issues, took the money and ran and we are all paying the consequences of a lame and convenient acceptance of alignment with US foreign policy with the conspicuous failure of diplomacy leading to a War in which no-one seems to care that the Government has been caught lying in the matter of endless significant details. It is impossible to avoid noticing this Tory Government preparing to hand over power to an opposition administration that will be the same ideological paper tiger with comments from the Bishops preparing the ground for a handover that will in fact be very much the antithesis of anything like meaningful representative government. It doesn't seem so long ago that the last Labour Government with what was on paper the biggest and best opportunity since 1945 to make fresh start and I recall saying to many that for such an administration to be setting out on the road to Devolution as its opening policy centrepiece was an ill omen.

Denis Campbell's Observer Article on the NHS   from March 22nd reiterates how some commonly held assumptions are propped up by relatively inconsequential tweaking of administration and allocation budgets. For me personally, I cannot agree that the NHS has provided excellent service for the last generation quite the contrary. As a matter of fact it is the truth that the variously considered white elephant of a so called NHS has had a distinctly negative impact on my health and well being which would be unlikely to have occurred if a taxpayer funded NHS did not exist and I had not trusted some Official that personal medical issues would be responsibly managed which I obviously should not have done. In the long term those working in it on my own Case at all are simply far too keen to fit into an entirely fictitious account of my personal history as largely devised by other so called public servants for various political and propagandistic motives: in the short term I have been unable to obtain sufficient access to or attention from a GP in relation to essential legal matters in which the GP's Surgery is culpable.

14 04 14

Lacking a response to my email of March 31st that I was ready to pick up my Case I have today followed this up with a Phone Call. The results of this were quite predictable I suppose in that their Switchboard doesn't know anything about it but that in all cases they require a particular Form to be filled in hard copy. This I am told will now be despatched and it seems appropriate to reiterate that those responsible for the relevant misunderstandings are running out of time to make their requisite confessions formal.

21 04 14

On my Father's funeral

I've put this brief recapitulation of the day of my Father's funeral here in order that it may be more readily understood that when I ran across a Firm of Solicitors in 2010 that I was desperate to get some legal advice and action in respect of the events described. The fact is the calculating deceptions first palmed off on the Police by the characters in the Spreadeagle had a financial motive and their actions stem from the all too palpable suggestion that was being made by legal sources in Thailand connected with my half brother who had stolen or conned everything possible then suggesting that other parties could be fitted up for legal chicanery and compensation: not that these pub characters didn't do exactly the wrong thing. As it happens almost all the money in my Father's Estate was taken by my half brother within a few weeks of the funeral: any sort of arrangement that wasn't exactly what he wanted was violently refused and without co-operation from the local Constabulary there wasn't much else I could do in the short term.

21 07 14

Apologies to those who've been expecting me to keep up with one or two comments about ongoing matters but seasonal tasks only make for more work if they're not attended and I have to be absolutely precise about what I'm saying in view of the accumulating evidence that most of those close to me over the years have in fact found some very unusual motivation for corrupting my signal flow.

A lengthy document was eventually despatched to the CCRC this Week and it is almost certain I will publish it here in the nearish future.

Perhaps the most relevant item of recent consideration was to the effect that another ex Coplestonian whom I'd written to querying the observation as to why he seemed so interested in my own affairs and was increasingly clearly the voice that had offended my last Landlord seemed to have elicited the confession that he had first been drawn into assisting School and Welfare authorities in laundering allegations dating from the late seventies which were really rather serious and which I have consistently focused on over the years. I did post a relevant comment in my High School reunion page back in early spring and persons interested in related stories may not have noted this fact.

08 09 14

As far as developments in my little story go it seems I may have sent the written summation of my Case to the wrong department of the CCRC and may have to resubmit the matter of the Application in line with some pointless stipulation of some sort. There may be some reference to it among a pile of letters that I am trying to get around to attending and in general terms I would seek to reiterate that it is a particularly difficult thing to compose formal complaints against such individuals as Doctors and Solicitors especially when One has foolishly trusted them with managing the most personal aspects of One's existence.

A few stories have cropped up in recent days and weeks that are of some relevance to the above narrative.

Perhaps not the least of these is the fact that traces of DNA matching Aaron Kosminski one of the Prime suspects for the Jack the Ripper Murders have very recently been found on the Shawl worn by Katherine Eddowes when she was murdered. Contrary to the triumphalist tone of sensationalist reporting I don't think this proves he was Jack the Ripper and indeed I think it remains questionable as to whether there was such a person in that several similar looking Murders don't necessarily make a single serial killer. Whilst we should probably accept that he was the Killer of Katherine Eddowes several question marks seem to immediately present themselves in respect of the contention. The first that springs to mind is that whilst it is not impossible one tends to imagine that a Jewish immigrant Barber would not be the mind of person who would have naturally acquired the anatomical knowledge necessary to kill and dismember a corpse removing one of its kidneys; this is especially the case insofar as the time frame for the Eddowes Murder is very narrow at I believe something like approximately fifteen minutes between patrols in Mitre Square and commentators have often focused on the time frame as making it difficult enough to kill and dismember without the now fair seeming supposition that she was also sexually assaulted.

Whilst we should probably downgrade our consideration of the Sickert hypothesis it might remain unclear as to what sort of motivation such a character as Kosminski might have reasonably said to have had for the killing of Mary Jane Kelly which it is difficult to imagine as other than conveying some sort of political/social motivation. Part of the answer might reasonably be said to lie in the supposition made from contemporary photos that the late Prince Albert was in fact a half Jewish illegitimate Cousin of the Queen who she had insisted on marrying at an early age. One has to presume that to some extent this was some kind of an open secret which undercurrented the political life of the nation in its Capital and one which not a living soul ever found the courage to say openly. If One accepts this then it may be possible to interpret Kosminski's presumed motivation in various ways including the suggestion that he may have been partly driven mad by voices which didn't openly proclaim that the 'learning difficulties' of the Queen's eldest Son sprang from his secret illegitimacy but which may have for instance been likely to have encouraged the Jewish community to overplay its hand. It seems reasonable to consider if such perverse and homicidal actions can ever be said to have an explicable motive that Kosminski had witnessed much violence and persecution in eastern Europe and that he may have viewed himself as a vigilante of some sort or other. From a personal point of view so much micro-evidence among the historical and particularly the photographic record that my own family had become closely involved with events at the centre of the nation's political life at some point prior to 1940 may derive from the not unreasonable supposition that my 19th century forefathers may have been among a tiny handful of people who knew beyond any shadow of a doubt that Prince Albert was not quite what he was supposed to be.

03 10 14

I'm still not firing on all cylinders quite correctly as far as a daily attempt to process the contents of my Library and process vital paperwork is concerned. What is very much of the remark that my calculating mind is still making significant fresh discoveries & deductions about the behaviour of near relatives iro various serious misunderstandings going back almost fifty years now and it is a continually unpleasant task. The remark I came up with recently to the effect that the aged white male who was my GP prior to 2000 had in effect composed an entirely fictitious account of my personal history as the sum of various ignorances he had been importuned into explains much. So does the recently made observation that my Mother thought she had explained the gist of her association with the Krays to me as a three yr old. Many of the extreme circumstances that have evolved over the years seem easily attributable to the fact she seems to have thought that I had realised what was going on when the fact was that my Father had prevented my understanding of any such remark or at least my remembering it. It seems very key that those of her Nephews who had profited from the fact must have realised by the latter seventies that I had no effective memories of some particularly grubby facts, should have pointed this out to me and have probably been hoping prior to 2004 that I would never remember.

This might seem to explain satisfactorily the feeling that I am somehow being impersonated in my conversation. I haven't given the existence of Cousins any thought since I was five. Why should I when I'd only seen any of them on two or three occasions since 1970 and was glad enough to forget about them as their company was distinctly forgettable. It had never occurred to me until the last few weeks that there might be something more to this than the fact their Auntie had taken up with some other man or men from about this time.

I won't relate the details, certainly not immediately anyway but the simple observation is that what seems to have happened iro some of the more mystifying exchanges with Officialdom is that when I started speaking to Labour Movement Officials and Councillors from 1980 someone who had been buying Cocaine via the Kray connection in the late sixties sold a local Labour Party member some twaddle about how I knew various facts including various sex and drug scandals, he bought the story not realising that it was designed to appeal to him without any concern for the truth and he then related various facts wrongly to the local Labour hierarchy. It being the case for example that all I had said to any of them was that I'd had a nightmarish time at Secondary School and that my Father was such a disgusting negligent Pervert that it was utterly ludicrous, thoroughly offensive and entirely preposterous that I should have been housed with him in 1981. The fact that they were collectively lying when in subsequent years Jamie Cann claimed he couldn't make "head nor tail," of this very simple suggestion simply isn't exaggerated. Since 2004 it has gradually become apparent that if these Labour figures hadn't associated my familial history with the Labour successes of the sixties and seventies that they had observed the most extreme sort of disconcertion among a number of local Tories at what she knew in terms of various scandals found the apparency useful and found it expedient to give further credence to the cruellest of lies. Such a deception as I have pointed out came back to haunt the local Labour Party as it became known that Mr Cann was dying from a rather belated diagnosis of Liver Cancer, it being an uncomfortable fact that he had failed to obtain me the credit for an identical diagnosis which should have guaranteed my Sixth Form career whilst he was in effect taking advantage of or perpetrating criminal blackmail for his own selfish ends.

The remark goes with the allegation in general that they aren't good enough at keeping the company of the poor folks they claim to look out for and that the death of Paul Clarke a few weeks ago now whilst in the professional care of the Prison system as part of a 67% rise in deaths in custody this year is not only significantly reasonably attributable to this sort of cynical and exploitive behaviour, but the manner in which he came to be responsible for two deaths is itself also very arguably significantly attributable to relevant deceptions about the role of local Politicians in the Community. Whilst he probably was guilty of premeditatedly killing a helpless industrial injuries victim in the process of trying to silence him iro an earlier violent death, what is unfortunately of the remark that these events coincided with my having finally evolved a more accurate sort of perception of the realities of civic life in terms of the fact Councillors and MPs are in broad terms supposed to be governing the Country; when One hears so many realistic sounding stories about the debts they have piled up it is hardly surprising that many accept the proffered vision of Government in general. The facts as I see them now rather more seem to indicate that elected Representatives have a very limited range of realistic choices to offer, which is rather presented to them from above than it is the result of evolved decision making from below as it were and that Lawyers of One sort or another are far more effectively in charge of what is actually taking place in terms of really managing history as opposed to being managed by it.

In seeking to look objectively at a number of unfortunate events preceding the incidents iro which Mr Clarke had been Convicted of double murder, one has to say that in the run up to the last General Election there were quite a few characters associated with the Town's political establishment who didn't want any sort of dramatic reinterpretation of certain local legal and political events in the prior thirty years. Of course it would be unfair to make any sort of conclusion about whether or not any of various parties could reasonably be said to be to blame in some measure on the basis of one or even a few unfortunate events, and there may be reasons why I have been presented with a certain view of the role and scope of local politics as meaningful, the manner in which serious violent crime has become commonplace in the Town over three decades is quite disturbing. I suppose there must have been some but offhand I can't recall of a single Murder throughout the 1970s. Crime rates generally have been falling because of the impact and affordability of preventative technology and whilst the inference is unfair in some respects in that eg Ipswich has had a rapidly expanding population in the last three decades it seems very arguably the case that to a notable extent to which the political class is failing to fulfil a social leadership role. This is of course a very difficult matter to evaluate and no matter from whose perspective the question is examined it remains highly speculative as to what this should mean. Running services competently and balancing budgets is all well and good but it doesn't necessarily mean that society is characterised by the nature of its participant democracy as is often conveniently purported by many of those looking for a means to rationalise the good fortune that fate has dealt to some.

If you accept the prima facie remark that this was how Jamie Cann traduced local interests in obtaining his career momentum then it might go some way toward an explanation of some moderately unusual crime rates in a favourably sited Borough where it wouldn't really be expected. My point about Paul Clarke was that for instance Jamie Cann's Son who was at School on the north side of the Town in the early eighties had also by 1990ish become a very large and heavily built man well over six feet tall though in truth I can only proffer that he seemed to be of around six feet in height and it is an inevitable observation that the former has some evidently distinct sort of interest in neglecting the argument that the kind of material in circulation in what local society there is that is roughly labelled as party political, should be viewed with a good deal more ordinary suspicion than is often the tendency. I mean it wasn't him who got carried away with pounding the hell out of some down and out by the name of Rosie Hunt during an argument about somebody's dog and the usual shortage of beer and spending money among naively welfare expectant baby boomers, but he is quite distinct among many others of course who have some significant sort of responsible interest; the argument has to go something along the lines of the remark that the realities of life in some of the more cheerless and shadowy nooks and corners of the Borough is sordid and sinister in character rather than otherwise and that the influence of Councillors in a Ward such as Priory is really negligible in terms of defining how wholesome or otherwise the atmosphere in the Town's peripheral housing zones may be. Given a generally significant rise in the number of unsolved major crimes of violence in the Town in general in the run up to the last General Election I have to say there is or certainly has been far too arguably far too much truth in the remark that the kind of intrigue I have encountered involving political ambition and party politics locally has not done anything much besides presiding over a decay of any sort of community identity and responsible values.

In examining the role of civic leaders in this time, aside from the prospect of a little clumsy muck throwing it is an interestingly relevant question as to how he might view such an allegation as for example that many talented people aren't drawn into public life because of the necessity of party political identities in terms of inhibiting creativity: what is I suppose of the remark that such questions are often really best answered by professionals and those with specialist knowledge. Aside from the fact that imaginative thinking is in fact many ways more practical and feasible in managing public resources nowadays the observation does tend to raise the question of what kind of resources should be held in the public interest at a local level as we have seen very much in debate north of the border this year. I feel it is perhaps going to prove a major stumbling block for the Tories in coming months that their lack of appeal to those who want good local services rather than grand projects for the wealthier class of consumer may count against them more than they think.

In simple terms for me personally if it is accepted that certain Officials have more or less deliberately and mistakenly handled my case over many years as is being increasingly substantiated to a surprising extent then the fact the Labour candidate has been replaced since the last General Election really just means that someone else is trying to take advantage of the fact.

Examining these questions inevitably tends toward the observation that most personal fortune in terms of careers, marriages, living standards and the postcode lottery said to exist in terms of finding quality services in different parts of the country is defined by the randomness of an individual's birth situation. It has recently been observed by statisticians that in Britain and the United States that the rate of social mobility has slowed since the big shake up of WW2 so there has been in relatively recent history a lot of movement between social classes insofar War is a general accelerator of progress which has slowed as the last WW recedes into the past. It may also be the case therefore that in analytical terms it is a significantly relevant fact that the some kind of subconscious assumption that history will create events and opportunities in that for instance the domestic population has been emigrating consistently for several centuries political classes of every stripe tend to argue for some sort of hands on organisationally causative explanation for such things as the massive inequalities that exist in out society not just between regions but between different parts of the same Town.

In saying that it was always the case that many of those who involved themselves in the last century's great conflicts on a nationalist basis did so with the unspoken or subconscious motivational rationalisation that they might thereby escape from toiling on the land or in the factory and that modern infotech is only just facilitating anything like the possibility of a really meaningful analysis of what exactly it was that occurred to cause WW2 and that it is the personalities involved that might be of more interest than we are typically encouraged to consider, I really have to mention a few thoughts about the plausible significance of some recent footage of the Queen and her Sister in the mid 1930's as two children playing Oranges and Lemons in an idyllic looking garden

07 10 14

Of course the Queen has always had this prominent and impressive dentition and I suppose it is the fact that Oranges and Lemons is about Public Execution that makes the footage appear meaningful. Now believe you me I'm the last person who wants to proffer any sensational stories having nothing but strikingly real problems to deal with but I cannot escape the fact that the only good explanation for a thoroughly nauseating life experience as a British citizen lies in the allegation that what happened in the later thirties was something like a military takeover or a behind the scenes revolution since the Appeasement party had a theoretical Commons majority though it was shamed into the literally nominal conflict termed the 'phoney war'I think it clear that significant elements of the political nation were grievously divided over various elements of a rational foreign policy which centred on the necessity or otherwise of maintaining an expensive arms race. Perhaps chief among the national institutions opposed to Appeasement was the Admiralty and it has to be presumed that much of this independent minded body had defied various covert instructions to stand down as the decade of the thirties wore on; it might seem relevant to point out that Ian Fleming worked for naval intelligence during this time and in analysing the fundamental causes of the War it is interesting to note that his children's novel Chitty Chitty Bang Bang written in 1962 arguably fictionalises certain elements of real history in the story most evidently perhaps in the similarity of the character of the wicked German Aristocrat with the youthful looking trophy wife intent on stealing the magical car to what must have been significantly presumed by the pre war Literati to be perhaps some indirect reference to the official identity of the Father in Law of the late Queen Victoria.

I tend to take it as fact that Albert had been an illegitimate and that insofar as Victoria and her Mother obviously must have known this they had obviously concluded in the 1830's that any such fact was impossible to prove and would soon be forgotten by those who knew it to be a fact. I think this clearly plays a role in their eldest Son's learning difficulties and in the death of his Son Prince Eddy for short, as some ongoing attempt was being made to ignore an obvious fact that no-one ever summoned the courage to mention openly throughout the century.

If it is true that Eddy's brother George 5th's eldest Son had sought to rid himself of a few knowing individuals which could conceivably have consisted almost solely of my paternal family at that time since few immigrant German Jews were of sufficient substance in the earlier 19th century to have adduced such esoteric gossip about the European Aristocracy then this ongoing situation probably has some bearing on the manner in which the Whitechapel killings of 1888 were investigated. Perhaps also in the eagerness of the crowned heads of Europe to indulge in the nationalist conflagration that became the Great War since an increasing number of them were descended from Queen Victoria and indeed she had become known as the 'Grandmother of Europe.'

a lot of perhaps just plausible such conjecture might seems sensational but pretty much the last idea of any complex nature that my Father related to me insofar as I'd had very little respite from an ongoing and worsening dystopian nightmare existence was that I'd misjudged (in fact entirely failed to see) any involvement of the presence of the monarch in respect of that particular fact and the fact I'd spent thirty years being entirely let down by every sort of official and complaining about what I felt to be the obvious fact I'd been violently abused by a reactionary Solicitor who among other things insisted that Sex Offenders didn't exist and that even if they did the fact was nothing to do with my case.

The first thing that occurred to me when it dawned on me that my Father was actually saying this was that it was indeed strange that for people as embarrassingly socially stupid as my Father and his Sister both were fact was firstly that there had to be some reasonably sensational explanation for official ignorance of his flagrantly irresponsible behaviour in general.

I would eventually work out from memories of events that I had obviously failed to interpret at under the age of five that he had more or less fled Ipswich his parent's home town to evade lurid allegations of paedophilia on the part of my Mother's Sister in 1969 though it seems she wanted to turn the House into a Brothel and presumably had some success with this. He had then been sacked for hanky panky in his Office Broom Cupboard with a young assistant by 1974 and then departed from Lancashire two years later under a similar or worse sort of cloud of suspicion. Among more and particularly recent observations is that the Mowbray boys had first thought I knew that the acrimonious final meeting with my paternal family and the Mowbrays in 1971 who he/we had unceremoniously shacked up with and whose presence was clearly to the distaste of all the family except my Father and perhaps his Sister had actually included an allegation that my Father was up to no good in this respect.

Now I have to say that whilst I had obviously been conditioned not to think certain behaviours were unusual or unacceptable and failed therefore to consciously realise that this sort of view of him had been generally taken, it remains the case that I don't know for sure of any strange social or sexual behaviour being undertaken by him since 1970. The fact that he quite certainly had the creation of opportunities for such behaviour saliently in mind when he took a Job several hundred miles from his hometown is a motivation which was shared to a significant extent by a very large proportion of the Teaching profession especially those unmarried or unattached in the mid to late 20th century. It may therefore perhaps be less than thoroughly coincidental that the last few years have opened a can of worms in the shape of endless scandals about comparatively liberal TV and Radio personalities from the Wilson - Heath era. Among other things they have implicitly conveyed the unquestionably significantly correct impression that policing the issue in ordinary households was an unaffordable piece of social policy which far too arguably consisted of propaganda backed up with isolated publicity stunt cases: it would seem that people haven't bothered to report most genuine cases, and those which have been were it seems for largely practical reasons dismissed or disqualified in the period in question.

So much for the rule of Law eh !

08 10 14

So by 2000 or so I had as I've said no idea that he was considered more of an irresponsible nuisance than the average sort of seedy semi respectable middle aged businessman but the fact is that in 2007 the Mowbrays were clearly signaling if not in explicit verbal terms that they were expecting or hoping for some sort of payment for their silence on the issue of my Father's behaviour. Whilst I am able to say that I don't know if he had specifically committed any Sexual Offences beyond a violent attack on me in 1979 which was related to the failure of his third marriage what is of the remark that I significantly lost my humanity in those years of so called childhood and have never yet confided the grim and sordid details of what happened during them to a living person. The only two adults besides my Father who knew of it were Ms Mowbray and his Sister and the evidence tends to say that they were both involved in blackmailing him for whatever resources were remaining in his immediate family.

It ought to be borne in mind that whilst many more do exist in such conditions than official statistics will readily admit I myself, had first been socialised into believing I was a more fortunate white collar family statistic which slowly and surely degenerated into a worse and worse scenario. If there's one thing I will always have distinct trouble in forgiving my Father it is for the complete lack of any explanation of any sort for this particular circumstance. By the time his parents were dead and we were back in Suffolk I was being sent to School in rags and was never even once supplied with even the cheapest and minimally adequate necessary appurtenances of clothes and sports equipment which even the very poorest families routinely provided without much or any apparently severe difficulty. This particular circumstance is really quite suspicious when you think about the fact that he did have quite a few English relatives who would presumably have been reasonably willing to make such a relatively trifling but important investment; I think it should be viewed in the same way as his failure to acquire accommodation with a bedroom and a scrap of garden at a time when social services were practically falling over themselves trying to pass welfare cheques onto parents of school age children. If you take it as given that he wasn't getting on with his Sister as he feigned and for example it seems reasonable to suggest he may have been significantly responsible for her getting in a bit too deep with Narcotics in the late sixties then the only really good or obvious motive for his actions is that of an aggrieved party who broadly speaking won't accept the hand he has been dealt by legal authorities and is prepared to break all sorts of rules of polite & responsible behaviour insofar as people are supposed generally speaking to accept their generally firm expression.

Given the extreme nature of what was undeniable about his third marriage/partnership in the late seventies the essence of which is that he had tried to Prostitute me as a way out of his difficulties, complete ignorance of the fact in every quarter including: the family doctor; the Copleston School Counsellor; the Marriage Guidance Office/Bureau and various other Officials and numerous Teachers, it certainly does seem that there has to be some highly extraordinary explanation for a continual studied ignoring of all these facts by every concerned party. As I have said in many different ways without some good explanation for his behaviour in the first instance there wasn't going to be any sort of response of any sort with which to fuel any sort of dynamic in yet another weird and fishy looking family situation: aside from the minimum necessary repetition that they were behaving like sex offenders themselves in refusing to relate what they knew about him.

Here are my Father's family again and to cut right to the chase I think it not impossible that in real terms it may have been significantly the case that what happened behind the scenes as War had broken out that the innocently flustered looking adolescent girl with the big teeth in the idyllic looking garden scene gets caught trying to engineer the destruction, murder execution, death of the innocent looking girl toddler in the picture. If it is definitely the case that the country came nearer to some sort of Civil War or open rebellion that was arrested swiftly and surprisingly neatly given what was taking place then it must have at some point have involved someone who was someone and not just another statistic in a history textbook. The suggestion that the family were precisely pivotal on the turn of the national will with some arguable comment about comparisons between great and middling families seems to fit the manner in which 20th century cameramen have often cleverly subverted the kind of message they are supposed to have been putting across. Among other things their backgrounds and obviously motivated political preferences fit the ideological conflict quite precisely in that my Father's Mother would as poverty racked Farming family of highly limited means had clearly been brought great hardship by the preceding Great War, had German relatives and would probably have benefited from a Nazi Occupation. His paternal Grandmother would however as a relative or descendant of a Naval family of at least some very minor distinction have found her influence much diminished and her mixed blood relatives downgraded in the nature of their citizenship.

Much was said about this at the time obviously and I don't want to make anything other than the minimum sort of firm and necessary comment as I've spent an awful lot of time pondering the question of the nature and magnitude of this suggestion of an unusual element of historicity in my family background. I really need to urgently complete some personally significant tasks of a more mundane variety before more trouble erupts if such a thing could be said to be possible of my present situation. Some things are clearer than others in that the most hugely important change of script was undertaken at precisely this point in history and for instance perhaps the most obvious is that the new King would relatively swiftly go down in history as the Warrior King who died young afflicted by the cares and woe of standing alone and implacable against what was arguably the greatest threat to have ever menaced civilisation.

So in general terms it seems there is a lot of material relevant to the fact of the behaviour of members of the legal profession in terms of substantiating that there is/must have been some kind of unknown motive for such a negative view to have been consistently taken of me in 1985. The size of the fees they charge indicates that they are supposed to detect this sort of thing. When I told the Solicitor Smythe that broadly speaking my Father had abandoned British jurisdiction at the end of 1983 after a lengthy, suspiciously stupid and unacceptable attempt to fashion various misbegotten marital arrangements during the course of which it was for instance in terms of evaluating personal honesty a simple fact that any item of personal property of my own had disappeared. In blunt terms what seems to have surfaced is a cogent argument that I had been if not literally savaged had certainly stopped making attempts to remember things properly whilst my Mother's family were fleecing my Father. It seems he had only just prevented me from working out what was really happening and that ten years and at least two more families later I was in a switched off state of distress waiting for the opportunity to shed his derangement and didn't even appraise the details of the pretexts under which I was relieved of anything of value I owned in 1979-80.

He really shouldn't have abused me in the way he did! The fact that he simply destroyed at will any sort of formal and positive argument that had ever existed on my behalf on the basis of a few superficial erroneously made observations surely makes nonsense of the allegation that I have in any way been seen to be favoured from on high.

The assumption I had made when I heard that I was going to be charged with stealing Mr Cowan's collection of musical instruments was that I would be rapidly exonerated as I still know almost nothing about the fact. He violently refused any explanation of what intelligence the Police actually had on the matter of the missing instruments and it remains the situation today. This situation whereby I seem to be continually accused of being someone I'm not has continued now for many years and the accumulated damage to my health and well being is increasingly severe; there is no real question that for instance even if the truth were acknowledged and I was awarded millions of pounds of Compensation tomorrow there will never any genuine forgiveness or understanding of what has taken place in terms of the fact of good health being invaluable: whatever else may come to pass I am going to be facing a significant struggle to meet the region's average life expectancy as the general result of such a dystopian life story.

But what is rather dramatically of the remark that the deceptions behind this maligning of myself among which is obviously significantly at first in some whitewash of familial problems on the part of an aged GP, is that they were placed as the ongoing consequence of the War Children above having learned to interact with conversation at the highest level or something palpably such as they grew up. This of course in itself isn't particularly strange in that many do have cause or reason to engage in such sophisticated forms of behaviour: war veterans and military widows; big taxpayers and the economically creative; upper level politicians; crippled accident victims; voluntary workers.

One could easily compile quite a list.

09 10 14

Whilst I am still agonising over the details it does seem appropriate to point out that some of the odd conversation I have had from WW2 Military Veterans does arguably substantiate this suggestion rather than otherwise; what being relevantly of the remark that in 2014 One has to be at least ninety years of age to have been a politically observant and conscious adult as the War broke out. Having not become an adult myself until the early eighties it is difficult to personally surmise the question as to what exactly was seen and understood in 1940 given principally the fact that while people haven't changed much the technology they're using certainly has. I think I was about twelve when I first read Cato's Guilty Men which I believe remains the principal expose of the Appeasement Policy of the thirties and I note that recently released State Papers tend to detract a little from the conventional portrayal of Chamberlain as the villain of the piece. One has to note that as far as the prospect of serious domestic disharmony was concerned the War Party were quite glad to have the Royal Family officially on board that year since the conflict with fascist Europe was a tall enough order without serious disharmony at home.

If you can get your head round the idea that in the mid sixties they did evidence some unusual affinity with or understanding of the Royal Family then it becomes a bit easier to comprehend that Reggie Kray sought to portray them as undeserving Conservatives whilst for instance various portrayals of 60's Gangland figures were in circulation. This postured affinity or understanding can in fact be read into various aspects of my own personal history but very significantly it can be easily seen as the background to the glibly accepted suggestion that it was a good idea to marry my Father in 1978. I was as I have said on numerous occasions completely lost for any understanding of personal events it being the case that no family members were interested in relating the truth about my Father's dystopian marital exploits. What seems to be of the remark that my paternal Aunt had sold another family some gross deception about family relations with particular regard to the fact that I certainly did not view him as some sort of iconic new age liberal quite the contrary. I was terrified of his deranged behaviour and perverse lack of social sense and rightly insisted on an explanation for it that was never to be forthcoming.

The fact this was accepted from her despite every indication his difficulties required confrontation not obfuscation in itself tends toward the suggestion some unusual motivation was perceived as he was a fairly unhealthy pipsqueek of almost fifty years who never took any trouble over his appearance. In broad terms he was always trying to play up to a notionally high minded and discerning bourgeois audience that he had lost any contact with many years before.

13 10 14

If the events of 1940ish are to be subject to any serious reappraisal or re-evaluation of the generally understood facts then it is for the most significantly concerned parties including most obviously those Servicemen and Women who made significant personal sacrifices during and after the War to adjudge how people and events should be viewed. Such an observation leads logically to the remark that 1945 remains very arguably the only Election ever in this country that wasn't thoroughly scripted from above and that by the time of the early Thatcher years when I had become a down and out teenager with no property but the rags I stood in, it was clear that much of the idealism that went into the post war rebuilding had failed in arguably its principal intention of organising and administering a new classless and fair society. Saying that too many of those who had risked their lives fighting for an allied victory had won too little and too many of the comparatively undeserving had prospered and were about to prosper tends a bit too much toward justifying the fact of historical conflict for the benefit of those able to fight. It also betokens an interesting paradox in that if ever there was a War in history that appeared just and justifiable most tend to cite what was at stake in WW2, but what should we say about the hundreds of thousands even millions of Germans who realised what the consequences of Nazi victory might have been, had no real desire to pursue the policies of evil, and basically waited in the hope their own country would lose. It is an oft chewed bone of contention in terms of objective truth which says that we should only ever regard nationalism as a necessary evil not as an end in itself perhaps most significantly because it condemns too many innocent and decent individuals.

The confusing ideological ambiguity of Britain in the early Thatcher years perhaps foremostly signifies that Society and Government have little real control over progress particularly in human terms. From a personal perspective I have to seek to point out that there is no real or valid argument that I should be formally or informally penalised in respect of events occurring decades before I was born and have clearly been misled about. The War may not have been entirely futile in terms of man being master of all things and wanting to make justice real, but its horrendous cost in various terms can perhaps be rationalised down to the fact that a repugnant totalitarianism and a great danger to any kind of free society had been vanquished but could still for instance transpire that the triumph of so called liberal democracy lacking firm command and control might destroy the World with overpopulation and careless consumerism. A fascist world might have been distasteful in philosophical and ethical terms with a few token societies of non Europeans allowed to survive as curios in institutions like the Warsaw ghetto but the World would likely be better organised and less polluted by the thousands of squabbling jurisdictions we see today busily filling up the oceans with the unwanted detritus of mass production.

I'm not trying to digress into familiar and well worn ideological arguments here but since we see that the resurgence of UKIP seems to denote some sort of objection to multinationalist euromania and that most of the families and individuals in Britain have in terms of right and wrong at least something to be proud of in the key British role in the events of the mid 20th century even if it didn't bring anything obviously worth winning in material terms. Since individual liberty and freedom of speech are very much held to be core values I hope it doesn't seem too absurd to consider that if we believe in the principal of a Just War, then we must surely also believe in a Just Terrorism, and moreover Just Terrorists. If the rise of UKIP is to signify some really significant development in domestic politics it ought to address these sort of alarming inconsistencies in so called politically correct language. This might seem to have some short term rationale but it is entirely specious really. I feel it is a dangerous thing that whilst western societies might have some sort of informal consensus effectively limiting more sinister reactionary actions when suspicions of so called Terrorism which can in many cases mean whatever a Hick Town Cop or Wannabee Conservative Lawyer want it to, relatively new regimes in the middle east do not and the simple tendency to disregard plain honesty is a disturbing one.

It is of the most extreme and urgent importance not least in view of the simmering conflicts Phony Tony's ideological anomie has left in its wake and not least from the point of view of billions of neglected and abused humans, animals and other organisms some of whom will not live to see the Sun rise again for want of the basic elements of a healthy and wholesome environment, that it be seen and widely understood that our greatest leaders and role models are without exception castigated as unworthy ineffective and odious; the telephone, radar, and Internet do not genuinely allow for anything like the sort of deception which once made for shiftless underachieving on the part of elites who throughout history have tormented the righteous with all kinds of unworthy portrayals of themselves.

It may not yet have been quite realised as to what extent this is in fact cause for genuine and unrestrained joyousness on the part of the listening human statistic, much as you might not think it so if you've just been rudely invaded by a bunch of funny young men talking about religion whilst they wave their kalashnikovs and otherwise do the sort of things that young men tend to do when faith in Democracy breaks down. This logical rationale has everything to recommend it and nothing at all to detract from it which offhand I'd say was a fairly unusual circumstance in Philosophy or Semantics. Of course it's been quite a while since I first involuntarily drooled over some comprehension that not only would such an overwhelming weight of technical and logistical significance be available to counter the world's problems (significantly composed of English Lawyers) in my own lifetime but that this was going to be a matter of months not mere years or even a few years, or even a decade or two. Of course there has been something of a reactionary backlash to the inevitable escape of information and progressive ideology through the hands of so many youthful characters as the State apparatus in turn develops awesome monitoring techniques, but surely consensus says we are going to have to go with the thing and submit to the conclusions of an indomnitable rational intellectualism.

I need to make a few more points about this historical perspective on my family background before I proceed to file a few legal papers on various parties and undertake other relevant related actions: thankfully these are now becoming increasingly obvious and self explanatory. Too much is explained too well by the suggestion that my Father's Sister engineered the Stroke which carried their Father away; most of the detail including the minutiae of my present and immediate legal situation as I say increasingly obviously refer to this story as underpinning my life history.

16 10 14

Much depends on the assumption that people like ex Servicemen in particular noted some consonance between herself and the Queen as the 1950's wore on, they both being diminutive brunettes with a Jewish cast, and have made some deduction that the Queen wasn't or isn't everything that one would tend to assume in political terms. In sort of testing whether or not I am interpreting certain arguably high level conversation correctly, I would hazard the Queen's singular comment about urging the Scots to think carefully in voting on the recent Referendum was a perhaps indirect reference to the fact of a Scottish Jacobite Army having been effectively persuaded to vote for its own destruction in 1745, and perhaps also to the fact our present Prime Minister bears the name of the first if perhaps not foremost Clan to support the uprising of that year.

To briefly recapitulate some of the background facts to the suggestion that the voices of perhaps several indistinct looking brunettes could easily be mistaken for that which actually holds the title of Queen.

Firstly what is unmistakeably of the assertion that Queen Victoria married a half caste illegitimate Cousin and that this remained a sort of open secret among the upper echelons of Society when she died. One can infer quite a lot from photos taken in her last years including the fact that people had begun to consider that science might one day make it possible to tell who was really related to whom. From a Historian's perspective this probably means that we should examine the Victorian era in a much more personal light than we have previously in terms of examining historical cause and effect.

Without trying to fill in all the details I have to hazard that my Grandfather's family had probably been one of a tiny handful of people who knew for certain that her eldest Son was not everything he was supposed to be. It seems a fair assumption that his consonance with her Son Edward 7th variously aroused inquisitive jealousies and his/my family may have been associated with the failure to make any formal Prosecution of the Whitechapel Murders which in turn can easily be viewed among other things, as a comment on the fact that non ethnic citizens in eastern Europe were quite routinely murdered without much official demur at that time. We should probably relate the death of Prince Eddy as he was colloquially known (Edward 7th's eldest Son) to some covert debate on the subject since though it could not be proven at the time he did look rather more like a mixed race individual than he should have.

I have to hazard very generally that as WW1 passed and right wing extremism grew he became a target of more than jealousy and his relationship with to a local girl my Grandmother becomes a honeytrap sting motivated by financial jealousy from beneath insofar as there were a lot of poor people about in the twenties, and from above by a desire to see someone who unofficially knew too much about the royal family ruined or discredited to the point at which no-one would believe anything he had to say about the Government in any respect. It isn't practical for me to go over details in quite the way I would like as I must get onto some personal legal matters within days but one question that is unfortunately going to have to be examined at some point is the Prima Facie suggestion that Edward the Abdicator had personally tried to make this happen, perhaps with the intention of effectively destroying anyone who might have known the real identity of his Great Grandfather. The official visible story is that the Archbishop of Canterbury WCG Lang the son of a Scots Presbyterian Minister set out to destroy the Abdicator on moral grounds.

Once again in unavoidably skipping a few details, one has to presume that many different sorts of individuals noted that at around the time of my birth that my parental family had this weird inexplicable consonance with the Royal Family and that for instance over the years many may have mistaken the one brunette for the other in grainy images from 1970s Television. The real Queen after all did have her family's sins glossed over when it was necessary to present a united nation to the outside world in 1940 and many of course have all sorts of reasons for not being particularly truthful about the events of the mid 20th century. Elizabeth Windsor did after all pointedly choose to marry a tall Aristocratic Europhile whose siblings had all been high ranking Nazis and it is of course tempting to point to this sort of high level connection as being responsible for some 'de facto' post war drift toward European integration. The particulars of letters between the present Queen's family and Prince Phillip's that were penned prior to War breaking out were seized by Palace Aides in 1945 and whilst their specific contents have never been made known it there seems little reason to believe other than that they are quite damning.

My point here isn't to debate historical factuality or rights and wrongs but to point out that much as some may have assumed that I did, the fact is that in 1981 I had no idea that I or my parental relatives may have been seen to have been among individuals who did have some significant consonance with the post war royal family. Any remarks made by me about politics or the functioning of the Nation at that time were entirely the consequence of my finding that little or nothing had worked as it should. Aside from the fact of my disturbing and unexplained descent from being a supposedly well starred child of a white collar family in the late sixties to being a smelly bundle of rags being kicked around Copleston School playground in the late seventies for which in the first instance I never sought to blame anyone but my family, what is of the remark that it seems increasingly clear that paternal Aunt I had always trusted unquestioningly had lied and misled School Authorities and indeed every sort of Authority charged with an interest in my welfare with little thought for the consequences.

What is very much of the fact that throughout the year I was a Sixth former I was constantly puzzling over why it was given the seriousness of my Father's dysfunctional behaviour in particular, and that of my family in general, as to why the one suggestion that had been agreeable to me in discussions with various officials about my Father's marital difficulties, which was that I should have been housed in my own right at age sixteen or seventeen at the latest had been apparently ignored.

Much of the rest of my personal story between then and the time I found a thoroughly insane looking Aunt and her new Nephew who obviously knew or knows nothing much of this in the process of shaking my Father to death in the Hospital, becomes explicable in terms of her having surreptitiously enacted a lengthy character assassination of myself the primary objective of this being to obfuscate the accurate perception that among arguments between my erstwhile relatives who had been left in Ipswich when my Father left for a job in a Northumbrian mining town at the end of 69 that she had quite explicitly engineered his fatal stroke while he was trying to cope with variously unwanted attentions from my Mother and a number of her comparatively youthful and predominantly female friends and relatives. It may be said for instance that the more obvious motivation for such a conscious contrivance or at least the visible serious point of disagreement between her Father and herself was his refusal to accept various remarks about fairly extreme sorts of liberal of behaviour.

Further qualifications to this remark in general are going to have to wait for at least a short while as this allegation bears directly on continual and continued errors of the most ludicrous sort undertaken by my GP's Surgery. I am seeking urgently to have placed a dossier with an online Solicitor I have found insofar as I have had complaints upheld against a GP but don't know what to do with them or precisely what they might relevantly signify: the most recent howler was in sending me someone else's blood tests. As far as I can tell the workings of my own mind over a lengthy time period mark me out unmistakeably as a Dissociative Amnesiac. What is of the remark that any contrary appearance is the result of contrivance and intriguing on the part of relatives and others they have persuaded to accept some cock and bull story or other, and that the issue would have been resolved a while ago now if contrary stories hadn't been accepted and my being faced with bewildering allegations that all this is imaginary which cannot make sense. Whilst all this may seem a tall order I am fairly confident that the longstanding family GP who oversaw this over a period of some decades prior to the Millennium is going to have to capitulate to an admission that lengthy disingenuous silences and apparently absurd omissions of his over the years and admit that he considers the allegation my Aunt literally engineered her Father's death, to be true rather than false.

So there it is!

There seems little reason to doubt insofar as this sort of mud has clearly stuck to her and that indeed that she is trying to proffer her original innocence as some kind of justification to the specific audience of WW2 veterans in particular whilst angling for a punishment free resolution in partly seeking to concede her Psychopathic culpability.

If you're someone who's been asked to believe that I have had no meaningful legal representation iro any of the matters on my Site and have been deliberately fitted up with an uncomplimentary and undeserved negative reputation, there is in fact herewith, a good or at least plausible explanation for it that arguably seems to fit an awful lot of historical detail. It ought to be remembered that almost anyone who knew of relevant familial events prior to 1970, was apparently tainted by the question of Narcotics use and it seems perfectly reasonable to reiterate that this seems to have included Neighbours and Teachers who had a particular interest in steering me away from making accurate recollections and deductions about my Childhood once I was back in Suffolk with my Father late in 1976.

In closing the entry for this date it seems reasonably appropriate to point out that I'm not interested in the nebulous idea of preferment or favour from on high unless it immediately bears on my practical personal situation. In 1980 I needed a School that dealt appropriately with such dysfunctional parenting, in 1985 I needed a Solicitor who was not a suspiciously abusive and intolerable monster which I firmly assert Anthony Smythe is. Whilst I may have adjusted my view to some extent since my Father's last months it seems perfectly reasonable to say that a first family or for that matter any relevant authority figure ought to have orchestrated these public services successfully prior to expecting any sort of compliments about management.

19 10 14

During the last few days as I've mentioned probably several times now I've been trying to clear the decks in my Office/Study with a view to making perhaps several formal legal representations. I've made a few additions and emendations to material which has been here, on other documents and on other sites in some form or other since the late nineties and a good deal has been uncovered of relevance to the central matter of my personal situation, iro the fact that I've really had nothing else to say since 1985 except that I'd been violently harangued by a Solicitor who had taken a completely opposite view of me to that which he should have and point blank refused to be of any assistance at all in trying to understand why I was on the receiving end of absurd allegations of burgling my own home when I really felt and still do feel that I was and am owed a string of severe and serious Apologies for the official treatment I'd already had.

The entries from the last few days represent some attempt to relate some hypothesis of extremely unusual circumstances as is quite self explanatory.

Here is another photo from the series which pictures a few contemporaries in the entry for 09 07 12

03 11 14

Insofar as the bottom line is that I do assert that my bewilderingly perverse Father characterised by various toxic and unfathomable petty enthusiasms which entirely refused to contemplate the fact of any social reality, did seek to Prostitute me in the late seventies. The remark may seem a little more comprehensible, since its not the kind of dysfunctional behaviour one tends to associate with such a well qualified white collared background, that he was significantly seeking to proffer that his ex Sister in Law had gotten away with sabotaging his first marriage by leading her into this sort of crime. The interpreted consequence of this by third parties seems to have catastrophically overlooked the fact as my paternal Aunt seems to have intended, that I simply did not enter the fact into my conscious memory having in very short, too many disturbing memories already submerged insofar as it now seems for instance that my Father's first and second marriage had already led to the de facto theft of anything I owned on each occasion, that my own personal Property had been appropriated for my failure to perform in his most recent and that when I was first Prosecuted in a Magistrate's Court for an incident of apparently drunken shoplifting a couple of Christmases later, it should rather have been deduced that I was a confused and shocked victim of the intrigues and actions of Sex Offenders and wannabee Sex Offenders and their associates who in simple factual terms had stolen anything I owned. The fact I did say this and that the remark is no less valid because I couldn't or didn't say it as loudly and publicly as I might or because others have devised or contrived contrary fictions. What had occurred to me in an inaccurately documented and shifting history would it would seem one way and another, was so badly at odds with what I had been given to recall that I could only offer a partial if in fact truthful recollection of what and who I was until as we see explanations for the sordidly incongruous lifestyle I had by degrees been forced to accept and the generally sad behaviour of involved individuals gradually presents itself.

In examining the suggestion that the School Authorities had significantly made use of Mr Morecambe's gullibility and brash unsophistication in posturing some alternative fiction it seems appropriate to point out that Michael Irvine the last Tory MP seems to have heard of some incident I had I had never consciously memorised or remembered. What is of referring back to the curious sensation I had of the Judge in my recent Crown Court appearance having apparently decided to berate someone else's Penis when he stated that he was going to have to uphold a Guilty verdict obtained 'in absentia,' by a lower Court. One notes that this statement of his could mean almost anything, is not any literal or actual accusation of guilt and plausibly nothing essentially more than a statement by the Judge to the effect that I wish I knew what the heck was going on: which made at least two of us. This almost certainly relates to the facts that firstly I have consistently maintained that on perhaps several different occasions I had appeared before the bench up to and including the occasion in 1985 when this Anthony Smythe had insisted I be convicted for Burglary insisting I was an unworthy character having violently refused the slightest scrap of relevant information and that my person was ignored, that I myself have always been considered a particularly well behaved individual, and that they definitely did find some voice or other that was not my own which may or may not be substantiated by any official notes relating to the fact of an appearance before the Bench in 1985: I simply wasn't the subject of the kinds of accusations of mischievous dishonesty and unpopularity he had decided I was and had no sense of having been thus spoken in the way I should of been if I was, as the result of that appearance or of any other for that matter: it didn't occur to me that it could perhaps easily be the case they had been duped into confusing me with someone else.

What had arguably thrown of kilter any small chance that I might have had of recalling anything much about the Case of the Spreadeagle incident on the day I was forced to compose an off the cuff Defence given my condition after a series of suspiciously stupid disasters that have occurred as far as anything of importance is concerned to me personally since 2002, up to and including the unbelievably misinformed contemporary state of the Doctor's Surgery which at the time I had assumed should have acquired a very particular version of events from that date, was the fact that the presiding Judge resembled Smythe so enormously in being a well built looking round to square faced Anglo of well in excess of six feet. Doubtless this involuntary preoccupation is quite evident on the footage of the entirely ill considered actions undertaken that day, but that isn't quite so sensational as the remark that this fellow had, or so it seemed insofar as I was at all capable of making any sort of lucid comment found himself remonstrating with a set of masculine genitalia that were clearly someone's property but which were increasingly as evidently not mine.

Lengthy consideration of this most curious fact led to more detailed recollections of my exchanges with this particular Lawyer and whilst it's immediately or in the short term at least impossible to make a reasonable causational explanation for the fact what tends to emerge is the suggestion that he basically knew he'd done the wrong thing many years ago and has somehow been stupid enough to blame me for the voice of Gerry Morecambe pictured on the right who I assume to be the photographer in chief on the day back in '83. That it, he or they have a significant consonance with the picture of myself on a Motorcycle also in 1983 is I contend somewhat more evident than most observations one might make about the picture itself. I suppose I definitely have the sense that at some time or other I have overheard his Wife or Partner demurring over the precise manner or mechanism of such an absurdly faulty misidentification.

The central contention of relevant interest is of course the contention that he and perhaps a number of others had found significant reason to infer some kind of unusual interest from on high from around the time Ipswich won the FA Cup in '78. Fact is that there's no particular or significant sort of reason to associate me with Gerry, certainly not in terms of any sort of formal official conversation though I've seen or visited him very occasionally once overy two or three years on average since the '80s and I was glad to see the back of Copleston I couldn't help it. It's always difficult to know what to make of these sort of situations without the opinion of some evaluable objective third party. I hadn't seen anyone from there to any significant extent for many years immediately afterward except the few who also thereafter went to 6th form, finding myself soon after that in a disoriented, disorienting, variously unenviable and increasingly strangely misunderstood condition on the far side of Town from any capable and willing assistance.

In posing the question as to whether or not anyone strongly agrees/disagrees with the theory that Gerry found some rude incident in a Biology Lesson misreported to him it seems apt to point out that I had effectively forgotten memories of the presence of Cousins from infancy and that the recently discovered notion they must have known of significant incidences of criminal goings on from that time and that various sorts of subliminal persuasions about what had occurred may have been calculatingly placed and constitute an adequate explanation for why I immediately felt sickened by life at the School. I take it there's no particular reason to repeat the suggestion that a certain sort of drug scandal was the motive for extensive misleading of other pupils to the effect I knew something about it, rather than my innocent inheritor Aunty posturing the most ludicrous ignorance of absurdly incongruous, deranged and destructive courses of action.

It is a less than amusing perspective that a tale with some superficial capacity for amusing fourth formers may have been conveyed to Gerry but that there seems to be some question about the existence or otherwise of some arguably sinister motive on the part of a third party for giving him to understand something that had the potential to lead to serious ill will. Having recalled the incident as recently as only this year it certainly does seem to judge from references that he has obviously made to it over the years in perhaps thinking I must have known what he was on about, to have been quite fascinated by whatever it was exactly that he has obviously heard about it and some obviously overoptimistic interpretation having been circulated with the attempt to marry me off to the Magistrate's daughter ensuing. It certainly is very tempting to consider that some unseen conversation of my Father's with one or more long unconsidered and happily forgotten Cousins was a significant element of a near complete failure to be relevantly understood by other pupils as for instance those scarcely entered into their teens don't tend to be spitefully unhelpful with one another. Some misconception of association with them on my part may explain much in that for example I had not encountered my Mother's eldest sibling her solitary brother until 1978 and have only ever seen him about twice a decade since so there is no scope for the suggestion of a meaningful exchange as it were; the fact my Aunt may have had a powerful and sinister motive for elaborately misleading may also go some way toward a comprehensive explanation and it ought not to be forgotten that a foreign gentleman as Head of Year may have felt unusually sensitive about his role arguably seeming to confess some kind of deliberate mismanagement insofar as his casual ineffectuality has been reflected in a lack of appropriate action.

06 11 14

Among the welter of abuse stories surfacing with the Coalition Government was I noted very recently the death of a fourteen yr old in Rotherham who had been in care and mixed up with young or early middle aged men on some basis inappropriate to her age group. It is impossible to avoid noticing the cautionary elements of the tale since by the time I had reached sixteen years of age and was managing to forget about the people that my Father had recently encountered it hadn't quite crossed my mind that such characters might have sought to further any sort of natural or incidental tendency toward misunderstandings whilst putting this and that about to obfuscate the nature of the conversation which had taken place. It being the case I have proffered a given sort of historical perspective as an appropriate background to social and political discussion of a highly sensitive subject area for government to be seen to be playing a role it is inevitably the case that on one had there inevitably do almost certainly exist the fact of a large percentage of those closing on the age of fifteen having already commenced in engaging in meaningful sexual activity; most of these have not and will not attracted parental or societal disapprobation in what traditionally tends to be considered a matter for and between families making up a national society rather than something that can be easily defined by statute. The interesting fact remains I suppose especially if you are involved in a relevant role such as that of Social Worker that you do need to some great extent to be prepared to make black and white decisions and the wide ranging aspects of historical and social justification versus statistical and financial constraints in an area of legality that will always be emotively charged and controversial by its very nature clearly make for unusually difficult choices in many respects. Such questions as the enormous legal penalties, especially for those involved with socially responsible roles in a legal technicality that is in fact routinely overlooked as a technicality in a large number of statistical cases if obviously not so frequently across age groups, make cases very difficult to assess in that for instance those involved with supervising the fact of more troubled school age statistics in care of some sort are those most immediately tempted not to take issue with known or suspected illegal activity given that cost is ever paramount and perhaps for instance that many socially deprived and marginalised later teenage statistics should have the legal option to engage with older responsible company if that is a choice reasonably willingly made given the realistic and reasonable constraints of life chances according to (I'm going to invent a new word here) geodemographic norms meaning geographic and demographic norms.

I tend to think that in larger towns severe cases can be so numerous that familiarity breeds contempt so to speak in that the population at large tends to generally assume that some serious ongoing attempt is made by Government to curb the incidence of things like child prostitution and it seems many of the stories of recent years ensue from footloose young men learning that such statistics are often found in the same place(s). My own experience tends me to think that in smaller Towns those prone to some ignorance of protective supervision or management in some respect are all too often almost the same group of people as are charged with policing it. With the best will in the world it is easy to consider it does not conduce to the advantage of a fourteen year old statistic having often little concept that it is doing anything other than what a large number of contemporaries do, if of the more fortunate and better resourced variety, while enjoying life's milestones and rites of passage: individuals with hardly minimal life experiences simply don't know that much about the capacity for furious arguments and criminal penalties in the adult parties they encounter. The fact that at least one author of numerous grateful paeans of Jimmy Savile's efforts to brighten up the lives of various institutionalised and unfortunate citizens by various questionable methods has since decided that she had been abused and wants to sue for Compensation demonstrates amply that various issues relating to moral and social probity may present more difficult questions than is typically considered.

It isn't just dead men that tell no tales but dead people of every description: dead statistics may be a little difficult to explain in immediate circumstantial terms but they are otherwise remarkably cheap to accommodate, even cheaper by far than those perhaps whose superficial disgrace could conceivably be ensuing from ill motivated intent to curtail any sort of negative publicity and expensive official sympathising of any sort.

07 11 14

Russian president Vladimir Putin has suggested that Britain and France were responsible for the Nazi’s march into Europe in 1939: this might seem relevant to the the fact I have variously hypothesised that what we are seeing in contemporary political debate is firstly a lack of awareness of the nature and extent of what happened in the mid 20th century, thence being reflected in post Internet voting behaviour. Vladimir Putin is reported to have said that historians attempt to hush up the 1938 Munich Agreement, in which Britain and France agreed to Adolf Hitler’s occupation of Czechoslovakia's Sudetenland. I think it has long been acknowledged on the part of British and French historians that this was a mistake but most ordinary sorts of citizens in western europe and elsewhere have also long accepted that the Molotov-Ribbentropp non aggression pact was similarly contributory to the scale of the conflict and holocaust which ensued.

The Soviet Union signed a non-aggression treaty with Germany: people say "Ach, that's bad. But what's bad about that if the Soviet Union didn't want to fight, what's bad about it?" This is of course a predictable enough response but I think what's key to the question is the personalities of leading figures on the World stage such as it was, and the actual nature of the Democracy that had appeared in first rank nations like Britain and France. It seems relatively recently I was discussing a tendency for academics and journalists to render shades of grey into easily comprehensible black and white causative explanations with a friend of mine; we agreed that it is a surprisingly good explanation for the mid 20th century turmoil that avoids conventional assumptions about nationalist identity to suggest that the period witnessed a massive ideological conflict which culminated in the Spanish Civil War and that the nominally nationalist militarist issues catalysing the conflict which ensued in the early forties were in themselves a relatively unimportant symptom of an underlying ideological divide.

Putin's response to criticism of the role of the Soviet Union is to state that serious research must show that those were the foreign policy methods then. This may be arguable but what I want him to explain is exactly how it has been reasoned that there was nothing bad about the Soviet Union not wanting to fight in the late thirties because of contemporary foreign policy methods but that the French and British are to blame for the Holocaust because of exactly the same foreign policy methods?

Many have focused on the fact that the Dictators of the period were outdated in their presumptions about French and British Democracy, with particular regard to the apparent assumption after the Spanish Civil War, that politically progressive social and political interests in these countries would be unable to control or motivate their own political and social elites toward confrontation with nations controlled by rightist and reactionary interests in another instance of a major European Democracy falling to their control as German and Italian Jackboots marched in. This failure to appreciate the embarrassment caused by the undisturbed manner in which Spanish democracy was snuffed out and the determination to frame a meaningful response is predictable and comprehensible in that only a handful of the best informed 'movers and shakers' could have defined domestic society to such a detailed extent at the time.

Surely all nations at the time should be considered subject to at least highly similar norms and values in foreign policy. There is a rather startling difference between what is right for one and not for another that is surely worthy of some better explanation if Mr Putin is not to be considered open to the charge of sophistry.

What is less comprehensible is the personally determined motivation of Hitler and Stalin in particular as the thirties wore on. They were both supreme rats on their respective dungheaps who had little to gain in material terms from large scale conflict. For instance Stalin seems to have missed the boat in many respects in furnishing the Spanish Republicans with only a few per cent of what military aid had gone to Franco's forces from Italy and Germany. A partial explanation for this may be found in the suggestion that his intelligence services like his armies were filled with politically appointed sycophants who posed no domestic threat to him, and were busy enough laundering the purges of intellectuals and potential rivals at home the scale of which wouldn't become common knowledge until the mid seventies. It is often said that Hitler could and probably would have made the world into a considerably more dark and forbidding place than it is today, but was there not at least the same sort of scope for a more wholesome and democratic european civilisation in the possibility of more significant Russian or Soviet involvement in the Spanish Civil War? Could the World have been a better place? Did the Gangster's mentality of Stalin and the sheer numbers of enemies he had made in his own country preclude this? Who can say?

No-one ! Hehehehe.

13 11 14

I suppose the salient immediate conclusion is that if the French and British people have largely accepted it was a mistake to have appeased Hitler then isn't it surely time the Russians also did so ? When it is I suppose the fact that to appreciate the precise character and depth of this sentiment in the UK you have to be very British, very literate, insightful, or otherwise educated in some respect: the evolution of the cold war rather channelled resources into deception. Strictly speaking what Mr Putin says has been long accepted in Britain. Whilst I cannot speak so much for the French, Britain regarded itself probably correctly as the predominant world power since Trafalgar made the Britain's Navy at least equal to the sum of every other on the seas, making the Oceans perhaps not quite as 'mare nostrum,' the Mediterranean, had been to the Romans after the Punic Wars but dominating the global theatre to such an extent as has few plausible historical comparisons: the Romans were an extraordinary power in relation to contemporary ancient civilisations; the Mongols used horses to dominate the landscape in a manner which makes many who've considered themselves the best of their time look like a load of pampered and preposterous part time amateurs; Napoleon assaulted the class system in a manner which few had arguably done since the Romans; the modern United States whilst conspicuously wearing no individual's face at least not yet, has seized economic and logistical control of most realistic global military precepts while the Soviet Union's comparative lack of cohesion dictated its collapse after what it might be fair to say was a fairly closely run conflict in terms of ideological and diplomatic wrangling for political domination after WW2.

Great Britain was the Superpower in a league of its own and like other powers in Mainland Europe it had found itself questioning its innocence and wholesomeness in the picturesque and poignant destruction of so many attractive young men in the Great War. This was at a time when many worthy ideologies had been on offer in the world and the clumsy looking consequences of human endeavour to master progress via the medium of armed nationalist conflict on some pretext or other, left governing classes in a state of dazed and aesthetic shock when they should have given more thought to honouring the dead by translating their sacrifice into well reasoned actions and directions. It might seem worthwhile bearing mind: in view of the rubbish in the Pacific; the carnage in the Middle East; the discontent in the Far East and the manouevring on the Russian border, that the suggestion the anomie and wishful thinking that led to the neglect of moral imperative in the politics of the 'civilised,' nations in the thirties occasioning an inevitable, if now famously belated and expensively destructive response when the Royal Navy started taking out Vichy French Battleships and five years of unparalleled destruction ensued on the Continent, ought not to be repeated in the obesely complacent disinterest of of well heeled and fed political classes in this country to the turmoil and discontent abroad today. The failure of our leadership to address a lack of insightful engagement with people abroad, the appearance and acceptance of the immorality of glaringly Victorian inequality at home despite all the material goods and food we can produce whilst continually fudging the necessity for plain and honest speaking on social values adds up to a massive scandal and is all too drearily epitomised by the PM's dismal lack of some spark of creative ingenuity.

21 11 14

Since I mentioned Napoleon, I suppose it might make an interesting point of conversation that is something of an aside to the tasteless diatribes about personal and local problems I've had to bore people with, that it naturally tends to occur and partly as a result of somé up to date research my Father left me in his Library that there seems to be some unusually interesting suggestion that Nelson's Mistress Emma Hamilton (nee Lyon) played some unusual definable role in his downfall. The suggestion seems to be, and its a reassuring story insofar as I seem to have arrived at the observation that some individual might be able to rise above the chaos of deceit and distrust all too evident in the atmosphere of international politics and make some kind of a decisive imposition without causing undue offence to established interest groups, that as a Corsican Gangster he failed to appreciate that such a sophisticated and capable female as Emma Hamilton could exist and that she was unusually or singularly responsible for the fact that in tactical terms he had simply forgotten to put his Army into Winter quarters despite being acknowledged as the unbeatable General of his age. Most accounts of his disastrous Russian Campaign tend to suggest if rather tacitly that he couldn't have known of the effects of the Russian Winter or that once he did, La Grande Armee was unable to adequately cope with it. The remark there was some unusual personal factor in his failure might seem borne out by the absurdity of the de facto suggestion that a Commander of Napoleon's contemporary reputation and experience wouldn't have gone about seeking first and foremost and in the most assiduous professional manner the most accurate information about logistical possibilities from the moment his Imperial ambition conceived the Campaign, to the time he commenced his march westward; it furthermore seems to present itself upon further consideration that no-one but the most rank sort of amateur would do other than seek by every available and contrasting means to identify and assess accurate information about local geography, weather, sources of food and material upon so doing. The innovation of organising an Army into separate self supporting corps was specifically Napoleon's own and the remark that there's something we haven't been told in the story that the most advanced and technologically capable Army ever to have existed, under the Leadership of one of history's most feared and respected battlefield generals, made some kind of huge error of judgement in the simplest most obvious assessment of what it required to survive in a literally decimated and thoroughly humiliating retreat let alone fight, seems an increasingly reasonable suspicion.

The salient facts appear to be that she was firstly extremely fortunate in her young existence since so many demographic statistics were compartmentalised into dark satanic mills in the early 1800s. Having lost an unremarkable Blacksmith Father at two months old she acquired socialisation in various differing households in widely varying English regions and perhaps most importantly in terms of assessing her political impact, acquired significant experience of the Theatre as a Maid to contemporary actresses. The Gentleman MP and Earl's Son whose Mistress she became, subsequently found it expedient to marry for money and deposited her in the Household of an Uncle Sir Wm Hamilton Ambassador at Naples, who she married at 26 yrs of age in 1791: the fact he was sixty would have exaggerated her role and authority even if his interest was perhaps rather to facilitate the convenient marriage of a penurious Nephew. It was also the case however that he Hamilton was a bit of a culture vulure as we might say today and Emma found full scope for innovative dramatic and artistic spectacle which began capturing the interest of Europe's greatest movers and shakers in the years immediately subsequent to the French Revolution and captured the romantic interest of England's top Naval Commander Lord Nelson whilst attending his brief to restrain French interest in the Italian Peninsular.

The suggestion seems to be that fortune had made her more than what every professional spy of the period aspired to be and the fact that the greatest General of the Age forgot to undertake as much as a couple of weeks preparations for winter quartering of his Army that might have preserved as much as ninety percent of it, instead of the horrific looking ten per cent which managed to eventually return to France after being ravaged by a Winter retreat it never really recovered from, is something more singularly owing to her presence than is easy to explain or admit since political correctness rejected her from Society after Nelson's death and martyrdom, or at least that is what we've heard. It is of course the province of specialised social history scholars to evaluate and express an accurate and meaningful psychological exposition on the role, status and capabilities of European Women in the period rather than for me to indecently assert a given perspective as valid, but the remark seems to be that Napoleon didn't comprehend, or couldn't imagine that such a versatile and evolved female personality could or did exist let alone that it was capable of practising disastrously upon him, with or without the fact of her intimate relationship with the most dangerous man alive. I find the suggestion that there might be such an unremarked tale of such psychological significance lurking in study of an era dominated by Industry and that it is perhaps sadly tainted by such allegations as that authors are still failing to relate the precise and meaningful truth about what happened at Trafalgar immediately compelling not least because as a nation to have destroyed the greatest military threat of the 19th century by some simple ruse or personal deception is quite a feat but to have persuaded the greatest threat in the twentieth to precisely copy the manner of its destruction does in fact seem to point to the most extraordinary imaginable sort of allegations, questions, and inferences about human potential and behavioural science as well as in war and politics.

What struck me as chilling and grimly fascinating was that of course most who describe serious or great military conflicts do so from a given sort of viewpoint: whether for instance as an habitual exaggeration of numbers from accounts of Famous battles in the Ancient World or as contemporay Journalists limited by access to restricted intelligence. This we tend to evaluate and express as far as objectivity will allow when we say that oh its clear to understand why such and such had to write approvingly of this and that regime when the meaningful Onion was really whatnot thingummyjig and the other. What struck me quite cold however was the fact that One does entirely expect that much material from the last century's great conflicts does remain classified and relates to matters still entirely within the living memory of some, so one does expect a little reproving reticence from right leaning political and judicial figures when left leaning social historians seek to make negative portrayals of the moral and ideological predilections of a traditional social order for instance, with the presentation of grim facts about the actions of Governments and Individuals that still impinge on the existences of the legally responsible and the merely extant. but I found myself as I say, rather taken aback by the fact that some of the remarks being aired and contemplated in the latest best examination of Nelson's life and times not only have not been examined before but that any other information about Trafalgar other than that which relates to a stirring patriotic tale of heroism for the surviving british class system has been as badly mangled by Spin Doctors and Propagandists as any of the major events of history I have as yet examined in any detail.

The real surprise was the sensation that it still is when even the worst of details and critical perspectives on the Great War nowadays only seem to elicit a little token sort of posturing on the part of national authorities even the MoD that there is some active if informal sort of censorship still palpably aimed at the maintenance of such an uncomplicated interpretation of the event. It does seem reasonable to surmise this as perhaps the result of the obvious difficulty of assessing the actions of the Third Reich in setting off WW2 in terms of there being still many ongoing legal and political wrangles far from resolved. If one accepts that the tale that an aggrieved Germany unilaterally held to account for WW1, had lost WW2 because some great deception of personal vanity had somehow been planted on Hitler as he strove to assess and emulate The British Empire then it is indeed tempting to imagine that he was manipulated or manouevred into repeating the gist of a little known or considered perspective on Napoleon as a man and personality and that it has been so little mentioned in relevant comment, precisely because the kind of establishment backstabbing and treachery aimed at justifying the political fallout from Trafalgar that arguably takes the shape of the undeserving profiting from a wave of inappropriate or certainly unworthy neglect of Lady Hamilton as an Adulteress despite Nelson's having expressed a request that the nation care for her after the event of his death, frustrating any deeply sincere or accurate public preoccupation with questions of justice and deserving in that Nelson for example was acquainted with both the Hanoverian heir to the throne and the Jacobite Pretender whom I believe had acquired an iberianised name.

What is not conjecture is that Lady Hamilton was tall and commanded so many contemporaries said: an intense physical presence that was matched by a breadth of life experience statistically unthinkable among anglo-irish characters of the period; an unobtrusive, unassuming back door entrance into the most significant political events of the day from several linguistic viewpoints, an enormous propensity for artistic invention and social extemporaneity that often elicited some apparently unintentional offence among Gentrywomen of the day. She seems to have been described as the sort of person who would stoop to make funny voices and dirty jokes in the company of rough Seamen with as much ease as she could converse earnestly and meaningfully with aristocrats on details of the key social, political and military events of the day; it also seems accepted that she and Nelson are significantly accorded to be inventors of the modern day celebrity walkabout on a diplomatic procession through central Europe and it is easy if tragic to consider that their Adultery was used as a pretext for discrediting and muzzling anything in the least bit progressive in the way of insightful gossip about an event which effectively guaranteed the British class system could proceed with no imaginable sort of exterior challenge capable of threatening it for many generations.

It's easy to imagine contemporary politicians musing that if such a story were plausibly related in anything but the sketchiest of detail about such an individual being among Napoleon's enemies the key voice that had thwarted his reasoning, composed, intellect and ambition that it would have all sorts of appalling repercussions in an inevitably implied criticism of the ruling class and ruling class behaviour. Not least in the minds of numbers of oppressed and dispossessed leaving the land for industrial work, their lives saturated with social propaganda about their deserving social superiors, and the notorious London Mob.

28 11 14

I suppose I have often wondered how the Russians explain to other Russians the fact of the Soviet Union's non aggression pact with Hitler and their joining with him in the carving up of pre war Poland. Having recently read SS Montefiore's authoritative biography of Stalin it became something of a sinister sort of conclusion that modern Russia's problems may fairly be said to lie in the mass executions of any of Stalin's potential rivals throughout the twenties and thirties. Apart from the deaths of those perceived as a possible political threat, many became victims of ruthless central planning or inflamed ethnic tensions and the impression I got was that as the Soviet Union entered or found itself embroiled in the Cold War that its population, or perhaps rather its internal political nation must have resembled something like a patchwork of visibly estranged interest groups officially held together by the belt buckle of marxist ideologies and the eventual success of what I believe came to be known as the Great Patriotic War in 1945.

30 11 14

There has been a rash of Newspaper Articles this week which point to the fact that the Police routinely ignore reports of huge numbers of crimes which have been juxtaposed against the suggestion that in relatively recent decades there have been paedophile murder scandals at the centre of the nation's political establishment. This seems very much consonant with a lot of what I have unfortunately had to say about them simply picking and choosing what they want to send along to the CPS and in my case actually significantly inventing the matter of and motive for a Prosecution so soon after a trail of obvious errors in appraising the facts about my Father and his other Son. As far as I can work out most people I know do realise to at least some extent that I'm not the kind of person who would stoop to manicuring my reputation in the way that seems to be routinely applied by people once they become PolicePersons. Whilst I might concede that my world view isn't shall we say without pretensions, I think it considerably obvious that I'd be far too enormously embarrassed to start hiding messages and letters about Court Cases: that something stinks about the way my own history has been managed behind the scenes by this branch of public service is instanced only too well by the fact they had mixed up his details with mine in respect of some parking tickets on a vehicle I didn't even own about a year before they decided to ignore the fact he and they were being and had been an immense antisocial nuisance for several years prior to their attaching the most absurd credence to drunken allegations of assault in 2002. With regard to the audience of official persons such as: Teachers; Doctors; Social Workers; Solicitors; Magistrates and Welfare Workers, I should seek to reiterate that this had already had just about the most serious and damaging consequences it possibly could have by 2003 excepting the fact of some sort of serious personal injury everything I had worked a lifetime to piece together was effectively gone. By the time in 2008 when it became apparent that the well documented miscreant author of this allegation was not going to exceed the life expectancy of five years that I made early in 2002 by more than about eighteen months, I had no reason to believe that those involved with taking his allegations seriously instead of accepting that at first sight he was verifiably something like a professional nuisance complainant and taking a little trouble to dig underneath the surface to find a rather more sinister story of his plausible guilty motivation and an accurate reproduction of the facts as I spelled them out at the time, had drawn any other conclusion than that they had perpetrated an appalling error, especially since the fact being, apart from the damage that was done to me by rendering me homeless just as I needed a break from several years of fairly hard and conscientiously undertaken works of various descriptions. As far as trying to persuade Doctors that I am or have been imagining things and with particular regard to the fact I had immediately pointed to the fact I had always trusted my paternal Aunt until her performance on the night of my Father's death, and it being the case that what I asserted about the fact of it becoming thus apparent she had surreptitiously sowed the most uncomplimentary sort of misunderstandings in meticulous detail over some decades, just happens to neatly fit with all the details I have consistently related to such Officials since the late 1990s.

08 12 14

I have to admit I'm rather disappointed with the reaction I had yesterday from what is billed as a National Medical Negligence Helpline at http://www.clinical-medical-negligence.co.uk/ as I had thought that the simple fact of my having had a complaint upheld by the Chief Executive of the Local Area Health Authority in respect of my Doctor's failure to call me back on the Monday of a Week I was due to an enforced self defence in a Local Court, rendered it something of a formality to have them taken to Court for Damages since in the first instance nothing at all was resolved as this document implies.

The names of several Doctors have been removed from this letter in order to at least spare their blushes in at least the short term. What is of the remark that if a fraction of the effort that has all too clearly gone into confusing and misrepresentative evasion in seeking to reach some kind of entirely fictional conclusion had been applied to proper consideration of the case as and when it first arose I would quite likely have been leading a happy productive taxpaying existence a long time before the date of the document. The relevant fact is that I consider that I was continually treated rudely and inappropriately and that the happy little outcome which doesn't exist was marked by an extensive unreferenced correspondence having been greeted by a little too much in the way of insulting silences and feigned politenesses concealing some apparent determination to ignore repeated questions and suggestions of some evident significance.

Among other things it was not possible to conduct any further dialogue beyond saying it was inappropriate for a GP to have written to the Court without my directing its content as I saw it, I have continually expressed complete dissatisfaction with all that has been said to me and nothing could be more untruthful than the suggestion of any constructive resolution.

At this moment in time I feel little could be more obvious than that there isn't the slightest scrap of truth in the conclusions framed and that when I further sought to contact this Institution's Office not even a reference number relating to the matter could be found. I am having to consider what was as early as 2006 the unimaginable circumstance that for some reason the GP had not even made the most basic of an accurate summation of my Case with regard to what might be appropriate action of some sort. This is in respect of the assertion that I had taken a considerable trouble to explain myself to a young Lady Doctor at the Practice when I ended up nearby in 2002 sometime. Whilst without going through the Paperwork I have tried to retain I can't immediately tell you off the top of my head whether I had signed off sick originally as the result of some exhaustion and stress as I moved in with my Father or as the result of having then been made homeless when ridiciculous credence had been attached to his utterances, I had not sought to convey in particular that I needed any other consideration of some miscellaneous diagnosis of very severe upset being inflicted on me as the result of a malicious and criminally motivated intrigue on the part of my Father and had generally assumed that some confirmation of underlying circumstances would have been passed up from a Dr Williams who had been the family GP since at least the sixties to my knowledge. Given that certain memories relevant to the suggestion were 'discovered,' and that for instance I did seek to make some significant discussion of these having been considerably surprised by the fact of their existence it had seemed reasonable to conclude in view of the fact I wasn't being accused of weaving some sort of red herring or otherwise distracting deception from some sort of personal guilt, that since the principally evident conclusion was that other relatives also had motives for portraying me badly in that the apparent approximate circumstance of my Father having been reluctant to discuss his marital history when it was not only appropriate but necessary became more obviously part of a logically coherent story concerning the suggestion of his vulnerability to Blackmail in that he was obviously not the sole participant in the references to criminal behaviour in the discovered memories.

If a lot of this might seem difficult to get your head round it does happen to be the case that aside from the reasonable expectation of a very good reference from a not entirely insignificant spell of doing voluntary work with infirm and elderly that I have made two very significant diagnoses of life threatening medical conditions in my career to date. Without repeating the details the fact they were respectively studiously ignored and castigated as "useless book knowledge by my Mother's family in 1979." The other had also been dismissed by quite a number of medical professionals and medical semi-professionals whilst it seems my Father was fastening certain misconceptions about circumstances on people generally involved with care for the elderly at around the turn of the Millennium. Both these Uncles died within about a month of the diagnoses I sought to make fairly swiftly on meeting them having been finally accepted, in the latter case within minutes if not seconds. When it is the case that not once has any person connected with these misdirections ever made any sort of formal or informal apology and that if it is not the case that both my parents have been cursed from on high in some respect or other that they are reluctant to discuss for some obviously less than entirely worthy motive why is it that they have displayed complete disinterest even disappointment in the fact of such laudable achievements.

Without discussing the truth or otherwise of the story: what I had given this Doctor's predecessor to understand was that I'd had a very difficult past having been entirely neglected at school age, that my Father's behaviour was considered thoroughly disreputable by other parents, that he had disappeared abroad as the striking response to conversation about it and that I had been dumped in a sink estate miles from where I had been attending school and that I have consistently complained that I was violently set on by a Solicitor who wanted me convicted for burgling the place in '85 and that I have been consistently complaining about it ever since; that among other things over a decade later I still owned nothing but a few cases of books and worthless bric a brac of absolutely zero value excepting a portable colour TV and that it took me another decade of a very unsupported humble and abstemious existence to acquire the basics of a functional household consisting of little more than a Motorcycle Licence for a very old, small and cheap motorcycle which I was nearly forty before I could afford, a Computer and quantities of documents, clothes, books and tools of little value and that it had all, been largely stolen by my half brother or others who took advantage of my immediate homelessness, lost in the course of taking nearly a year to get what was left in one place, or otherwise rendered worthless by the negligent attitude of numerous responsible parties and public officials as the result of what my Father sought to put over on the Police in 2002 . The fact paperwork on the address in question was held by him indicated little more than the easily verifiable fact he had just sold various deceptions to a string of Officials. Whilst it unquestionably was a fact that the blokes in the local Housing Office had just heard we would be sharing the place and that any question about updating such paperwork was in my mind more of an afterthought formality given the trials of the prior few years it wasn't so immediately obvious that for instance Councillor Mowles arguably had some interest in the maintenance of deceptions about me which he seems to have knowingly accepted for many years: there was no reason not to have accepted my story and every reason to have declined his let alone have made and dropped a Prosecution against me and a fat fee collecting Solicitor refusing to engage in any helpful correspondence of any sort.

The point was that after my Father's death late in 2008 this Doctor replaced that which I had been seeing previously: It seemed a perfectly reasonable assumption that she would realise the significance of the rapidly made and repeated remark that this had been the culmination of an unreservedly nightmarish scene in the ER. The half brother benefiting from a wave of criminal terror in the years prior to 2002, had made threats to me after unexpectedly returning here later that year, and as I understand it belatedly acquiring a criminal record also soon after returning to pillage my belongings. His having been insultingly called to the Hospital before me by our Aunt who as I say clearly betrayed her role in fashioning much of these misunderstandings in also effectively instigating the violent behaviour which led to his death at a particular moment and it being perhaps the only exchange which she hadn't had an opportunity to carefully manage since my earliest days. The fact it does remain the case I'm not myself presently believed to be violent by any relevant medical professional and as a matter of fact never have, is among the details of my own existence it seemed clear that she was trying to confuse and manipulate.

I assumed this Doctor would know of the story of how I had been ruined by inept responses of Police to inept actions in 2002, that they themselves could not have any other reason than to have ruefully accepted the magnitude of their mistake in misinterpreting the fact of my not having an up to date joint tenancy on the place I had moved to with the full acceptance and awareness of Council Officials and others who had noted that after years of complaints the Police were failing to make accurate or adequate responses to my half brother's beating of my Father, and that I had taken immense trouble over solving the problem by getting him on a Plane back to his Mother's family in the then recent future.

So I was really thinking of getting some sort of support from her to that effect when they surprisingly ignored continued pleas to have him arrested after illegally rifling the deceased Father's sheltered accommodation the following day and making the task of getting a new start with some money I hadn't been expecting and which I eventually didn't get as it was largely taken from me in a shocked state of disbelief at the fact that not only was I not going to get any peace or resolution even with his death but that I was going to have to embark on years of pointless letter writing presiding over a dramatic decline in health and be robbed of what it was supposed to have been worth. I had thought it within the wider scope of a GP's activities to have suggested to the Constabulary that my headache and years long sickness in the last part of Town in the least bit appropriate in any way were directly attributable to my half brother's unlawful persuasions within the context of a coherent story over an increasing number of years and that it was absolutely essential that he be prevented from exerting any more destructive violence than he consistently had.

In the first two years after the end of 2008 I had pretty much stuck to the line of saying why have you not done this and couldn't possibly imagine it not being the case after all my attempts to define the situation in terms of the impact 2002 had on a very badly neglected and served almost forty year old, that the new Doctor would not have had prompted at least a salient observation as to the some such brief explanation of events if not the specific suggestion that such action should be undertaken. It was in the assumption that they should have been apologetic about this when various fresh disasters occurred one after the other up until the day I found myself the victim of endless legal harassment about a thoroughly mean spirited Prosecution based on bald lies originating from the same Police Force in the same Town without the slightest scrap of legal advice coming from a Firm of Lawyers who had lied to me to obtain my signature and are as of today's date continuing to add considerably to all my other woes as have at least two major regulatory bodies concerned with supervising the activities of Solicitors, when I asked for what seemed a response to a logical question for which I was told to await a Phone call back they instead reacted generally badly and as I say as of today's date I have largely lost any confidence and respect for GP's and the Health Service, have no idea what this letter is meant to do for me and am unlikely to place any confidence or trust in those associated with it any point in the near future. In terms of information I can only make the vague assertion that the most basic summation of any meaningful information about my case has not been passed down from one GP to another: this is the only thing in the least bit clear to me at all.

The Doctor principally referred to left the Practice a year ago and as I say despite what is said in the letter it did not prove to be within the capability of of the requisite Office to retain any record of the letter or any of the matters referred to in it. Before doing so and quite doubtless being aware this was the case she did fail to respond the the fact I had eventually asked her if she had actually read any of hundreds of pages of letters all these events had occasioned over more than a decade then, or was she working on suggestions made by a Clerk opening the Mail, or had anyone read them at all. The overall picture which can often be adduced in public servants as the result of Blairite fascination with performance related targets is that the structure of the letter tends to suggest that the Practice has been doing some work with the patient in referring to appointments, situations and actions which have served less than no useful purpose at all to the Patient . This kind of cheap practice is in many ways all too grubbily familiar but what is rather more sinister is the tendency arguably corroborated by the Mail article below which is rather to the effect that it is simply too difficult to make complaints or comments other than prearranged answers to prearranged questions ticking off performance targets.

There was no Appointment made by me as referred to on April 30th but it was in fact another mistake made by a Clerk as far as I know.

I documented a great deal more unhappiness that week than an odd miscellaneous migraine, the nature of the magnitude of the understatement is in itself an exercise in deception thoroughly ill considered and insulting.

As far as GP's not being able to offer a sick note I obviously did realise that after months of being treated to snotty evasions in response to a perfectly reasonable request and its's again simply not true that I was provided with supporting documentation. The Doctor hastily penned a worthless and entirely meaningless couple of sentences off her own bat without waiting for me to say what was needed as a pretence of atonement for months of misunderstanding which ommitted the least necessary comment, such as the reasonable suggestion she should have owned up to being responsible for my not being in Court by failing to relate the fact when it may have been of some use to me, and as far as I'm aware this was in any case contemptuously binned by other public servants racking up other performances at the CourtHouse. She was supposed to have been apologetically helping me structure correspondence with several bodies/institutions concerned with an ever larger paper trail, and besides any other negligence was very much an additional nuisance by dashing off a couple of insultingly brief letters that explained nothing at all and only worsened my confusion and upset.

What is unquestionably of the assertion this does not constitute providing supporting documentation it constitutes doing what the hell you like and adds insult to considerable injury. The mention of Practice Records is entirely irrelevant as none of the issues had been addressed in meetings which are referred to in which as the Mail Article suggests there is no realistic way of getting complaints addressed. Doctors and their Clerks and Managers in my case have had far too much opportunity to systematically turn their considerably expensive professional skills and resources against persons having any sort of valid complaint, on the part of persons already seriously ill or troubled before the fact of realising that their trust in such professionals was misplaced. After the necessity of waiting weeks to dispute even the smallest detail or issue there is little chance that what the Patient will remember to say what he or she needs to and the Doctor in question has little trouble in shrugging off or ignoring what the Patient really seeks to express.

I do not feel she has supported me at all and that her actions are rather contemptuously self interested. I have to assert that for some reason or other she cannot have even appraised the most basic facts about my case and that there was no means of engaging in any sort of dialogue about the fact. I really can't understand the details in the rest of the letter and without months of paper sorting can't check the allegations about correspondence but as I say ignoring my request for information about who if anyone reads the Mail in the Practice and what exactly they might happen to do with it was about the last thing she did so it is anyone's guess.

She may not have had even the most basic resume of hundreds of pages of correspondence from prior to her arrival at the Practice I really don't know. The Consultant Psychiatrist and her Social Worker were not prompted as they should and I had to cut them off when they proved self obssessed and demanding. This worsened to the point of my having to declare them incompetent and quite offensive after they had again considerably added to the logistical difficulties of keeping up with so many worthless public servants and services. I find it impossible to credit that they had not been prompted to go after the Legal Advisers who'd stood me up for any help after lying to get me to sign documents, or any of the other parties involved with the fact I had not only been robbed of the money in my Father's Will, but had been lied to by Care Home Staff and ignored by the Police after the Death Certificate was misdated and the Hospital Staff evaded complaints about what they had allowed to happen when my Father died in the ER.

It became apparent then as I say that the Doctor cannot have been furnished with even the most basic and essential resume by her predecessor but at that point I was going to have to shelve pointless complaints after increasing years of the most distressing and fruitless response to endless letter writing. The apology or apologies referred to are without any value except to those making a earning significantly whilst mistakes are being made and apologies written at the public expense. I clearly find clearly find them as entirely unacceptable and worthless as everything else about this Practice and the systematised pretence of goodwill and fellowship that is the worthless national health service: worthless to everyone except the authors of empty self indulgent drivel employed by it in respect of free medicine that should clearly be viewed with much more suspicion than trust.

The letter is a profoundly upsetting mess of higgledy piggledy ideas and suggestions that don't seem to relate to each other at all. It doesn't scan or have any coherent meaning other than saying the Doctor wants you to believe this and that which I obviously will not. I've been refused the medication I have asked for and I do not feel my concerns, have been addressed in any genuine or appropriate way.

I already knew all the facts and alleged facts referred to how could I not? What is the point of telling me about Appointments that I have attended? The real point is that after extensive Consultations the Doctor I had been seeing previously had agreed with everything I had said about being the victim of Conspiracy by family members and all I had asked her to do was seek to persuade the Constabulary accordingly: this should have immediately been conveyed to the Constabulary when the half brother started behaving violently at and subsequent to my Father's death. I think it clear that he should have been diagnosed as a Paranoid Schizophrenic and that it is significantly owing to DR BEB Williams that this error has been made, in much the same way as I was being blamed for his Parking tickets with my name attached to his other details.

How is it supposed to constitute having addressed any of various problems which are in fact significantly more real than matters of some vague concern or other as it is put? There are numerous other other obvious consequences to me personally such as in being dragged off a sick bed to be convicted by a Court that seems to lose or ignore everything it is sent or asked without any idea as to exactly why. Far more concern seems to have been applied to portraying the Practice as responding well to an only partially explained mistake than in any appropriate concern for the patient. There is a long term neglect and a long term misappraisal of my case that is quite deliberate in nature. Little has had as negative an impact on my health as the NHS now has insofar as it seems putting any trust, confidence or respect in a longstanding family Doctor who had already accepted one way or another various fictions promoted by erstwhile relatives, had perhaps made it the lesser of various inconveniences for him to be unable to pass on a truthful or accurate comment about me such as for instance should have been made as a School Leaver and/or subequently passed on to a successor in 2002. This may be some contributing reason as to why the Doctor I was seeing in early 2008 could have felt it inappropriate to do otherwise as she either did not pass as much as thirty seconds worth of written summation on to the Doctor I saw from the beginning of 2009 or that Doctor did not make a proper inspection of case notes. This seems to have remained the case when she left the Practice about 12 months ago by which time it was increasingly pointless for me to seek to pursue any dialogue about this or any associated matter.

It might seem worth reiterating that it was a year after being made homeless and therefore not until early 2003 that I had collected what I could of my belongings and papers into the nightmarish ill designed Flat above a bookmakers roughly at the junction of three working class working class estates often described as the worst in the entire region. This being the case and the fact that the one working motorcycle I had was stolen from outside an interim address where I had been enviously eyeing the superior accommodation alloted to Iraqi refugees and the other which wasn't, would soon be stolen from outside this place and all the other usual sorts of difficulties there was then little point in verifying what I had related over a year before about the absurdity of heeding the fact of what Paperwork my Father had on the Flat given a very few facts which I won't bother to repeat again here. The damage had been done and it was nothing like the fact of the matter that I would be able to get meaningfully back on my feet for years even if I'd had limitless resources instead of none and even had it not been the case that it had taken the whole prior forty years of my life to acquire a household worth no more than a couple of thousand pounds at best. Without a Solicitor taking some action there was in any case no apparent means of obtaining any redress for anything to do with the consequences of the fact that the Police brought charges against me instead of sensibly seeking to verify the facts as I put them even though the Saga of dysfunctional complaints about both Father and half brother appears to have continued unabated from 2003. The One vastly overfed female who accepted a fee for handling the matter refused to write as much as a single letter on my behalf since for instance it remained urgent to contact the WRVS which I'd been working for with a view to substantiating what had been known to be the case about events from the late nineties when my Father and half brother had appeared in the Country after about fifteen years absence insofar as I was in fact owed a good reference: she claims to have somehow been of some assistance that she refuses to define which I find to be entirely wilfully rude, unhelpful and deceitful as would surely most.

Rebecca Camber's Daily Mail Article about Disturbing Levels of Unrecorded Crime from Nov 18

Jenny Hope for the Daily Mail on Problems with NHS Complaints Procedures from Dec 8th

Guardian Article on the debacle of Greece from 1944 by Ed Vulliamy and Helena Smith

22 01 15

I think the political situation(s) described in the latter document tend to suggest overwhelmingly the need for proper historical objectivity.

Interesting to note that the Media establishment is in the process of admitting that a Paedophile Coterie exists at the top of British Society and has infested Westminster for at least several decades. There are numerous articles in circulation Sir Peter Morrison onetime deputy chairman of the Tory Party seems to be the leading figure named though Keith Joseph and Rhodes Boyson also seem to have been involved if increasingly credible and well substantiatd allegations are to be believed.

Educated at Oxford and elected as MP for Chester in 1974, Sir Peter came from a wealthy political dynasty who own the whisky-producing island of Islay in the Hebrides. His father was close friends with Lady Thatcher while his sister Mary is one of the Queen's most senior ladies-in-waiting. Knighted in 1988, he later became the prime minister's parliamentary secretary before running her 1990 re-election campaign, which saw her lose office.

It seems clear that this was widely known at Westminster. Besides providing profound substance to the justification for moral anti establishmentarianism it ought not to be overlooked that the probable truth about Democracy and the so called Opposition is that more Labour MP's joined in than tried to expose it. It is an especially shocking circumstance that evidence can easily be taken to suggest that Morrison murdered a young victim on Charles Windsor's (first) wedding day.

One would tend to think there would be more reason to go digging up and dishonouring these deceased Members' corpses than that of the chump Jimmy Savile, who has not even informally been accused of any kind of Murder as far as I am aware. I think JS Gummer's comments about critics of ministerial probity putting or shutting up on the death of Leon Brittan make a less than edifying contribution to discussion of the most serious allegations about certain of his erstwhile colleagues. Given Brittan's association with certain tainted figures and the fact of the timing of his decease occurring alongside the appearance of these revelations, it is a perfectly reasonable suspicion if he wasn't actually involved that he did obfuscate critical enquiry.

01 02 15

This makes particularly troubling reading if you're thinking about being taken advantage of by Politicians, and for example don't want to believe that the modern Labour Party is involved in an increasingly worthless ritualised pretence of concern for the disadvantaged and increasingly a tool for unscrupulous and well resourced Financiers.

Property Developers Exploiting Planning Authorities and Ruining our Cities: The Guardian's Oliver Wainwright 28 01 15

12 02 15

Quick Reference to Some Contemporary News Stories

These are some stories I feel worthy of some further comment

There are so many dangerous news stories floating about recently that One is almost spoilt for choice in selecting stories that tend to support a world view that inevitably proffers a negative view of the international political establishment. The story about how a recently murdered Argentine Public Prosecutor Alberto Nisman had been examining the possibility of arraigning the President has been rather overshadowed by conflicts in the Middle East and Ukraine: it would seem the Argentine Government had frustrated attempts to pin a 1994 bombing of a Jewish Community Centre on Iran.

The Charlie Hebdo Murders have exposed much of the sort of hypocrisy and double standards that are the cause of so much disaffection with political leadership in the western world. The murder of thousands of innocent civilians in Central Africa at the hands of Muslim Extremists hardly got a mention. Some of the characters who turned up to demonstrate their sincerity and solidarity are hardly known as upholders of civil liberties and I don't see how this reverence for freedom of speech squares with the nasty sort of criticism levelled at the BBC's Tim Willcox for saying, 'Many critics though of Israel's policy would suggest that the Palestinians suffer hugely at Jewish hands as well.' It really is a very mild and very valid remark about the value of objective reporting, and it is entirely hypocritical to disapprove or censure its legitimate exercise in this manner.

The fiftieth anniversary of Churchill's death has prompted the appearance of quite a few curious looking bits of footage out of the BBC Archives: generally speaking I somehow get the feeling that he is one of those historical figures that get mistaken for his Partner. If Albert of Saxe Coburg Gothe was in fact an illegitimate half caste as now seems indubitable then the Churchills were among those who accepted the deception and the fact of WW2 a mess significantly of his own making. It ought not to be forgotten that for all the paeans of praise heaped on his head, that Poland for which he belatedly took the UK into War, has only just been freed from half a century of totalitarian occupation. Does it seem trite to suggest this a less than glorious consequence of British Guarantees of security from the pre-war period? Surely the cause if perhaps not the blame for the Holocaust ought to be accorded to ruling class inadequacy and hypocrisy: I don't believe that more than a very few figures raised under Imperialism such as Churchill, ever seriously imagined that there would ever be any simple or easy way to bring them meaningfully to account.

24 02 15

I was yesterday afternoon saddened and rather taken aback to hear of the death of a local Churchwarden and ex Headmaster of a local Primary School last year. The unfortunate fact as far I am concerned is that he was one of very few people living who could have corroborated and added to the picture I have found of the political and historical circumstances underlying my macabre personal history. Not only that but it also seems he was predeceased by his Wife about three years ago, which makes the discovery quite ghoulish since it was about three years ago that I sought to contact him in the role of possible legal corroborations of the real nature of my family background and perhaps a few more specific things salient amongst which is certainly the matter of whether or not a certain Lady Biology Teacher from Copleston has feigned the role of some kind of friendly acquaintance of mine, and if so as to what extent.

I hadn't seen him about personally for some time and the last time I'd swear to it was perhaps three years or more when he nodded hello as he passed me among a group of odd characters including a tall one legged man and a pale looking ex soldier at one of the Coffee Houses on the Town's central Crossroads adjacent the Old White Horse where Charles Dickens is said to have stayed.

I may have seen him once or even twice since then without noticing, and had been seen to note that his latest Picture in the Church definitely showed him to be a man showing his years and the burden of a lifetime's work at Christmas 2012 and 2013, though I didn't make it last year. As Headmaster of a downtown Primary School up to at least the early eighties he was a silent witness to my arrival in the Town Centre as a youth and to many of the more significant events in Ipwsich's inner urban community at that time and since, and of course in the decades before. Being tall and dark I think it was inevitably the case John Bonney was viewed as a vampirish reactionary by many of the typically ideologically left leaning denizens of the Urban landscape around the Town, and the fact of his presence likely accounts for the manner in which I found myself sarcastically recounting a spurious version of my own Father's teaching career upon the occasion of his Own decease. I would have said that he and my Father were to some extent ideological protagonists in the mini society of the Ipswich of the later 1950's or something rather like that in the days of the Manor Ballroom since he seemed, or that is to say at least I got the idea for some reason that to a significant extent he knew of my own Father's story from courting days. Not knowing where he lived I had intended to foward him certain elaborations and emendations to the observations and questions I had specifically framed about three years ago insofar as I say; a very few and diminishing number of people can recall the person and character of either of my paternal Grandparents and it had seemed a fair supposition that he knew my Father's story by reputation and association with the Town and East Suffolk, especially if there was something unusual about it in the manner my Father had cryptically suggested such was the case in his own final months.

I have likely been distracted from proper consideration by the realisation that another even older near neighbour was likely to have seen the same familial story from a slightly different perspective. I was seeking to apologise for not having been down to make sure of seeing him personally again, and had sought to explain that the manner in which the dog had just died was something I found to have robbed me of my last reserves of courage and invention given the absurdly repetitive manner in which I was being haunted by an increasingly suspicious looking series of disasters which have left me quite uncomprehending in terms of an obvious single sort of coherent explanation.

I suppose the gist of it was that I had actually sought to give some good account of a certain incident of criminal behaviour within the Church itself in the early eighties, by the mid nineties during the occasion of a certain amount of discussion of my career prospects (which seem to have been seriously flawed) and that as most would, I had forgotten about this by the later nineties. It was intertwined with many others that have also occurred in central Ipswich over many years now, some of which were of the most serious variety of criminal incident and one way or another it hadn't stuck in my mind at all. It isn't really an oversight to have failed to have one among many quite meaningfully related incidents comprehensively or satisfactorily dealt with as almost none of them have. It seems that some overoptimistic story or stories about my Father's reputation particularly in respect of parenting had been misrepresented to many I had become acquainted with in the Town over the years and I suppose I had thought to elicit some agreement that his respectability and effectiveness in any responsible role were considerably less than had been postured. I obviously feel the need to reiterate that when I had been accused of shoplifting in 1981, that it should have been construed that strictly speaking I was rather trying to remember the details of the familial circumstances that had left me robbed of what little I owned than guiltily refusing to acknowledge a fault or inadequacy of my own which didn't exist, and that I was firstly a misled, dazed and shocked victim of crime with legitimate not culpable reasons for wanting to forget about company that had criminal inclinations, largely as the result of my experiences in a Comprehensive School in Ipswich, and dodgy parents who had, among other things literally sought to prostitute me, and that this should already have been accepted long before 1981 had arrived.

If he had been involved in the formal and informal exchanges and debate about crime which had seen the Krays caged for Life then he may have harboured some motivational reluctance to be critical of my Father. Whilst this is very interesting I felt what I really needed was some confirmation of the fact I had not sought to ignore any conversation about any allegation of criminal behaviour and that for instance if my Landlord in 2001 had thought I was that he happened in fact to be entirely mistaken, and that for instance I was not personally aware that he (Mr Bonney) had made any specific verbal remark about the matter.

The unfortunate fact is, that one or two characters seem to have gotten the wrong impression about what happened there and used it as some justification for helping to sabotage my attempt to inherit a lousy few thousand pounds. So far, all I have gotten from my Father's Estate is endless headaches, years of work and a black coat. Out of two friends who offered me mysteriously counterproductive assistance with my Father's Obsequies, one unexpectedly lost his Job in the early months of the Coalition Gov't, and the other along with his family whom he commanded to attend are presently reeling under increasingly meaningful complaints and allegations of a relevant nature. I thought I had made it quite plain, indeed I thought it was quite plain, that the only sort of assistance I really did require was in insisting on the absolute necessity of persuading the Police that they had already made a number of disastrously expensive errors in their evaluation of criminal and dysfunctional behaviour in the near family, especially as far as my personal well being was concerned, and that it was a matter of the utmost urgency that my half brother be seized, censured and prevented from inflicting his violent demands on any arrangements. The consequence of the fact this didn't occur has wiped out further enormously valuable wherewithal of various sorts and this will continue to be worseningly the case until I have: a number of official retractions and apologies; some meaningful and satisfactory revenge; and a very significant fortune in compensation it being the case I have after all only just reinstated roughly what I had in terms of a household at the turn of the Millennium. It is as far as I know entirely certain that any failure to elicit this soon will entail violent and destructive vengeance of the more informal sort, and the seeking of asylum and retirement beyond the reach of the British Government for my own declining years: slavish acceptance of tyranny is not in my blood.

My Apologies to the Bonney Family if I had been anything less than my usual quite perfectly honest and truthful self, but the apparent fact that someone has related an entirely unaffordable, ludicrously overoptimistic and purely invented story about my circumstances in 1992 which John surely must have known was false, made this unavoidably necessary. It was the effective reality that I did not recall a particular incident from about ten years before and that it hadn't even crossed my mind even vaguely between the mid nineties and 2004 when accurate childhood memories resurfaced. I am not some grubby thieving dissembler acting deaf as appears to have been made the justification for fouling up my miserable affairs; I don't say that he didn't say something verbally to me about it or that someone didn't hear or notice it by some means but I do say, that I myself did not and what is overwhelmingly of the remark that I wasn't really to blame for the fact of a certain incident in the first place.

27 02 15

This morning the unfortunately deepening suspicion that a certain elderly neighbour has also passed on was sadly confirmed. This obviously helps to explain the deepening feeling of misgiving I've had all week and an accompanying sense of my own mortality weighing me down with dark thoughts.

28 02 15

To say that there is something of a story here is quite an understatement!

My immediate prescience of this very elderly neighbour's welfare has been tainted somewhat by the fact I have been putting up the Cousin of the Polish Tenant who lived downstairs when I moved into the building five years ago. That is to say this last month he has been sleeping in the downstairs hallway of my first floor Flat whilst trying to accumulate financial resources after two years of banging away at minimum wage shift work, and to some extent I have been moderately sidetracked from other aims: he's out most of the time when he isn't asleep especially when he actually has a shift to work. It seemed likely that for little additional inconvenience he might be able to inject a little positivity into my efforts if he was to bunk here and pay me the difference on my expenses at least until the spring weather should lend a fresh perspective on things generally. I was getting sick of hearing constant complaints about his accommodation and had figured that it wouldn't hurt much since I cook most days for myself and don't get many callers.

I did at least manage to get out and stand dutifully to attention the last time this neighbour had been taken to Hospital though I can't help but think now that something more might have been appropriate. I have to suggest as far as Community Affairs go generally that I'm not happy with some of the input I've been getting. For instance with Election year getting warmer I had recently learned that Chris Mole was no longer the Labour Candidate. In view of the fact the swing against Chris Mole was as far as I know generally associated with some of the more serious crime stories of recent years I queried with the new Candidate as to whether he or his Partner were indigenous to the Town insofar as any elaboration on that would entail a different comment or response to the new Candidate about them. This was probably several months ago and whilst Council Leader Ellesmere did vouchsafe that he is a Yorkshireman (as was Jamie Cann) I have had no response to the query as to whether his Partner Councillor Jones had anything like the insight that would be bestowed by for instance having grown up and attended School in the Borough or at least nearby.

It's remarkably easy to make various emotive comments about the lack of response and responsiveness from on high in that I would say it was probably true this Gentleman had once been a significant local citizen whose vote was coveted for reasons I won't immediately specify, but suffice it to say that several relevant and associated stories ought to be examined to some extent. For instance among the more sensational remarks that could seem highly plausible is that my comically offended reaction to a dysfunctional sort of neighbour from an ethnic minority could conceivably be taken as a comment from him on the unfortunate veracity of my theory about the Stephen Lawrence Affair: which was itself a long shot.

A few nights before my own Father died I was playing a second WW2 first person shooter as a Tommy in a computer simulated French Town. Among the remarks I have been husbanding in the last month or so is ...............?

Answers on a Post Card to the Secretary of your local Long John Silver Impersonators Club.

jk

On the death of an elderly neighbour

9th- 14th March with subsequent added notes

The truth about my involvement with the Labour Party had been that I had been filled with booze and pot and abandoned in corner of north wales after a young Socialists Conference. I did have a return train ticket but nothing else and not so much as a single penny with which to eat or drink. None of the friendly offers of assistance with my difficult personal situation had ever materialised. I didn't speak to anyone involved with them again until the time some wrongly presumed involvement was among the reasons I was given for being refused meaningful legal advice when Jamie Conn feigned that he didn't understand what I was saying and made out that he barely knew who I was.

The manner in which this occurred does tend to support the suggestion that someone thought I knew about some drug connection with the Krays. There seems little doubt that someone must have adduced this and that it must have been quite widely known that a significant element of my Father's problems since someone must have acquired and transmitted an entirely fictional version of my situation to political wannabees in 1980 which in view of its simple seriousness can have been no mean feat. I have explained elsewhere as to why given what I have gradually pieced together over the last ten or twelve years, it would have been immensely useful to a number of parties to have cultivated the impression that I did at that time. What is furthermore of the remark that these political wannabees knew they had generally speaking accepted the scriptings of my Father's relatives which had foolishly ignored his failings and despite my having always consistently signalled this thoroughly inappropriate to say the least .

In terms of the failings of party politics and with especial regard to the allegation that interested parties are far too keen to incite a pointless hostility about it, I had thought of saying to him that the brief look back at the history of recent Labour Governments occasioned by the death of Tony Benn glaringly exhibited its shortcomings. This was because many of the clips of him addressing Labour meetings in the latter eighties and subsequently tended to show how badly the Labour Movement had lost the plot in terms of its likelihood of forming a credible government or winning popular support for one on anything like the terms in which the post War Labour Party had come to expect. He was telling working men's representatives what they wanted to hear but the scenes were rather reminiscent of Hitler's doomed war effort in the latter half of 1944 than they were of any serious political or economic strategy. The rhetoric he was employing was thirty years out of date, a much longer time in the second half of the 20th century than in the first when so much characteristically left leaning ideology was formulated among mass political parties. The institutions of the left had been caught out by economic progress they weren't going to be allowed to manage. People were more interested in digital goodies, home ownership and cheap groceries than they were in a glaring lack of ideological vision. This remains all too evident today when Labour's leadership is still proselytising its concern for the poor and disavantaged in a manner which really only bespeaks of exploitation. We get much more of a Phone, a TV or a shopping basket for our money than we did in the eighties and are generally much better off. I have never heard even a single Labour Politician admit this and it is a glaring oversight for an Institution that claims to represent the concerns of the poorer half of society if its really just stirring discontent for its own benefit and in effect lying about what poverty is.

The fact is to try and put it concisely that much of this might be taken as evidence that at some point still within living memory my family background had been the subject of some unusual interest that was firstly quite widely perceived and secondly seen as originating from somewhere on high within the political nation at large. What is after all of the remark in general terms that I had never considered this as a possible miscellaneous factor in seeking to account for the horrified ongoing nightmare that became perceptibly characteristic of my existence from the age of five to six over the last winter of the 1960s, until roughly the time that my Father's end was upon him. The fact I should perhaps have at least considered such an explanation by the time I was say 25ish and that various aspects of an awful tale of underachievment and wasted opportunity arguably do point to it, is something I'm not keen to consider for the simple fact that without ever having had some meaningful or well intentioned legal advice which relates directly to the facts about my personal history, such consideration is realistically, subsumed to the realms of worthless speculation.

The last time I spoke to anyone connected with Labour in any sort of formal terms was when in about 1990 I couldn't make a more recent arrival to the Town one Councillor John Harrison understand my situation at all. He was enjoying a mid term bounce against the incumbent in a safe Tory seat in the adjoining constituency and wouldn't accept that I simply didn't want to know about any theoretical political relevance to my situation in any sense and felt far too badly pauperised by the failures I'd already had. It wasn't really to do with wanting to identify with a party in any sense and if I'd feigned to be willing to take the part of the Opposition at that point it was only with the intent of having to be obstreporous in order to make this better understood. It was hardly an exaggeration to say that I was as poor as anyone of my age in Town at that point owning little more than I could carry and it was a bit fatuous of him to have plied me with stories about the woes of local minorities in his Ward as among other things I was in obvious immediate need of at least some minor facial surgery and dental reconstruction.

Some fictious and/or absurdly overoptimistic version of this may have gotten back to my recently deceased neighbour at that time if he was arguably among those who had at least some sense of this suggested influence or interest from above. I suppose in the weeks since his death that I increasingly get the sense that not only did he know me arguably better than I know myself, but that as a respected local War Veteran he had arguably as much as orchestrated my Mother's Union with another local man in '74 it being the case as I have mentioned that they are quite likely to be related as members of families with generations of history in the Borough. This is quite a poignant thought for me as it is many years since I have even thought about trying to recall the sensory impressions attendant upon my recollections of the circumstances of the fact of my parents seperation as it was shown to my five yr old self. It has indeed been a long time since I've found anything like sharp accurate memories of what went on. The particular recollection of having been allowed out onto the streets of a Northern Town for the first time after being whisked away from Ipswich returns with a shudder of revulsion: it was very much a coarse working class ghetto where the children amused themselves by throwing stones at streetlamps.

If such a suggestion contained a significant element of truth it might reasonably be said to account for some recent misunderstandings as well as arguably substantiating the hypothesis that I or at least certain of my forebears have been associated with ceratin extraordinary people and events in recent history.

Everyone in this country is of course to some extent associated with its Royal Family and much else about it whether they like it or not.

04 03 15

My entries for today will have to consist of a few unrefined note statements.

Generally speaking it may come as something of a mild relief to some of those who have tried picking out what is worthwhile from my Log here, and of course it was something my elderly neighbour had in hand after a manner of thinking so to speak, that I had after much rumination gotten more or less to the point of turning aside from the sort of stuff that has been cropping up on a daily, weekly sort of basis and of attending to the necessity of a serious reorganisation of this Weblog column it being the case for instance very saliently that it did come to mind that many matters which have cropped up into it can now be cut and filed into lesser linked sort of pidgeonhole documents, some in the national and local sections as I first envisaged, it being for example very much the case that a lot of material of local or general significance can be stripped from this central document, which needs to be more of a coherent reference to its main legalistic purposes.

It may be advisable, since it might appear much of relevance at a local level has just been said, to insert a brief link here to a separate document for the rest of what there is to say about the decease of this locally notable name. As far as I recall it I had recently made one or two irritated remarks about the necessity of having to engage in heated or heavy arguments about other nearby matters, that were not conducive to obvious remarks and conversation about the Gentleman who was the most vulnerable looking resident in the Road. It seems a more obvious remark than most that he'd have probably been better off it hadn't been the season for political footballing.

I think we both agreed that the latest round of security and anti terror legislation gives too much away and that the demurs expressed by the Opposition were disappointing in that firstly as has been said elsewhere if One believes in the concept of a Just War one has to accept the concept of a Just Terror and Just Terrorists. The manner in which this has been completely overlooked since Tony Blair took all the easy foreign policy options he could in failing to present any alternative to US stratagems in the middle east and George Bush's desire to play Godfather to the Marsh Arabs is as sinister as the failure of the Labour Party to be honest with their own traditional supporters about changing values in a two party rigmarole which as we see in Scotland is clearly interpreted as an ongoing exploitation of the poorer elements of our society rather than as some altruistic desire to represent them. It may well be the case that that the phenomena of Islamic Terrorism justifies new measures to a significant extent but it is a rather sinister idea that in the future anyone deemed to be a Terrorist or an Extremist can be subjected to all kinds of censure on the basis of little more than the whim of a junior Home Office functionary. After all consider how many of history's great names have been called Terrorists and Extremists in their own lifetime; Nelson Mandela is perhaps the most famous of recent examples and in his final years almost all the World's Conservative and Reactionary Leaders stood in awe of his name as a Diplomat, a Politician and a Peacemaker.

Fact is that to someone like me who has spent thirty years trying to find the most basic legal advice or representation without success the debate seems pointless because the Law will be made up by the Ministry of Justice and their Lawyer friends as they go along: well that is to say my experience is that it always has.

It seems relevant to some of what I have had to say that the Mail on Sunday has been blocked by the Cabinet Office from publishing correspondence relating to establishment cover ups of Paedophile activity at Westminster: the Information Commissioner’s Office ruled last month that the Cabinet Office had broken the law by failing to respond to the original request.

It might seem interestingly coincedental that some female German Historian has been trying to make a fuss about the allegation that whilst rapes and atrocities committed by Soviet Troops in the defeat of Wartime Germany are often acknowledged that there has been something of a neglectful laundry job done on the behaviour of other allied troops.

What I want to know is what does the relevance of the observation happen to be? No-one is going to do anything about it are they? I can't help wondering what direction official and semi official conjecture is going to turn. I'm afraid the Home Secretary's metaphoric language about abuse running through british society like the lettering in a stick of Blackpool rock doesn't quite strike the right sort of chord. If it is to be admitted that society has always swept under the carpet or ignored a certain amount of institutional abuse then all well and good but I'm afraid trite metaphoric language isn't appropriate. It may come as some consolation to many of those embroiled in this inescapable scandal in une respect or another to note my particular observation that not only is managing this issue certainly among the most difficult issues that law or government can seek to deal with if not the most difficult, that it will almost certainly always be so. Many issues even those of a predominantly social nature can and have been solved as new science and technology accompany the brutal untamed sort of progress that has characterised the last hundred years in Europe but one thing that no amount of scientific knowledge can cure is perhaps most arguably the danger we present to ourselves in preconceiving specious psychological considerations when considering the legal framework of personal relationships and the values that govern them in our society. I feel that given the unpredentedly shifting ground presented by the technical advances of the last quarter century what is needed is some sort of sober nuts and bolts examination of the historical and political context and a calm analytical approach to the question of how the legislature seeks to govern and manage the fundamental questions about what it should be doing for people and why in terms of addressing societal dysfunction and inequality. To put it in short the question seems to be what exactly are we doing here? This might seem to accompany questions that Conservatives are often uneasy to explore given that the notion of Governmental altruism runs counter to much of the fundamental basis of what there is in the way of Conservative ideology in the English speaking world and the arguably widespread observation that we can't instutionalise what should happen in a healthy wholesome society as easily as post war welfare planners first thought.

Not all of the effort I have poured into my legal campaign over the years have been entirely wasted it seems!

Among the incidents that I have pointed to as symptomatic of the sort of corruption I have been continually faced with since it seems before I had even learned to walk and talk is a Murder or Killing in a Pub incident in the John Bull Public House in Northern Ipswich in '82 or '83 I can't quite recall off the top of my head as most of the information I have had about it comes from several acquaintances: like an awful lot of charismatic old Pubs in our crime blighted Town it became a Tescos a few years ago. Anyhow the point seems to be that the theory it related to corrupt and negligent behaviour on the part of Teachers and Politicians iro my personal case and situation, and that a deadly altercation ensued between two Skinheads in a Group largely associated with then contemporary right wing politics most of whom it seems in general terms, had found various fictional stories about me ensuing from an extremely dysfunctional family situation, appears with little question to be increasingly accepted by various local citizens, but more importantly by Officials and Public Servants.

So at least that represents some kind of 'result' as the Employees of the MoJ tend to put it.

25 03 15

For those of us who may not have had time to piece together the details from various entries to and documents on the site: there seems to be at least some local agreement that a (somehow) overblown story about a plausible romantic collection involving a young lady teacher at her first job in the late seventies arriving second and third hand among a group of neighbourhood skinheads at a local Pub signficantly composed of ambitious anglo germans led to the death of a youth when another youth or young man picked up a scaffold pole and whacked him with it. There was a lot of hopelessness and uncertainty about in the earlier eighties, my view is that it is certainly easy to imagine the fact of young and perhaps desirable prospective partners under such questionable and/or controversial circumstances as has been suggested heating up the peer group dynamics especially if characters with a particular interpretational interest in the story had added some party political dimension to certain relevant arguments.

Another interesting extrapolation of that particular grim and all too believable urban tale seems to dovetail well with the suggestion that said young teacher had assisted with the laundry job on my Father's name and that I hadn't failed to make appropriate and acceptable remarks about petty property crime; I just didn't make them as an accompaniment to my having anything but the deepest misgivings about any failure to terminate my Father's parental responsibilities in view of his disturbing and nervously disordered behaviour. I don't seek to minimise the limitations of either of my parents insofar as my existence proved problematic and without pointing to specific instances it is easy to say with hindsight that as far as my own limited choices and directions were concerned what evidence there is tends to support the theory that she had failed to communicate accurately or effectively on my behalf and the presumption that I was understanding of my Father's liberal aspirations along with a far too optimistic description of my own Psyche seems to originate quite clearly thence.

For example there was a bloke called Pip Wood whose floor I bunked on for a few months in later '81 whose fortunes took a nose dive in following years. I get the sense that his broader family tend to say that he had been prompted to go too forcibly after the females of my age group who were trying to help me with difficulties that shouldn't really have been understated, and had been unlucky with legal and financial matters as a consequence of this perception. I've prolly mentioned it already somewhere but it tends to support the assertion that something unusual was going on in respect of stories that were floating around about me that he was supposed to be an unattached male of generally or reasonably good reputation and that it was not until some twenty years or more after meeting him that he confessed he was a Father and had been when seeking to take, some interest in females of my own age and acquaintance at the start of the eighties.

It seems worth reiterating that in many respects I am an unusually classless person.

Whilst this can perhaps reasonably be said to ensue from having an immigrant in the paternal line within the last couple of hundred years the point is really to say that as a consequence of unusually belonging the poorest and brightest categories of seventeen yr olds the acquaintances I made in teenage years particularly were of all sorts. Whilst like most individuals I suppose I tend to interact more easily and happily with persons of a similar background and personality I had made an unusually large and varied number of acquaintances at that point in my life. It seems worth observing that whilst probably many of the females of my generation like Shula Sheen and Amelia Whelping were what is often termed disadvantaged even vulnerable, a significant number had opposite qualities and a certain amount of evidence tends to point toward Mr Wood having been jinxed by a well connected female who clearly didn't like his attitude: but as I say it remains to be seem what might be made of the contention that he had bought a fictional account of my existence originating from Copleston School, added too large a measure of wishful thinking and didn't realise or only half realised that he was the subject of of complaints about intrusive behaviour when his inheritance disappeared with a lost legal battle over insurance on a boat he'd invested in which was mysteriously sunk in the local Docks.

It is easy to imagine such a palpable complaint about him obviously originating from respectable sources becoming a decisive factor in such a legal wrangle given the widespread reactionary knee jerking which widely accompanied the realisation from about early in '83 that it would be at least a decade before the Tory Government would fall.

08 04 15

If I seem a little reticent about the forthcoming monstrous charade of an Election it is because I have repeatedly pointed out many times that the legal guarantees which theoretically endow my voting slip with value and meaning are are entirely, absolutely non existent: I find it thoroughly worthless and pauperising. Anything that consensus might achieve from the individuals's point of view will be trashed, thrown out or otherwise disallowed by well rewarded Lawyers behind closed doors; as far as I can work out if they haven't already been character assassinated by the selective record keeping of unconscionably obsequious sycophants such as populate our rural constabulary's workforce the politically incorrect will thus be weeded out from any worthwhile legal status or rights. I don't say it is true of every Constituency but I feel that there are very serious legal question marks about both the main parties' representatives and that the politics of the Borough are particularly rotten and particularly corrupt. 21 05 15

     

     

05 05 15

I have been saying for quite some time that innovative IT will painfully expose the inadequacy of the so called Democracy and the rhetorical deceptions that voters have had little choice but to accept since the introduction of universal adult suffrage and the secret ballot. There have been quite a few glaring bloopers coming from various quarters and it seems fair to rationalise that this constitutes some belated admission of the weaknesses of a first past the post voting system as far as the Tories are concerned. In respect of some of the Home Secretary's all too arguably lackadaisical comments about the nature of British Society in the light of ongoing paedophile and childcare scandals One supposes its better to appear foolish than cynical or complacent. With particular reference to Mr Cameron's comments about Britain being a Christian nation I really don't care to speculate offhand on how this might resonate wuth the Tory faithful, but aside from the fact that ideologies labelled as religious and fundamentalist have been expensively and notoriously wreaking unpredictable carnage in the middle east very recently and of course the fact this has to be taken seriously, the statistical fact of the matter is actually that there were more practising Muslims than Protestants or Catholics in this humble nation of hardly seventy million inhabitants twenty years ago and as far s I know it is considered certainly considered a fact by social scientists that there are more practising Muslims than Christians in Britain today.

Britain is in fact quite likely the most Atheist Country in the World.

Whatever else happens in this week's Election I can't help feel as no doubt do most, that arguments for some change of direction seems to be argued more convincingly than in recently memorable elections most notably by the Greens and UKIP. Whilst the Coalition may have made for an interesting change from familiar party politics the fact is that Cameron's regime was greeted by riots in England, followed by failure in the Middle East leading eventually to humiliation in Scotland. Claims made about the economy may be debatable in various ways but it is a rather eerie and disturbing spectacle for a Government to be mired in a situation whereby it apparently has to rely on increasing numbers of foreign workers arriving in contravention of its own flagship policy to fuel a recovery of limited scope and dimensions. Insofar as the Tories capitalised on the arrival of the financial crisis seven to eight years ago their claims to be responsibly dealing with it on behalf of the Nation in general looks suspicious when accompanied by rapidly increasing numbers of the super rich class with nothing but a negative visionary attitude towards anything other than pecuniary acquisitiveness: it seems quite clear that the rest of the political nation at large wants to engender some significant reinvestment and reassessment of targeted government interests.

It is absurd that in the 21st century despite all the progress of the last ten twenty forty years or more that a British Prime Minister should have absolutely nothing at all positive to say to the nation at large and that his conversation should consist of a litany of cant's don'ts won'ts and aren'ts when they aren't specifically about welfare claimants being to blame for debt or the unconditional refusal of any serious constructive interest at all in public services and an evolving concept of co-operative action. Of course Mr Cameron isn't to blame for the ongoing fact of history in which we all see "as but through a glass darkly," but there are going to be no great prizes for getting things right five or ten years after leaving Office. Turbulence in the Middle East could be merely foreshadowing the chaos that is to come if someone doesn't acknowledge and get to grips with the climate change issue. After the long ennui of New Labour much of the sentiment of the public is exhibiting severe irritation with the failure of domestic leadership to be clearly seen to be effective in dealing with the social problems of the 21st century. Given these facts the Press has probably been quite kind to Cameron overall not least in view of the general observation that the Administration's only plausible success has been accompanied by little but shoulder shrugging in the face of the beckoning regional issues and contemporary social problems that are going to accompany its fiscal policy and lack of ideological direction. A couple or even a few million mickey mouse jobs does not make for anything like a genuine evolved economic recovery and there is something distinctly unwholesome about the way that the public has succumbed to stories about a logical tendency to spend a higher proportion of income on housing as somehow unworthy and introducing welfare stipulations that would have shamed many public figures in the thirties. Deporting tens of thousands of Londoners to make way for Property Developers in the Capital whilst other parts of the Country endure the stagnation consequent of the lack of coherent vision and political strategy bodes ill for the future.

I certainly agree very strongly with the observation this is very arguably the most interesting and unpredictable Election I can recall.

Whilst the Polls aren't predicting any big change except the loss of most Libdem Seats never before has a Victory for either right or left seemed so plausible, in that amidst continually deepening mistrust of Politicians generally One could easily envision large numbers of floating voters going either for or against David Cameron's economic vision in a decisive manner and the situation in Scotland unquestionably makes this unfamiliar territory. It is very much to be hoped generally that the energy the Scots have been pouring into their politics of late will develop a constructive impetus as for all the bluster of the two major party leaders the signs are that they appear likely to be in a position to demand a very different future for the UK and for the British Isles than Mr Cameron's moribund hedgerow supporters have yet imagined. Insofar as the only leader presently commanding any acclaim is "the wee lassie in a tin helmet" from north of the border Mr Cameron's uninspiring vision of the impossibility of anything but problems ahead and a general inability to do anything at all but spin scare stories about the state of the nation to fuel an all too predictable and all too arguably unwholesome social recidivism accompanied by tax breaks for high earners may well end up with a contemptuous drubbing in terms of some obvious alternative and more challenging vision being instanced by the ebullient condition of the minor parties, and it being very plausibly the case we could see Labour forced to abandon any prospect of Government except under a highly ambitious long term reinvestment and restructuring of the whole character of our endeavouring society such as has not been contemplated by the Labour Leadership in fifty years. Whilst details might seem vague in terms of the way policy was formulated fifty years ago the distrust of Politicians and a series of spectacularly broken promises may cause many to feel they have little to lose and fall into line for the notion of an ambitious general modernisation as the Scots leader Ms Salamander is forcefully suggesting as an alternative to dismal tales of austerity and a constitutional crisis perhaps goaded on by a handful of 'extremist' green cheerleaders in a House of Commons with a very different radical directive.

It would be refreshing indeed to see something genuinely positive and hopeful actually threatening to emerge from a political establishment much derided in recent times especially since fruitless bickering acrimony over Europe has become so prevalent, and it is especially interesting that this might arrive unheralded as the consequence of the Scots Independence vote from the further reaches of the nation than it is something predictably arising at the centre where ongoing devolvement has been taking place for at least twenty years whilst evidence of anything like real political will has been all too conspicuous by its absence.

It seems appropriate to suggest however that we should not get carried away with egotistical flights of fancy when sights like these are the real testament to humanity's pride & achievement in recent times.

     

09 05 15

Apologies if I haven't been particularly with it just lately but I have been rather taken aback by the manner in which this elderly neighbour has passed away. I had first thought I had seen a fairly healthy looking bloke of approximately in his late seventies and I had only just realised that he was significantly older and quite unwell looking when he was taken away in the Ambulance for the last time. I had first thought when I heard that he'd taken the death of his wife very badly that it had been some time since but I now gather this was some short while after I moved in across the Road. If someone has been feeding him and other sometime Labour Associates inaccurate gossip about me then he she or they could end up in severe trouble: it seems likely that he may have been taken in by what he had heard and that this may have played a role in their swift decline.

If anyone ever doubted that Britain is a highly corrupt Oligarchy and that the rhetoric about living in a Democracy is so much humungous twaddle and the low turnout always a feature of GE's because of this skepticism we only have to point at the enormous contemporary discussions about referendums as well as elections. This is especially glaring in view of the fact that Cameron's features betray much misgiving about the fact that far from the Conservatives enjoying a Victory as a chorus of right wing media have proclaimed, or anything like a mandate the glibly gloating Chancellor has asserted, if anything the votes cast show a nation clearly divided down the centre with a small numerical majority clearly against the Tories vision for the future. If we examine a few figures illustrating roughly the nations right left ideological divide, even if we count UKIP voters as certain allies of the Tories when they're probably only about half of them likely to vote Tory at most what we get is a nation very evenly divided down the middle in which it can quite easily be argued that either has a better total of votes and certainly not one endorsing any kind of Conservative mandate for aggresssive social and financial regression.

11 300 303     Tories          9 344 328   Labour
 3 881 129      UKIP           2 415 888   LibDems
   184,260       DUP            1 454 436  Scots Nationalists
                                1 154 562  Greens makes
                                 181 694   Plaid Cymru

15 365 692                      14 550 908
                               

Ignoring Sinn Fein who don't take part two other Northern Irish parties with about 100,000 votes each and 349,487 various others.

The rise of the SNP and UKIP always made this Election difficult to predict in conventional terms and if anything has won the majority of Seats for the Tories it is their promise of a Referendum on Europe which will surely satisfy the UKIP vote and without which Labour would probably be in Government. Red Ed Moribund was always a bit too blase about assuming that Labour would capture votes and seats as the result of significant dissatisfaction with the Tories but perhaps more significantly that its vote would hold up whilst its official support for full EU membership remained unquestioned. It would seem many floating voters have succumbed to unease with what has also been happening north of the border where no-one seems prepared to offer some meaningful interpretation of events: in that the Scots have voted against Independence but decimated any other Representives but Independence minded Nationalists at Westminster in an entirely unparalleled manner.

The media are talking expectantly about a recovery for Scottish Labour and I can't see the dust settling quite so congenially on matters from the viewpoint of burgeoning numbers of wealthy southern English in financial and political terms when so much evidence of political vision and strategy commanding any real consensus is all too absent from the daily news. Too many people are talking about the need for voting reform and those who've prospered under the sort of pseudo democracy which has superficially governed us will I think find it more difficult than that to establish constitutional stability: with or without the English the Scots I think the Scots want PR perhaps more than Independence from the Union. Too many are clearly effectively disenfranchised by the first past the post system and Eurosceptic Labour Voters are perhaps the most significant of voter interest groups having no representation. Time and time again in far too many Constituencies we see a majority of voters completely overuled in favour of the establishment party.

In principle this isn't an entirely different sort of question to that represented by the question of involvement in Europe once it is accepted that Democracy is a theory which has and has had many elaborate forms none of which can be viewed as correct in any black and white sense. Apart from anything else than can be said about UKIP it is absurd that any Party coming third with 12.5% of the vote should get no more than the least possible single Representative in the Legislature itself where nearly four million UKIP voters will be represented by a solitary MP facing several dozen Scots MPs representing less than one and a half.

The question of how anything like a genuinely democratic system involving representation in the Legislature is certainly a very big challenge for our times but at least the availability of resources for analysing the question can no longer said to represent any difficulty. If we don't really have faith in our democracy it's unlikely to impress foreign Governments with its acumen or thereby meaningfully address the climate issue.

The one significant Labour gov't we've had since the War under Blair far too clearly agreed to do what the Tories wanted before it was allowed in so the fact that abstentions are a clear majority across the country becomes more understandable. Nick Clegg's Alternative Vote on Referendum was too easily brushed off by a stabilist media that did not foresee a Constitutional crisis evolving from such a generalised concept as dissatisfaction with first past the post voting and its impact on Scottish Labour. The Referendum question was too immediate and dramatic when the desirability of various such improvements as an alternative vote system could and should have been acknowledged and better discussed prior to the Referendum itself being perhaps held in 2014 when a more appropriate discussion could have taken place; people could have gotten used to the idea of it being something like a second round runoff on the same voting slip as the next General Election loomed and they were reminded of all their prior dissatisfactions with various anomalies.

13 05 15

It reaches my ears that the local English Teacher Bob Dumper has died!

What now seems to be of the remark that when he feigned to take a positive interest in my career prospects in the early eighties that he was rather seeking to derail negative gossip about the royal family, it being the case now, that the last decade's reflections clearly point to both my natural parents, numbers of their near relatives and others including local people with sensitive reputations having worked overtime to derail negative gossip about their involvement with criminal sex and drug scandals during my infancy, or at around the same time that Princess Margaret was effectively barred from London Society, concerning which all I know is that rumour has it this was at the Queen's instigation: I am very good on current affairs but this was a bit before my time.

The link or common denominator between these facts is/was clearly the Kray Twins!

What is of the remark that the kind of criticism he was helping them try to evade must have been more justified than people find it easy or expedient to say. One of the main things I'd like to chase up immediately is the allegation that his contemporary Dr BEB Williams who I believe is still just about alive, laundered mention of the most crippling family problems including instances of violence with attempts to procure under aged sex for the same general motive and that they had both ignored almost everything I'd said or tried to say. Much as I'd like to extrapolate on the interesting contemporary political situation I have local and personal situations which arwe going to have to be resolved. A disruptive tenant in the flat below has created enormous antisocial problems over the last three years, it could easily be said hampering one or two minor community initiatives quite seriously in the process.

I do think the Home Secretary is a bit off the mark in her remarks about hitting Crime Gangs with respect to the question of events in the Mediterranean, Migration and Asylum issues. Whilst this is probably tactically quite correct I do significantly believe we are if perhaps not also misunderstanding the underlying problem, that we are reacting inappropriately to the problem of unregistered persons making entry into Europe and the UK for whatever reason.

There is no real substitute for stability abroad!

Much as it might not seem in line with acceptably politically correct liberal ideology, by conceding asylum regularly and ignoring the convenient fact of lots of available cheap labour from illegal entrants we are arguably not helping the fundamental causes of large scale migration ensuing from political incompetence, repression and instability which cause people without safe homes and employment to take to the road. There are simply too many refugees and individuals undoubtedly having a reasonably good argument they are simply not safe in their nation of origin for the problem to be seriously addressed by taking them in. This might seem cold hearted but in the first instance what happens next is that Tyrants, Charlatans and Gunmen, to say nothing of Human Traffickers, find it more convenient to repeat the repression and incompetence first causing the Migration and after that has happened more and more indigents are prompted to flee instead of confronting political problems. What you've got then is another expensive problem in addition to the fact of Migrants first appearing which is looking after refugees and getting used to a society where several percent of the workforce are illegal aliens. What is of the remark that European nations cannot cope with millions and millions of refugees appearing from Africa and Asia in increasing numbers and that we are only worsening the underlying political problems by granting asylum to those first appearing with tales of dysfunctional political leadership by creating the illusion that large and larger scale Migration is a problem we can cope with when we cannot and that feigning to help displaced and oppressed abroad we are all too often creating false hope for these people.

In considering the possible and plausible direction the Conservative Government might take and in diagnosing social problems on a large scale it seems an interesting juxtaposition of ideas that problem of domestically fostering a healthy society is that too many himes are built for cars not; one only has to verify the extent to which 19th century redbrick housing which wasn't, has retained the look and feel of a genuine community when so many housing Estates are little more than oversized parking lots for highly compartmentalised consumers without wholesome or naturally occurring society. it is to be hoped the PM is going to take on board the moral of the story about far sighted & long term planning from the point of view of society's future needs rather than plastering commercially motivated Skyscrapers all over London and ploughing up the green belt instead of thinking more carefully about what there is in the way of general resources: I also think the Election did expose some agreement that Landlords ought to be restrained from taking easy pickings from impoverished foreign workers and that all Britons deserve a share in the South's housing boom not merely those who've prospered by hook or by crook in recent history and can afford to think of buying a home or investing in Property.

14 05 15

False hope is no hope at all but there may be some real scope for worthwhile progress in the arguably badly managed Election which has just taken place insofar as the result was significantly unusual and unexpected as it does lie within the legal capacity of the PM to put a more moderate and appropriate interpretation on what has been said to him by the electorate: I'm afraid however that he's put his leading foot in it before his heel has even lifted off the starting line.

This is from Today's Daily Mail in badly punctuated American English, which I've corrected as fit for a UK Newspaper.

"We must end the idea that as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone," says Cameron in hardline terror crackdown claims "Britain's passively tolerant society," has helped to foster "extremism and grievance."

Now this makes an enormous change as Mr Cameron is usually berating those who don't obey the law. Much as they do say 'A change is as good as a feast,' and the novelty of finding Mr Cameron castigating law abiding citizens in the role of champion of the oppressed and historically disadvantaged is quite refreshing, I really think someone ought to tell him that it's illegal to propose the harassment of law abiding citizens and that if such utterances aren't illegal now which I'm fairly sure they are, they certainly will be by the time his latest vague crusade against extremism becomes enshrined in some new law. If the PM has not renounced such words by the time laws outlawing 'Extremists' from making such threats come into force perhaps we could have some assurance that a privileged background will not be seen to confer immunity from the Law and that the PM will be prosecuted for making such threats against citizens and terrorising the law abiding.

Lackadaisical drivel Mr Cameron .........

Tony Blair isn't in any better form: this week he has been raving on about how Ed Moribund should have moved to occupy the centre ground if he wanted to win the Election and the fact he can hardly remember what Party he's supposed to support only underlines how much corruption and double dealing there is at the top of society and at Westminster. As most O level history candidates could tell you the Labour Party was created to represent working men in working class districts. Blair's comments predicate that the purpose of the Labour Party is to elect Labour Politicians, which is an entirely different matter and the basic fact is that representing 'the Workers' as naive post war middle class ideologues are fond of putting it, can just as easily mean losing an Election as it does winning one. If Politicians claim to be representative this should in fact be the case, propounding that the Labour Movement should say whatever it takes to get elected is an entirely opposite act to the fact of purportedly representing the views of others: in this case the remnants of the traditional working class, the low paid and the disadvantaged.

15 05 15

The most significant failing of the Tories is that they are visibly at least as or more interested in the notion of tacitly legitimising the introduction of a class of super wealthy citizen than they are in making the nation solvent on behalf of all citizens as they profess. The argument which was superficially accepted by Blair was that previous Labour Governments had been too obsessed with taxing the successful and hindering economic progress, this debate is what really needed to be addressed correctly instead of meekly accepted and if it had been addressed correctly we wouldn't be talking about the break up of the nation.

Does it seem appropriate to recall that there were hardly any Computers and no Internet When New Labour was being promoted as Democracy's extension of Thatcherism?

The Opposition to this Tory Government is divided by so much ill considered speculation about the constitutional future of the four nations of the British Isles which is quite pointless considering the fact of contemporary Referenda. This Opposition may be numerically superior but its ideological vision is as incoherent as the Tories shabby confession they cannot manage anything but an arguably short sighted surrender to greed and acquisitiveness: One Nation Toryism should mean something more than an explicitly clumsy desire to legitimise exploitation of other people in it. Labour would still have perennial problems with its image as a serious party of Government even if contemporary constitutional and continental issues were not so presently predominant. I want to see our so called multiculturalism properly defined and it shouldn't be too much to ask of people who throw the term around so casually: all too often those who preach tolerance and pluralism are arguably trying to offload company of lesser obvious quality on others and stir up unreasonable discontent about problems they don't really have solutions for or problems that really don't exist at all.

26 05 15

I'm going to try and summarise a few things about the immediate situation I find myself in.

Firstly what is of the remark that a nuisance tenant in the Flat downstairs in the building in which I live has made a severe deleterious impact on matters both personal and local in the three years or so since he moved in. I think it clear that he has vandalised and stolen quite a number of garden accoutrements besides generally souring the atmosphere with assiduously cultivated hostility. Before he moved I hadn't noted more than the occasional attack by vandals in the neighbouhood but the last winter has seen an astonishing number of such attacks on cars hanging baskets and flowerpots. He was supposed to have moved about 12 months ago has only been staying with a girlfriend somewhere locally. When he does return I am ineveitably finding things missing or broken afterwards and obviously given all my other troubles my work rate has slowed to almost nothing as I can hardly repair things before they get broken such has been the regularity and enormity of these staged attacks. He hasn't literally been filmed or witnessed in the act but one new neighbour did seem to notice that it was unquestionably a fact that no-one else was anywhere near the building when a hanging basket was ripped off the wall next the front door with the contents disgorged over some very expensive motorcycle coachwork one sunny afternoon last year.

He is a Londoner and broadly speaking he made the mistake of trying to attach himself to the phoney beatlemania floating about locally which is roughly labelled New Labour Ipswich Borough Council which I had tried to warn him about and which he seemed to have mistook for some kind of patronising twaddle or other becoming by degrees hostile and threatening. The fact is I have been substantiating what I said about these local authorities and it is an absurdity fraught with hazard that I should ever have been asked to put up with it or that he should remain here if he feels unable to refrain from such instances of dysfunctional criinal behaviour as he has already evidenced. He made no bones about wanting to escape the company of non ethnic citizens in the Capital and may have attempted some kind of professionally contrived attempt at saying I was being racist because I might seem to have something other in mind for company than for example that which is immediately congenial to local Councillors who deserve the headaches they get for spinning over optimistic stories. What is very much of the remark that being a non ethnic citizen doesn't mean that he gets a higher threshhold for legal behaviour than someone who isn't; no individual can expect to make negative comments about any sort of society they don't like and then expect to find someone else guilty of saying or thinking the same thing on some pretext involving the question of race.

Property vandalised again at time of writing at above date and requisite reports made

As far as relevant news is concerned it so happens to be the case that around the time that a recent civil service report bemoaned the shortage of good enough ethnic minority candidates for senior positions while they were trying to fill quotas, as it left them having to pick people who in simple terms, are inferior candidates; this makes for an interesting juxtaposition with remarks made by some of the Black Players associated with the local football club recently. Kieron Dyer and one of the Bramble brothers were making comment about the lack of black people in trainig and managerial positions in the football leagues and very intelligently suggested this was because various non ethnic communities including the Caribbean have only existed for about forty odd years and were tending to agree with the statement that this was the reason that non ethnic citizens do not as yet occupy managerial or senior staff positions on a statistically equivalent basis rather than because of prejudice or discrimination. Doubtless many besides myself will find this sensible enough perspective a refreshing change from much of the twaddle we often hear on the subject of race relations though it's difficult to hazard what might lie behind it.

Property Developers Exploiting Planning Authorities and Ruining our Cities: The Guardian's Oliver Wainwright 28 01 15

07 06 15

The pathetic eight year sentence for the Aunt of Shanay Walker convicted of killing her seven yr old niece shows just how perverse life in the UK has become. Where's the deterrent in this I ask you? The woman beat a helpless seven yr old to death and the actual sentence is likely to add up to no more than three or four summers in a cushy jail with plenty of amenities. Why doesn't the Judge just apologise for inconveniencing the Perpetrator and have done with it.

17 06 15

As far as engagement with politics is concerned I would remind those readers perhaps concerned with some of the specific issues I have raised that in 2010 following an incident in a local Public House, two LibDem Councillors I had approached for some support disappeared right into thin air. Their Labour replacements and at least three other Labour Councillors have similarly contemptuously ignored all my representations as of the above date: so what's the point in having Representatives I ask you?

I have to portray Councillor Mowles as the bad apple in the barrel!

Even if it is accepted that he had been fed a fictitious story by someone who'd been fed a fictitious story by an erstwhile neighbour who'd been blackmailedwhich is highly questionable to say the least, it is almost literally impossible to believe that he didn't take advantage of what he'd learned for selfish and party political reasons, contemptuously ignoring my severe distress and absolute poverty because (it must have been seen to be the case) that it was mostly Tory voters and aficionados that were discomfited by what my Mother's family were seen to know and the evidence tends also to suggest that he sought to cover up the matter in at least tacitly implying that I was party to criminal behaviour and blackmail when subsequently deflecting inquiry.

It has crossed my mind that Churchwarden Bonney could still be alive and that I might have been fed a duplicitous story as something of a ruse. I can after all very easily imagine that such a venerable and vulnerable Arch Conservative might not want to be located second hand by the audience of downtown indigents being sold various stories about the value of engagement in local politics. Since it has also occurred with news of his death that he and my Father were likely to have known each other in younger days, it also occurs that it is therefore a fairly reasonable suspicion that the triple murderer Jason Mitchell may have been partly remotely motivated by some desire to knobble salient Tories on the part of Leftist Councillors who had smelt a useful scandal or two; this in respect of the fact that when he freaked out over all the thoughts and messages circulating in the isolated urban sprawl that is Ipswich, his killing spree was as I recall it presaged by an attack on another local Churchwarden.

It certainly is an interesting notion that he and my Father were perhaps friendly sorts of protagonists in the mini society of the Town in its post war period since they were opposed in appearance and politics my Father being diminutive and blond and Mr Bonney being very tall and dark rather like the late Sir Christopher Lee though in this latter's case as one wit has put it, death will represent no career setback. For me perhaps the central enigma of my own Father's behaviour generally was as I have sought to express, an uncanny aptitude for managing to evade the most serious sort of negative criticism. As an Adult myself, in terms of what very, very little his family had related about him I had been told in very vague and obtuse terms over many years that his behaviour was justified by his own Father's failings. After many long years I do have at least some very vague notion as to the reasoning in this but must assert that none of his kin except his sister would have anything to do with him beyond an odd couple opf visits to an Aunt or Cousin of theirs each decade. So however much of a poetic victim they may like to have portrayed him none of them actually had any experience of him as a parent and most hadn't seen him at all since some years before my own birth. It is additionally the case that the only contemporaries of mine who would even contemplate a postive portrayal of him in this role were down and outs from the most unfortunate deprived households and communities who had no experience of having any kind of Father and would obviously have been willing to try almost anyone who wasn't an immediately threatening lunatic of some sort or other.

Seeking to relate an interesting general narrative about how my endeavours are proceeding has during the last twenty years been motivated by the general assumption that using IT and Computers in such a manner is going to help me but it also occurs that this isn't necessarily the case. Of course I don't want to tell people what to think but it does also recently present itself to consideration that even the best presentation that's intended to demonstrate the guilt of others in canniving at a negative official misunderstanding of myself, can then in turn be used to some extent by them, to render such truths less obvious or verifiable than they were. So today I'll stop talking about doing some work and try and just do it and I'll leave you with a few more recent news picks.

Tom Parfitt of the Daily Express 19 05 15 on the questionable quality of foreign nurses in the NHS

I must admit that besides the general point the author makes about inefficiency in our service that I personally feel we often neglect some argument that it is specious woolly thinking to imagine that individuals as indigent as many are can at all be capable of giving in any genuine sense.

On the Veniality of GPs: Rebecca Perring of The Daily Express 20 05 15

Telegraph - 01 06 15 Gregory Walton, Laura Donnelly and Edward Malnick on Health Scams

Some of the cases are so egregious that even the Tory Health Secretary has spoken out against the financial parasitism to which our so called National Health Service is subjected.

Article on Defence by Lewis Page of Daily Telegraph 01 06 15

The Author depicts our defence establishment as a cumbersome out of date Dinosaur scarcely fit for purpose.

18 06 15

For today's entry I am going to try to draw together a few threads relating to matters small and large in terms of the issues that have raised themselves within this last year.

It seems appropriate to elaborate that I am not advocating an ideological interpretation of personal or historical events, certainly not in any conventionally recognisable form when I talk about historical and political possibilities. For instance the remark that the World might, be a better place today (at least for the living) if the Nazis had won the War is rather an attempt to show the potential for change that voters have today rather than an examination of right wing ideology: the same thing would be equally true of the Soviet Union or indeed of the British Empire/Commonwealth.

Having said that and looking at the parlous ideological conflicts being played out in the middle east and on the Russian border I am prompted to briefly mention that perhaps the most interesting allegation of all that One finds cropping up from time to time about these contemporary conflicts is the allegation that the momentum of left leaning ideologies and left leaning nations was halted in the mid sixties by a mini wave of targeted assasinations planned by the CIA. I can't personally vouch for the truth or falsity of such an assertion but I do hope to acquire fresh data on the subject fairly soon. It is less debatable that the huge Labour majority that disappeared between 1945 and the early 1950s was significantly due to some increasing awareness that Wartime Soviet allies had perpetrated an even larger genocide on their own people prior to the outbreak of WW2 than that which the Nazis undertook. Whilst this obviously detracts from the presentation of the Worker's Paradise as commanding some kind of moral majority it doesn't mean that Communism or Socialism couldn't or shouldn't have been a force which dominated the World in the best interests of most people.

Let's just say that this question needs to be examined as part and parcel of an ordinary and legitimate examination of what we call Democracy. The name of the first Prime Minister of the Congo Patrice Lumumba crops up now and then when this sort of discussion arises as it seems Belgian British and US Taxpayers financed his assassination early in 1961.

17 08 15

Just a couple of brief notes to support aspects of legal applications in hand.

Firstly is the suggestion that some almost unknown character has been posturing in the role of putative girlfriend or partner and that during the course of comparatively rapidly changing circumstances between the latter nineties and the earlier part of 2002, it had helped sell an erroneous perception of events at for instance the first time I had changed General Practitioner since 1976. The fact it has very recently become apparent that my Father's surviving Aunt has woven an elaborate web of deceit around the fact of my existence seems to be relevant here as does the remark that it is probably the case that several individuals had guessed my Father was husbanding a limited amount of money or about as much as he could without prejudicing his Pension Rights.

Without wishing to flatter myself unduly I daresay that since I remain at least superficially a Bachelor and have lived the vast majority of my existence in the same Borough, at any one time I daresay there are perhaps several female individuals thinking of seeking to inveigle themselves into the role of the apparent or presumed Partner. These however have always been largely known to me and their involvement in various fictionalised stories about me and the events of the Borough, increasingly self explanatory given the contemporary unravelling of relevant personal history.

This it is true I am quite keen to emphasise is with particular regard to the fact that my experiences do relate overhwelmingly to this marginal Borough and the concomitant fact that I have felt in personal psychological terms I have had no choice but to expose the stains of my personal laundry in order that they be properly diagnosed and the functioning of my memory correctly appraised.

What is very much of the remark that the theory some relatively unknown party had perhaps only half wittingly assisted my Father sow false impressions on various Officials involved in familial contretemps at around the turn of the Millennium and shortly thereafter can explain much of the apparent confusion more recently infecting Officials attempting to deal with my affairs. It might seem to go with the suggestion that my Father's Aunt had over the years unbeknownst to me, spun quite an elaborate web of deceit around the fact of my existence with the aim of laundering my Father's affairs and with too little thought for the consequences to this innocent party, and that since the matter tended to the embarrassment of Conservative political interests, local Labour Politicians had unconscionably played up to it. In looking at the case of a Widow with an obvious affinity to the local Labour Movement who was Partner to a Scot I had met in the earlier nineties, it is tempting to theorise that she undertook perhaps several significant ill considered actions on the basis of what had been related to her from these sources and that other erring Officials have since been too keen to mistake her for someone who was or is me in any justifiable sense.

Such a theory can easily account for many recent misunderstandings: irrespective of the truth or lack of truth in the suggestion it is certainly the case for instance that she mistook my hostility toward these Officials for hostility toward Mr Huxtall who unfortunately died at just the point I was offering him some assistance with the problems he described. When I first met him in 1993 much as it might surprise some, I hadn't asked him about his personal difficulties because I wanted to take the mickey but was down and out myself at the time & could do little or nothing for anyone. I was in the process of having it admitted that among other things I had been left almost completely unable to breathe through my nose since the events surrounding my having been the apparent victim of a murder attempt in '86 when among other things I sustained a smashed nose.

What is unmistakeably of the remark that the spotlight has recently been focused on the insights and negligent motivation of a longstanding GP throughout my existence at the turn of the Millennium.

The other salient observation I would wish to make is to the effect that according to the authorities at the then Suffolk College I entered the place after having been barred from it for writing threats and made an application for a course in 1993. Neither of these allegations has any basis in fact and I would have sued for damages within months if it were not also untrue that there is any means of acquiring legal advice and representation iro these matters. What seems clear is that if someone did make an Application in my name it certainly was not me, and it must be the case that whomever did must have been known to the relatively new staff who fictionalised the fact of my making threats: I did make one or two comments about bad behaviour in the place but that was all.

A lot has become clearer about the preceding circumstances since that time.

As far as my relations with the Education Department in Suffolk are concerned what seems to have taken place is that my Father's Aunt seems to have managed to remotely start some kind of patriotic furore as a means to launder critical interest in his parenting after our return to Suffolk in '76. Mr Powell/Heinkel our Head of Year may have been partly guilty of being less than reasonably objective about relevant issues for various reasons and it was the case I have maintained for many years that irrespective of whatever the particular reason was, Herr Powell did happen to be erring in his actions. As I saw it at the time it was paramount that my Father be loudly and publicly vilified for his parenting and that I at least deserved an honest resume of my own situation iro his clumsy and sinister marriage and grubby circumstances appertaining to his misbegotten attempt to manage my incipient personal relationship dynamics toward an economically convenient situation for himself.

I have pointed out many time since that in plain English this tends to be called Prostitution:the fact of these personal necessities being ignored despite enormously lengthy difficulties with the fact of my Father's marital problems and notable personal dysfunctionality was so egregious that insofar as a waify adolescent was able to confront a fifteen stone adult, the truth of our exchanges in my later days at Copleston was that I was at every opportunity publicly cursing him for a Liar in respect of his ignorance of my personal difficulties, insisting that my Father was a raving Schizoid Pervert and that any failure to acknowledge this and the fact his parentage had to be dismissed asap for his own benefit as much as anyone elses, was effectively a death sentence for any chance I might have had of a decent life and career.

It's the complete failure to be honest that rankles here and if I had been conceded what I should, some new Lady Biology Teacher might not have been conveyed or have conveyed entirely the wrong impression about speculation that in all honesty Prostitution was the only way I would be able to acquire the Education I was qualified for. Her plausible interest in such a statement seems to have many unfortunate repercussions. If it existed it should not have taken any other form beyond some kind of polite formal enquiry over the Summer of 1980. What is of the remark that she and other colleagues from that vile School are generally responsible for duping the sixth form authorities about my situation and that in years thereafter they framed an absurdly overoptimistic impression/portrayal of my situation for the College authorities. Many or most of the College Lecturers I ran across on a regular basis between late '81 and late '93 seem to have variously gathered this approximate perception of personal realities and had been basically too decent to complain about the fact I wasn't making anything of part time courses at least in terms of getting any more exam passes. The staff who turned up in about 1990 and subsequently fictionalised accusations I had some kind of violent antisocial disposition only saw a down and out vagrant in his late twenties that the establishment could happily do without.

The English Teacher Dumper seems to have understood what I knew nothing of at the time which appears to consist principally of the fact that my folks had been mixed up in the furore which saw the Krays caged for life and Princess Margaret dismissed from London Society in the later sixties and that the Windsors wanted a trouble free story about me. As I may already have partly mentioned he made almost every mistake he possibly could in feigning to act in my interests. I have to assume that my Father systematically deceived him as he did set out to portray me as an ordinary element of my Mother's family it being the case that whilst it would be many years before I would realise I had been effectively brainwashed of relevant recollections. Despite the fact I was profoundly suspicious of my Mother and her family and reacted with extreme distaste to the suggestion I could or should be linked in any friendly sense with them, he insisted on seeking to accomodate her now deceased older Sister's interest which would likely be consequent of the fact that she had learned embarrassing facts about the upper reaches of London Society whilst feigning friendly relations with my Father's family when I was an infant. I tend to assume now that he really didn't have an accurate enough picture of events to have helped me, was trying to ingratiate himself as the author of a resolving script and I never really considered being friendly about the fact he helped threaten me into working illegally even actively misleading social security staff.

Of course by the latter eighties I had in many respects simply given up on trying to elicit responsible and appropriate actions from authority in general and was preoccupied enough in dealing with the dystopian nightmare of my existence on a daily basis with little thought of the future except that surely something would turn up and make life tolerable again one day as it very briefly had in the earlier eighties: my only consoling thought was that someone would take notice of my complaints about legal advice sooner or later.

Whilst there are a lot of details I could add to this picture in general, I think the accusation I made an educational application in 1993 has had more bearing on subsequent events than an odd detail of an unfortunate existence noted by me at that time might have seemed to indicate: considering everything that had been overlooked before then in terms of interactions with public services it isn't quite so surprising. If the College Staff aren't lying about this Application's existence then they must know who actually made it and it has to fit in with some of these other details somehow.

Dumper was trying to go on at me about the value of a full time course in various respects and I didn't agree with any of the premises he made since for instance I felt I had been illegally refused the sixth form place I did want. Whilst I had little choice but to try with as brave a face as I could to make something of opportunities to study I had never had the slightest iota of genuine faith in my ability to cope with material and social deprivation that had been quite absolute since at least the age of five. Without something like a financial windfall, a caring and capable partner of some sort, or some other significant favourable change in circumstances, I was down, out and hopelessly misled without having even the remotest idea as to why I should be the subject of such elaborate deceptions. At the time I thought Doctor Williams negligent in the long term but did assume that he agreed with what I had related about my shock at the vile abusive behaviour of the Solicitor Anthony Smythe, and that I wasn't merely a victim of, circumstance, but an honest and blameless one.

Events in my view do make out that Doctor as particularly negligent: so much so that the sum of his attention is nothing else but a huge and disastrous fictionalisation that I would always have been considerably more fortunate and considerably healthier if I didn't have a GP at all. The sum of his actions on my behalf in 1990 amounted to once having cursed me for bothering him with the eruption of painful wisdom teeth. He clumsily and with considerable ill grace ordered their removal and I believe I have mentioned several times that the Surgeon Tate stripped out the one uncapped Molar I had despite repeatedly being instructed not to. I think the NHS is more of a propaganda trick for the naive and infirm than it is a functioning Institution. There is little of national character about the arrogant pidgin speaking charlatans populating it and speaking of the nation; if it does have a meaningful existence after the Lisbon treaty I can only see that it is a means for those who have profited from it to evade their responsibilities and failures.

He had failed to assist me in seeking to terminate my Father's parentage and made no formal note of the observations about the free dental medicine I had been subjected to; contemporary opinion concurs with my consistent longstanding view that the sum of this free medicine was a very significantly life tainting disability. Throughout the nineties and until various bodge jobs all fell out (I am still shedding the remains of thirty odd badly, cheaply and unnecessarily capped teeth from my childhood) I was nursing one bare nerve in particular from 1992-2012. It was the result of a bungled NHS operation which resulted in my being assaulted by a Policeman when I made written complaints according to procedure: in further attempts to follow the complaints protocol I have merely been ignored by at least several other Practitioners.

Subsequent Dentists who examined her work ignored its flaws as she directed them and this kind of treatment, has been variously justified by various officials with references to an entirely fictious personal history in which I am some kind of mean shiftless ingrate who's been looked after by a normative caring family, has chosen to live in the gutter as the result of personal iniquity and is unworthy of any sort of legal protection or status.

16 10 15

Today's hysterical Daily Mail Leader about Sexcrime by Jenni Murray is all too arguably a specious load of propagandistic drivel: I don't think for instance that her insistence we are seeing increasing numbers of prosecutions of those abusing formal and informal parental roles in society and that female offenders are being treated too leniently is borne out by the facts as we have them. I think the inference made in general to the effect that increasing numbers of people are perpetrating such crimes isn't really very likely to be an accurate summation of trends even if such a thing were reasonably or easily estimable from various persectives. This, is in itself a highly debatable proposition in that there could be various reasons for an increase in numbers of Sexcrime prosecutions besides increasing numbers of Sexcrimes. The fact is that apart from those with some sort of relevant insider career interest, only a tiny coterie of establishmentarian Cognoscenti such as high ranking civil servants, Ministers, Lawyers and perhaps a few Journalists are likely to be able to comment effectively on sparsely available statistics of highly questionable relevance.

It does so happen to be a fact that I have been contemplating a relevant remark but have been rather distracted by personal issues.

           

I don't know what kind of notice various parties may have taken of the high level muckraking going on in respect of social and sexual scandals at Westminster but the gist of it in my opinion is that the allegation(s) made to the effect that a coterie of influential Ministers and MPs have been running a child sex ring for at least several decades is perfectly true and not another Labour spawned scare story.

There are a lot of relevant unanswered questions that ought to be addressed but for me the allegations are as I say generally true, and chime far too accurately in tune with other sex scandal stories from the Underworld in the period in question, as well as with a sort of concurrent culture of underachievement in the House of Commons.

One tends to imagine that the Labour Movement's attempt to govern the actions of the Parliamentary Labour Party in the early eighties might reflect some limited awareness that MPs of all parties have been socialised into into ignoring evidence of such activity, have largely ignored it or even joined in as in the case of the Labour Peer Greville Janner. Part or perhaps most of the reason that this story didn't become a tabloid scandal in recent decades is because so many Labour reputations have opted for a profitable career and said nothing.

Without wishing to complicate matters it seems appropriate to say that my paternal Grandparents were Tory Supporters and that what is happening in this picture on the left from 1967 on the left shows my Grandparents perhaps more particularly my Grandmother trying to make accusations to the effect that the Leader of the then Tory Opposition has with the fairly active assistance of the Security Services recently seduced a male significantly below the age of consent (a schoolboy) and are obviously resentful of the fact they have recently been forced to acquiesce in the acquisition of a significant prison sentence by my Father for trying to do exactly that within the last decade.

Yep, it's a funny old world at times it really is.

The key observation seems to be that Heath was a noted Pianist and this seems to have been reflected in the finger posture. I have always found all the pictures taken of me to be perverse and disgusting and entirely demonstrative of the fact my natural parents were both the sex offender/ criminal of the scheming irresponsible sort if not of the more violent. It is tempting to theorise as to quite what this may have to do with the fact I have been demanding a version of a personal history which says I am not Prostitute since the time of my Father's third marriage in the late seventies. What is of the remark that the fictions compiled by Teachers, Social Services, and layers at that time and since, all tacitly state that to some degree I am.

My Mother and at least one of several Ex Stepbrothers did want to be Prostitutes. I have stuck to the remark that the School was firstly suspiciously dysfunctional in failing to unreservedly condemn my absurdly negligent Father and iniquitous in facilitating the deranged and misconceived actions that he did.

It was significantly as the result of reading the Mail online that in recent months I noted at least two cases of female child killers who had been given six or seven years sentences reported almost in tandem with at least two cases of statutary rape involving Women Teachers or Teaching Assistants who had been given, guess what, six or seven year sentences. This kind of appalling incongruity can only signify that there is something perverse and sinister about the way the nation's leaders have handled these issues. I don't think articles like the Mail's Leader on October 16th this year with its reaffirmation of conservative values is going to restore public confidence in the moral integrity of the governing classes. The kind of knee jerk response on the part of Senior Policemen and the thinking going on behind Operation Yewtree is demonstrative of a very corrupt society in which the powerful find polite justifications for indulging in behaviours and practices that make ordinary people the target of vigilantes. I think the public deserve a better explanation as to why the Security Servces have gone to such lengths to protect so many high profile figures from the Law.

Wars and Revolutions have started over considerably less than the kind of corruption being belatedly exposed at the highest level in our nation.

What unfortunately seems to be of the fact that these kinds of double standards, bad enough at the best of times and disastrously applied to the most serious sort of emotive social/legal situation has had all sorts of unfortunate repercussions. For instance it doen't require an enormous amount of gullibility on the part of an individual to persuade the voting public that a great deal of implicit blackmail has taken place over the issue of MP's, Ministers and their Rent Boys presiding over a clearly failing Democracy and a clearly failed House of Commons over the last several decades. That this has helped Labour run up debt as part and parcel of a pretence of doing anything genuinely worthwhile as far as opposing the Philosophy of trickle down Capitalism may be concerned, is a suspicion which seems justified by many aspects of a Great Scandal which the Media is trying hard to pretend is just another run of the mill sex scandal that can be dealt with by our honourable criminal justice system, rather than something which exposes a fatal lack of plain decency in public Life and one which should cause us to question the very nature of our so called Democracy: this, is all too plausibly what lies behind George Osborne's stated ambition to make it illegal for the Government to run up debt in "normal times" whatever that might happen to mean.

Here's a Joke

18 10 15

This isn't a Joke unfortunately. It certainly is difficult to believe that the Legal Authority in question has not got the two persons mixed up (sounds oddly familiar) as the man without the leg surely deserves ten times more than the bloke responsible for it going missing. If people are that badly affected by weapons discharge they really shouldn't be serving in the Armed Forces at all. It's no wonder that people aren't queuing up to join Cameron's new citizen army.

Colour Sergeant Albert Thomson, pictured, from Peterborough, lost his leg in Iraq in 2003 and was given £50,000

      But by contrast, The Mail on Sunday can reveal the officer accused of firing the weapon, Captain Thomas ‘Tam’ Henderson, 48, has been awarded £500,000 in an out-of-court settlement after suing the Ministry of Defence for stress suffered following the blunder in March 2003. There's no fathoming what's going on behind the eyebrows of the Judiciary in this Country: perhaps someone should wake them up and tell them Singapore has fallen.

The mind boggles! Unbelievable! Completely unbelievable! I'm utterly sick of hearing about these let downs when it comes to individuals without guile being treated so shabbily by national institutions that are supposed to be of good quality. This absolutely beggars belief ! Not good enough Prime Minister, not good enough at all! As a matter of fact I think it evidence of a deep and very disturbing malaise in the nation at large. When are we going to start taking the Royal Family to task for presiding over this disgusting shambles of a legal system and its hordes of arrogant, shiftless blood sucking parasite Lawyers? When, are the newspapers going to stop feeding us articles about media bimbos and endless moronic style tips instead of orchestrating proper debate? What, is it going to take?      

Martyrdom the Death of a Real Modern Hero: Khaled Assad Protector of Syrian Antiquities.(from August 2015)

There are so many good causes about, so many good motives for self sacrifice: it is to be hoped whatever else may come to pass, that when the curse of War and Civil Strife dies down in this ancient nation, that the Syrian people will be sufficiently edfied by the nobility of this man's sacrifice, that the memory of such an obdurate will, may imbue the people with the patience and wisdom that silent immortality brings.

It is to be hoped the World will remember!

Expose on the Pretence of Financing a so called, National Health Service: Jonathan Owen of the Independent 05 11 15

26 06 16

I'm increasingly inclined to believe that the Media is increasingly bombarding us with weather reports that are fictionalised with the intention to elicit a fake sense of well being.

The last couple of months has seen the local TV station consistently promising every f***ing day of every f***ing week that bright warm weather is just around the corner. I just don't believe they can have made the same mistake every single week of the season. It's just too strange that at a time when improving science should make accurate forecasting a formality that good news and good weather simply don't arrive. I have been waiting expectantly for months so I can get outside of my cramped one bedroomed flat and do some organising and every b***dy s*****g week it's the damn same. Don't worry sunny weather is just around the corner and it never ever turns up. Midsummer's day according to About Anglia was to have been preceded by several days of optimum weather conditions. It was actually preceded by days of chilly rain and grey skies and on Midsummer morning the skies were black and pelting. The only time I've ever seen weather like it in June was in the northern Pennines in 1975. It now seems that, at least according to the met Office, the rest of the Summer is going to be characterised by leaden skies and near continual heavy rain showers.